RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside of "this bdsm community"?

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 7/25/2010 12:04:12 PM

ranja

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i think it is enormous... i think most people are kinky and most people do not really have any desire to be part of a 'kink community', they are just happy being who they are.

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 7/25/2010 12:58:20 PM

BoiJen

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I wanted to clarify that my post wasn't about "who's better" rather it's about defining "community" in it's most general sense.

Just because someone is kinky doesn't mean they choose to be part of any given group of kinky folks. Not participating or associating with the group means you're not part of it. No matter how minimal that association or involvement is, it's required.

It would be like me saying "I'm part of the boy scouts". I don't participate in any way, shape, or form with the boy scouts. I have no family members or friends who are boy scouts currently. I do not have any connection with the boy scouts. Just because I go camping now and then doesn't mean I'm a boy scout or part of any troupe or community of boy scouts.

boi

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 1:41:51 PM

SlaveSubtoserve

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...interesting thought and actually hopeful given how few within the 'community' that i feel in common with.....my sense is that there are sub females all over the non-community, but as within here not so many Dommes.....there are so many reasons for why this is and so understandable once one goes to a few community events and spends some time on the community web sites!

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 3:40:53 PM

samboct

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Hi Akasha

Well, the subject of sadomasochistic activity in the general population isn't what I'd call rigorously studied. Kinsey's methodology back in the 50s left a lot to be desired when he came up with 22% of males were excited by a sadomasochistic story. A Playboy poll in 1983 also put the level of interest at 1 in 5 IIRC, but that's a somewhat skewed sample in my book. Most recently, the Janus report in 1993 came up with 14% of men and 11% of women had engaged in some sadomasochistic activity. So in terms of your initial estimate, I'd say the online kink community is pretty damn small- I doubt it's 1% of the population overall. (Based on number of users on this site and what I remember from some time on Alt, but this isn't a rigorous number- more of a WAG. Are there evan a million people in these online organizations?)

One way to define the kink community is if you've ever been to a function or to an online site catering to the kink community, that becomes a self selected population, i.e. a kink community. And Jen, I may disagree slightly, but a virtual community is nevertheless, a community. It may be far flung and loosely knit, but I think it still counts. But clearly, most people indulge in kink in private, with no need to discuss anything with other than their partner. It's why I think that BDSM is not wildly different from vanilla- all of the behaviors have vanilla antecedents.

Sam

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 4:10:11 PM

VaguelyCurious

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Pssssst, Sam-you know this thread is two and a half months old, right? It's a necro...

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 5:05:13 PM

samboct

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"It's a necro..."

Geez- that and my sex life.....

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 5:48:47 PM

VaguelyCurious

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quote:

ORIGINAL: samboct

"It's a necro..."

Geez- that and my sex life.....

tmi, man, tmi...

(That sounds like it might violate TOS. I'm pretty sure you can't talk about doing dead people here

)

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 6:30:34 PM

samboct

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On this side of the pond, we might call that getting into the Halloween spirit....or, I think the comment was..

Old Goths never die, they just need less makeup. (not sure who I stole this one from- seems appropriate though)

< Message edited by samboct -- 10/19/2010 6:32:21 PM >

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/19/2010 6:32:12 PM

LadyPact

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Since it's a necro thread, shouldn't that be a Groundhog Day joke?

(OK, that was kind of lame, but have you seen the movie?)

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RE: How big is the BDSM "community" outside o... - 10/20/2010 11:33:41 AM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
You think?? What's the bet that more than a few flames happen over the definition of KINK?

LOL - so we all know that I primarily don't identify as "kinky". The other night, Carol and I had sex for about 5 hours... that's the actual sex part.. not counting all the warmup and later snuggling and cooldown. So I got to thinking, is it really possible to be vanilla and do something interesting for 5 full hours? I mean seriously, sex itself at the purely mechanical level is a few moments. Surely, whatever it is that we did was vastly interesting to us. The appellation "vanilla" just seems like that can't be right.

In reviewing what we actually did, it was pretty clear that an awful lot of people would've called a lot of it kinky for various reasons. I just thought of it as "wild sex". Sure, we used a sleep mask as a blindfold instead a zippered leather hood. I didn't tie her down but she was pinned down pretty definitively for some periods and there was no doubt she was being taken (although again, I didn't really see it that way, I was just being a male doing what comes naturally). There may not have been a dungeon full of equipment, but there was debris of various sorts scattered all over our apartment the next day.

So all this getting to... even in my own head with my own activities, where is the line? But sheez, again I gotta think to myself that the word "vanilla" describes something which doesn't reasonably leave an entire apartment trashed.

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