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Switch types? - 3/21/2004 5:21:22 PM

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Just curious: There may be many types. (Like in everything else.

) Is there a generally accepted breakdown of people who switch with the same partner versus one who subs for one and Doms for another?

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RE: Switch types? - 3/21/2004 9:35:40 PM

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So far, I have switched with the same partner. I can definitely see being dommed by one and domming another. We'll see what happens in the future.

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< Message edited by MistressKiss -- 3/21/2004 9:35:56 PM >

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RE: Switch types? - 3/22/2004 4:30:51 AM

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I have begun "trying/learning" as a slave to a male while at the same time have a slave under me. The slave under me as well as some Master friends thinks it a good idea. I do have mixed feelings with it all. Some of which include being "used" as a slave exp sexual infront of MY slave and having the same things I did to him being done to me. So far, have only "touched" the tip of the iceberg.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Switch types? - 3/22/2004 11:34:04 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: iwillserveu

Just curious: There may be many types. (Like in everything else.) Is there a generally accepted breakdown of people who switch with the same partner versus one who subs for one and Doms for another?

Generally accepted? As in a rule of thumb? I don't think so. You dom who you are comfortable with, and you sub to who are comfortable with (or not comfortable with, if that's yer bag).

I submit to one of my girlfriends, and she submits to someone else. I don't see myself ever topping her in RL, (although I did think about it of late, but for reasons that aren't pertinent here), and she has said the same thing to me (in that she doesn't think she could bottom to me).

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Switch types? - 3/23/2004 12:45:42 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FriendlyMaster

I have begun "trying/learning" as a slave to a male while at the same time have a slave under me. The slave under me as well as some Master friends thinks it a good idea. I do have mixed feelings with it all. Some of which include being "used" as a slave exp sexual infront of MY slave and having the same things I did to him being done to me. So far, have only "touched" the tip of the iceberg.

Back when I was first learning about the lifestyle. Most people well Dominants would say, they had to feel the sting of the whip..etc..etc so they could have a submissive or slave.
That way they knew what emotions were running through the submissives mind. During whatever may be happening at the given time.
I really don't know if I agrre'd fully with their ideas. I do believe it is a good thing for the Dominant to truly know what is happening. But to be trained as a sub first. I don't know.

Would this make all of these older people switches? If a Dom switches at all..if even for training..is he still a full fledged Dom?

(in reply to FriendlyMaster)

RE: Switch types? - 3/26/2004 7:30:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire

I really don't know if I agrre'd fully with their ideas. I do believe it is a good thing for the Dominant to truly know what is happening. But to be trained as a sub first. I don't know.

Would this make all of these older people switches? If a Dom switches at all..if even for training..is he still a full fledged Dom?

I think "switch" is a term that is thrown around rather loosely and, as with most terminology in this venue, not everyone who says it means the same thing that everyone ELSE who says it means.

I am a sado-masochistic dominant woman. I do not consider myself a switch. I enjoy both ends of the whip and I've been told that I'm as formidable a bottom as a top (I have pics that would tend to agree with that notion). What I do not enjoy, however, is submission. I've tried to 'fake' it...it didn't work. Usually I just laugh...often in someone's poor face, sometimes I get angry, usually it just bores the hell out of me. There is nothing in it for me.

I do not bottom to tops that need or want submission. People who have seen me bottom said that it seemed like I was co-topping myself. I usually have a goal when I bottom and I do not bottom to someone who can not enjoy achieving that goal with me. I do not bottom often. I've been told I look like I was hit by a zamboni after I've bottomed...I really don't "need" to bottom again for a significant amount of time.

My experiences with bottoming to someone who submits to me were not good. I've tried it often enough to know that I will not do it again. It muddied the waters.

Your mileage may vary.

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(in reply to sub4hire)

RE: Switch types? - 3/26/2004 10:12:01 PM

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quote:

I have begun "trying/learning" as a slave to a male while at the same time have a slave under me.

My first D/s experience was online and after being with my Master for about a year he gave me a sub of my own as a gift. I was very honored but it just wasn't in my nature to be a domme and i found it very difficult. Even though it was all fantasy online scenes it was still hard for me, and in the end she ended up being my sister sub. Later when i had a r/l Master he had me tie him a few times and use a crop on him, and that also was difficult for me but i did it to please him. I guess i will never be a switch LOL.

