RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not real

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RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:07:21 AM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
As for that bull about writing something on My chest to prove who I am, the first person who suggested that to Me would be told to shove it.

I love that about You. You're right up front.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 81

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:14:11 AM

JoJohannsson

Posts: 30
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
I can generally spot a fake easily. I'm assuming that they don't troll the message forums, so here are some of the telltale signs:

A pic of a very attractive woman, posed. Especially if it's revealing.
Mentioning her name in her profile, especially containing the phrase "by name".
Equating WIITWD with kinky sex.
Having a weight half what it should be, due to confusing lbs and kg.
Horrible spelling and grammar. Frequently weird blathering - one had a list of all dishes she could cook.
Mention of getting trained at some slave training institute. One claimed to have two years of training at one!
Stories of a previous Master killed in some way. I suspect that's to justify being stranded in a foreign country and needing relo money.
Weird, sappy language about finding someone who will love her always.
Lack of hard limits.
Nonexistent or very loose age limits for her match.
A profile with a single pic, no profile words.

Thank you for that list. I guess it is more or less complete. Some of the lines made me laugh as I find them far too often in profiles now. But most of it refers to the profile. I was rather thinking of those where the profile itself was not a tell-tale one (I get the impression that some fakes/scammers now copy profiles from real people to look less fake-like).

Bad English doesn't always have to be a sign of fakeness, though. I guess there are many people on CM whose native language is NOT English. Some are genuine even though. ;-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
Anyone who contacts me directly who I do not know from the message boards.

Hmmm. This means I probably was a fake until shortly ago when I decided to become an ex-lurker here in the forums. :-P

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
That said, the real people I know would never send me a topless pic or their full legal name until they know me VERY well.

I guess this is a question of generation. Not generation of the pics, a generation of you, me, etc.
I get the impression that many young people give away pretty "risky" pics freely. Think Facebook, or Web 2.0 in general.

Something that just came to my mind regarding the profiles. I more or less avoid the very new profiles now. If a profile wasn't active for at least a couple of months, I consider the chance of it being run by a scammer or faker too high. Sad for the real newbies, though.

Thanks for the substantial input, Steven.

And by the way: great signature :-D

Cheers, Jo

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 82

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:16:32 AM

JoJohannsson

Posts: 30
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

My advice is to jump up and down.

if on the 3rd jump you are able to cum- then the profile is real. if not- then it is typical internet noise. yehaa.

Can I have some of the stuff you just had? ;-)

Jo

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 83

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:19:38 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoJohannsson

Thank you for that list. I guess it is more or less complete. Some of the lines made me laugh as I find them far too often in profiles now.

Please note that I don't find ALL of those in a single profile. If I find more than one or two, it's a giveaway.

quote:

If a profile wasn't active for at least a couple of months, I consider the chance of it being run by a scammer or faker too high. Sad for the real newbies, though.

I advise against that. There are too many men for too few women, and if you hesitate, a woman will likely get snatched up or jaded.

quote:

And by the way: great signature :-D

Thanks!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to JoJohannsson)

Post #: 84

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:24:43 AM

JoJohannsson

Posts: 30
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dovie
Read through all of this and all I want to know is how to prevent someone/anyone from capturing my IP address.

You can "simply" fake your own address ;-)

Honestly. This is not really simple for the non-techie. But there are anonymizer services online. These are proxies you can use to "tunnel" all your communication through so the websites' servers will only see that anonymizer's IP address.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anonymizer
http://anonymouse.org/

In the case of the emails the IP address of the sender was recorded by the Email Web Service's server and added to the mail exactly to allow to trace the real sender in case of need (legalese blurb), I guess.

Cheers, Jo

(in reply to dovie)

Post #: 85

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:28:38 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

I think the biggest give away for me when I had an active profile was that the person on the other end of the email just didn't "talk" normally.
There was always a strangeness and a stiffness to their words as if they were typing from a script. I can't think of any other way to describe it.
Doesn't necessarily mean they were fake, but it did mean that they weren't a match for me.

