Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (Full Version)

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MistranssSadia -> Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/15/2010 10:41:45 AM)

Hello...umm..i dunno if this will be switched over to another section but here's my problem...

I have a sub friend who's very depressed, he's cool and quite strong, he's been through hell in his life and in his country, saw war, suffered the worst from human beings, and his childhood wasn't exactly a disney story but more of a sad tale....

We were in a car during a trip to a neighboring city, for a big party and he had told me that things in his life were not pleasing him, making him feel he accomplished anything other than just existing the same as a cow ina farm for the past couple decades, nothing to show for it and all that.....then a tire blew, we were going directly towards a deep cliff and I can swear he looked relaxed, as if he wanted to really die, his face was like he was happy....

The driver regained control while my friend tried to tell me and the other 2 passengers to jump off the side door to save ourselves, but I was frozen and so were the others, even as he tried to open the door and help us, and we had a big scare, but when we stopped and pulled over and called emergency, he walked right to the edge of the cliff, he looked at the bottom, and he scared me because his eyes, his face, it was as if he was disappointed because he didn't die and almost could swear he was thinking if he could stand there and maybe trip and fall off the edge, so I tried tot alk to him and distract him and well, I am worried he can actually do something as dumb as to pick a fight or race his bike or find some way to go to a limit and get killed, like starting to enter bullfighting fiestas and such.....

He doesn't want to accept it, after I confronted him, but I want to get him to at least talk to a therapist and I don't know how can I break it to him, how can I help him at least agree to one chat to see if it starts something and makes him open up and recover from this depression....

Does anyone have any idea how to deal with this type of people, with a death wish or a suicidal impulse, how to get them to therapy before they actually try soemthing dumb, and worst, succeed?



LadyPact -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/15/2010 11:25:05 AM)

I know you probably feel that you have his best wishes at heart, but it sounds more like you're being a drama queen.

He didn't come and tell you that he wanted to die or that his life wasn't worth living.  All of the stuff that you think he felt was conjured up in your own head.  Even you say here that he's had several profound experiences as a part of his life, so the event probably didn't shake him the way it obviously shook you. 

If you think you should suggest a therapist for his depression, do that.  Then, let it go. 



DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/15/2010 3:00:28 PM)

If you are concerned about him being a danger to himself make sure he knows the lines of communication are open between you and that you care about his well being. I would then leave it at that. You may be assuming alot.



littlewonder -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/15/2010 3:41:54 PM)

Personally it just sounds like an adrenaline junkie. I know tons of people like this who walk to the edge of cliffs, drive fast and even get into accidents on purpose all for the rush. It has nothing to do with a death wish; actually just the opposite. It makes them feel alive because of the natural chemicals rushing through their systems. I'd say your friend enjoys doing these types of things because he feels as if his life is in a rut.

The ones I know who are like this either grow out of it as they mature and settle down with families or they find "safer" forms of adventures to get the rush. I'm guessing your friend will outgrow this.

If you're still concerned though then just tell him about your fears and let it drop.



LPslittleclip -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/15/2010 7:14:51 PM)

i work in a inpatient treatment center and it sounds like he just needs to have a therapist to talk to  that can help him adjust to the normal life after all the chaos he has endured. im slated for my 6th deployment so i can relate to seeing bad stuff. talking helps



DarlingSavage -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/16/2010 1:22:01 AM)

Unless he has told you that he's depressed and that he intends to kill himself, if I were you, I would just express to him your concerns.  Then again, there was a lady down here that killed herself and her daughter.  She was a mayor.  Her daughter had a bright future ahead of her.  No one knows why the mother decided to shoot her daughter in the head and then shoot herself.  The mayor's coworkers said they had a feeling that something was not right, but they had no idea how "not right" they really were.  Unless you talk to this person, you have no idea what's going on.  Then again, if you do talk to them, you may still have no idea what's going on.  Moat suicides don't leave notes.  Sad, but true.
"



sirsholly -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/16/2010 3:46:45 AM)

quote:

he walked right to the edge of the cliff, he looked at the bottom, and he scared me because his eyes, his face, it was as if he was disappointed because he didn't die and almost could swear he was thinking if he could stand there and maybe trip and fall off the edge,
My first thought is an adrenaline rush, but he may have also come very close to having a need for change met in those few seconds. That need, fed by boredom can be stronger than most realize.

