RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First?

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seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:07:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit submale4u2spank, you are full of shit. I will not mince words. You don't know a lifestyle domina or you could not say that. Free of charge... you're an idiot. ROFL .... i see ... Your sense of humor is still entact! [;)]

PeonForHer -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:11:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: submale4u2spank Dommes don't just want money first, they want it second, third and last. Just give them everything you have and see how much longer the relationship last after that. ;-) I don't think, sm4u, that you understand just how insulting it can feel to a woman to be called a gold-digger. If a woman's not that sort, it'll be like a punch in the belly to her.

WyldHrt -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:14:11 PM)
quote: If a woman's not that sort, it'll be like a punch in the belly to her. Given Lockit's reply, I would go with "invitation to kick you in the balls" rather than the above. [:D][:D][:D]

CelticSubM -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:17:33 PM)
So many "dommes" want money first because there are so many men who are stupid enough to give it to them, and the "dommes" want to get what they can before the sap maybe wises up. Funny, it seems like a lot of submissive men never heard the old saying "Never pay for what you can get for free."

SylvereApLeanan -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:17:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit Free of charge... you're an idiot. ROFLMAO!!! Here you go, Diva. You deserve this. [sm=2cents.gif][sm=2cents.gif][sm=2cents.gif][sm=2cents.gif][sm=2cents.gif]

RedMagic1 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:18:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo threads like these ... repeated ... will not work to attract the Dommes here ... if that is really what you are trying to do. Your wry ending made me chuckle. I wonder sometimes about people who think that shouting, "I'm frustrated!" is a way to attract others. It's the mindset of a pre-verbal child. Cry until you get picked up and soothed. And perhaps both tom and the unspanked submale know that they need someone else to run their lives, so they believe they need a D/s relationship. And perhaps they both do need it, in order to be productive. However, what's in it for the (fem)dom? I can sure as hell see myself saying, "You want me to run your life? Fine. That's $200 an hour." What else could someone in a state of profound emotional immaturity offer me? So I find myself slightly disagreeing with Lockit. Both of them may well have encountered lifestyle dominants in the past. But, with little to offer in the emotional generosity department, they were asked to be generous financially.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:21:17 PM)
Wowser. Some guy wrote me today and actually SAID that he was tired and frustrated and tired of fucking himself. As if that was an attractive quality. What can you say, besides Thanks for sharing, here's where the munches are? Which is essentially what I said.

Lockit -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:50:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM So many "dommes" want money first because there are so many men who are stupid enough to give it to them, and the "dommes" want to get what they can before the sap maybe wises up. Funny, it seems like a lot of submissive men never heard the old saying "Never pay for what you can get for free." First of all they are not domme's! They are women who see men who want to wank a certain way with their fantasy, who are willing to pay for it. They are not professional dominant's and they are not lifestyle dominant's. They are opportunist! They are only there because your brothers in sexual/kinky needs aren't willing to do what it takes to get it for free... a relationship. To blame lifestyle dominant's and compare us to this type is getting real tiring for me. I rarely call someone an idiot on the boards, but let me tell you, anyone who thinks so lowly of women and dominant women who live female led lives, is an idiot. You can join that group. How dare you judge us all as you both have. Does judging and giving opinions about women who are dominant justify something you all are doing or not doing? Do you like women? Did some woman hurt you and you want to get even? You don't like being labeled any more than we do, but I will throw one more at you. Loney, one handed lovers to yourselves because after the way you all have talked about us, you are going to be doing a solo hand job around here. Oh... what's new?

CelticSubM -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:57:22 PM)
Hey, read what I said again. It was the men that I said were stupid. I put "dommes" in quotation marks, because I agree with you, they are opportunists. I'm not blaming anyone except the men who are stupid enough to pay. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM So many "dommes" want money first because there are so many men who are stupid enough to give it to them, and the "dommes" want to get what they can before the sap maybe wises up. Funny, it seems like a lot of submissive men never heard the old saying "Never pay for what you can get for free." First of all they are not domme's! They are women who see men who want to wank a certain way with their fantasy, who are willing to pay for it. They are not professional dominant's and they are not lifestyle dominant's. They are opportunist! They are only there because your brothers in sexual/kinky needs aren't willing to do what it takes to get it for free... a relationship. To blame lifestyle dominant's and compare us to this type is getting real tiring for me. I rarely call someone an idiot on the boards, but let me tell you, anyone who thinks so lowly of women and dominant women who live female led lives, is an idiot. You can join that group. How dare you judge us all as you both have. Does judging and giving opinions about women who are dominant justify something you all are doing or not doing? Do you like women? Did some woman hurt you and you want to get even? You don't like being labeled any more than we do, but I will throw one more at you. Loney, one handed lovers to yourselves because after the way you all have talked about us, you are going to be doing a solo hand job around here. Oh... what's new?

