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AAkasha -> RE: STRAP-On (6/20/2010 12:19:49 PM)
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I wrote an article about this several years ago and it still holds true -- specifically, what do I "get" out of using a strap on...
Femdom Reflections on StrapOn Play
(c) Akasha
When I was about 16, I used to roleplay fucking a man in the ass.
At that time, I never really thought I would feel the sensation for real, but I found the mere suggestion of it very empowering. I would have my boyfriend lay face down on the bed, and I'd straddle his back.
Kneeing his thighs apart, holding his face down with one hand to the back of his head, I would position my hips in the right place, sneering at him, rubbing my crotch suggestively over his ass.
I'd growl, pull his hair, thrust my hips toward him in a rhythmic motion, gaining momentum (and enjoying the pressure and stimulation) until I was slamming into him as if I were the man and he were the woman.
The power rush was sensational. Having him face down, holding his face down, hearing the muffled protests. I wondered how good it would feel to be able to have that ability for real -- to really *fuck* a man, to be a penetrator, not a penetratee.
I didn't actually think I would know one day. But then again, I was only 16 - I also didn't think I'd develop an interest in leashes and gagging men with my panties.
***
I remember the first time I wore my strapon. I modeled in front of the mirror and felt somewhat silly, but very sexy. It has a lot of leather straps and buckles, and can be tightened to fit snug enough to provide great stimulation to the pelvic bone. As a teen, I used to be able to orgasm from a good make out session while rubbing my jeans up against the hardness in my boyfriend's pants -- so you can imagine how stimulating it was to have that added bonus to my upcoming strapon play.
I can't say how many times I have modeled my strap on alone or in front of my victims, looking in the mirror, admiring the length and thickness of my new dick, sliding my hand up and down it. Simulating masturbation (I often wonder what that feels like for men -- really feels like).
There is nothing like the visual impact of it -- how it protrudes almost lifelike from my body if the lights are dimmed just right, or the room is only illuminated with candlelight. I catch reflections in the mirror and feel like the cock is really part of me.
Just strapping it on gets me wet. It's like a sign of what is about to come -- the power, the total ownership of my victim, the ability to be plunging into his most delicate of areas, controlling every sensation.
****
A strapon was definitely not the first thing I shoved into a man's ass. I had experimented lightly with sticking lubricated fingers into my victim's ass during anal-exam fantasies, or just to make them feel violated.
I had inserted plugs and various dildos, simulated some fucking sensations. But as I sat there, ramming the dildo in his ass with rhythm, my mind drifted to the more practical, more erotic, more stimulating *for me* option -- having the cock connected to me. Fucking him -- literally.
****
There is a difference between the mindframe and objectives when it comes to dildo and plug play vs. strapon play. I can have my victim tied down, his legs up and apart, ass cheeks open to me -- and very carefully and invadingly violate his ass by inserting a dildo or a plug. I can talk to him, tease him, stop and get up and look at him, stop and play with other toys while he has to hold the toy inside of him, testing the durability of his muscles.
Using the strapon is an entirely different sensation and mentality -- it is about taking him, using him, and penetrating him with a lust and passion that is not matched by hand-inserting a dildo into his ass.
With the strapon, my dick becomes an extension of me, and every thrust of my hips (sexual in nature) equates to a violation of his ass (domination). I can watch the look on his face if I have him on his back, or I can revert back to my schoolgirl position having him face down, gripping the bed sheets or shackles, depending on whether or not I have him locked down.
*****
Another thing, terribly overlooked in some erotic contexts, is the power of using the strapon for things other than ass fucking.
I like masturbating in front of my slave when he is not allowed to. Tying him down and having him watch me alternate between jerking myself off and massaging my pussy, until I cum in an orgasm that simulates his.
And he can do nothing.
I like making him watch me strap it on, locking the leather straps tight around my hips and thighs, staring into his eyes. Making him watch me lubricate it slowly, moving my hand up and down the long shaft with precision, making it shine with lubricant. Saying, "You know what I am going to do with this, don't you?"