He has been through hell and perhaps his "boring" lifestyle now is causing a bit of Situational Depression. Much different from Clinical Depression, Situational Depression does not often result in suicide, although it can turn the corner and become Clinical. If this happens and is driven by a need for change, your bud is in trouble and needs help asap.

If he is an adrenaline addict, this is a cause for therapy. It sounds as if he has had plenty of reasons for  an adrenaline rush in the past. If the brain becomes used to the flow of adrenaline, the lack thereof can send someone into a seemingly catatonic state of depression.



LadyHelleonor -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/18/2010 1:08:58 AM)

I'd advice you to talk to him, but also, get a sense of how things are going on in his life by just paying attention at what others might say about him and his behaviour and just express him your concerns. Maybe asking him to see a therapist can help if you present it to him in a delicate way instead of forcing it onto him.



Termyn8or -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/18/2010 2:26:27 AM)

"he walked right to the edge of the cliff, he looked at the bottom,"

Been there metaphorically. I had the noose, the ladder and everything. I decided not to. Note that I never called anyone or talked to anyone. I decided not to do it on my own and life opened up. Some who lose their lust for life need to look the alternative right in the face.

How to handle this in a DS relationship is really new on me, but I speak from my own experience many years ago. Back then I concluded that I could stand another day, and I think I am glad I did. I think.

Suicidal thoughts do come to me from time to time but if you knew my situation you would agree, that my life has turned to shit. First of all to not be depressed in my situation would be insane, but the thing is your sub is in a relationship that should be fulfilling and satisfying. Why whack yourself under these conditions ?

In my case most of my earning power is gone due to health reasons, now my finances have gone to shit. I am struggling just to keep my house and I don't know where my next sixpack is coming from. It is bad, really.

I would love to just go to sleep right now and never wake up, that would be fine. But there is one problem. My family and friends who have helped me immensely over the years and especially recently. And My Mom is still alive, I can not purposely let her ever see her son die by his own hand, and the same goes for any other reasons. She has done too much for me and if I ever had to go out in a blaze of glory, I would shoot her first so she didn't have to see it.

You understand that you don't just live for yourself, you also live for others, and partly as well, they live for you.

You can check out any time you like, but you can never ever leave.

What is hardest to figure out when trying to help someone like this is the core reason for the fatalisticness. What, do they really think death is better than life ? That must be one hell of alot of pain and I can't think of anything external that could induce that except maybe a terminal intent in the first place.

If that is so, take care dealing with it, it might be easy to push them over the edge, like if you try tough love or something.

One person calls me and says he is ready to do it. First of all you will have a hard time killing yourself dialing a phone. They want help, and don't give me this fucking go to a professional shit, a good friend with a working brain can do alot more. This is no bullshit. If you choose to be that friend :

1. You can always do this tomorrow.
2. Why do you want to do this ?
3. What will it do to those you know and love ?

This approach has only failed me once, and that was with someone who had a terminal disease. Number two is the big one, why ? This is what must be explored fully. You can't get this at a clinic or whatever, you need it alot closer to home. You need to know exactly why, even if it entails admitting very dirty secrets. You tell them "Well if you ar going to die anyway, what do you care ? ". This is how you break down the barrier, to knock down the brick wall.

If you can't find a way that way, get a list of their next of kin, and write it down. Then "What do I tell this person", "What do I tell that person ? " in fact ask them what are you to tell yourself. Remember if they came to you with this, there is a reason. What is that reason ? Why didn't they just ask some asshole walking down the street ? There is only one reason, and that is deep down they want to live. They might not want to live the way they live right now, but then why did they get into a relationship then ? Just to hurt more people ?

