RE: Online hook up (Full Version)

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Twoshoes -> RE: Online hook up (8/12/2010 9:34:32 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I love that a woman is asking this question... it is usually men that do. It really shows women are becoming equals in every sense of the word...


Yep, I completely agree, it's awesome women can do that with less judgement now. The younger women are even more upfront with what they want. Which is abit scary if someone manages to clone 3 billion of George Clooney.

With dating websites, you can pretty much ask for and get anything if you're a 20 year old. Girls ask out guys off OKCupid.com these days because they look like models, only to reject them for being terrible kissers. The girl in question noted that she should have used her judgement and cut her losses earlier when he displayed poor conversational skills and awkwardness. Hahaha. Atleast that guy can easily improve his weaknesses with more experience.

The adverts requiring a 6'5" lifelong swimmer are abit more brutal lol.




quote:

ORIGINAL: lalleee

Wow, Mr. two, you really don't like me, do you. Now I am desperate and ignorant?
Jeez..


"Mr. two" - I'll admit that's pretty cute. I dislike you abit less now.

quote:

I think the important thing is to help her learn to be safe and not lower her standards because of desperation or ignorance.


I might have used some strong words there for added dramatic impact. I'll scale it back to "lack of information and impatience".

I also briefly considered "willingness to learn and enthusiasm", but it doesn't work for my sentence.

There you go. [:D]




MadameMarque -> RE: Online hook up (8/13/2010 2:55:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lalleee

Thanks for all the advices. especially madame marque, who gave me a firm reprimand and extensive guideline.
Dear Domiguy, Korean boys are surprisingly good in bed. People don't know this. They just run in two extream directions, too tame or too sick. This dumb and dull was a foreigner.
I am more and more surprised as I poke around this site because I thought the site would be dedicated to casual sex. Then I find out people here look down upon one night stands. Perhaps because I still don't know the difference between casual hook ups and play partner, but you guys don't sleep around? How did you get so adventurous and deranged when you guys patiently wait for the right one? I'm really quite sure that I am the one who is the least experienced here. I've slept with less than 20 men in my entire life. And most of them, just once. Haven't tried anything kinky yet. I don't know. I've always been wild in anything else but not in sex. Live a life of a frigid till a few years ago. I am more worried that I don't have enough experience in sex and should try more. but I always get this reprimand when I post something that make me seem like the worst whore here. I find it hilarious. Is it because of the high and drunk one nighter story in my profile? You guys really think that's wild? You haven't done anything like this? You never partied with models and strippers? or parties going on for days with cocktails of drugs? Or a Bday bash with a mountain of coke on the table? Are you always sober when you meet someone at a bar or club? How come I am the high and drunk whore that casually fuck strangers yet, the wildest thing I've ever gotten was light tapping on my cheek and some hair pulling? Don't you think I should get out and sleep around more to get to where you all are? Of course, there is always an option to remain a prude and vanilla.


How was that a reprimand? I didn't judge you. As I review your profile, it still sounds to me as if you're expressing dissatisfaction with the results you've had with one-nighters - did I get that wrong? And you post here, saying you're in doubt about whether clicking with someone sexually is enough to make it worth even a single night of your time, because you don't find he's good company.

You asked, "What would you do?" So I told you.

If you want to connect with guys not only sexually but personally, I suggested changing your profile. I'm interested in your story about how you first discovered your taste for BDSM, it doesn't shock me. But if you're trying to find something different, as I thought you were indicating, I wouldn't lead with it, as it might tend to attract more of the same. If I've misunderstood, maybe that's why you think I'm reprimanding you. Your profile does have a lot of personality and it's open and candid, and those are all good things. Maybe it'll appeal to just the sort of men and situations you're seeking.

As someone who is, indeed, fairly experienced and has known quite a few people into BDSM and seen their experiences, I would tell anyone less experienced the same as I've told you, regarding safety, for no other reason than caring. Someone should care enough to talk to you about these things.