_____________________________

(in reply to JoJohannsson)

Post #: 86

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:29:34 AM

JoJohannsson

Posts: 30
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If they live on the other side of the country and you aren't going to go meet them, then what does it matter? You both get what you want out of an online relationship.

If you are travel enough that you can meet them in a few months, keep the conversations light and friendly until you're heading out that way, and then ask them to meet you for coffee.

I don't agree: to me it does matter if I waste my time chatting to a faker for months until months later when "we" decide to meet I find out I have been stood up, possibly sitting in a bistro in a different town waiting for a non-existent person to turn up.

My OP's aim was to avoid precisely this situation. I prefer to find out fakes as early as possible. But I would hate to weed out too many "false positives", too. And as there are not exactly many subs on CM who live close to me, a longer period of electronically-aided communication is the normal case before a meeting is a sensible idea.

Cheers, Jo

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 87

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:40:32 AM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoJohannsson

My OP's aim was to avoid precisely this situation. I prefer to find out fakes as early as possible. But I would hate to weed out too many "false positives", too. And as there are not exactly many subs on CM who live close to me, a longer period of electronically-aided communication is the normal case before a meeting is a sensible idea.

Maybe they just weren't that into you? How does that make them "fake"?

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to JoJohannsson)

Post #: 88

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:41:09 AM

JoJohannsson

Posts: 30
Joined: 12/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
I think the biggest give away for me when I had an active profile was that the person on the other end of the email just didn't "talk" normally.
There was always a strangeness and a stiffness to their words as if they were typing from a script. I can't think of any other way to describe it.
Doesn't necessarily mean they were fake, but it did mean that they weren't a match for me.

I believe this doesn't have to mean anything unless, of course, the person claims to be a native speaker of the language.
But even then I know some people in my country who were born here but are no good writing stuff or came here a long time ago, even speak the language pretty well, but their writing looks like they only learned the language a couple of weeks ago.

Cheers, Jo

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 89

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:49:06 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoJohannsson

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968
I think the biggest give away for me when I had an active profile was that the person on the other end of the email just didn't "talk" normally.
There was always a strangeness and a stiffness to their words as if they were typing from a script. I can't think of any other way to describe it.
Doesn't necessarily mean they were fake, but it did mean that they weren't a match for me.

I believe this doesn't have to mean anything unless, of course, the person claims to be a native speaker of the language.
But even then I know some people in my country who were born here but are no good writing stuff or came here a long time ago, even speak the language pretty well, but their writing looks like they only learned the language a couple of weeks ago.

Cheers, Jo

I literally spoke to hundreds when I was searching. This was my first filter and it never failed me. Everyone I set out to meet, I met and they were pretty close to what they portrayed online.

edited to add...Shore is the perfect example. How he writes here is extremely accurate to how he is in real life.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 8/1/2010 11:51:09 AM >

_____________________________

(in reply to JoJohannsson)

Post #: 90

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 11:52:08 AM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: JoJohannsson

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If they live on the other side of the country and you aren't going to go meet them, then what does it matter? You both get what you want out of an online relationship.

If you are travel enough that you can meet them in a few months, keep the conversations light and friendly until you're heading out that way, and then ask them to meet you for coffee.

I don't agree: to me it does matter if I waste my time chatting to a faker for months until months later when "we" decide to meet I find out I have been stood up, possibly sitting in a bistro in a different town waiting for a non-existent person to turn up.

My OP's aim was to avoid precisely this situation. I prefer to find out fakes as early as possible. But I would hate to weed out too many "false positives", too. And as there are not exactly many subs on CM who live close to me, a longer period of electronically-aided communication is the normal case before a meeting is a sensible idea.

Cheers, Jo

There's no shortcut, you have to go through the process of getting to know a person. If they want to talk for months before meeting, and you don't want to wait that long, then you're not compatible. Move on to someone who is comfortable moving at the same pace as yourself. And try to talk to the person on the phone, you can get a good sense of whether or not they are serious about meeting.

(in reply to JoJohannsson)

Post #: 91

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:02:15 PM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

I like to avoid problems with fakes, by using my Dominate's Intuition © In fact, it has led me to the one that I belive will be mine. Her name is Loo, she has lived her entire life in Ho Che Minh City, her interests include farming, long walks, astrology, and placing herself in eternal servitude to me.