But remember the fact is that people have been like this for some tme, the last time I had to use these tactics was well over ten years ago. But the problem now is that the depression is warranted, things really do suck. I might have to include "How the fuck do you get a get out of life free card ? ". Implying that they owe the world to live their life just in case their being helps someone sometime.

I almost shouldn't get so vocal about this, but things really do suck. I have lost almost everything, and this is about the third time. The last two times I really did lose everything. All I had was the clothes on me, nothing else. I came back.

But now coming back is alot harder, and you have to understand that, that there are people who feel inadequate about their position in life, their achievements and so forth. Somethime you focus n that, other times you don't, you take the more emotional angle.

I responded to the OP because I don'r want to banter about with people who have never been through it, so I did a jumpthrough. Perhaps some have, I could be wrong but I wanted to respond in a pure fashion if you can grasp that. This issue is too important to just let the internet decide. And you decide from whom you take advice. As surprising as it may sound, I don't want it to be me.

With one guy I had a line about "Well you could be a crack whore welfare Mother with twelve kids who just moved and is homeless just because she could not find an address at which to get her welfare check, and you have no idea who the kids Daddy is even after 56 visits to the Maury show. What's more you are diabetic, have cancer and fibromyalgia and they still won't approve you for a welfare check, and you are all starving to death.

Try that on for size.

If they make the call and I answer, they will almost always stay alive. And you can't just say this, they must listen. The really hard part is maing sure they do.

Y



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/18/2010 5:05:27 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LPslittleclip

i work in a inpatient treatment center and it sounds like he just needs to have a therapist to talk to  that can help him adjust to the normal life after all the chaos he has endured. im slated for my 6th deployment so i can relate to seeing bad stuff. talking helps
slight hijack

Thank you for serving!

carry on



Dastan -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/19/2010 8:40:38 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

"he walked right to the edge of the cliff, he looked at the bottom,"

Been there metaphorically. I had the noose, the ladder and everything. I decided not to. Note that I never called anyone or talked to anyone. I decided not to do it on my own and life opened up. Some who lose their lust for life need to look the alternative right in the face.

How to handle this in a DS relationship is really new on me, but I speak from my own experience many years ago. Back then I concluded that I could stand another day, and I think I am glad I did. I think.

Suicidal thoughts do come to me from time to time but if you knew my situation you would agree, that my life has turned to shit. First of all to not be depressed in my situation would be insane, but the thing is your sub is in a relationship that should be fulfilling and satisfying. Why whack yourself under these conditions ?

In my case most of my earning power is gone due to health reasons, now my finances have gone to shit. I am struggling just to keep my house and I don't know where my next sixpack is coming from. It is bad, really.

I would love to just go to sleep right now and never wake up, that would be fine. But there is one problem. My family and friends who have helped me immensely over the years and especially recently. And My Mom is still alive, I can not purposely let her ever see her son die by his own hand, and the same goes for any other reasons. She has done too much for me and if I ever had to go out in a blaze of glory, I would shoot her first so she didn't have to see it.

You understand that you don't just live for yourself, you also live for others, and partly as well, they live for you.

You can check out any time you like, but you can never ever leave.

What is hardest to figure out when trying to help someone like this is the core reason for the fatalisticness. What, do they really think death is better than life ? That must be one hell of alot of pain and I can't think of anything external that could induce that except maybe a terminal intent in the first place.

If that is so, take care dealing with it, it might be easy to push them over the edge, like if you try tough love or something.