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 7:58:02 PM)
It really is maddening, Lockit. I see so many profiles of men "serving" pro dominants---and yes, I do use that term loosely as well---and I hope they are happy in their shadow lives. That does NOT mean that the rest of us are sitting here with our figurative hands out waiting for someone to come sweeping in and pay for our lives. I do that just fine, thanks. It's the other side effect of the culture of cheapness that keeps subs from even buying a coffee, because it seems like "financial domination".

Lockit -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 8:11:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM So many "dommes" want money first because there are so many men who are stupid enough to give it to them, and the "dommes" want to get what they can before the sap maybe wises up. Funny, it seems like a lot of submissive men never heard the old saying "Never pay for what you can get for free." First of all they are not domme's! They are women who see men who want to wank a certain way with their fantasy, who are willing to pay for it. They are not professional dominant's and they are not lifestyle dominant's. They are opportunist! They are only there because your brothers in sexual/kinky needs aren't willing to do what it takes to get it for free... a relationship. To blame lifestyle dominant's and compare us to this type is getting real tiring for me. I rarely call someone an idiot on the boards, but let me tell you, anyone who thinks so lowly of women and dominant women who live female led lives, is an idiot. You can join that group. How dare you judge us all as you both have. Does judging and giving opinions about women who are dominant justify something you all are doing or not doing? Do you like women? Did some woman hurt you and you want to get even? You don't like being labeled any more than we do, but I will throw one more at you. Loney, one handed lovers to yourselves because after the way you all have talked about us, you are going to be doing a solo hand job around here. Oh... what's new? I won't blame you for my frustration or even at times, anger. I think what set me off the most about your post was the last line and the take I took, which it seems is all my fault. "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" So as you can see, I went off on your post because of a long standing frustration with men who are constantly trying to get the goods before putting anything of themselves into something more. This is also the fault of women who so readily jump into sexual and kinky things without expecting some respect and more than a fling or giving the goods in hopes of some relationship evolution. So if you are in agreement with me, you can maybe understand how tired one can get of being compared to people who take advantage of others and those who expect women to continue to be the good little stand by your man with ready cock that needs service. I typically laugh and move on. But one thread too many, add a number of emails from those who wish only to serve me... lol... and you have a red headed dominant wonder woman who is armed and dangerous. Maybe toward her own demise, but it is what it is. We are dominant women who wish to live female led lives with our partners, however that manifests between our partners and ourselves. The slam dunking of dominant women is getting real old. So... I am sorry if I misunderstood you and bashed you because of my own fault.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 8:12:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit they are not domme's! ... They are not professional dominant's and they are not lifestyle dominant's. They are opportunist! And some are Jail Birds ... Gamblers ... Money Launders … Identity Thieves … and assorted other petty criminals … And some are men ... too! Or couples where the girl handles the phone ... Bottom line is there is a HUGE Difference between these petty thieves... and Dommes ... be the Domme: Lifestyle, Professional or Both. And it really is a shame ... this site has so many thieves masquarading as Dommes ... but they think they will not get reported to the police ... because they hide under the cloak of BDSM ... and the victim will be so ashamed he will not report them.

