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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 6:31:37 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Wave back. Walls are generally more friendly than people give them credit...

I seem to have confused bleach with mouthwash this morning and I have this annoying burning sensation in the back of my throat. Is there anything to worry about?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 981

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 6:34:48 AM

missgiveNTake

Posts: 673
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

Not at all, it's just doing it's job and killing all the germs.

I was letting a candle burn while it was in my ass, then I fell asleep. How do I get the candle stump out?

_____________________________

I am a very good girl, very good at all I do.

Highly intelligent with a generous pinch of the absurd! (Thank you Crouchingtigress)

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 982

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 6:35:20 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

don't worry about it you will at least have nice white teeth

They are coming for me what do I do

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 983

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 6:42:14 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

" I was letting a candle burn while it was in my ass, then I fell asleep. How do I get the candle stump out?"

Beans and jumping jacks. Sure 'fire' way.

" They are coming for me what do I do"

Bake them a cake

I mistook allergy pills for Viagra and now every time I sneeze, another stain shows up in my shorts. Is this normal?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 984

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 6:59:41 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

totaly, in fact you can sell it as undershorts body art on ebay

"They" do not like cake it seems and they have been angered, what do I do

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 985

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 7:13:27 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Start a food fight and at an opportune time, spray them in the face with whipped cream.

I was killing some time by trying to clean my shotgun again, just in case of stupid people coming to my house again, and seem to have gotten my penis stuck in the trigger guard. Any suggestions on how to remedy the situation?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 986

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 10:26:18 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I was killing some time by trying to clean my shotgun again, just in case of stupid people coming to my house again, and seem to have gotten my penis stuck in the trigger guard. Any suggestions on how to remedy the situation?

This is going to be tricky but if you follow what I tell you exactly to the letter you will be fine. First of all remove your penis from the trigger guard and see if it is damaged. Then reinsert your penis into the trigger guard and observe how it got stuck. Then, just do the reverse and your penis will be out from under the gun.

My next door neighbor keeps bugging me to take them places as they have no car. This is becoming a serious problem because they nag at me to do this for them. What can I do to stop myself from going insane?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 987

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 10:52:30 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

wait till you truly do go insane and then shoot them, this way you can get off with an insanity verdict.

when I'm in a parking spot about to leave people have a habit of pulling behind my car and stopping, what should I do?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 988

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 10:52:39 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

<edited...damnit Wolf lol >

Ram into the side of their car as hard as you can and say "oopsie"

I now have new neighbors moving in upstairs and they are loud as hell, what should I do?

< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 6/2/2006 10:54:08 AM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 989

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 10:56:41 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

call the best lover you know over have a party in your bedroom and prove to them that you can be loud too

I crashed into their car and said oopsie but the cop didn't buy it so now I have a broken tail light and am being sued, what should I do?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 990

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 11:11:22 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

tell the cop to piss off and refuse to pay for any damages

I invited a slave over and we made a ton of noise of in the bedroom the neighbors called the cops because the boy was screaming from CBT and now I have a house full of cops and am being arrested for assault because they caught me in mid swing of the cock whip... what do I do?

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 991

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 11:14:11 AM

Wolf1020

Posts: 447
Joined: 11/7/2005
From: Anderson, SC
Status: offline

wink at them and smile real pretty and innocent like, call them daddy too. If all else fails offer to take then all out for a round of doughnuts.

I told the cop to piss off, he yelled at me, I said "bad cop no doughtnut!", and he arrested me. What am I supposed to do now?

_____________________________

"The less people know about how sausages and laws are made, the better they'll sleep at night."~ Otto von Bismarck

"Fish and visitors smell in three days"~Benjamin Franklin

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 992

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 11:16:12 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

I crashed into their car and said oopsie but the cop didn't buy it so now I have a broken tail light and am being sued, what should I do?

Kill them, in the long run it will be cheaper, especially if they have a lawyer. Meanwhile free room and board will be provided by the state. And, unlike the car accident, the lawyer to defend your "justifiable homicide" will also be provided free by the State.

beth and I are flying on the 'red-eye' to the east coast. How soon after take off should we re-establish our membership into the "Mile High" club? Should we ask the flight attendant to join us?

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 993

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 11:17:07 AM

Reflectivesoul

Posts: 1777
Joined: 4/25/2006
Status: offline

<edited> Hiyas Merc

quote:

beth and I are flying on the 'red-eye' to the east coast. How soon after take off should we re-establish our membership into the "Mile High" club? Should we ask the flight attendant to join us?

after about 2 minutes after take off when you grab the flight attendant and put her over your knee and paddle her ass

quote:

I told the cop to piss off, he yelled at me, I said "bad cop no doughtnut!", and he arrested me. What am I supposed to do now?

wink at him and smile all pretty and innocent like and call him daddy and waggle your tongue at him just a bit then wiggle your hips just soo...

I smiled cutely at them and batted my lashes, now I have 5 cops handcuffed to my bed and drooling, what do I do?

< Message edited by Reflectivesoul -- 6/2/2006 11:20:40 AM >

_____________________________

ooooo..I bet THATS gonna leave a mark!!!!

Equal opportunity pisser on-er ... heh..

Gimme some crayons, I want color and I want it now DAMNIT!

(in reply to Wolf1020)

Post #: 994

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/2/2006 12:18:37 PM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Grab a pair of racing crops and pretend their ass cheeks are bars on a xylophone.

I finally figured out what went wrong with the shotgun, but in the process, I seem to have ruptured a testicle. How should I explain this to the doctor?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Reflectivesoul)

Post #: 995

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 12:28:07 AM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Simple, you tell your doc that your wife and your girlfriend are
both ball-busters.

I have mosquito bites on my legs and they are itching like mad.
What should I do?

Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dustyn

I finally figured out what went wrong with the shotgun, but in the process, I seem to have ruptured a testicle. How should I explain this to the doctor?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 996

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 1:05:45 AM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I have mosquito bites on my legs and they are itching like mad.
What should I do?

Get your teeth around them and bite them off. If you can't reach them with your teeth, call the policemen above to assist.

My female cat has developed a passion for my pet ferret. What should I do?

(The was once a real life situation. The cat went into heat and would drape herself over the unneutered ferret and nuzzle his balls. Eventually she'd raise her tail and back up into his face, whereupon he'd bite her in the box. She'd yelp and run off and sulk, but an hour later she'd be back rubbing all over him.)

(in reply to Vendaval)

Post #: 997

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 4:01:28 AM

LaMalinche

Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline

Perform a wedding ceremony. Just because they are different species does not mean that they should not have a happy life togeather. You are not one of those people that oppose gay marriage I bet. Stop being so speciest.

I mistook the nair for my conditioner. . . what should I do? I had always thought that my hair was wavy. . . but it is really that my scalp is wavy.

_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Petruchio)

Post #: 998

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 4:23:52 AM

Dustyn

Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline

Either go to the local auto parts store and invest in some Turtle Wax and a polishing cloth or get some red suspenders and Doc Martins and hope the local skinheads have a vacancy.

I have discovered that I have a propensity towards twitching people for sheer humor value. Should I worry if they start foaming at the mouth?

_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LaMalinche)

Post #: 999

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 6/3/2006 7:39:07 AM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

quote:

I have discovered that I have a propensity towards twitching people for sheer humor value. Should I worry if they start foaming at the mouth?

Stop twitching people. They probably won't foam if you twitch them, but they might call the police.

My laptop battery died. What should I do?

(in reply to Dustyn)

Post #: 1000

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