One person calls me and says he is ready to do it. First of all you will have a hard time killing yourself dialing a phone. They want help, and don't give me this fucking go to a professional shit, a good friend with a working brain can do alot more. This is no bullshit. If you choose to be that friend :

1. You can always do this tomorrow.
2. Why do you want to do this ?
3. What will it do to those you know and love ?

This approach has only failed me once, and that was with someone who had a terminal disease. Number two is the big one, why ? This is what must be explored fully. You can't get this at a clinic or whatever, you need it alot closer to home. You need to know exactly why, even if it entails admitting very dirty secrets. You tell them "Well if you ar going to die anyway, what do you care ? ". This is how you break down the barrier, to knock down the brick wall.

If you can't find a way that way, get a list of their next of kin, and write it down. Then "What do I tell this person", "What do I tell that person ? " in fact ask them what are you to tell yourself. Remember if they came to you with this, there is a reason. What is that reason ? Why didn't they just ask some asshole walking down the street ? There is only one reason, and that is deep down they want to live. They might not want to live the way they live right now, but then why did they get into a relationship then ? Just to hurt more people ?

But remember the fact is that people have been like this for some tme, the last time I had to use these tactics was well over ten years ago. But the problem now is that the depression is warranted, things really do suck. I might have to include "How the fuck do you get a get out of life free card ? ". Implying that they owe the world to live their life just in case their being helps someone sometime.

I almost shouldn't get so vocal about this, but things really do suck. I have lost almost everything, and this is about the third time. The last two times I really did lose everything. All I had was the clothes on me, nothing else. I came back.

But now coming back is alot harder, and you have to understand that, that there are people who feel inadequate about their position in life, their achievements and so forth. Somethime you focus n that, other times you don't, you take the more emotional angle.

I responded to the OP because I don'r want to banter about with people who have never been through it, so I did a jumpthrough. Perhaps some have, I could be wrong but I wanted to respond in a pure fashion if you can grasp that. This issue is too important to just let the internet decide. And you decide from whom you take advice. As surprising as it may sound, I don't want it to be me.

With one guy I had a line about "Well you could be a crack whore welfare Mother with twelve kids who just moved and is homeless just because she could not find an address at which to get her welfare check, and you have no idea who the kids Daddy is even after 56 visits to the Maury show. What's more you are diabetic, have cancer and fibromyalgia and they still won't approve you for a welfare check, and you are all starving to death.

Try that on for size.

If they make the call and I answer, they will almost always stay alive. And you can't just say this, they must listen. The really hard part is maing sure they do.

Y



Mr termyn, I was going to reply with similar advice, but yours is the best advice on this thread so far.

Mistranss Sadia, your friend needs to vent out steam and also to rekindle the fire. I suggest getting him more involved with friends and if my suspicion is correct, make him get involved into something with meaning, charity work or the like, to feel the sense of accomplishment that can give him purpose and direction, and above all, meaning.



Termyn8or -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/19/2010 11:04:05 AM)

Thanls Dast.

Many people I've known have had these bad times. What's important to know is that economics does not apply. When last I contemplated checking out I wasn't in bad shape financially. It was years ago and beforehand I threw my cellphone right through the my bigscreen TV. These things cost money back then.

Someone started a thread "You never know" and it refers to a mayor of a city who shot her daughter and then herself. Why ? Was she that afraid of the upcoming election or something ? That scared of being voted out, to the point of not even wanting to go through it ? Nobody will ever know the reason now and maybe that is another usable point. In other words "If you are going to do it, at least tell me why". If you re in a relationship with the person, it could be useful.

The tricky part is the push. Speaking metaphorically in a way when you see them at the edge of a cliff you try to push them off the edge. You must not push too hard though, just enough to make them push back. Sometimes you wind up with a weeping piece of flesh, actually sobbing, even if for no other reason that they realize that they are going to have to live through whatever.
This is the problem with these situations, in poking and prodding at their psyche, you can have the opposite effect, and actually impel them to really do it. But to do any good you must, to find the real reason behind their unhappiness. Each time my phone rang with this issue, it was a plea for help. When RM hung himself I was the last one to see him alive. He was jovial and out partying with a couple of girls, youngers but I don't think too young. Right here in my living room he said "It's nice to hang around with some people who still have a good outlook on life, who don't yet know that it really sucks", something like that.