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(in reply to FriendlyMaster)

RE: Switch types? - 4/15/2004 4:21:08 AM

fiestytigress01

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Well im new posting.. but i am a submissive switch. This means i am very very submissive but for the right person i can switch. I was in a relationship with a Dominant switch. Same difference he was predominantly Dominant and rarely was submissive. We could just look at each other and whomever was submissive at the moment would usually just lower there eyes and get with it. I will admit we have had a few scenes were we struggled for power. That too was pretty interesting and it was whomever ate their wheaties that morning was going to end up ton top.. literally.. hahaha. It is always fun to switch with the right people. You just have to know when where and how. But it is also challenging cause alot of switches do get in a mood where they want to switch midscene. This takes time and patience and a strong uhmm paddle (consensually of course) lmao.. Anyways its all about the timing and finding someone to mold into your needs as much as you mold into theirs.

tig

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Switch types? - 4/16/2004 2:44:20 PM

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Interesting comments here.

I've a few girl playmates who submit to women but top men. I confess I adore the heirarchy of a lovely female at My feet whilst she also dominates a male sub who, essentially, through the chain of command is submitting to Me as well. Tricky but fun! And, I do have a few men who are dominant but come to me for the "submissive experience" to better understand their partners. To each his/her own and whatever makes you happy, I think.

I can relate to MizSuz as well somewhat, in that while I too am not a switch, I also enjoy "both sides of the whips" as She so eloquently states. Although, I am a "flagellant masochist" and I like the thrill of a "self-whipping". I cannot submit, I despise bondage and even bottoming to another is not an enjoyable thing for Me (OK, I hate it!). (Ummm, could it be a control issue!

) But, I do enjoy and benefit from the experience of a good self-given thrashing.

Great post.

Truly,

Lady T.

(in reply to iwillserveu)

RE: Switch types? - 4/16/2004 7:16:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyTantalize

I can relate to MizSuz as well somewhat, in that while I too am not a switch, I also enjoy "both sides of the whips" as She so eloquently states. Although, I am a "flagellant masochist" and I like the thrill of a "self-whipping". I cannot submit, I despise bondage and even bottoming to another is not an enjoyable thing for Me (OK, I hate it!). (Ummm, could it be a control issue! ) But, I do enjoy and benefit from the experience of a good self-given thrashing.

T,

I think we are of a mind in terms of submission. I can tell you from first hand experience (some would say a good deal of it) that it is possible to 'co-top' yourself with another top. Much hinges on the relationship. I most enjoy bottoming with tops with whom I have an endearing friendship and who understand that not only do I not want to submit, but asking me to is probably going to keep me from going where we both want to go. Tops who can enjoy topping without the need for D/s.

It can be very animalistic and hot, especially if they can enjoy the bit of 'give back' that comes with a combative and defiant bottom.

Try it, you might like it.

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to LadyTantalize)

RE: Switch types? - 4/17/2004 3:28:57 AM

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Hello i am new here and checking out the site, i would just like to say, i like being in relationships where my lover is a top most of the time, but there are times when I have to have her the way I want her, most of my relationships with women have been this way. I enjoy the botom most of the time, but like to be with someone that can allow me to express my need to top every now and then.

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Switch types? - 4/27/2004 10:19:56 PM

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I also agree with MizSuz. I am a Domme/bottom switch, not a D/s switch. I have never switched with a single person. I have a wonderful Mistress whom I scene with at the clubs, etc... And there is nothing quite like it to me. I do not feel that I could ever give up being on the receiving end of the whip, but I have yet to submit to Her beyond a quick peck on her shoe after a scene to express my gratitude.

I have mixed feelings about any sub of mine possibly seeing me as a bottom, and still ponder what the ramnifications of a sub witnessing me scening as a bottom would be. Has anyone here had a sub witness them as a bottom/sub in a scene? Did it change things at all?

~C~

(in reply to GotHotLove)

RE: Switch types? - 4/28/2004 6:39:20 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SwitchChastity

I have mixed feelings about any sub of mine possibly seeing me as a bottom, and still ponder what the ramnifications of a sub witnessing me scening as a bottom would be. Has anyone here had a sub witness them as a bottom/sub in a scene? Did it change things at all?

I've bottomed publicly and privately. I've had submissives that watched me bottom. Some had a tough time watching and wanted to hammer the top; some enjoyed watching me enjoy myself.

I've been in a few relationships with switches. My own experience is that much depends on the kind of relationship you want to have. I will never have another submissive 'significant other' who actively dominates another person that isn't submissive to me as well. It's always muddied the waters and made things more difficult than I care to deal with. I have no problem being in a relationship with a dominant male who also has a submissive, but I do not want the submission of someone who is actively the dominant in a relationship I am not at the top of the heap of; not as a life partner.

