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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 8:36:50 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

I find it absolutely fucking astonishing that grown adults can be duped by some random asshole misrepresenting who they are online for whatever reason.

I imagine that those who do must get conned or taken advantage of in real life fairly regularly. 




I met a guy on another dating site several years ago and dated him for several months. In the end I found out he was married, he also had a kid, lived in a different part of town that he said and the cherry on top was he also had an entirely different name than the one he told me. Granted initially I didnt ask to see his drivers license or something. I got conned and duped by a major random asshole misrepresenting himself for sure. Do I get taken advantage of in real life fairly regularly? I am not sure I do. I totally felt like a dumb jerk for being duped by this guy and most likely it would not happen again.


That explains your cynical outlook at life.



Actually, I find her posts to be a cut above the rest in the ""positivity" and "kindness to others" categories...



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 8:45:11 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

* Do you have any technical things or verification methods or tricks to find out if your new online aquaintance is real?


It depends on the situation. These days if someone isn't willing to hand out their number (Im talking at least a cell), I lose interest rather quickly.

You can tell a lot about someone in only a couple of conversations if you are asking the right questions.


quote:

* Do you know of any sources on the internet that help you by providing technical help or info or other stuff to find out if you are talking to a real person, not a fake?


No

quote:

* What if you found out (for sure) that your aquaintance is obviously sailing under a false flag? Do you report the profile?



No....



Here is my view that may differ from others. When I have been talking to someone over a long distance it is usually because I am familiar with them. I met my first dom in yahoo political chat. I screen out people from long distances usually, unless they sparked my interest in other ways.

If I were to entertain the idea of having dialog with long distance people from the profile section of this site, I wouldn't invest much into the interaction unless they wanted to meet and were willing to make that happen. It would be extremely casual and a no pressure situation for me. My expectations would be extremely low, and I would be trying to promote a friendship first...


That is my advice

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to JoJohannsson)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 8:51:50 AM   
dovie


Posts: 1211
Status: offline 		Read through all of this and all I want to know is how to prevent someone/anyone from capturing my IP address.

I'm not computer literate in that regard, but I'm a healthy-paranoiac, which works in emergencies!

Grrrrr, I wished my son lived closer--computer geek to the nth degree.

dovie

_____________________________

"Sometimes love is a nice long lick!"

gentle dove with 38's *the kind you shoot with*


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 8:54:49 AM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

  I find it absolutely fucking astonishing that grown adults can be duped by some random asshole misrepresenting who they are online for whatever reason.



Are you saying that Aileen didn't really believe you were "Frank the surveyor" when she met you?

Come on, Shorey.

(in reply to ShoreBound149)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 8:55:20 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		If they live on the other side of the country and you aren't going to go meet them, then what does it matter? You  both get what you want out of an online relationship.

If you are travel enough that you can meet them in a few months, keep the conversations light and friendly until you're heading out that way, and then ask them to meet you for coffee.




_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 8:59:46 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

I find it absolutely fucking astonishing that grown adults can be duped by some random asshole misrepresenting who they are online for whatever reason.

I imagine that those who do must get conned or taken advantage of in real life fairly regularly. 




I met a guy on another dating site several years ago and dated him for several months. In the end I found out he was married, he also had a kid, lived in a different part of town that he said and the cherry on top was he also had an entirely different name than the one he told me. Granted initially I didnt ask to see his drivers license or something. I got conned and duped by a major random asshole misrepresenting himself for sure. Do I get taken advantage of in real life fairly regularly? I am not sure I do. I totally felt like a dumb jerk for being duped by this guy and most likely it would not happen again.


That explains your cynical outlook at life.



Actually, I find her posts to be a cut above the rest in the ""positivity" and "kindness to others" categories...




She fixates on the married man that I bang.   Almost like it is her very own husband.   It takes 2 to tangle.  Some here even want a poly household.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:10:08 AM   
thornhappy


Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DragonNphoenix
Now.. to the real point of the post.. after talking through emails for a bit, I make send me a pic.. like a topless pic with my name on their chest is red, black, blue lipstick. Something like that. Where they cant just download a pic to send. OR, make them use a cam. I ask for legal names (which there are several websites that have search engines for background checks), and ask for a phone number to call them, and a 'friend' that I can talk to about them. Most sub/slaves have either another sub/slave that they confide in or a Mentor that they are working with. If someone isnt willing to give you any of this information... they are a fake. Either they are not ever really intending on joining you or they are not being honest with you on some level.