CelticSubM -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 8:31:17 PM)
I think I can understand your frustration. Definitely, there's a lot here on CM and in the larger world that's going to be very frustrating to anybody whose sensitivity is above the level of solipsism. I often wonder, in all kinds of contexts, why every woman in the world doesn't become Lesbian. I admit, I could have worded my comments better. I was probably trying too hard to be catchy. Again, I find myself in agreement with everything you are saying. I'm very glad that sites like CM exist. I'm very glad there's a bdsm subculture. But I think those have their downside as well. On sites like this, it's easy to focus just on the kinky and forget about making a connection with someone on any other level. Personally, I believe if a man and woman, (or two men or two women, for that matter), like each other, enjoy spending time with each other, have reason they want to be around each other besides sex or d/s, are turned on by each other, things are probably going to work themselves out just fine when they get to the bedroom. It's an illusion to think we can find a lover or spouse or dominant or submissive that's made to our specifications. If we could, we'd probably be disappointed. A lot of the excitement, the enjoyment of intimacy comes from the open, joyous exploration and bridging of differences, large and small. quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM So many "dommes" want money first because there are so many men who are stupid enough to give it to them, and the "dommes" want to get what they can before the sap maybe wises up. Funny, it seems like a lot of submissive men never heard the old saying "Never pay for what you can get for free." First of all they are not domme's! They are women who see men who want to wank a certain way with their fantasy, who are willing to pay for it. They are not professional dominant's and they are not lifestyle dominant's. They are opportunist! They are only there because your brothers in sexual/kinky needs aren't willing to do what it takes to get it for free... a relationship. To blame lifestyle dominant's and compare us to this type is getting real tiring for me. I rarely call someone an idiot on the boards, but let me tell you, anyone who thinks so lowly of women and dominant women who live female led lives, is an idiot. You can join that group. How dare you judge us all as you both have. Does judging and giving opinions about women who are dominant justify something you all are doing or not doing? Do you like women? Did some woman hurt you and you want to get even? You don't like being labeled any more than we do, but I will throw one more at you. Loney, one handed lovers to yourselves because after the way you all have talked about us, you are going to be doing a solo hand job around here. Oh... what's new? I won't blame you for my frustration or even at times, anger. I think what set me off the most about your post was the last line and the take I took, which it seems is all my fault. "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" So as you can see, I went off on your post because of a long standing frustration with men who are constantly trying to get the goods before putting anything of themselves into something more. This is also the fault of women who so readily jump into sexual and kinky things without expecting some respect and more than a fling or giving the goods in hopes of some relationship evolution. So if you are in agreement with me, you can maybe understand how tired one can get of being compared to people who take advantage of others and those who expect women to continue to be the good little stand by your man with ready cock that needs service. I typically laugh and move on. But one thread too many, add a number of emails from those who wish only to serve me... lol... and you have a red headed dominant wonder woman who is armed and dangerous. Maybe toward her own demise, but it is what it is. We are dominant women who wish to live female led lives with our partners, however that manifests between our partners and ourselves. The slam dunking of dominant women is getting real old. So... I am sorry if I misunderstood you and bashed you because of my own fault.

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 8:53:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus the other side effect of the culture of cheapness that keeps subs from even buying a coffee, because it seems like "financial domination". Ah ... but a shrewd sub will realize ... buying You a coffee ... means ... seeing You in person .... And meeting a Domme in person ... means You are real! [;)] See .. the fakes never will meet ... (thought i should add) but still demand financial assistance (before some of my long distance pen pals ... want to kick me ... ;-) quote: ORIGINAL: CelticSubM Personally, I believe if a man and woman, (or two men or two women, for that matter), like each other, enjoy spending time with each other, have reason they want to be around each other besides sex or d/s, are turned on by each other, things are probably going to work themselves out just fine when they get to the bedroom. Another ... clear method of identifying a real Domme ... from a fake ...[;)] wanting to be around each other ... emotional involvement and support ... Looks like another case solved ... by Shear Luck Homes ... [;)]

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 9:16:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit We are dominant women who wish to live female led lives with our partners, however that manifests between our partners and ourselves. The slam dunking of dominant women is getting real old. The slam dunking of professional dominants gets old, too. There are unethical liars, cheats, fakes and ripoff artists out there on both sides of the kneel who are out to take people for all they can get. There are also ethical professionals who consider it an honorable responsibility to participate in a fair exchange where everyone gets what they clearly and honestly negotiated for. The fact is that if you have nothing else to offer in terms of a desirable personal relationship - if you're not super hot, you don't take care of yourself really well physically, you aren't fascinating and intelligent and educated and entertaining to be with - you probably do need to pay a professional. No one is going to be jumping up and down for the privilege of spending their time and energy on you when you are No Fun. You can work on making yourself more fun and more of a desirable partner, but let's be realistic - if you're an older man in dubious physical shape and chasing after the young hotties, you need to be prepared to compensate in other ways for your personal deficiencies. Otherwise they're going to be a lot more interested in dating other young hotties and not you. You can whine about the fact that nobody wants you for your sterling personal qualities, or you can decide to address your own deficiencies and work harder on making yourself a more desirable partner that maybe someone would want. Also, go hunting in your own league, because if all you're approaching is the young hotties, your likelihood of finding only women who want to be compensated to put up with your lack of also being a young hottie goes up exponentially.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 9:17:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lockit submale4u2spank, you are full of shit. I will not mince words. You don't know a lifestyle domina or you could not say that. Free of charge... you're an idiot. Lockit, You are too funny!!! [sm=rofl.gif]