I went into some detail about safety, because I thought it would be so vague as to be useless, to simply say, "Be careful!" So, I said what it is I mean, by 'be careful.' And I would have said the same to a dear friend, if that dear friend was talking about the high-risk activities you've mentioned, namely meeting strangers for one-night scenes and asking them to get rough, while you're under the influence. That's a really high-risk combination, by anyone's standards. If all of those elements are calculated risks you've consciously chosen, because it's worth it to you to have the experience they provide, that's up to you.

But if you can enjoy yourself as much with less risk, I'd wish that for you, so that your experience has the best chance to be hot and pleasurable and fabulous.

"Don't you think I should get out and sleep around more to get to where you all are? Of course, there is always an option to remain a prude and vanilla."

Actually, being into BDSM doesn't necessarily equal having lots of partners or lots of casual play. Some very kinky people have a lot of experience with a small number of partners, and some do enjoy casual play with many partners.

"Haven't tried anything kinky yet."

Well, asking guys to slap you and pull your hair does kinda qualify. But welcome to the club!

Not hatin' on you at all,

Mme. Marque




lalleee -> RE: Online hook up (8/15/2010 6:48:19 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes


quote:

I think the important thing is to help her learn to be safe and not lower her standards because of desperation or ignorance.


I might have used some strong words there for added dramatic impact. I'll scale it back to "lack of information and impatience".

I also briefly considered "willingness to learn and enthusiasm", but it doesn't work for my sentence.

There you go. [:D]



Thank you very much for dislking me less and scaling desperate and ignorant back to lack of information and impatience. You are benevolence manifested in 20 years old boy. [sm=duel.gif]




lalleee -> RE: Online hook up (8/15/2010 7:01:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: MadameMarque


How was that a reprimand? I didn't judge you. As I review your profile, it still sounds to me as if you're expressing dissatisfaction with the results you've had with one-nighters - did I get that wrong? And you post here, saying you're in doubt about whether clicking with someone sexually is enough to make it worth even a single night of your time, because you don't find he's good company.

You asked, "What would you do?" So I told you.

If you want to connect with guys not only sexually but personally, I suggested changing your profile. I'm interested in your story about how you first discovered your taste for BDSM, it doesn't shock me. But if you're trying to find something different, as I thought you were indicating, I wouldn't lead with it, as it might tend to attract more of the same. If I've misunderstood, maybe that's why you think I'm reprimanding you. Your profile does have a lot of personality and it's open and candid, and those are all good things. Maybe it'll appeal to just the sort of men and situations you're seeking.

As someone who is, indeed, fairly experienced and has known quite a few people into BDSM and seen their experiences, I would tell anyone less experienced the same as I've told you, regarding safety, for no other reason than caring. Someone should care enough to talk to you about these things.

I went into some detail about safety, because I thought it would be so vague as to be useless, to simply say, "Be careful!" So, I said what it is I mean, by 'be careful.' And I would have said the same to a dear friend, if that dear friend was talking about the high-risk activities you've mentioned, namely meeting strangers for one-night scenes and asking them to get rough, while you're under the influence. That's a really high-risk combination, by anyone's standards. If all of those elements are calculated risks you've consciously chosen, because it's worth it to you to have the experience they provide, that's up to you.

But if you can enjoy yourself as much with less risk, I'd wish that for you, so that your experience has the best chance to be hot and pleasurable and fabulous.

"Don't you think I should get out and sleep around more to get to where you all are? Of course, there is always an option to remain a prude and vanilla."

Actually, being into BDSM doesn't necessarily equal having lots of partners or lots of casual play. Some very kinky people have a lot of experience with a small number of partners, and some do enjoy casual play with many partners.

"Haven't tried anything kinky yet."

Well, asking guys to slap you and pull your hair does kinda qualify. But welcome to the club!