I did cast a questioning eye on that statement, but I was in no position to act. He lived about 30 miles away and I didn't even have a car at the time. Actually of all RM was the one who went through with it, he checked out. He was my friend AND coworker. He and I had been a two Man union at work and instituted a few things, among them time and a half for any Saturday regardless of hours worked, and paid through lunch if it was eaten at the shop. If you want to know I'll tell you how we did it but not here in this thread, which I consider sorta important.

But RM had Huntington's and that affects the mind. I forget the word but you generally get it from your Mother, and he told me for a long time that eventually he was going to do it. He said he had watched his Mother get crazy, even not drinking she would drive around, get into wrecks and injure others and simply not give a shit. He told me about the tremors, and that he felt it coming on. The "You can always do it tomorrow" premise only lasted so long. He had a sincere desire not to hurt others, and the way he apparently saw the situation, to him he was doing the right thing by hanging himself in his garage. I was very powerful in mind, but how the hell do you fight that ? I don't know if I should count it as a failure or not, but the RM issue is one of the very few which can evoke emotion in me, as he was my friend and a valuable asset to humanity. Mail me for the (quite interesting) story of RM, we almost both died on the day we met. Ironic ? Absolutely. His story warrants a thread of it's own but I really don't know where to put it.

But back to the OP, be very careful. That person's life may litterally be in your hands. I will not say send them to a shrink because most of them have the scrip pad as their main functioning tool. This is like putting a band aid on a wound, while white hot burning phosphorous burns their flesh under the skin. What causes suicidal tendencies is not a foreclosure, the oil spill in the gulf, the oppression of the people worldwide. It is from within, and to be blunt, it is childish. If you really can get to the bottom of it, know that you will probably know this person better than they know themself.

Please be very careful, and do try. Don't put this person in a rubber room like so many may advise, that is taking the easy way out. You did not come here asking because you forgot the number for 911. I think you really want to help, and help for real. There is more to it than meets the eye and I hope I was helpful.

These are serious issues and they must be dealt with. Something inside, feelings of apathy or inadequecy and so forth but then there is the silver bullet in a way, but it is not the solution, it just helps. Make the person laugh. Even if blonde, tell them a blonde joke, and this one is very appropo :

Blonde comes home unexpectedly to find her olman in their bed fucking another Woman. She pulls the gun out and puts it to her head, and her olman says "Honey don't do it, I am so sorry, I am weak, I still love you but I just couldn't resist this tenderoni". The blonde replies "Fuck you, I am doing it and you are next".

You might get a chuckle out of it, but it does illustrate the point that once you do it you aren't going to do anything, ever, forever.

But family and/or chosen family can do more here than any professional, of that there is no question. When life throws shit like this at me, I think it is my duty to respond, as a human being.

Do mail me about the story of RM, like I said I don't know whether I should count it as a failure. I am a big proponent of euthenasia, but I can't see many instances where it is warranted when one is like in their twenties or thirties. Maybe in the case of cantracting an incurable disease which will result in a slow and painful death, but that was not mentioned.

I have to stop now. My brain is lugging and wants to downshift into second gear. I need to go out in the forum and see what kind of rabblerousing I can do. It is one of my escapes, and these fora and others beat any drug I can find and I have tried a bunch of them. But I'll be baaaack.

T

(this post is not proofed well, sorry)



Rule -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/19/2010 11:11:04 AM)

Aw, he is just doing the sub thing. Let him get himself a good domme and she will give him purpose and direction. It may help him a lot.



LundFamily -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/19/2010 12:30:34 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MistranssSadia

Hello...umm..i dunno if this will be switched over to another section but here's my problem...