Isn't she cute?

As Frank said, I find it dismaying how many of you are so gullible.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to marie2)

Post #: 92

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:05:43 PM

FetishMasterMax

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/19/2010
Status: offline

It take about three rcvd. messages to tell for sure. If we are still asking questions of each other after that, it may be a real deal, however if by the second or third rcvd. message they have said; "I want to be owned by you, or you are the one that I have been looking for." Pay careful attention to the next following rcvd. message, as it will say something like; "Send me gas money and I will be there to be with you forever and be everything you ever wanted." Funny thing is that at this stage of the communications process, they know almost nothing about you yet are ready to jump at the chance to uproot themselves. I at this point usually offer to come visit them and bring them back with me. Partially because, secretly I am still hoping that they are real and that I have not waisted this time and feelings. They so far have found a reason that what I suggested will not work for them and I am supposed to send money. The money is always supposed to be via a wire service so that it could be picked up anywhere in or maybe out of the country. While I am hesitant to provide personal info. such as physical address or telephone numbers early in an e-mail relationship, I do tell facts about my life, they normally have not done this. That is another red flag. At times I discover paragraphs or sentance strings that are identical to another username. Thank you for reading this. Take care good people. Sincerely FetishMasterMax.

(in reply to JoJohannsson)

Post #: 93

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:11:29 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Good lord... it really doesn't have to be so friggin complicated! lol

Typically there are two things that people who are not on the up and up want. Kinky sexual things and money. You don't give them either and believe me they aren't going to waste too much of your time. You get too involved in a matter of that time and the problem isn't them!

I cannot tell you how many people I have talked to that were bent out of shape because someone wasted their time after talking for months. I asked them what they talked about. They always gave up something pretty quickly and the person knew they had some game playing time until they were called on that first meeting. I mean, I have never had a time waster in these area's talk to me for months! lol I don't give it up and they go away. These are just some of the the risks you take in life and if it is too much a risk for you... don't do it or balance it out. Whatever you do, don't just blame the other guy.

It isn't them... it is you. Come at this from a fear base and you will always be in a fear based position. What makes you so friggin vulnerable? Them or you?

Even if you can find they are honest about where they are and they take a picture or even meet you somewhere... doesn't mean they are always going to be real with you. We all can be lied to and we get that flagometer working for us and still there is a chance we will be disappointed. I would suggest that whiny bitches who can't take the challenges... either not take them or buck up and deal. It really doesn't have to be all that dramatic or traumatic.

I've been lied to, been cheated on and played at different times in my life and believe me the online game isn't all that bad when compared to what a decent liar in real life can do. You can't compare the two in my opinion. You don't let people touch your life until you are assured of who they are and what place they will have in your life. Even then things might not work out. You deal with it or don't. Don't invest your heart or self too readily.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Post #: 94

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:25:14 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

But Lockit, wouldn't you agree that sometimes people like to make it more difficult because it goes along with their thinking that everything about this must be "different" or "special"?

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 95

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 12:27:39 PM

marie2

Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Come at this from a fear base and you will always be in a fear based position. What makes you so friggin vulnerable? Them or you?

Nail on the head.

quote:

Even if you can find they are honest about where they are and they take a picture or even meet you somewhere... doesn't mean they are always going to be real with you.

Nail on the head II.

Sometimes we don't know the person we've been sleeping next to for 20 yrs. Security is an illusion, and trust is a mindset that can change. Anyone at any time can turn into a psycho or a liar under a given set of circumstances.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 96

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:00:34 PM

popeye1250

Posts: 18104
Joined: 1/27/2006
From: New Hampshire
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Even meeting someone in real time does not necessarily mean they are on the up and up. It takes month to know someone and to get a picture of what is going on in his/her life. Sometimes you simply have to start out with best intentions and take a walk faith that they are who they say they are (I sound like Dennis Green), sometimes it's all good, sometimes not so much.

This. Even on vanilla sites this happens. I have a friend who was newly divorced and she met this guy who said he was surgeon. Everything seemed great for a few months and then she found out his entire life was a very well constructed lie.