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- Robert Heinlein

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RE: Switch types? - 5/17/2004 7:36:40 AM

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nice site MizSuz.. :)))) and i agree with you... the question is though.. do we run away till its no longer an oligarchy, or stay and fight... Bush's crap is finally finding the light of day, so... hopefully he'll be squirming like a sub on the table soon. :))))

(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Switch types? - 5/18/2004 9:48:20 AM

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This is my first time post here but this is a subject that i feel needs to be talked about more.
i call myself a switch because i have a dominant personality and enjoy being the Dom in almost any given situation.in public i usually take control of whats going on around me.
but at the same time i love it when i get the chance to be bound,gagged,hooded,mummified,and controled while in restraint.the loss of control is probably the most stimulating when i have no way out and no idea how long i will be that way.
the bigest problem facing a "switch"is finding someone that wants to scene as a top when their first impression upon seeing you is that you are a Dom.
Switches are misunderstood.i can feel sub to only a few people i have ever met in my lifetime.i can Dom most.what i cant seem to find is someone who realises that being restrained and having choices taken away is something that is enjoyable even though i crave to be in control.
sometime i think that the need to be in control and having it taken away consentually is whats important.then not being able to get it back till someone else releases me when they desire.

(in reply to F1l3kutt3r)

RE: Switch types? - 5/19/2004 4:50:03 AM

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quote:

I will never have another submissive 'significant other' who actively dominates another person that isn't submissive to me as well.

I am a parent of two, and dating people with children is very similar to this. I do not consider myself those parents children. I might 5 years into the relationship when the child is asking me to adopt them, but initially even discussing it raises huge warning flags in my mind. The solution for me if I end up in a relationship with a switch is to simply add to my list of general ground rules that said switch's submissives are not my submissives and it is a relationship they have which exists outside of the relationship I have with the person submissive to me.

My usual "just me, could be wrong" caveats apply here, but I have to believe something and it is too early in the morning (or late at night, I just got off work) to believe I will have a beer.

Sinergy

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RE: Switch types? - 5/20/2004 4:41:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: F1l3kutt3r

nice site MizSuz.. :)))) and i agree with you... the question is though.. do we run away till its no longer an oligarchy, or stay and fight... Bush's crap is finally finding the light of day, so... hopefully he'll be squirming like a sub on the table soon. :))))

HAHAHA Thanks for the chuckle this morning. It's been a while since I saw this thread or I would have responded to you sooner.

Your words give me hope (even if they are a bit off topic). Thank you!

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“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to F1l3kutt3r)

RE: Switch types? - 5/20/2004 4:47:48 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

The solution for me if I end up in a relationship with a switch is to simply add to my list of general ground rules that said switch's submissives are not my submissives and it is a relationship they have which exists outside of the relationship I have with the person submissive to me.

This was the thing that just didn't work for me. I'm sure that it probably had more to do with the people involved than the established dynamic. Needy, proprietary femme sub and my male sub's inability to say (and do) "These are the lines, do not go over them or we will not continue" left me just wanting to be as far away from both of them as I could get.

Which is what I did and I'm feeling MUCH better now!

_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

(in reply to Sinergy)

RE: Switch types? - 5/20/2004 8:21:42 PM

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Yanno once I have power - that's the end of switching.

lol

Basically I couldn't submit to someone I dominated - my dominant side simply would NOT stop rising to the surface.

Then again I can't submit easily so it doesn't happen often. I *can* bottom, but again if I have dominanted the person, you can be sure I'll be going for that dominant spot in the interaction in seconds so it's kinda useless.

lol

~ShadeDiva

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(in reply to MizSuz)

RE: Switch types? - 5/20/2004 9:03:51 PM

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My first Dom relationship was a train wreck from beginning to end. He made several gross errors (going over my limits) and so did I. It ended poorly. There is silence for several months, then he contacts me twice with demands that I submit again. I don't answer. Then he takes this tack that HE wants to submit to ME. About every month I get another begging email. After a year of sporatic emails from him, I decide to answer him to tell him I'm not interested. He pretty much hasn't taken NO for an answer. He says that our time together confused him and that he only trusts me to Domme him. He wants to explore the sub side of himself, but only if I help him. I'm not interested. First of all, I don't trust him. Second of all, if i got him all tied up with a big paddle in my hand, he'd better not trust me to treat him well. So, I'm curious.. has anyone else had anything similar happen to them?

(in reply to ShadeDiva)

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