I have a sub friend who's very depressed, he's cool and quite strong, he's been through hell in his life and in his country, saw war, suffered the worst from human beings, and his childhood wasn't exactly a disney story but more of a sad tale....

We were in a car during a trip to a neighboring city, for a big party and he had told me that things in his life were not pleasing him, making him feel he accomplished anything other than just existing the same as a cow ina farm for the past couple decades, nothing to show for it and all that.....then a tire blew, we were going directly towards a deep cliff and I can swear he looked relaxed, as if he wanted to really die, his face was like he was happy....

The driver regained control while my friend tried to tell me and the other 2 passengers to jump off the side door to save ourselves, but I was frozen and so were the others, even as he tried to open the door and help us, and we had a big scare, but when we stopped and pulled over and called emergency, he walked right to the edge of the cliff, he looked at the bottom, and he scared me because his eyes, his face, it was as if he was disappointed because he didn't die and almost could swear he was thinking if he could stand there and maybe trip and fall off the edge, so I tried tot alk to him and distract him and well, I am worried he can actually do something as dumb as to pick a fight or race his bike or find some way to go to a limit and get killed, like starting to enter bullfighting fiestas and such.....

He doesn't want to accept it, after I confronted him, but I want to get him to at least talk to a therapist and I don't know how can I break it to him, how can I help him at least agree to one chat to see if it starts something and makes him open up and recover from this depression....

Does anyone have any idea how to deal with this type of people, with a death wish or a suicidal impulse, how to get them to therapy before they actually try soemthing dumb, and worst, succeed?


first step is talking to them and listening to them and try to get him to open up with you and maybe you can break down his walls easier. then try to see if you can get him to see a therapist.

Master has to send me to a mental health hospital when i get that way and they make you see a doc and try to help find whats wrong and even will prescribe anti depressants or whatever is needed to help the mental illness that is making him that way. it helps trust me. if he gets that bad again pin him some how call an ambulance report attempted suicide and get a mental health screener to see him and send him to a mental health hospital. the hospitalizations can last from a few days to weeks depending on the hospital chosen. if this is his first the best is to find a week+ stay at a hospital and have them do full evals and such. hope this helps hearing from both Master and myself based on our experiences.



lobodomslavery -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/19/2010 2:13:04 PM)

Depression is a socially misunderstood illness. No one knows what this guy is feeling. My thoughts are with him
kevin



Termyn8or -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/29/2010 12:14:37 AM)

FR

Nobody seems to understand this issue. If you aren't up to it, don't do it. If you take something like this on, and you fail, you might be next. If they kill themselves no matter how hard you try, YOU will have issues. When RM did it, I can't describe how it felt, and it was actually a lesson for me.

Suicidal tendencies have absolutely nothing to do with BDSM. They are much deeper. The issues can be so varied and complex that perhaps noone ever understands, but you try. If you can understand remember - misery loves company. But that doesn't mean forever. When picking them up from the quicksand, you don't want to fall in. If everyoe falls in everyone dies.

The attitude required is very difficult to explain. You need a deep connection but you have to be able to disconnect. You need a good mind, to be able to think on your feet, and to express that connection, even though if they don't respond and actually do it, you need to be able to look in the mirror and say that you did your best.

If you can't do that and the person is close to you, you might be next.

T



SpiritedRadiance -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/29/2010 12:32:43 AM)

The thing I dont understand is according to your side he did nothing to attempt suicide, He didnt blow out the tire as he was not the driver per your account.

Standing and looking death in the face isnt being suicidal, It might be another form of crazy but it isnt suicidal.

Ive known a lot of people with deep depression and its something ive fought on my own, please remember that not everyone deals with it in the same way. If anyone approached myself or my friends and told us we needed to go to therapy and they were worried wed kill ourselves, wed not only laugh at them but slowly exclude that person out of our group because they obviously dont get us or who we are. Mostly because in 11 years of therapy ive learned nothing that will help with my situation or help me resolve the issues that cause the depression mind you there are 5 types of depression that one can experience. Chemical, situational, seasonal, genetical and trama induced. Ive coped with the situation, Ive moved on from the situation, and the world goes round. My friends have similar experience with therapy and some have been going for 20 plus years with no help to cure the depression. Even more so when you have more then one of the factors that cause it/classify it... some have all 5.