This woman has an MBA and usually makes good decisions but in this case, yeesh, she was pretty messed up for a while after.

It astonishes me the lengths that someone will go to to fabricate a life.

Sheesh, why would any woman want to become involved with a surgeon? They go to bed at 8 pm, wake up at 0400, breakfast at 0500 and by 0700 they're hacking some guy's leg off!

Oh! And another thing about the tv's playing "girl", a lot of them for some reason choose the names, "Tiffany" or "Stephanie." That's a big red flag!
They must have a hundred of their own sites dedicated to that type of play, I don't know why they choose this site to come into to try to fool
the male members in here into thinking that they are,....."female."
How "thrilling" can it be anyway trying to fool a stranger on the internet into thinking you're a "female" when you're not?
Those people's whole lives must be a lie.

< Message edited by popeye1250 -- 8/1/2010 1:06:29 PM >

_____________________________

"But Your Honor, this is not a Jury of my Peers, these people are all decent, honest, law-abiding citizens!"

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 97

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:01:53 PM

DragonNphoenix

Posts: 617
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

Tis Dragon again.

Let’s see...... Where to begin? Hmm...

I have suggested to collarme to make it a pay site FREQUENTLY just for that reason and YES I would PONY up for it unlike you obviously!

Our dealings. We have never had one legitamate person not do things we asked for proof. Again after some time. Neither Phoenix nor I said it was after two emails for crying out loud!!! Also there has been reciprocation on our part to ease the mind of the other as well after all we are all human and as such have feeling and emotions even on the other end of the internet at the opposite computer(DarkSteven) so your scything taunts were not warranted thank you. Again.. Not always do we ask all of the items listed by Phoenix and not in a short time frame. Failure on your part to properly read does not make a mistake or emergency on my part!!!

To the gentleman that posted the list of possibilities including asking for money and countering with I will come pick you up. Cheers and though again some of those things do not make a fake alone many combinations of any and certainly ALL of them would be a sure fire fakes flag!!!
Poor grammar or spelling doesn’t make a fake either. If they are from another country originally, likely having a DIFFERENT native language other than American (We speak American in the states English is British. We are FAR removed from English I know my brother in Law is From England) thus mistakes in grammar, punctuation inflection and more are common when taking the thoughts and typing them into a secondary language! Americans do it all the time with a second language translation UNLESS they are absolutely fluent in proper Etiquette and dialects of said second language. I speak a bit of Gaelic so "Pohg mah Thoin"

I like collarme just fine By the way. I do not like some of its asinine subscribers who think it is absolutely fine to assume things, use erratic conjecture such as "If you don’t like the site feel free to leave" on a post about something not dealing with collarme directly or the persons likes or dislikes of the site. To you I say.. If you don’t like America.. Change it or lose it, or get the FUCK out! Feel good idiot?

However I see I managed to spark (other than some attacks on me) more discussion on what the original poster was asking about Thus my post did exactly what I intended for it to do! Cheers to those who brought Ideas to them!

Be Well.
Dragon.

"Nothing to see here keep moving folks!"

_____________________________

**Pain is just pleasure with a twist**

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 98

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:15:02 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

LOL... so scammer's and fakes wouldn't pay to scam and fake their way to bigger things? Even scammers, fakes and liars must invest a lil something. Sure, some of the numbers might go down, but there shouldn't be any false assurances or safe feelings that we have been protected because the site charges to join. lol

I'm an adult, I can fend for myself and I don't need to be charged something so someone else can better my chances of meeting less bad guys. That would cut into my Star Bucks money and I still wouldn't be any safer. I'll sip my Star Bucks and take my chances. lol

PS... I love how everyone knows just how to run this site and yet, they have no site and no intentions of starting one. Kind of like someone never being a parent and telling parents how to parent. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to DragonNphoenix)

Post #: 99

RE: How do YOU find out your online aquaintance is not ... - 8/1/2010 1:18:22 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

But Lockit, wouldn't you agree that sometimes people like to make it more difficult because it goes along with their thinking that everything about this must be "different" or "special"?

But.. but... we are special!

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 100

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