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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/17/2010 9:57:19 PM

WestBaySlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The other thing, OP, is that you're assuming a m/s or d/s relationship began without any warmer feelings. For most of us, that's not true. We fell in love first and the power dynamic developed right along with that. In other words we can't separate one from the other. They are both integral to the health of the relationship.

This is where I'm at. I can't fall in love with a man who isn't dominant in some sense; I can't serve a man I don't love. The two are integral to each other.

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/18/2010 6:37:47 PM

BayStateMaster

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Joined: 7/18/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

Be true to yourselves and manifest whatever dynamic resonates for both of you.
Ignore all the labels and just share your open hearts.
Too often, the mind and its doubts will mask the heart.

As Plato quoted Socrates, "First know thyself." With such awareness, you truly have something of great value to share with a partner.

There is only one true path -- your own.

Truer words were never spoken. People have the most amazing ability to think themselves out of a what they want. Of course there will always be challenges but sometimes one just needs apply the phrase 'Don't sweat the small stuff. And it's all small stuff.' If it's right then it's right and run with it. With the right attitude on the part those involved most issues can be worked out and dispensed with.

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/18/2010 7:26:48 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Abstracts

So I've been doing some reading around here and one thing in particular caught my eye. There have been quite a few stories of master and slave falling in love with one another and it got me thinking. What does one do at that point? Do they continue with the same relationship dynamic? When I hear the word partner, I think equality. So do you end the master/slave relationship and take on a more balanced relationship dynamic? Or do you continue as you've always been, just with a stronger commitment? And when one does fall in love, how does one keep it a master/slave dynamic? Seems to me that at that point, one should just let it develop naturally. However, if the pair decides to take on a more equalized dynamic, how would they both act on their respective dominant and submissive natures that would most likely still be there?

Abstracts,

Love catapults me into a deeper level of enslavement. My vulnerability intensifies as does the impact he has on me exponentially. It isn't something that happens overnight and is the result of time and experience with one another. The scales do not balance out in my dynamics, if anything they tip further towards his side. The mental and emotional manacles are attached and he seizes greater control. I find this manner of relating to be quite comforting and I'm happiest when my leash is microscopically short. I don't say that in a figurative manner, but reference the strongholds he's developed in my mind and heart.

Love much like slavery is a continuum. It's the byproduct of our relationship and another tool he utilizes at his discretion. He claims ownership of my heart very much like he did when he took me under hand. It's a delicate process that will involve things that bring pain and joy in equal measure, but the goal remains the same. I would say the possibility of equitable relations is not an option. My heart is the last vestige that I hand over and once he latches on the downward spiral commences. I view it as a necessary component for internal bondage and important factor in the dependency and hunger for him that he cultivates within me.

~porcelaine

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/18/2010 7:56:24 PM

Zevar

Posts: 801
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Abstracts

So I've been doing some reading around here and one thing in particular caught my eye. There have been quite a few stories of master and slave falling in love with one another and it got me thinking. What does one do at that point? Do they continue with the same relationship dynamic? When I hear the word partner, I think equality. So do you end the master/slave relationship and take on a more balanced relationship dynamic? Or do you continue as you've always been, just with a stronger commitment? And when one does fall in love, how does one keep it a master/slave dynamic? Seems to me that at that point, one should just let it develop naturally. However, if the pair decides to take on a more equalized dynamic, how would they both act on their respective dominant and submissive natures that would most likely still be there?

The subject of exchanging a bond of love within the dynamics of M/s seems to be one that is commonly viewed from a subjective perspective. With that said do know what I will now say is totally 100% subjective. My personal viewpoint of loving as it is related to the dynamics of M/s indeed brings forth an opinion that is based from my personal experience. Sometime ago I met a woman that has forever changed my opinion regarding the various issues surrounding a bond of love within M/s dynamics.

At first when I began the relationship I had originally thought that my loving her was not anything that I was in the least willing to consider. I had not until her been introduced to my ability of being able to exchange with a woman in a bond of love within the dynamics that are exchange in a M/s relationship. I discovered that the potency that was exchanged between she and I within the M/s dynamic was enhanced in a way that intensified our every exchanged action, one to the other.

What I also discovered was that the bond of love exchanged between she and I fostered possibilities of heightened and deepened expressions in all that were exchanged between she and I. I found myself strengthened to the degree that I had not experienced prior to being with her.

She would oft times remind me of how this intensity that she and I exchanged was increased due to the bond of love that somehow naturally entwined she and I together. I choose to let you know how strong the bond love was between she and I amidst the dynamics of M/s to tell you of the possibilities of the duality of love within M/s dynamics. At least I know it is possible, subjectively speaking that is.

After a period of time the relationship did evolve to a marriage. The dynamic of M/s remained as did the bond of love. However her ability to serve my every need did ensue a shift from how I viewed her. Eventually she was not only my beloved companion, she was also my submissive slave and very best friend. What we shared was uniquely exchanged. I am not in any way advocating that everyone will relate as this within their relationship.

I say this as the dynamics of what began did evolve to become the most satisfying connection until the day of her passing away from a long fought battle with cancer. Our beloved companionship coupled with her ability to serve my needs with a beauty that was astounding, as she would say, was without a doubt intensified due to our mutually shared bond of love and moreover our bond of authentic trust.

