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lalleee -> Online hook up (8/11/2010 9:20:08 AM)

I'm really new to online dating and recently, I've been chatting with someone who's into the same things in bed but I find him really dumb and dull when chatting.
Do I just meet him for one night? Or don't bother if I don't enjoy talking to him?
What would you do?



thishereboi -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 9:24:24 AM)

I wouldn't go there. Sex is great, but if I can't have a conversation before and after, what's the point?



poise -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 9:26:57 AM)

I can have great sex with a vibrator, but it cant stimulate me between the ears.
I need both. Im greedy like that.[:)]



Bobanna -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 9:32:02 AM)

Well the best thing you can ask yourself is:  How desperate am I?
  And since you had to come here to ask ...might as well give him a call and just get it over with.



DaddyDomP -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 9:36:09 AM)

I feel sex is more cerebral then physical. The best experiences I have ever had was when I was/am connected mentally to someone. Another point, surely there is someone else out there with the same interests in bed. I find it hard to believe this one guy is the only one. Take a little time and find someone better suited. Just My opinion.



domiguy -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 9:40:55 AM)

That's the problem with living in Korea....All of the Korean guys. They are such a drag.



MadameMarque -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 10:20:47 AM)

Two things I'd suggest:

You've already indicated you've become frustrated and dissatisfied with guys with whom you don't click, and with one nighters. If you want more than drunken, high one-nighters that you barely remember, I would leave that whole story out and focus on what you do want and about you.

Secondly - but it should probably be first - Safety. Treat the first meeting like the person might be a psycho killer. Treat the first time you're alone with him the same way. (Alone isn't just behind closed doors - getting into a car together alone, walking some place secluded or deserted alone, etc.) Meet in a public place where there are going to be people. If possible, meet some place where someone you know will be able to see you. Have your own transportation back and forth. Don't get high or drunk. Get a photo of his face from him online, and if it doesn't look like him when you meet, don't even introduce yourself, just keep walking. Make sure a friend has some info that can be traced about him, just in case it's necessary, - a copy of the photo, where you're meeting, a license plate, his contact info, where he works, whatever, and knows about your plans to meet. If there were trouble, just being able to tell him that somebody has info about him and knows you're with him now, could make him think twice. Have a safe call arrangement with a friend - if you don't know about those, just ask. Even if you insist upon a one-nighter, don't go straight from the first meeting place to being alone with him. Make the first meeting brief and public, like just for coffee or a snack. If you really want to get together that same night/day, agree to meet back up in a couple of hours. You'll have time to have any second thoughts. If he's up to bad things, he'll probably be discouraged from meeting back up. It'll give you time to set up a safe call.


But you don't want a one-nighter, anyway. The least you're looking for is a hot play partner who's good company, someone you'd look forward to seeing again, and who feels the same way about you.



lally2 -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 10:27:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lalleee

I'm really new to online dating and recently, I've been chatting with someone who's into the same things in bed but I find him really dumb and dull when chatting.
Do I just meet him for one night? Or don't bother if I don't enjoy talking to him?
What would you do?


depends what you want right now, some action or something a little more meaningful. 

for myself i wouldnt bother either way, but then i dont enjoy casual hook ups.



sub4hire -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 10:32:47 AM)


It depends.  Do you mind unprotected sex with a total stranger?  If the answer is no.  Then go for it. 

You already know he isn't going to cut it long term in the intellect scale. 

Myself, I think I'd tell him the way I feel.  If he still chose to chat then so be it.  If he ran away then so be it.
I wouldn't have the one night stand. 



soul2share -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 11:11:06 AM)

nope...if he can't stimulate me mentally, then he won't do it for sexually.

Brains first, then compatability out of the bedroom, then a sense of humor...sex is at the bottom of the list of things that I'm seeking.



Daddysredhead -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 11:14:15 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDomP

I feel sex is more cerebral then physical. The best experiences I have ever had was when I was/am connected mentally to someone. Another point, surely there is someone else out there with the same interests in bed. I find it hard to believe this one guy is the only one. Take a little time and find someone better suited. Just My opinion.


This.



Twoshoes -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 12:43:03 PM)

Consider this: you could just meet him to talk and interact for a little while in public, so you can figure out if he is indeed dull and boring. A person's "internet personality" can be quite irrelevant.

If he's boring and dull? Well you wouldn't bother with him if it was going to be vanilla sex... The guy still has the responsability of seducing you and being appealing.
I don't expect anyone to want to have sex with me, before I can demonstrate a basic amount of trusthworthiness, honesty, empathy and capacity of having fun. Regardless of how long that takes.

Also, just be careful and have a plan to call someone, because with your profile you are sure to attract some psychopathic fuckers with a lack of empathy and self-control (which makes boring and dull look like a joke).