Hope this helps.
Phoenix

I'm not a fake, and I would never do this stuff right off the bat, and wouldn't do any of those types of photos or cam.

ETA:  You didn't specify any timing in the OP, so toodle on with that bad attitude.


< Message edited by thornhappy -- 8/1/2010 9:17:16 AM >

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:12:33 AM   
ShoreBound149


Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

I find it absolutely fucking astonishing that grown adults can be duped by some random asshole misrepresenting who they are online for whatever reason.



Are you saying that Aileen didn't really believe you were "Frank the surveyor" when she met you?

Come on, Shorey.


You are cute.  Protecting personal identifying information until you validate the true intentions of the person you meet from a freak show web site is prudent.  Badly intentioned people can easily find you with amazingly few bits of information and fuck with your life. 

I did wait until my trust meter was at a level that was comfortable for me before I shared my real name and occupation with her due to a bad experience with a psyhco chick in the past.

I'm hungry.  I'll be over in 35 miutes for lunch. 



_____________________________

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Oscar Gamble

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:18:33 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

She fixates on the married man that I bang.   Almost like it is her very own husband.   It takes 2 to tangle.  Some here even want a poly household.


I do not know why you are insulting her, believe it or not, hers is not an unusual story. It has happened to women that I know and care for and are bright.

Now, perhaps you do not know much about how married men work, but encountering my fair share that misrepresented themselves, they can be pretty damn crafty. Some dig getting a single woman all in love with them because they have extremely weak ego structures. Having encountered so many of them I have a well built red flag system in place...and I designed it using my friend's experiences..


Now, for some reason, you have went after heartcream in a very personal way. Perhaps you are unaware, but the posting guidelines are being enforced when it comes to personal attacks... your posts to her border on a personal attack, and they are definitely snarky

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:20:59 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I make My life really simple to begin with.  If I'm dealing with anybody who lives too far away to meet in person, unless they are a person I enjoy from the forums, I simply block them.  I really don't have interest in people who aren't geographically located somewhere close to Me. 

As for that bull about writing something on My chest to prove who I am, the first person who suggested that to Me would be told to shove it.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ShoreBound149)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:22:34 AM   
ShoreBound149


Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

I find it absolutely fucking astonishing that grown adults can be duped by some random asshole misrepresenting who they are online for whatever reason.



Are you saying that Aileen didn't really believe you were "Frank the surveyor" when she met you?

Come on, Shorey.


It has been my experience that it is frighteningly easy to gain the trust of a submissive who has the craving to be dominated.  Even with her experience, she ended up in a position that if I was a bad intentioned person,  no one would have been able to find me.....or her.

_____________________________

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Oscar Gamble

(in reply to marie2)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:27:08 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

quote:

ORIGINAL: marie2


quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

I find it absolutely fucking astonishing that grown adults can be duped by some random asshole misrepresenting who they are online for whatever reason.



Are you saying that Aileen didn't really believe you were "Frank the surveyor" when she met you?

Come on, Shorey.


You are cute.  Protecting personal identifying information until you validate the true intentions of the person you meet from a freak show web site is prudent.  Badly intentioned people can easily find you with amazingly few bits of information and fuck with your life. 

I did wait until my trust meter was at a level that was comfortable for me before I shared my real name and occupation with her due to a bad experience with a psyhco chick in the past.

I'm hungry.  I'll be over in 35 miutes for lunch. 




I absolutely did believe him when he told me that early in our conversations. The difference is...every other piece of info about his life was accurate and he wasn't doing the tell tale red flag scamming things. We were in the talking stage and he represented himself to me as he is. When I found out, by way of him telling me, that he had given me a false name and occupation, it never entered my mind to walk because everything else between us was on the up and up. I completely understood why he did what he did.