< Message edited by Zevar -- 7/18/2010 8:40:45 PM >

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/19/2010 12:31:32 PM

mnottertail

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfAb0gNPy6s

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/19/2010 12:32:48 PM

DarlingSavage

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Oh, Ron! You really know how to get to a girl, don't you?

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/19/2010 1:53:29 PM

mnottertail

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easily amused and easily impressed ones at any rate.

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/19/2010 1:56:02 PM

Jeffff

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Oh ROn, you make me giggle too!

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/19/2010 2:08:29 PM

porcelaine

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A kindler, gentler, Ron...

Nice choice. All we need is a little brutality and the lovefest is complete.

~porcelaine

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/20/2010 3:21:48 AM

kellzbellz

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"The best proof of love is trust" -Joyce Brothers

I'm not in a D/s relationship but it would seem to me that a severe amount of trust would be needed if a D/s relationship is to work (any relationship for that matter). To have that level of trust in someone else, one would have to have some level of love for the other person whether it be a deep friendship or more. And isn't love about giving to another, putting them before yourself whether it be a D/s or vanilla relationship?

-kellzbellz

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/20/2010 5:03:03 AM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Oh ROn, you make me giggle too!

Oh, shut up!

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Strangers have the BEST candy!

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/20/2010 5:04:13 AM

DarlingSavage

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

easily amused and easily impressed ones at any rate.

Oh, shut up!

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/21/2010 11:53:19 AM

favesclava

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it didnt change anything except how we light up when we talk about the other to friends and family.

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/21/2010 2:06:17 PM

frenchdesirebaby

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Joined: 7/20/2010
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Hi there!
As a submissive in D/s owned by Master... W/we share unique relationship. Love to me is key, all D/s are unique and individualized. For me, completion, loving my Master and being loved back. A D/s grows and takes time, T/two minds bonding growing together, respect mutually, a complete circle, whole with E/each O/other. I give my submission as a gift to HIM that i respect, trust and am tightly bonded too. My Master has every part of me and my love.
I wanted to add my comment as when i started searching D/s and self, i realized there are no hard fast rules, each dynamic is different, what YOU may or may not seek is not wrong, it is YOU and there must be a match, a meeting of minds too connect deeply... i hope this makes sense, for me there is no other lifestyle. The vanilla and D/s are a dance and culmination between M and his slave,coming together to create U/us.
I also believe in marrying Master. To me its taking slave in vanilla world, never ever forgetting collared lsave is the deepest intense commitment, marriage a vanilla taking of his property.

Frenchs baby girl

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/25/2010 8:36:31 PM

galatea98

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It destroyed my relationship with my Master. I loved Him but He did not love me. :(

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/30/2010 8:07:43 AM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Abstracts

When I hear the word partner, I think equality. However, if the pair decides to take on a more equalized dynamic, how would they both act on their respective dominant and submissive natures that would most likely still be there?

From the submissive perspective. . . .
These are my opinions and those of my dom.
If in relationship, as we are, D/s is a partnership of equals. I submit and he controls. You cannot have an unequal equation.
The s in D/s is not less than the D.

I know that many submissive's might "feel" lower on the food chain and many slaves announce that they want to be nothing more than the bottom of the food chain, but I that is not what my Sir wants in a relationship. He wants a woman with a brain, thoughts and a mouth and will to respectfully carry on a conversation. He wants my opinions and I do give them. He doesn't want a 20 yr old that has nothing in common with him.

He is naturally dominant in personality and I am naturally submissive. I have learned not to be so shy and speak up, defend myself, which I did not do very well before him.

You assumption that loving or being in love with your partner/other side of the coin, makea a relationship equal is, or some how the dynamic is flawed, is in my opinion, poorly made.

Maybe for some, maybe not for others.

I do care deeply and love my Sir (I believe it is reciprocated) but still that does not change the dynamic. It does not "become vanilla" in some sort of way.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Abstracts
where love is not a requirement for their BDSM relationships.

I think D's and s's requirement for the relationship might be different and thus the meeting of the minds and sharing. If a married man tells a single submissive that love is NOT to be part of the relationship, then she takes a chance in loving and caring for him, when she knows it will not be reciprocated.

< Message edited by RealSub58 -- 7/30/2010 8:19:05 AM >

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/30/2010 8:20:10 AM

RealSub58

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quote:

ORIGINAL: galatea98

It destroyed my relationship with my Master. I loved Him but He did not love me. :(

I am sorry for the loss................. WELCOME to the boards, read and enjoy and learn

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RE: When you fall in love... - 7/30/2010 11:08:03 AM

texangael

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quote:

When I hear the word partner, I think equality.

On what stone tablet is it ordained that "partners" are inherently equal?

If you adjust your perception to allow for unequal partners, the question resolves itself--people meet, they fall in love, they evolve....or not, and ultimately they live.

The only guiding precept is the relationship must always be mutually fulfilling. If that ceases to be, the relationship dies. So long as that maintains, all other questions are moot.

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RE: When you fall in love... - 8/6/2010 2:35:55 AM

femasoslave

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Why is this thread in "Ask A Master" chatroom?? There have been more women and subs answer than Masters

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RE: When you fall in love... - 8/6/2010 8:54:38 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
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Its really the desert when that happens...

Then I can beat her harder...hurt her more and know it does not change a thing...so I become more free....she becomes free...its raw from then on...

A different kinda love...

I think someone wrote a book with that title...check it out...

Good luck...good pic of you two...

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