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 9:24:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gedienstig quote: ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron quote: ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957 quote: ORIGINAL: MrRodgers I can just imagine what the boards would write if a man demanded tribute from a sub female. Nah, the male Doms don't ask for money up front. They ask sub females for pussy and naked pics up front. ~sweetsub~ I gotta say "Amen" to that one. Only right they ask for it, after all the dick pics we male subs send to "serve" our mistress, and that already in the first mail we send might I add [8D] PS: For the record, I have never sent a dick pic btw, so "we" doesn't reflect on me. I don't even have them, and if I had, it would hardly be anything to write home about[:D]... Maybe i'm just not "getting it," but who are you saying is asking for what? Are you referring to my comment about male Doms? i certainly never acted like the sort who'd pass out pussy or naked pics of myself. If you are referring to Dommes Who ask for $$, maybe They are pro-Dommes. One might get an inkling from reading the entire profiles...... ~sweetsub~

LadyCimarron -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 9:34:21 PM)
But the thing is most of them are not masquerading or trying to run a scam. Most of them put in their profiles that they want money. They make bold statements about taking men's money and men run to them like mindless sheep. Then say "Dommes only want money." All of the following statements came from profiles of so called Dommes. All 21 or younger. One even had a fucking paypal donate button in her profile. Truth be told I have no problem with them doing this. They are upfront and clear about what it is they want. I can respect that. The men who pay them and then come here and whine and bitch to us about it are the ones I have a problem with. Actual lines cut and pasted from profiles of CM "Dommes" I expect tributes obviously to prove your serious and to show me you value my time. I am going to take every dime you have I will financially dominate you Tribute is mandatory to talk to me I am a porn star you must pay me tribute as proof to me that you are worthy of my time. Ask me about my specials Some wealthy businessman who seriously wants a pretty girl to take control of his wallet has to be out there somewhere. *I AM A PRO-DOMME, I AM NOT LOOKING FOR PERSONAL SLAVES!* [8\|]Gee......do you think some of them might be after your money???[8\|][8\|][8\|][8\|]

seekingOwnertoo -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 9:49:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subbietom2 i apologize for being so naive quote: ORIGINAL: DarkSteven tom, we've been down this road before. Yes we have tom ... on the earlier thread that was last posted to on May 30, 2010. One of the things several of us said ... was to see a few Pro Dommes. And i am sure i told you ... there are some real good ... ethical ones out there. You just have to find them. And in your area. i am adding this post below .. because it is really on target with the discussion Dark Steven, Rochsub and myself had with you at the end of May. But we are men ... and this is an ethical Lady giving you the truth ... deal with it. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyNTrainer There are also ethical professionals who consider it an honorable responsibility to participate in a fair exchange where everyone gets what they clearly and honestly negotiated for. The fact is that if you have nothing else to offer in terms of a desirable personal relationship - if you're not super hot, you don't take care of yourself really well physically, you aren't fascinating and intelligent and educated and entertaining to be with - you probably do need to pay a professional. No one is going to be jumping up and down for the privilege of spending their time and energy on you when you are No Fun. You can work on making yourself more fun and more of a desirable partner, but let's be realistic - if you're an older man in dubious physical shape and chasing after the young hotties, you need to be prepared to compensate in other ways for your personal deficiencies. Otherwise they're going to be a lot more interested in dating other young hotties and not you. You can whine about the fact that nobody wants you for your sterling personal qualities, or you can decide to address your own deficiencies and work harder on making yourself a more desirable partner that maybe someone would want. Also, go hunting in your own league, because if all you're approaching is the young hotties, your likelihood of finding only women who want to be compensated to put up with your lack of also being a young hottie goes up exponentially.

LadyNTrainer -> RE: Why Do So Many Mistresses Want Money First? (6/8/2010 9:49:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyCimarron [8\|]Gee......do you think some of them might be after your money???[8\|][8\|][8\|][8\|] Fin-dom is its own kink, and the ladies who are into this (for whatever reason) should be pretty bloody obvious from their profiles. Duuh; don't be contacting them if this is not your kink. If you're not into golden showers, I would equally advise against soliciting women whose profiles prominently feature this kink. But if you do this thing, no one is going to have much sympathy for you when you end up getting pissed on. I have no sympathy or respect for stealth pros either, but if you're only perusing profiles of eager young hotties who seem to indiscriminately want male company, guess what you're going to be running into. Use your big head, not your little one, when deciding whose profile is worth further contact. And if you're not looking for a pro, ferfucksake READ THE PROFILE instead of just drooling over hot pics, and do not write anyone who clearly self-labels as "professional" or discusses tribute, financial domination or payment. Which brings you back to whether or not you're likely to be considered a desirable personal partner, but that's something you need to think about and work on to consider what you have to offer in a personal relationship. Can you honestly say that's a lot? If not, you need to start working it until it is if you want to have a hope of being considered desirable and fun for a dominant to spend time with.

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