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RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 10:55:35 AM   
DomYngBlk


Posts: 3316
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		Confess, I love heels on a woman...so I am biased. But my question is.....If they are that bad for a womans feet...why are they the most advertised and shown shoe for women?

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 10:57:47 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobanna

it came down to little issues such as heels, necklaces and silly things that I felt would infringe and take away from my free spirit, which is a part of me I cherish.


This is an important realization for you. Dominants come in many shades of the rainbow. Some are utter control freaks that will alter everything about you if possible. Others prefer to enhance what's already there. I look at the situations mentioned as important indicators. Being a free spirit doesn't prevent you from living your submission to the fullest. But it does require a partner that appreciates that part of you as well.

quote:

The other man I'm conversing with (that has the desire for me to wear high heels) seems to have some other red flag issues that are anthother story all together, probably moral issues.  SIGHS ~~~~~~


Look for the man that's interested in getting to know you, not clarifying his fetishes. You will make compromises on either side, but understand what you need from your partner before you select one. Some women want to be controlled in every sense of the word, others need something in between or less restrictive. Honor yourself and your truth. Always.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Bobanna)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:01:34 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Anybody who puts the fetish before the person he is engaging in is not someone I want to be with.



Ditto. But if you're the kind of girl that doesn't care and you're willing to take the lumps if things go awry, knock yourself out. Just make sure you know where you stand before diving in.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:02:49 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Did i have permanent damage? No. But might someone else? Sure, it's possible.


You may have and not know it. Repetitive injury is a cumulative sort of thing. You could have damaged something in there and not know it for a long long time... nerves are a weird thing. This is especially true if this goes on repeatedly over time. I have carpel tunnel syndrome, and it was infuriated by the bad bondage thing I mentioned. I was diagnosed with it long after that mishap, thankfully I do not need surgery for it, YET. Next time he has you walk like that until you can't walk further, well that maybe the time that you have permanent pain you have to live with forever. You want to take that risk, no skin off my nose... but I just wanted to point out, you are taking that risk. There are no safe ways to do dangerous things, but there are common sense things we can do to mitigate those risks... if someone reads this and doesn't think following a doms orders that may leave them permanently damaged (at least asking questions to medical professionals first), well then I am glad I replied to your post.


quote:

The reality is that i'm no less a physician than any Master of mine is. We both are capable of making informed decisions.


I would just say that I hope people are really careful with who makes those decisions... it works for you, but I would wonder if we have the same definition of what informed means. In this circumstance, informed means he would have taken me to a doctor, had my feet assessed and then asked the doctor what he thought of treating my feet thusly...

quote:

And you know, if i hurt my ankle and had to be on crutches for a month? So be it. For me, i would much rather have the experiences and the challenges in life, than find reasons why i can't do them. But again that's just me, please don't take that to imply anything other than that.


Again, that is the way you live, and it works for you, not everyone can let the decisions of another impact their ability to walk, perhaps forever, because of a broken ankle. My mom is still currently recovering from such an injury, and has been for a year. It is not something to take lightly, especially as we age.

Hell, I broke a toe TWO YEARS ago, and it still pangs me.


< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 7/30/2010 11:04:58 AM >

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:13:03 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I would NEVER demand a woman wear shoes like that, unless she was going to be sitting or laying down.

Number one, if someone belongs to me, her health is my responsibility. It would be irresponsible of me to demand such.

Number two, I totally fucking HATE the look of what it does to the foot. It's just gross. I've seen otherwise beautiful women with ugly shoe deformed feet, because of those shoes, and it is just YUCK.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Bobanna)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:18:39 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomYngBlk

But my question is.....If they are that bad for a womans feet...why are they the most advertised and shown shoe for women?


Probably because most shoe designers and advertisers are men...

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to DomYngBlk)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:37:15 AM   
solestria


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/11/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomYngBlk

Confess, I love heels on a woman...so I am biased. But my question is.....If they are that bad for a womans feet...why are they the most advertised and shown shoe for women?


Have you looked at some of the most advertised items in general?  How many of them are actually healthy?

Women's fashion is not exactly known for being body-friendly, either.

(in reply to DomYngBlk)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:40:07 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Even wearing a good support bra, for breasts larger than a C cup, isn't exactly going to give a person warm fuzzies.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to solestria)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:40:09 AM   
willowspirit


Posts: 164
Joined: 6/20/2005
From: U.S.A.-Minnesota
Status: offline 		Bobanna -- you have been given great advice.
One more thing to note though ---
just because some guy says he's a "Dom" doesn't mean he's a "Dominant"... he may be "domineering-only" without any real caring for you at all. Or some transient "Top" calling himself a Dominant.
Hey, for a temporary fantasy "throw-away subbie" why should he care!
Do you see yourself as a reality or fantasy ?

Now for actual shoe-buying advice:

There is a visual fooling illusion thing you can use.

Buy TALL honkin' platforms under the toe area. The actual heels on those shoes could be six inches high, but if the toes platform is three inches off the floor -- the reality of how truly high the heels are (based on the angle your foot is bending ) -- is only a mere three inches.

