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hopelesslyInvo -> RE: Three things... (7/9/2010 9:25:52 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
*Wince*. Yes, I could see why that'd be a worry - I've felt it myself before now. But maybe we should have more faith that our female friends here can spot the ones who are only pretending.
i was in a non-wonderful mood last night, attempts with vanilla go to hell once again /surprise. in all honestly my head being somewhere else made me forget how much faith i do actually have in men; faith that they'll pay no mind to good advice, especially when presented in written format.
quote:
ORIGINAL: SaintAllie
I really appreciate your intelligent thoughtful replies.
Your comment.. "3 things that don't make me feel I've just authored "how to get women to believe you're something you're not for dummies".
That wasn't what the original post asked for..this response in my opinion was lazy on your behalf.
You are so much more thoughtful than this response would suggest.
lazy would suggest many things, but i feel like i've put forth double effort on this one than i usually do; having done the same thing twice for but for only one result. those 3 short lines were also much harder for me to write than the lengthier original.
reason being that i did follow what the original post asked for, and also meticulously asked myself if it worked universally. universal adaptation was one issue i had, the other being what the info would potentially allow. in advising men of 3 things they should be doing; it holds true for twue subs, sincere subs, cheating subs, honest subs, flakey subs, loyal subs, do-me subs, self serving subs, run of the mill subs, exceptional subs, good subs, bad subs, and them's other subs~
all were given advice to what they should be doing if they want to attract and keep a domme, without potentially aiding in their getting away with, or causing trouble because of what i said.
my original post was also only really beneficial for a certain type of sub; expectantly one similar to myself and probably irrelevant to to anyone else; unless of course others wanted to feign what they are. that's why i cut it, but it was assuredly much easier to write~
quote:
ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
I'd love to hear more of your thoughts, Invo, you are usually on the money.
3 strikes and i'm out, you know i won't say no for long.
now i get to hear remarks about how i was stupid for thinking the following was something i shouldn't post~
oh cruel world,
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I. if you're looking for someone because you're sincerely interested and compelled to make them happy, wanting to brighten their life in whatever way you're of; don't wait for them to tell you what they want, or take those words as being the end-all of what will make them happy. search for some means that allows you to realize the truth; that if you're ever going to affect this person's in any substantial and meaningful way, it's going to be because of who you are to them. when you consider what you have to offer someone, realize that if you aren't the best thing you have to give them (which is unfortunately not necessarily what people will appreciate the most), all you're going to give them is shallow disappointment until/unless you better yourself.
also, if they don't appreciate you enough to make you happy, leave them a flower and give someone else the bouquet.
the importance you will play is not what you did for them, it's what you do for them.
if however you don't have any such sincere interests, just keep doing what you do; posting cock shots all day and embarrassing yourself by lying on behalf of the star model of your photo-shoots.
it's easier to prove that you are not my peer with you doing this than it would be if you had any sort of decency.
II. be honest. it is better to withhold the truth until it's ready to come out than it is to mislead. if you lead yourself or someone else towards a wall, you will eventually hit it; it's better to jump through hoops and leap over hurdles than come face to face with a dead end. bear in mind that withholding truth will on many occasions be no different than lying. at the heart of it, lying is deception; where lack of the truth is ignorance. never let the absence of truth create deception or allow the withholding of information to create false implications that they are lead to believe as true.
if they have reason to know something; be prepared to part with the knowledge, or be prepared to part with them. if however it's just in curiosity, no one can fault you for protecting yourself if you feel you need to; tell them when you're comfortable, after you've taken the time to get to know and trust them.
hmm, patience and trust... i remember hearing that might be important once or twice.
in other words... if you're not comfortable with something, instead of lying just be honest about your reluctance to answer and keep a little mystery about yourself; leaving them with things to still learn about you in the future isn't a bad thing.
but don't do shit like lead them to believe you're single; causing them to come down on you 3 months later with demands as to why you didn't tell them you're married, only to reply with "you never asked".
living a lie isn't any less of one than telling it would be. it's only acceptable to hold the truth back as long as they are aware there is something they should know, and that the two of you are not yet at the point that she has reason to know it.
III. be yourself. that doesn't mean if you're trash; be trash - stay trash. it simply means be 'you'; even when growing or improving yourself.
when a person walks into a field of a thousand flowers looking for one, the one they pick is based on it being unique among the other thousand. if they were all the same, the person is likely to search endlessly for the one that was different among them.
being unique isn't about being perfect, it's about being perfect for each other. don't try to be like others, try to make others want to be like you.
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