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This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/19/2004 7:14:35 AM

velvettears

Posts: 60
Joined: 9/18/2004
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Being new to this site, I was not sure if this had already been posted so thought I would ask anyways and if not answered here perhaps someone would send me an email with their opinion lol. I am a single mom and wondered how someone in my situation brings the lifestyle in her everyday life and yet still "keep the kids" from wondering too much about things like why mommy likes to wear leather so much lol. Seriously it has at times kept me from meeting Doms/Masters because i would fear my own child would think i was a "freak"...well yeah i am a freak lol but you get my point...anyones opinion/advice would be most helpful :)

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/19/2004 8:01:29 AM

sweetpleaser

Posts: 689
Joined: 8/5/2004
From: Florida
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Welcome to the forum!! I am not the expert thread puller, Proudsub is on vacation, but here is a thread regarding this subject

Kids and BDSM

Also, you can do a search using the search option in the top right corner of the message board.

Good luck,
ann

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It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.--Mae West

(in reply to velvettears)

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/19/2004 5:48:06 PM

newflowers

Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
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I too am a single mom with girls ages 12 and 19 - the 19 year old knows in a general way of my interests as she read the Gloria Brame book on my self and asked if I was interested in such things and I told her yes. The little one knows not so much, but as she is netiher blind nor deaf, and we use the same computer, she has asked. I told her that different people like and are attracted to different things. It is not an issue of weird or normal, but differnt needs. This she understood and is fine. And so I wear what I want and, though I am discrete, I am not secretive. My children have long known of respect, tolerance, and acceptance for themselves and others.

It is simply not a problem. There are times when we talk and times when we do not.

Ultimately, I am the mom not subject to the approval of my girls because I am the grown up. But this applies in many situations within our family life. When I had a partner, the girls treated him with the kindness and respect I expect from them for all guests and visitors.

Certainly I can see in the future when I have a partner again that, as they are not the little children they were before, they may question and comment more, and I am fine with that. They know still, regardless of agreement and understanding, that the watch words are respect, accpetance, and tolerance - I have taught them so, I show it to them, to their friends, and they do so to me. There are aspects of my life that are private and some that are not - they know this. And, in the end, I have "paid the cost to be the boss" and this works for us.

My advice is teach your children to be respectful, tolerant, and accepting of others who are different - I'm sure you already have otherwise you'd not be so worried about their reactions. Talk about basic and expand when they ask. You get to be the mom and are entitled to a private life that does not include your children. Enjoy yourself.

newflowers

newflowers

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/19/2004 5:53:56 PM

velvettears

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Joined: 9/18/2004
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Thank you for your input it has been greatly appreciated and the sound advice will be used. I feel more confident now about how to deal with the issure, then i was before thanks to the threads and to your message. thank you so much !

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/19/2004 8:43:10 PM

ScorpioMaster

Posts: 146
Joined: 3/30/2004
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I have met allot in the lifestyle were some told the kids while some did not. I have talked with some in the lifestyle who their kids grew up as it was part of their life and they do not no any things different. I know some who the older kids know while the younger ones do not and they only time they play is when they gone for the weekend. In some situation I know they X found out they were into it and they went to court and got the kids. I know some who lost their kids who are in the lifestyle. The queastions I would ask do you want to be honest and up front with your kids about sex's or let them know it is something dirty. Remember we are of a time were sex was a dirty word and the bed room door was locked. This is something you must be aware of possiable problems and decide for your self if they are hold enough to understand. The kids will find your toys no matter what you do to hide them. Good luck.

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/19/2004 9:10:52 PM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
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quote:

I am not the expert thread puller, Proudsub is on vacation, but here is a thread regarding this subject

Kids and BDSM

You did well ann, i think that is the best thread on this, thank you for covering for me.

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"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/20/2004 11:58:29 AM

Sundew02

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I didn't mix my D/s appetite with my Kids in the house. Back then I had a seperate place to express myself. OR the kids were not at home when I did. They did of course find odd items around the house, which I then smiled teased them until they let the subject go. Sundew

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/20/2004 1:28:47 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
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This yahoo group is focused on this subject. Maybe it will be a good resourse for you.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ParentsInTheLifestyle/

Merc & beth

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/20/2004 3:28:27 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
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A topic no one has touched on yet. Make sure your kids are safe. Make sure you check out any Dominants fully beforehand. Not having kids myself if I were seeking I'd have an easier job than you have. There are a lot of pedophyles out there. They prey on kids who have parents into the lifestyle.
Here in California. Maybe 5 years ago or so. We had the head of pediatrics for Kaiser hospital. Who was very active into the scene by the way. Very well respected. Busted for pedophilia. He would recruit willing women who just happened to have little girls. End up somehow convincing the woman to allow him to "play" with their children as well.
I believe he got something like 20+ years. Although these people are everywhere.

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/29/2004 2:42:02 PM

plyslavewanted

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Joined: 9/28/2004
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as I am also new to this site,, and in the process of Marrying my Master, He has always said that real life comes bfore the lifestyle, and He live sthat rule,, i do not want my children involved as to knowing of the lifestyle theya re too young,, and W/we do keep the lifetsyle sererate from real life, i know MAster's hand gestures and looks without him saying anything so i can still Serve Him and please Him without anyone knowing anything diffrent

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/29/2004 3:22:03 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

Posts: 306
Joined: 3/14/2004
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welcome to the boards

stormi's advice would be this.....Start by wearing things that are not uncommon, leather skirts and such in your normal wear.
You can always use the line " I've always wanted a leather skirt" or "I've wanted one of these but goodness not sure if I should wear" or stormi's favorite " Mom wants to feel pretty tonight". By the time stormi's children, ex-spouse and parents/family found out where the real pleasure of stormi's life came from they were already comfortable in seeing her in leather short skirts or corsets. But... the skirts while short were not asscheek showing. Just short enough to be a good teasing sub/slave

.

When was married and needed a "night" out with her spouse, her daughter would stay with her parents. Once when asked why stormi replied.... romance... mom wants to be romantic. Being very young, her daughter giggled and eeewwwwww'd about romance (kissing and hugging). To this day, it's still funny to remember.

You can always depending on your size find things at Victoria's or if larger Lane Bryants that are sexy as all get out and very reasonably priced. Also if you have one in your area check out AVENUE. Beautiful lingerie as fetish wear is hot and yet common in daily life. Just be you, be secretive but open at the same time.. not sure that makes sense. But you are a single mom and they go thru changes.. this is simply a change that you can handle as such just as you do a change in routine or any number of things.

Again welcome to the boards and good luck!!

stormi
property of Master Bear

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owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

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RE: This lifestyle mixed into home life - 9/29/2004 3:26:53 PM

stormiKnightBEAR

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This girl is happy for you.... that sounds like a thoughtful wonderful Master.

Master is much the same way, He has looks and movements that even in the most
vanilla world tell this girl loads. Including when to step back and be in position beside
Him.

Great men are hard to find... Thoughtful, wonderful Dominants are even harder.

This girl is glad others have found the right one for themself as well.

This girl knows how lucky she is.

stormi
property of Master Bear

_____________________________

owned white silk slave of TEMJI aka Master Bear

PROUD TO BE TEXAN AND AMERICAN BY BIRTH~
GOD BLESS TEXAS AND THE U.S.A !!!!

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