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Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:07:19 PM

Posts: 10
Joined: 3/22/2006
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Personaly im 100% Dom, although at 23 ive found that allot of people Dom's and Subs tend to well lets say "Patronise" allot, i take it on the chin with a stiff uper lip and all that lol. I understand that a Dom is supposed to be in a possition to teach their sub and seing somone young it may seem as if they do not understand the situation as well (less experience) and i can understand if in allot of cases that is true, but basicaly id like to know peoples opinions on young doms.
Thanks

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:16:36 PM

Posts: 391
Joined: 2/5/2005
From: Southeastern, MA
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I don't think your age makes you any less of a Dominant than say someone that is in their 50's. Granted, yes, your age would mean that you have less experience in the lifestyle, but we all have to start somewhere. I think it's great that you're in the lifestyle at a younger age. I wish I had learned about it when I was in my early 20's, but back then I didn't have a clue, just knew I always thought differently than others. Just find yourself a sub that wants to learn and grow with a Dominant, and possibly find yourself a Mentor, attend munches, play parties, etc. Whatever you do, good luck!!!

< Message edited by jezzabelle -- 4/13/2006 2:26:01 PM >

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:28:02 PM

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Agree withe jezzabelle. Age isnt a factor in a dominant personality, just means you may be less experienced in other ways. As always, with everyone, you just have to find a compatable partner.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 4/13/2006 2:38:37 PM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to jezzabelle)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:28:53 PM

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Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungWYorksDom

Personaly im 100% Dom, although at 23 ive found that allot of people Dom's and Subs tend to well lets say "Patronise" allot, i take it on the chin with a stiff uper lip and all that lol. I understand that a Dom is supposed to be in a possition to teach their sub and seing somone young it may seem as if they do not understand the situation as well (less experience) and i can understand if in allot of cases that is true, but basicaly id like to know peoples opinions on young doms.
Thanks

Young, old.. it doesn't really matter to me. Talent, creativity, a nice dark and evil mind.. and those are not the bailiwick of the old. I often find 'young' refreshing and enthusiastic. Jaded and cynical, however, tends to come about with time. I say let the young march in. BDSM needs a good influx of new blood, new ideas and new ways of doing things.

Celeste

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:35:51 PM

Posts: 139
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline

I'm not a Dominant, but I do understand the whole age thing. I started in the lifestyle just before my 20th birthday...and what a stink that caused...I think now, its far more accepted for people to start younger than it used to be. I can only speak for my perspective. As I did more reading, learned more protocol, etc, I found that people stopped looking at my age and started looking more at what I had to offer. They also started to take me a tad more seriously than they had been when I was simply new and young.

Personally, I think age can matter in some cases. Level of maturity, life experiences, etc all factor into it. I know 30 year olds who act like they are 20 and 20 year olds that act like their 30...all depends on the person :)

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:35:55 PM

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Everyone has to start somewhere.

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RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:39:06 PM

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

I've read a lot of young dominant people say they have a hard time finding a submissive as they are all looking for someone *older* with more experience. Ive had two partners who were much older than me, like over 20 years older, and while it did have its advantages, there was one big disadvantage, the "generation gap". I never realised it until Master who is only about 5 years older than me, but its soo nice having a Master around the same age as me for many reasons, a little example of that is our music tastes and just being able to relate to *our generation* together and it it no way makes him less able to dominate me. When a girl is with an older man, its lovely, there is a sense of fatherly protection in some ways but in other ways it stagnates you and doesnt let you fully live your age, as it is, on a communication level. (Dont know if Im saying that right...but hey).

_____________________________

Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:40:09 PM

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Joined: 3/6/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungWYorksDom

Personaly im 100% Dom, although at 23 ive found that allot of people Dom's and Subs tend to well lets say "Patronise" allot, i take it on the chin with a stiff uper lip and all that lol. I understand that a Dom is supposed to be in a possition to teach their sub and seing somone young it may seem as if they do not understand the situation as well (less experience) and i can understand if in allot of cases that is true, but basicaly id like to know peoples opinions on young doms.
Thanks

Age is not the problem....what is the problem is that a small number of young "Doms" do not respect collared subs/slaves. I, for one, get bombarded from young ones all the time....I would ask here, LEARN TO READ Gentlemen!!!!!!!!!!!

My slave is writing this under my name.......she didn't realize it until she went to view it and saw my picture instead of hers. Pardon her confusion.

< Message edited by SirCumSpank -- 4/13/2006 2:42:07 PM >

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 2:46:32 PM

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I was a young dom once, and threads like this used to piss me off.

They don't piss me off anymore.

I guess that means I'm no longer a young dom.

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 4:27:51 PM

Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

A lot of what you need to do is inner introspection, get to know yourself what you want out of a relationship and how you’ll handle it.

Maybe make friends with other dom/sub couples and observe how their relationships work.

Once you know yourself working/living with a subbie will be easier and more natural.

Good luck, you’ll need it, subbies aren’t like other women you’ve known.

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 4:54:23 PM

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Joined: 10/17/2005
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I prefer young Dominant males because of what was stated above. We just have more in common usually. Plus I'm young and silly I want someone who is the same.

(in reply to cillydom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 8:50:14 PM

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Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
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Being a "young Dom", 24 next week, with 5 years of real time experience, I can really identify with what you're feeling. The patronizing attitudes of the older, more experienced players may get you down at times. Acting like a high-schooler will only lend credence to their false ideas about what young Dominants are all about. I'm proud that you're handling those types of people like the adult that you are.

