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Profiles - 6/9/2010 5:21:48 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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Okay, folks this is a two-part question:

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?
B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

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RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 5:32:44 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
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If the profile is pompous, negative, full of blame, etc etc then yes, the profile is important and it tells me to avoid that person. If the profile has information that wouldn't suit me, such as it is for a couple looking for a third, then yes...it is important and I am not interested. If the profile has dick pictures or pictures of other people nude or otherwise, then yes, the profile is important and I would not be interested. The empty slate thing isn't as important as long as there is something else going on (emails) to tell me what that person is like.

I hate being lied to, it's a personal hot button. If I found that someone had lied to me about something I considered important, then I would probably no longer be interested in them.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 5:36:37 PM

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Hmm, I haven't started looking again yet, but last year, I preferred people who had a good profile. However, someone with a blank or short profile could get away with it if their initial e-mail really captivated me. On the second part, it would depend on whether it was an outright lie, or if something changed or there was a difference in definitions. For example, one of my friends went Vegan for about 6 months, and he was very straightforward about it during that time. Someone brought steak to a BBQ, and he decided he couldn't resist, then kind of wobbled back and forth between vegan and meat-eater for a couple more months before settling on being a carnivorous omnivore. If they weren't actually a sadist at all, that would be very different than if they just considered a little spanking and the odd nipple pinch to be "sadistic." There are different degrees, so in their mind, they could be completely honest. Mind you, I wouldn't be compatible with that person, but I wouldn't feel they had set out to decieve me. Same goes for masochism. If they only had experience online, or only had fantasized about it, I would expect them to be honest about that. Some things are important to share within the first couple of e-mails, or the first couple of times meeting in person, but I would be understanding if they weren't comfortable sharing them in their profile. Other things, like being in a relationship or only looking for casual or online play, need to be up-front, or I'll feel like they wasted my time.

< Message edited by Andalusite -- 6/9/2010 5:37:59 PM >

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 5:38:31 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
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A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

Profiles and photos are my first impression of people. They paint a picture of them in my mind so they are very important.

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

Lying to me about anything, even something little would probably force me to walk away. Especially in the begining. If I can't trust you we have nothing else to discuss.

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(in reply to lizi)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 5:57:07 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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Thanks for your responses ladies

With regards to the second part of my question, I'm thinking in terms of something that, had the person been honest, would have made you say thanks but no thanks because it means you really aren't compatible.

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(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:00:36 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

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Joined: 5/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Thanks for your responses ladies

With regards to the second part of my question, I'm thinking in terms of something that, had the person been honest, would have made you say thanks but no thanks because it means you really aren't compatible.

zephy as I said, for me if someone lies to me about ANYTHING I it will cause me to loose trust in them and that alone is a deal breaker for me. I am not compatible with liars. So their actual lie would only add fuel to the fire.

Example:

If my play partner lied to me about how he didn't want a monogomous relationship. The act of lying would cause me to step back , and the fact that I want a poly relationship would only make me step back even further.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:02:52 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
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From: Hell
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

A considerable amount, but it's not the only thing I look at. I also evaluate xir introductory approach, whether or not xie has a good command of the written language, and whether or not xie can carry on a stimulating conversation. I use the profile to estimate how well our interests match and if we're looking for the same things in a relationship.

quote:

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

Lies of any sort are a deal-breaker.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:18:04 PM

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A: It is all I have to go by, but I'm fairly easy...if it's not much written, or awkwardly phrased....no harm in messaging them to find out, people don't need to worry about their profiles (as far as attracting me goes anyways).
B: Fuck 'em if they do that, and not in the good way.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:20:51 PM

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From: S.E. London U.K.
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quote:

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

On a scale of one to ten with ten being "Oh this is very important important important must know this." One

quote:

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

On a scale of one to ten with ten being "That bastard has a penis he didn't tell me about." One.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:25:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Okay, folks this is a two-part question:

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

It's a first impression....
How does he present himself? Does he use lots of "scene" talk but really say very little about himself? A profile matters...too a point.

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

Lying, imo, speaks to a person's character. I've a much better understanding of my goals and desires here and I expect a man to be as honest and upfront about his as I am about mine.

