RE: Would you move/relocate?

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 7/17/2010 7:22:53 AM

blackpearl81

Posts: 506
Joined: 8/30/2005
From: Home of the Yankees
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quote:

ORIGINAL: seekingOwnertoo

quote:

ORIGINAL: blackpearl81

I ask because I've been thinkin about moving.

Specifically, so I can be closer with people I knew before I moved -

I'd have friends that I can hang out with, whatever.

I feel like I accomplished what I set out to do up here, even though my initial reasons for moving were wrong. (It was a woman) If life hands you lemons, make lemonade, right? After we sort of crashed & burned, I focused on myself: went to school, got a degree & some computer certifications, then spent the next several years building my career up.

Soooo,

like your reason for NOT MOVING is exactly what?

And why post a question like this, on "Ask the Mistress" thread?

Seems pretty self explanatory to me.

Good luck ... but i am thinking you should read all of the above ...

although it might not be what you want to see ...

Yeah, that's the question I'm asking myself - whats my reason for not moving, and staying? Fact is, aside from family, I can't really think of any other reason(s), and even the "family" part is kind of stretching it..it's just my aunt, uncle & grandmother that are up here. I'm close with them, but there's things that family can provide that friends can't, and vice versa.

Does it really matter where I posted it? Off topic seems comedic, and I'm tryin to collect serious advice. No biggie though. Besides, in my 5 years of being a member of the site, there's a handful of people whose advice I take seriously - LP, LadyHibiscus, Bella1965 & SweetDommes, to name a few, and I wanted to get their thoughts. Sometimes peoples advice has a tendency to make you think in a different form, and an answer may present itself as a result.

@MercilessMarcy:

Yeah, that's pretty much the cut & dry of it. I've looked on craigslist, but that place is dead. My friend had me send her my resume to her, which she then forwarded onto her boss. He was impressed by it, but they haven't gotten around to filling their IT position - their IT person passed away in a car accident several weeks/a month or so back, and they haven't even cleared her desk/office. They both have my resume though.

I did send my resume to a company close to where my dad lives in PSL, but they said that they couldnt hire me because I wasn't in FL at the time. Which, fits perfectly with that catch-22 I described in a previous post.

< Message edited by blackpearl81 -- 7/17/2010 7:26:36 AM >

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 7/17/2010 7:34:55 AM

CallaFirestormBW

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LdyyR

Those are the words my daughter says most often about the area. And to think she's the one that talked me into moving to NC. Yikes. I guess I'm just to busy cracking myself up to pay the folks much attention. Especially since the locals tend not to get my jokes, that's not much different in Fl though.

Maybe it was the different location (I think some places struggle more with this than others). I'm not familiar with Wilmington, but I know that there weren't any more or fewer sickly-sweet "fake" people in RDU (Raleigh/Durham, NC) than I've met in Anchorage/Eagle River, AK; Knoxville, TN; Atlanta, GA; Oswego, NY; Dedham, MA; Houston, TX; Seattle, WA; Alexandria, VA; Sarasota, FL; Las Cruces, NM; Augusta, GA... (I've lived a LOT of places)...

Sometimes, I really think that it is our own attitude that makes the biggest difference in whether or not we mesh with a community once we move. It's challenging to integrate, and if we're not convinced that we really -want- to be there, even only subconsciously, I think we put out (yes, hippy flako term) "vibes" that attract people who will, at best, reinforce our diffidence, and, at worst, drive us out of the area. I know that the first time we moved to Houston, I -really- didn't want to be here. I resented it the whole time we were living here, and the people I met reinforced that Houston SUCKED!!! When we returned after our year in NM while my companion completed her post-doc, I was better inclined to the city, and found a much improved social scene here, met much more pleasant and compatible people, and am actually planning on staying -- something I would never have considered after our first foray here.

Calla

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 7/18/2010 8:10:52 PM

hereyesruponyou

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You're fairly young and unattached. Why not move? It's not like you have to stay where you move forever either. IF it doesn't work out, then maybe another place will.

In this economy I don't think you can count on getting a job anywhere, unless you're a nurse or one of those other "never have enough" professions. I say look for a job. A company that won't hire you because you aren't in state might not be stable enough for you to count on anyhow. Or might be one of those types where who you know is most important, and since you are shy and not overly social, it probably wouldn't be a good fit anyhow. Think of your job search as a way of letting the universe (or whatever) help you decide. If it's meant to be, then you'll find something that works for you. If it's not you won't. Never hurts to look.

Best of luck

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 7/19/2010 4:01:34 PM

trueshadow

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I would consider it. My parents are both (sadly) gone now. I'd have to find a Domme whom I would live to serve, and who would be sincere about me. And, of course, there are the dogs and cats. They are dependent on me and I just couldn't (wouldn't) leave them!

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 8/15/2010 12:10:26 AM

hotybotum

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I would gladly relocate for the right dominant man and live serving him

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 8/16/2010 11:32:54 AM

Scotty306134

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I'm very shy myself and dont open up to people easily, but if I was near NYC I would be an active member of TES. I joined them while I lived in Pa. They are a group of very nice people interested in the BDSM lifestyle. They have many social functions where it very easy to meet people and make friends. I had a lot of fun with them. Scotty. PS Their website is tes.org

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 8/19/2010 10:49:01 PM

undergroundsea

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FR addressed to OP

I think to live in a place that has greater social promise, or better aligns with one's social and cultural philosophies is a legitimate reason to move. For instance, when the question of where to live arises, it is important to me to live in a place that has a healthy BDSM community, and one that has a progressive culture.

That said, it is not clear whether your current place is bad match for you. It seems you might be caught in a rut that keeps you from meeting people. I deliberately sought to put myself in situations to meet new people when I was trying to expand or change my social situation, and it worked reasonably well.

Cheers,

Sea

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 8/20/2010 6:42:19 AM

Sylverdawn

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I dont think NO is my inital response to relocation of a submissive. It would have to be a extensive process though.. weekend trips, followed by weeklong trips or better.. he would have to be able relocate his job as well. or be able to find a job quickly... and initailly he would have to have his own place... I would say that process should take no less than a year.... and Ive never found a fellow willing to be that patient..

MsB

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RE: Would you move/relocate? - 8/20/2010 8:33:56 AM

DesFIP

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You don't need to quit your job to interview with the other firm. Arrange a Monday interview, take a long weekend, fly home Monday night. If and when you get offered the job, then give two weeks notice and arrange to start work three weeks later which gives you one week to drive back, put your stuff in storage and stay with friends while apartment hunting.

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