_____________________________



(in reply to ShoreBound149)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:28:29 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dovie
Read through all of this and all I want to know is how to prevent someone/anyone from capturing my IP address.
dovie

No one that you communicate with via collarme mail has access to your IP address (however the mod's do)
In using another source, such as hotmail or yahoo mail, the person receiving your mail need only right click and "view source" to obtain the IP. There is no way I know of to block that from happening, but rest assured, it only provides the possible city your server is located in, not your actual address.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to dovie)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:30:01 AM   
Musicmystery


Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

It has been my experience that it is frighteningly easy to gain the trust of a submissive who has the craving to be dominated. Even with her experience, she ended up in a position that if I was a bad intentioned person, no one would have been able to find me.....or her.


I agree. I've actually gotten together for coffee, a walk, a long talk, and a little light taste with local girls curious about slavery. I'd rather they got a light taste and an overview of what it involves and what could happen than they end up tied to a table and whipped raw for three hours (as happened to one girl).

Armed with a little knowledge, they can better decide whether they want to pursue their search--and do so more safely.

(in reply to ShoreBound149)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:32:30 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

She fixates on the married man that I bang.   Almost like it is her very own husband.   It takes 2 to tangle.  Some here even want a poly household.


I do not know why you are insulting her, believe it or not, hers is not an unusual story. It has happened to women that I know and care for and are bright.

Now, perhaps you do not know much about how married men work, but encountering my fair share that misrepresented themselves, they can be pretty damn crafty. Some dig getting a single woman all in love with them because they have extremely weak ego structures. Having encountered so many of them I have a well built red flag system in place...and I designed it using my friend's experiences..


Now, for some reason, you have went after heartcream in a very personal way. Perhaps you are unaware, but the posting guidelines are being enforced when it comes to personal attacks... your posts to her border on a personal attack, and they are definitely snarky


So you expect fine upstanding people on the Internet?

The Internet is likely the trashiest place to meet dates.

If you want a god fearing man- maybe a church would be better then a chat room.



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:36:38 AM   
PeanutTigerinBox


Posts: 1624
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

My advice is to jump up and down.


I actually can only agree to that...that way you know he doesn't hide the fact to be in a wheelchair (i don't have issues with disabilities,but do so with omitting them and missrepresenting themselves).

Sending naked pics is as much a red flagg to me as someone naively thinking they can demand that straightaway when using webcam. Not gonna happen.

I also wouldnt give out a friends number,if he is worthy enough to potentially meet,he can have mine,no need to hassle friends with a guy whom i met online...



_____________________________

RIP 08/09/07

aka Phoenixpower

one of my favourite songs :o) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_CuY4nMu8c&feature=related

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:39:32 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

So you expect fine upstanding people on the Internet?

The Internet is likely the trashiest place to meet dates.

If you want a god fearing man- maybe a church would be better then a chat room.


This is why you come off as needing medication... did she say she wanted a "god fearing" man in her post? (by the way, many of the married men that approached me ended up being like church goers, which is why Christians are on the bottom of my list for dates).

I have met really nice people from the interwebs. I expect I will meet more. My last two long term relationships started via the internet. Now perhaps you attract trashy people, but that is not everyone. In fact heartcream took responsibility for her bad choices. She did not project that failing on "trashy internet people". She learned better, and she has stated she will now do better...

So keep bashing away, hunky, you only make yourself look bad

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:42:34 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
So you expect fine upstanding people on the Internet?
The Internet is likely the trashiest place to meet dates.
If you want a god fearing man- maybe a church would be better then a chat room.

Who is the cynical one?


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:43:48 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

So you expect fine upstanding people on the Internet?

The Internet is likely the trashiest place to meet dates.

If you want a god fearing man- maybe a church would be better then a chat room.


This is why you come off as needing medication... did she say she wanted a "god fearing" man in her post? (by the way, many of the married men that approached me ended up being like church goers, which is why Christians are on the bottom of my list for dates).

I have met really nice people from the interwebs. I expect I will meet more. My last two long term relationships started via the internet. Now perhaps you attract trashy people, but that is not everyone. In fact heartcream took responsibility for her bad choices. She did not project that failing on "trashy internet people". She learned better, and she has stated she will now do better...

So keep bashing away, hunky, you only make yourself look bad



Then you forgot the circumcision thread.

So you expect to meet fine quality men online?

Wow.    They sure do dream in Calif..


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 9:57:26 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy
So you expect fine upstanding people on the Internet?
The Internet is likely the trashiest place to meet dates.
If you want a god fearing man- maybe a church would be better then a chat room.

Who is the cynical one?



anyone over 30.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 60
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