If your worried, just sit with your friend and ask whats going on in his life, Ask him how work is, ask him about normal stressors, If anything seems to great say hey im here if you need to talk and let it drop.

You dont know hes sucidal, for all you know he looked at the edge of the cliff to see a better view of whats out there and that he survived and hes alive....



wittynamehere -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/29/2010 12:43:01 AM)

OP: Sounds like you got all worked up based on how his eyes looked to you? Unless he told you he's going to kill himself, don't worry about it. If he does, then bring him to the ER. Otherwise, if he wants to talk, talk. If he doesn't, don't.

As a friend, if you're concerned about his mood, offer to go with him to the doctor to get some antidepressants or counseling. But don't label him suicidal because you think he looked down a cliff wishing he could fall. :-|



Termyn8or -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (7/29/2010 10:27:21 PM)

"Standing and looking death in the face isnt being suicidal, It might be another form of crazy but it isnt suicidal. "

I am to the point where I don't think anyone is totally sane. It's just the times in which we live. You see, I can see the breakdown coming, but cognitively. Others, I believe see it subliminally.

As such, they will react without the benefit of cognitive thought, and probably blow it again. My cause is to make it better. Ergo the suicidal are of some interst to me because I think a bunch of them have the idea that society is going to hell in a handbasket. Without the red or blue pills maybe we can come up with something at a kitchen table somewhere.

Depressed people are sometimes saner than average, they see the trends in society, they see the impending financial meltdown, they see their future of growing old and sickly. It's been said that even the paranoid do have real enemies.

But the key to survival, in case you want to, is to be ruthless. You have to consider your life more important than that of your neighbor's. You have to consider yourself number one. Even you Momma is not number one. That is how you have to be.

It doesn't matter if you are infected with guilt or borne in strife, it is the attitude that counts. Some of the world's greatest inventors came from the "ghettos". Some of the foremost mathemiticians have never eaten a piece of meat. Those letter behind their names mean nothing to me.

You NEVER respect anyone else as much as you respect yourself. Now get this about that statement, it is not a dictate from me, it is a law of nature. Of human nature.

I remember about the Ten Commandments. It was said they are not the law that Men live by, they are the law by which Men live. I have found this to be true. Not that I adhere to them, or have any belief in that faith, but any faith needs to be based on life, not death. This also applies to eight of the nine charges of Odinism. These laws are not necessarily a decree, but more a discovery.

I have not the faith, but I do recognize wisdom.

In case you care.

T



Aswad -> RE: Suicidal Sub - How to help someone that depressed (8/10/2010 7:26:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistranssSadia

Hello...umm..i dunno if this will be switched over to another section but here's my problem...


Let me finish that phrase for you:

quote:

I am out of my depth here, but these good intentions of mine are hard to resist.


He's in a rut. That's all you know for sure. Nothing in what you said is sufficient to say nay or yay with regard to depression, except that being in a car with three other people does not demonstrate social withdrawal, at least. There's no reason for you to assume anything on the basis of what you have told us, other than that he is not fulfilled in life. Few people accomplish much more than existing, and most who reflect on that do not feel fulfilled. That is something quite different from being depressed.

Cheer him up a bit if you feel like it.

Don't make any commitments you can't fully back.

And don't diagnose him with a serious illness on slim grounds.

That's probably the three things you can do for him, or anyone else, and still be sure you're doing something good for him. Well, that and giving good head, but I take it that would be a bit akward... "Hey, you seem a bit down, so ... <zip>... mmfprife!"

Health,
al-Aswad.



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