So... when you go shopping, hold the shoes in your hand & mentally draw a line from where the toe balls of your foot will be placed in the shoe, straight across to the point on the heel stack. Then see how how high the heels are in the actual, practical, harm-to-your-foot point of view.


(in reply to Bobanna)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:53:37 AM   
DomYngBlk


Posts: 3316
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: solestria

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomYngBlk

Confess, I love heels on a woman...so I am biased. But my question is.....If they are that bad for a womans feet...why are they the most advertised and shown shoe for women?


Have you looked at some of the most advertised items in general?  How many of them are actually healthy?

Women's fashion is not exactly known for being body-friendly, either.



True, but isnt there an innate need to be pleasing to the Male?(Yes Dommes too) Doesn't that drive womens fashions?

(in reply to solestria)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 11:54:48 AM   
DomYngBlk


Posts: 3316
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself


quote:

ORIGINAL: DomYngBlk

But my question is.....If they are that bad for a womans feet...why are they the most advertised and shown shoe for women?


Probably because most shoe designers and advertisers are men...


Hell yes!

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 12:07:35 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

Did i have permanent damage? No. But might someone else? Sure, it's possible.


You may have and not know it. Repetitive injury is a cumulative sort of thing. You could have damaged something in there and not know it for a long long time... nerves are a weird thing. This is especially true if this goes on repeatedly over time. I have carpel tunnel syndrome, and it was infuriated by the bad bondage thing I mentioned. I was diagnosed with it long after that mishap, thankfully I do not need surgery for it, YET. Next time he has you walk like that until you can't walk further, well that maybe the time that you have permanent pain you have to live with forever. You want to take that risk, no skin off my nose... but I just wanted to point out, you are taking that risk. There are no safe ways to do dangerous things, but there are common sense things we can do to mitigate those risks... if someone reads this and doesn't think following a doms orders that may leave them permanently damaged (at least asking questions to medical professionals first), well then I am glad I replied to your post.

i understand your point, and truly respect it - i just want to share some thoughts of my own.

Please let me add, i am a Biologist by degree, and have had many years of training via my yoga therapy work - one of my areas of focus is Yin Yoga, which works with the connective tissues of the body, and is founded in medical study.

The interesting thing about a medical professional's opinion - often it is a matter for them of simply "does it hurt?" and "is it bothering you?" - even with xrays, if a bone isn't clearly broken, so much of the body is about pain tolerance, working with our bodies, and our ability to enable the body to heal itself. So much of the physical therapy that is performed is simply enabling the body to heal for pain management. And yes, i have worked with actual physicians and physical therapists in my yoga therapy practice, this is an informed opinion that i have. Just because someone is a medical professional doesn't necessarily imply he's got the absolute answer - the human body is a complex system, and it just isn't as black or white as that. Pain you live with "forever" isn't always true - i have seen people with chronic injuries that they have had 10+ years - especially back injuries - find pain management and new movement via yoga therapy (i recommend it for both you and your mother, btw).

And yes, it is taking a risk. But so is getting out of bed in the morning, getting in my car, or jogging along a busy street - there is really nothing we truly control in life. The body is a system, it ages, it changes, and we manage it. i can have carpal tunnel from all my typing! i can gain a back injury from sitting in my desk chair for years. The point is the decisions that we make, and working with the results, whatever they may be, as you very aptly point out. i choose more risk. This is simply what works for me.

Also for those that immediately run to say that this is abusive behavior by a Dom, or a sign that he doesn't care, or that he places his kink higher than my welfare - please don't make things so black and white. There's informed decisions, and if i'm in pain, and unable to perform, then he makes his decisions accordingly. It isn't always just "suck it up" for his kink. There is love, and caring involved, even in this sort of dynamic. The primary difference is - who holds the control to make the decisions.



And a bit more shoe advice: i don't necessarily recommend platforms, as walking on a 3" platform prevents you from "feeling" the ground, and also creates a higher risk of ankle injuries if you do fall. i've fallen worse in platforms than any other shoe - just my experience. i recommend start with shorter heels, with good support and cushioning, and an ankle strap - and work your way up.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 12:09:39 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I have zero desire to please a man yet I adore dressing up all sexy like. I do it to please myself.

And, I do remember, quite some time ago, reading a study as to what REALLY drives women's desire to look good, have nice things, and an overwhelming percentage didn't do it for a man/men at all. They did it to impress/outdo other women. We assume most guys will like whatever we wear.

Sorry guys!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DomYngBlk)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 12:53:14 PM   
happylittlepet


Posts: 289
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
You may have and not know it. Repetitive injury is a cumulative sort of thing. You could have damaged something in there and not know it for a long long time... nerves are a weird thing. This is especially true if this goes on repeatedly over time.


It is advisable for those who are in their early twenties to check out if they use their bodies properly and to listen to the appropriate professionals just to prevent long term damage which they (and their Owners/Doms/Masters) would regret later on in life. Of course anyone older would of course benefit too.