It doesn't always happen that way but I've got a much better bullshit detector thanks to some of the "winners" I come across.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:46:33 PM

Posts: 2004
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I think your sig file pretty much sums it all up:

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche"

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:51:54 PM

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

Profiles and photos are my first impression of people. They paint a picture of them in my mind so they are very important.

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

Lying to me about anything, even something little would probably force me to walk away. Especially in the begining. If I can't trust you we have nothing else to discuss.

It's nice to see we can, at other times, totally agree on something.

I would just add the caveat that before walking away, I would give the other a chance to explain.

- LA

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(in reply to DaddysInkedSlut)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 6:58:59 PM

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Okay, folks this is a two-part question:

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?
B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

Well, it should be accurate.
It depends about what they lied about. I don't understand why anyone would lie on their profile anyway.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 7:00:00 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

Profiles and photos are my first impression of people. They paint a picture of them in my mind so they are very important.

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

Lying to me about anything, even something little would probably force me to walk away. Especially in the begining. If I can't trust you we have nothing else to discuss.

It's nice to see we can, at other times, totally agree on something.

I would just add the caveat that before walking away, I would give the other a chance to explain.

- LA

LA I am sure we agree on some things, even the most oppossite of people can find some common ground.

An explantion wouldn't change anything and sure wouldnt justifying betraying my trust so I perosnally wouldn't waste my time with their explanation.

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(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 7:05:04 PM

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Joined: 3/10/2010
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i normally use profiles to see if there is any compatibility or any possibilities for like interests and/or goals.....therefore, i don't like it if someone lies on their profile..i just don't like lies....personally i think it is silly to lie on the profile...if you are hoping to meet someone, then eventually the truth will come out anyway.

On a side note, i also peruse profiles for their humor value....i especially like to look at the backgrounds in photos...some people evidently do not look at anything but themselves in the photo....just saw a Dom with a load of laundry in the background and then another of the same man in what is evidently a bedroom and all you can see are clothes hanging all over the place....just made me giggle....guess he truly does need a slave to see to all that laundry...lol

(in reply to popeye1250)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 7:15:13 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

A) How much importance do you place on someone's profile when you are looking?

I read what they write about themselves to determine how compatible they are.... if they are 25 I know they are incompatible, if they live in Florida they are incompatible, and if they are seeking a slave they are incompatible

quote:

B) How upset would you be if it turned out that the person had lied about something that is very important to you ex: monogamy, Sadism, Masochism, vegtarian vs meateater

I recently had a guy who was 35 email me, and when I told him I wanted someone closer to my own age he emailed me back that he was actually older... when I asked him why he lied he had no good answer, and I never emailed him back.... honesty is everything to me these days

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 7:39:30 PM

Posts: 2195
Joined: 6/27/2005
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If I were looking..i would read the profile and see if there were aspects of it I didn't find compatible and either not be interested or if they were superficial reasons I wouldn't like them I would ask them pointed questions about what they meant by what they said..asking lots of questions is a good thing then at at least you know...of course anyone can lie but then you can say..."Liar liar pants on fire"...or something similar.....sorry hungry for my dinner to be done and being goofy!

< Message edited by playfulotter -- 6/9/2010 7:40:12 PM >

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 8:30:26 PM

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut
An explantion wouldn't change anything and sure wouldnt justifying betraying my trust so I perosnally wouldn't waste my time with their explanation.

I was talking about giving someone a chance to explain their perspective and circumstances. While many things can be pretty black and white, not everything is.

I have forgiven people who have struggled with things the past in such situations and I don't regret having done that. I realise that relationships take a lot of work and sometimes we have to forgive. Again, I put a lot of emphasis on the circumstances.

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 6/9/2010 8:31:57 PM >

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RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 8:46:09 PM

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

I was talking about giving someone a chance to explain their perspective and circumstances. While many things can be pretty black and white, not everything is.

I have forgiven people who have struggled with things the past in such situations and I don't regret having done that. I realise that relationships take a lot of work and sometimes we have to forgive. Again, I put a lot of emphasis on the circumstances.

I respect wanting to give others a chance, but in my experience it has not been a positive thing to do so... we all have different experiences in this life

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

RE: Profiles - 6/9/2010 8:50:00 PM

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Joined: 7/4/2004
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quote:

we all have different experiences in this life

Very true. :-)

- LA

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(in reply to juliaoceania)

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