As jezzabelle said, she wishes she would have found out about this lifestyle at our age. Use that to your highest advantage by educating yourself and doing some deep soul-searching for who you are, and what you want, as early as possible. That education/self awareness will serve you well in the long run, coupled with a good reputation in the community, which will take time for you to build.

I believe finding yourself a Mentor can be a great way to explore. They can act as a sounding boarding for your questions. Finding yourself a sub/slave close to your own age and experience may work well, also. Learning, sharing, and growing together is a great way to bond.

As Celeste said, we badly need an influx of younger folks in this lifestyle. Without new ideas, and ways of implementing those ideas, what we do would whither and die. This, too, shall pass. Whatever you do, try to never lose sight of how you started out, and the mountains you climbed to be your authentic self. One day, we'll be the "older Doms". I just hope we retain the hindsight to greet the "young ones" a bit better than we were greeted.

Good luck in your journey!

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 9:03:46 PM

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Joined: 3/22/2006
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Ok. i admit it. i prefer a more experienced Dom and am very attracted to those that are at least 10 years my senior. However, if i were to meet a younger Dom who knew what he wanted and was established i would get to know him and decide from there. Age is a number yes. For me, it's all about learning and growing from him. An intelligent, creative, playfull, powerful, dominant mind with get my attention even if he is 18.

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/13/2006 9:44:27 PM

Arpig

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From: Increasingly further from reality
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Unless the submissive you have in mind has any opinions regarding the age of the dominant they are looking for, then who gives a damn what anybody else thinks. Its your life, live it for yourself, don't worry what all the assholes out there think, you're the only asshole who's opinion matters in the end.

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RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/14/2006 5:37:21 AM

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Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I've read a lot of young dominant people say they have a hard time finding a submissive as they are all looking for someone *older* with more experience. Ive had two partners who were much older than me, like over 20 years older, and while it did have its advantages, there was one big disadvantage, the "generation gap". I never realised it until Master who is only about 5 years older than me, but its soo nice having a Master around the same age as me for many reasons, a little example of that is our music tastes and just being able to relate to *our generation* together and it it no way makes him less able to dominate me. When a girl is with an older man, its lovely, there is a sense of fatherly protection in some ways but in other ways it stagnates you and doesnt let you fully live your age, as it is, on a communication level. (Dont know if Im saying that right...but hey).

My Master is quite a bit older then me but i don't fell fathery protection. We seem to have a lot in common i know a lot of the same things he does. I think it fosters communication because he can make me think in a different way then i normlly would with people my age. Maybe for some people it is different but it works great for me and Master (the fact he is older than me i mean)

Matt's littleone

(in reply to slavejali)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/14/2006 6:00:21 AM

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Joined: 9/10/2005
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Age is just a number.. and i don't think it should make a difference.. imho it's the way you carry yourself and act. i know some 30 year olds that still act like they are 18 and then i know a few 23 year olds that have much more wisdom and insight than i do. The one thing i feel is important is education. Knowledge is a powerful thing. Good luck to you.

_____________________________

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RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/14/2006 6:29:05 AM

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Joined: 3/28/2006
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Now I would have never guessed Shadow was 24 (well almost *giggle*)!

His posts are geniune, well written, well thought out. Like everyone has said so far, why does age matter? Only thing I can come up with is mutual interests like music, lingo, clothes but our feelings and needs are all the same.

Being with a man quite younger than myself would make a difference for me, but only because of the interests and severe generation gap. I post an age preference on my profile and I do get younger Dom's wanting to talk. I politely decline the invitation.

Maintain your interest in bdsm and the lifestyle and you will find someone and many ppl on the forums willing to get to know and compliment things you have to say. I may be 15 yrs older than Shadow, but I never checked his profile and I find his responses extremely helpful to me many times.

So honor yourself and so will others. Best of Luck!

(in reply to TheShadows)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/14/2006 9:12:28 AM

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Joined: 2/25/2006
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i have the same problem as a younger Dom in all honesty i have pretty much given up looking here due the same response i get if any at all

(in reply to acctonthelook)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/14/2006 3:31:33 PM

Posts: 219
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At 31 (this summer) I'm experiencing similar issues. I find that even the submissive girls in my favourite age range (20 or less) are sometimes even put off by my young age. Not all of them, but some, want someone 35 and up, or 40 and up. Some prefer a 50 year old dominant guy. But of course there are ones who simply want someone a bit older and as long as the guy is mature and physically and emotionally strong and dominant, they're satisfied.

I was about 25 when I really knew my sexual needs (matured late due to a sheltered upbringing and married vanilla young). I've been with my girl now for almost 4 years. Even in a "friend" or "mentor" role, though I feel confident in my dominance and level of experience, I do find some that see my age and dismiss me. It's their loss.

(in reply to optrists)

RE: Young Dom's (whats the consensus) - 4/14/2006 7:46:17 PM

PenelopePitstop

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: YoungWYorksDom

Personaly im 100% Dom, although at 23 ive found that allot of people Dom's and Subs tend to well lets say "Patronise" allot, i take it on the chin with a stiff uper lip and all that lol. I understand that a Dom is supposed to be in a possition to teach their sub and seing somone young it may seem as if they do not understand the situation as well (less experience) and i can understand if in allot of cases that is true, but basicaly id like to know peoples opinions on young doms.
Thanks

My opinion? More please!

75% of the mails I was receiving until I closed my profile here were from guys old enough to be my father. And guess what? Because I don't fancy old men that makes me fake.

Stay around please, you're needed.

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to YoungWYorksDom)

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