X-rays of my neck vertebrae show such bad deterioration that the estimation is that I didn't use my neck properly for 20 years. This can not be reversed. This is in addition to the effect of the body aging at a 'normal' speed over time. And it should be noted, the repetitive motions of manual household chores like vacuuming, washing dishes, ironing, cleaning, lifting too much/wrong way etc. do not help. Heels or being kept in odd positions is not even included here.

The chiropractic care went far beyond relieving the pain, and deep muscle massages actually made me gain some lost height back.




< Message edited by happylittlepet -- 7/30/2010 12:54:34 PM >

_____________________________

There are no rules, there is only compassion.

Simple religion:
There is no need for temples,
No need for complicated philosophies
My brain and my heart are my temples
My philosophy is kindness (DL)

'There's a fire burning in my heart'

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 1:03:13 PM   
DomYngBlk


Posts: 3316
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have zero desire to please a man yet I adore dressing up all sexy like. I do it to please myself.

And, I do remember, quite some time ago, reading a study as to what REALLY drives women's desire to look good, have nice things, and an overwhelming percentage didn't do it for a man/men at all. They did it to impress/outdo other women. We assume most guys will like whatever we wear.

Sorry guys!



But then if you all hate wearing high heels......then why are they worn?

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 1:19:53 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomYngBlk

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

I have zero desire to please a man yet I adore dressing up all sexy like. I do it to please myself.

And, I do remember, quite some time ago, reading a study as to what REALLY drives women's desire to look good, have nice things, and an overwhelming percentage didn't do it for a man/men at all. They did it to impress/outdo other women. We assume most guys will like whatever we wear.

Sorry guys!



But then if you all hate wearing high heels......then why are they worn?


I already answered your question.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DomYngBlk)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 1:25:35 PM   
solestria


Posts: 29
Joined: 4/11/2010
Status: offline
quote:

True, but isnt there an innate need to be pleasing to the Male?(Yes Dommes too) Doesn't that drive womens fashions?


Yes, ALL women want to please The Male (TM) at all times.  Seriously?!

And what's pleasing and fashionable is very much socially constructed.  That construct, and the gender norms involved, drives fashion.

(in reply to DomYngBlk)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 1:58:23 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline 		I would hope that anyone considering this would seek medical information from a licensed professional. As it has been previously mentioned, no one with the proper credentials would give advice on the Internet. It is a liability and there are serious ramifications for doing such. While many allied health programs exist, none are as extensive as what a physician undergoes both in terms of time and depth of materials covered.

One person's experience is merely that. Our bodies have their own nuances. When in doubt ask and remember YMMV.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to solestria)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 2:59:31 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

I would hope that anyone considering this would seek medical information from a licensed professional. As it has been previously mentioned, no one with the proper credentials would give advice on the Internet. It is a liability and there are serious ramifications for doing such. While many allied health programs exist, none are as extensive as what a physician undergoes both in terms of time and depth of materials covered.

One person's experience is merely that. Our bodies have their own nuances. When in doubt ask and remember YMMV.

~porcelaine



Thank you porcelaine, and i agree - i don't claim to be a licensed medical professional, and i encourage anyone with questions or concerns to always get an individual opinion from whichever professional they are most comfortable with for their own individual medical health and condition.

The thoughts and overall viewpoint i share are simply from my experiences, that's all, and aren't intended to be any sort of "medical opinion." i would ask that anyone considering any course of therapy to research it on his/her own and discuss with his/her physician first.

And you are right, if i could go back and edit my last post - which i can't now - i would change from my "opinion" to my "thoughts" - which is a more accurate descriptor.


< Message edited by UniqueRaven -- 7/30/2010 3:14:04 PM >

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Request made for wearing high heels - 7/30/2010 3:11:48 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bobanna

I have talked to several Doms as of late that have made requests for me to wear high heels on a regular basis.   Stelettos to be exact.  (For some reason these guys don't like block or wedge styles)  And preferrably over three inches.  Now I do wear heels now and then, but most are wedge styles as they tend to feel better and more comfortable on my feet, and also heels lower in inches,( one to two inches.)  I was wondering if any other submissives have had this request and have adapted wearing shoes like this to their owners preference. 
The problem I have with it, is that most steletto type heels over 3 inches tend to KILL my feet after wearing them for a while.  So much so that it is all I can think about is how much my feet hurt and then I lose focus upon everything else.  Does any other sub have problems with wearing these types of shoes? 


I wear heels when he requests it. Usually we are staying home.
He likes when I dress for him in stockings and specific heels and then massage him.
Or dressed up for him and tied to the pole in the garage.
I rarely have them on longer than a few hours and not much walking is done in them. 8)
I did make the mistake of taking them off without permission because my feet were screaming. Needless to say, he made sure that the pain from my feet was forgotten due to other soon to be induced pain.
And then there was the time when I ran around Atlantic City with him in high heels. By 2 in the morning the were in my hands and my stockings were shredded. Boardwalks and heels do not go well together.
All in all, I love to dress for him and he rarely makes me endure long hours walking in heels. He's a good guy.


_____________________________



(in reply to Bobanna)
Profile   Post #: 60
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