Not hatin' on you at all,

Mme. Marque


Madame M, I wasn't being sarcastic when I thanked you. I meant it. Your reply was one of the nicest.
I am able to discern a good reprimand from hate. There is nothing wrong reprimanding. I like it. [:-]
So you think I qualify as bdsmer? but as I poke around the site, I am realizing more and more that slapping and hairpulling is really week, compare to what people are into here. Starting to think I didn't belong. You made my day! Thank you, Madame.

bijou x bijou,
LL




Twoshoes -> RE: Online hook up (8/15/2010 7:58:46 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: lalleee

Thank you very much for dislking me less and scaling desperate and ignorant back to lack of information and impatience. You are benevolence manifested in 20 years old boy. [sm=duel.gif]


Spot on, lalleee,.

It was genuine benevolence. I do have a sister to worry about.

However, I don't want to be giving off the wrong impression I'm too nice or protective and get flooded with attention from those sweet girls who don't like to play rough.

I might as well ditch the attitude for online though, it's more appropriate for the kind of environment I'm in currently at university.

--
Very kind of you to push me back only 2 years. Could have been way worse!

Got to love a woman who can put you in your place in 3 seconds flat with a sassy comment. [;)]

Off to go ask abunch of Dommes to teach me more etiquette.
Cheers




lalleee -> RE: Online hook up (8/19/2010 11:30:21 PM)

Cheers, Mr. Two




sirsholly -> RE: Online hook up (8/20/2010 3:32:38 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lalleee


I am more and more surprised as I poke around this site because I thought the site would be dedicated to casual sex. Then I find out people here look down upon one night stands.
For the majority, BDSM is not just about sex. It is about who we are.
quote:

Perhaps because I still don't know the difference between casual hook ups and play partner, but you guys don't sleep around?
personally, no.
quote:

How did you get so adventurous and deranged when you guys patiently wait for the right one?
i do not consider myself deranged. And would you ask this question to a vanilla person...How do you get so adventurous while you wait patiently for the right one? My answer....self respect.

quote:

I'm really quite sure that I am the one who is the least experienced here. I've slept with less than 20 men in my entire life.
Honey....i can't even say i have slept with half as many and yet i do not consider myself inexperienced.
quote:

And most of them, just once. Haven't tried anything kinky yet. I don't know. I've always been wild in anything else but not in sex. Live a life of a frigid till a few years ago.
Confidence issue, perhaps?
quote:

I am more worried that I don't have enough experience in sex and should try more.
Would you relax?!!  What do you consider "enough experience"? My goodness...you will know what to do and if you do not, you have a partner to guide you as you will guide him. All the experience in the world  is tossed out the window when you are with someone new. You have to learn HIM.
quote:

but I always get this reprimand when I post something that make me seem like the worst whore here. I find it hilarious. Is it because of the high and drunk one nighter story in my profile? You guys really think that's wild? You haven't done anything like this?
*groan* A high and drunk one nighter is simply stupid. It is dangerous and can lead to disaster. I think people are trying to help you rather than reprimand.
quote:

You never partied with models and strippers? or parties going on for days with cocktails of drugs? Or a Bday bash with a mountain of coke on the table?
Can't say that i have, actually. I stopped any drug use when i grew up.
quote:

Are you always sober when you meet someone at a bar or club?
In the past...no, of course not. But i was never drunk enough to risk my safety or comprimise my self-esteem. If i liked him, or he liked me, numbers were exchanged.
quote:

How come I am the high and drunk whore that casually fuck strangers yet, the wildest thing I've ever gotten was light tapping on my cheek and some hair pulling?
Sober up and realize you will get vanilla sex when you are sleeping with vanilla men.
quote:

Don't you think I should get out and sleep around more to get to where you all are? Of course, there is always an option to remain a prude and vanilla.
For heavens sake...how insulting!!! Many of us did not get to "where we are" by sleeping around. I can only speak for myself here, but the key was knowing what i wanted before i went out and looked for it. You are looking for love in all the wrong places and seem to feel either you bed every available male in the misguided hope of finding someone to meet your kink, or be a "prude". Get real. What you are doing is compromising both your safety and you level of integrity. Stop it.
You are worth the wait, my dear.




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