But, I suppose, the second best thing to the actual ass-fucking with it is making my victim get down on his knees, crawl to me, and worship my latex cock.
Making him open his mouth so I can slide the tip of it between his parted lips, hands on my hips at first, moving just slightly back and forth. Telling him what a nasty cocksucking whore he is. Making him stick his tongue out and lick -- lick the tip, then to lick down the sides.
Finally opening his mouth to accept the full length of me -- all 8 or 9 inches, holding him by the head now, sliding my cock out of his lips slowly. It's glistening now, and I can feel the resistance as my hips move back and forth slowly.
It is then that I can reach over with my other hand, feeling down under me, feel the wetness, rub my pussy, soak my fingers while I give myself additional pleasure. Taking those wet fingers and rubbing them on the tip of my latex cock as a little treat for my nasty slave, making him lick it off eagerly to taste how excited he has made me.
Fucking a slave in the mouth can be extremely exciting -- especially if I control the deepness, the timing of the thrusts. Holding his head still, holding his chin down to keep his mouth open.
*****
For those thinking about strapon play, both from the giving and receiving end, I do have some practical suggestions -- based on experience, but limited to my own personal experience. So please take it for what it is worth.
I strongly suggest for women considering strapon play, or men encouraging their reluctant partners to consider it, that roleplaying be used first. It is important to establish the position and nature of the act as highly erotic and sexy.
When I was 16, I was fucking men in the ass in my head. I didn't know it then, but that's what it was. I can easily determine now why using a strapon is so erotic for me -- because at 16, exploring my sexuality, I was mimicking the posture and motions of it while highly turned on, and while stimulating my sexual areas through pressure and gyration -- it became a very pleasurable concept in my head from a young age.
Roleplaying allows both people to enjoy the concept of the penetration without the hang-ups, inevitable snags that pop up, and logistics of dealing with objects in extremely delicate human orifices.
If both are comfortable with the erotic roleplaying concept, then perhaps it is time to move to the next level, but I strongly suggest not jumping right to strapon play. The woman, especially if she has limited experience with the motions involved in being the *penetrator* (by nature this is not how we are built), attempting it right off could result in problems due to a variety of factors -- going too fast, too slow, at the wrong angle, with the wrong tempo. Moving in ways that she might not have as much control over her thrusts.
In order to make it more pleasurable and controlled, she should start with hand-inserting objects into her subject's ass, so she can understand the level of resistance, his tolerance for size and deepness, and the general limitations of the anatomy.
Only when she is totally comfortable with that do I suggest she move on -- otherwise, the first strapon experience could be a disaster, and destroy any established eroticism associated with the act.
The logistics of this kind of play are covered very well in many other sources. Using a lot of lubricant the first time, going very slow, communicating very seriously during the first trial runs. Do not expect to fuck or be fucked violently and passionately the *first time*. Until a woman is aware of your anatomy, it is not feasible that she become the ravaging Mistress-from-hell with the nasty dick, ready to take you.
It makes sense, to me, that the first time with a new partner should be a non-headspace event. That is, there are no roles, you are simply two people becoming comfortable with a new position. Talk about it the whole time, discuss feelings and sensations.
Then, the next time, the domina can buckle on the strapon cock with confidence, already comfortable with the positions, the tempo, the measurement and level of the thrusts. That way, it won't interfere with her headspace (sometimes nagging worries can really mess with a woman's control buttons -- there should be little or no doubt that what she is doing is good, is erotic, and is empowering -- not wondering, "oh no, is this too hard? is this too fast?")
There are plenty of times later where the domina can surprise the victim and take him as if it were the first time. I personally enjoy telling the sub that some day it will happen, and he knows he is to resist passionately, desperately, and will be taken ruthlessly against his will.
And because I love the act, because it is so erotic and nasty to me, I can strap him down, hold his face down, and thrust my 8 inch cock into his ass with no worries, no wondering, and no hesitation. I can violate him with deep, penetrating thrusts, until his ass is sore and he has smeared the pillow with sweat and tears.
The only way that is possible is because of my lust for the act -- and my understanding of the sensations, and patience to do it right.
Akasha
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