Also, in reply to DaddyDom & co: For me, sex is also more cerebral than physical and there has to be a two-way interaction going (i.e. why sex with someone drunk can never be worth it). However, some people, like myself, don't have much of an issue with connecting on such an emotional level and not winding up emotionally hurt if it goes wrong. It's like sharing childhood stories with near-strangers. It's quite emotionally driven, but still something I could do with someone I haven't known long and have no guaranteed future friendship with. Altough if the experience is positive, I'd definately want one.

Emotionally driven and emotionally invested/commited are not the same thing.

I also respect people with your viewpoint that require both, but I don't think will change the OPs personality and views on casual sex. I think the important thing is to help her learn to be safe and not lower her standards because of desperation or ignorance.



lizi -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 12:44:55 PM)

There are a lot of other people out there, why not wait for someone you like better? It's not like this is the only guy who will ever be interested in you.

It's really up to you, I find casual encounters empty so I'd hold out for someone I enjoyed in all ways. It's kind of limiting to know that you'll only be able to go so far with someone from the start. I mean why settle for less?



juliaoceania -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 1:00:15 PM)

I love that a woman is asking this question... it is usually men that do. It really shows women are becoming equals in every sense of the word...

Personally, I need to be able to talk to someone for them to sexually excite me, but you might be differently wired



peppermint -> RE: Online hook up (8/11/2010 1:20:49 PM)

If a roll in the sheets for one night will make you happy, go for it.  No need to chat with him any longer online after that.  However, that would mean that you believe he really is into those things you are into in bed and not just saying that to get into your pants.  Maybe he's not quite as dumb as you believe.  If he IS that dull, how did you ever come to chat with him more than one time?





lalleee -> RE: Online hook up (8/12/2010 2:36:23 AM)

Wow, Mr. two, you really don't like me, do you. Now I am desperate and ignorant?
Jeez..



NeedToUseYou -> RE: Online hook up (8/12/2010 2:55:42 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lalleee

I'm really new to online dating and recently, I've been chatting with someone who's into the same things in bed but I find him really dumb and dull when chatting.
Do I just meet him for one night? Or don't bother if I don't enjoy talking to him?
What would you do?


No, obviously, you should be fucking me.... that's goes for all of you bitches, duhhh!!



CelticPrince -> RE: Online hook up (8/12/2010 8:50:07 AM)

quote:

I'm really new to online dating and recently, I've been chatting with someone who's into the same things in bed but I find him really dumb and dull when chatting.
Do I just meet him for one night? Or don't bother if I don't enjoy talking to him?
What would you do?


lalleee,

You do not note how long you have not noted how long you have been on line with the person. If it has been 6 months or more that is enough time to determine that that person is a dud............ if less then things evolve with time so be patient.

CP



wandersalone -> RE: Online hook up (8/12/2010 10:16:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

lalleee,

You do not note how long you have not noted how long you have been on line with the person. If it has been 6 months or more that is enough time to determine that that person is a dud............ if less then things evolve with time so be patient.

CP


6 months ?  Wow I must be incredibly impatient because there is no way in the world that I would hang around for that long with someone online before deciding that they are not for me.

OP if you will be comfortable with a one off hook up go for it (use condoms), if you are looking for something more long term than maybe wait until you find someone who excites your mind as well as your body.  Coming here to ask the question makes me think that you have some doubts about meeting him.

Either way be safe and enjoy [:)]



lalleee -> RE: Online hook up (8/12/2010 9:07:08 PM)

Thanks for all the advices. especially madame marque, who gave me a firm reprimand and extensive guideline.
Dear Domiguy, Korean boys are surprisingly good in bed. People don't know this. They just run in two extream directions, too tame or too sick. This dumb and dull was a foreigner.
I am more and more surprised as I poke around this site because I thought the site would be dedicated to casual sex. Then I find out people here look down upon one night stands. Perhaps because I still don't know the difference between casual hook ups and play partner, but you guys don't sleep around? How did you get so adventurous and deranged when you guys patiently wait for the right one? I'm really quite sure that I am the one who is the least experienced here. I've slept with less than 20 men in my entire life. And most of them, just once. Haven't tried anything kinky yet. I don't know. I've always been wild in anything else but not in sex. Live a life of a frigid till a few years ago. I am more worried that I don't have enough experience in sex and should try more. but I always get this reprimand when I post something that make me seem like the worst whore here. I find it hilarious. Is it because of the high and drunk one nighter story in my profile? You guys really think that's wild? You haven't done anything like this? You never partied with models and strippers? or parties going on for days with cocktails of drugs? Or a Bday bash with a mountain of coke on the table? Are you always sober when you meet someone at a bar or club? How come I am the high and drunk whore that casually fuck strangers yet, the wildest thing I've ever gotten was light tapping on my cheek and some hair pulling? Don't you think I should get out and sleep around more to get to where you all are? Of course, there is always an option to remain a prude and vanilla.



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