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Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 8:41:15 AM   
cravinspankin


Posts: 127
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline 		I was fortunate last night to be able to engage in two new experiences for me: being bound with chain, and while chained, being not only allowed, but encouraged to fight back.
The chains were awesome -- the feel of cold steel against my bare flesh. And i actually had thought i might be afraid with chains, but ended up feeling safer; it had a somewhat soothing effect on me.
But the top had earlier told me that he loves getting that primal energy out of a bottom when he or she fights back.
I didnt' at first. Till after he had spent quite some time torturing my breasts and nipples with clothes pins. I'm quite sensitive there, and they were quite sore by the time he started whipping them.
Flat on my back on a swinging bed type bondage station, at this point i started moving, trying to get myself out of the way of the strike, trying to protect my breasts to no avail.
Before i knew it, i was striking out at him, to the extend my chained wrists would allow. The rest of the scene was much of that, plus calling him names, cursing at him, taking swing, punching him over and over when he got close enough, grabbing for his balls (damn he was fast, lol)
All as he smiled and laughed, and continued to assail me with this little riding crop type thing with a whip-type cracker on the end.
WOW.
I haven't hit anyone, period, since i was probably 8 years old and got in a fight with one of my brothers.
Good girls don't fight. I'm a pacifist.
And certainly since coming into BDSM and realizing my submission about a year ago, i've never even thought about fighting back when playing with a Dom. And had I , they probably would have tore my ass up, or stopped and walked away.
This was so out of character for me,and don't think i'd do it often, but was so wonderful, and such high energy, and fun, and let me work out some frustrations with some of the Doms i've met by calling this one horrible names and taunting him to come closer so i could hit him.
I was wondering if many of you here have engaged in this type of play and if you'd share your experience.
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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 8:46:34 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Reposted:
It's not brat behavior at all, depending on the circumstances.

I love foreceplay to a high degree. But I always ask my partner permission for it first. Partly this is to show respect for the dynamic between us and so that they won't be confused, and partly because I really don't hold back during forceplay and they have to be ready for the biting/punching/kicking and other physical attacks which will come.

For me what triggers it is either a high sense of need, a primal energy burst that needs to be fed or actually a sense of insecurity- the little girl who wants to be shown how much she is desired and that she can't get away.

Non-consensual consent type scenes are very common and desired in the scene. DO a search for that or "force play" and see what you come up with.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_257243/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#257283
Fighting back for fun!

http://www.collarchat.com/m_157286/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#157426
Fighting Back

http://www.collarchat.com/m_139472/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#139477
A challenging submissive

http://www.collarchat.com/m_110661/mpage_1/key_force%252Cplay/tm.htm#110673
Force

http://www.collarchat.com/m_76392/mpage_1/key_force%2Cplay/tm.htm
The premise of forced play

http://www.collarchat.com/m_214517/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#214524
Releasing the beast within

http://www.collarchat.com/m_153621/mpage_1/key_primal/tm.htm#153823
Rage



< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 4/20/2006 8:48:30 AM >

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 11:10:18 AM   
IndigoDadesi


Posts: 185
Status: offline 		I lov this sort of play as well. I actually learned some Ju-jitsu holds and stuff over the summer specifically so that I could over power my slave (who is 3 if not 5 times as strong as I am)

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 11:13:45 AM   
Tikkiee


Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline 		I am encouraged to be as aggressive during play as I can possibly be; not only by Chris, but by others as well.

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~~@ cass @~~

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 11:51:40 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		i may turn animalistic in my lust, but fighting back?  No way. He gets off on my submission and acceptance of whatever difficulty is occuring.  He loves seeing me fight myself from fighting back....(evil, i tell ya).  i so much as turn away and...well...it's not pretty. lol.

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 12:17:13 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

i may turn animalistic in my lust, but fighting back?  No way. He gets off on my submission and acceptance of whatever difficulty is occuring.  He loves seeing me fight myself from fighting back....(evil, i tell ya).  i so much as turn away and...well...it's not pretty. lol.

Just like any kinky, some enjoy it and some don't.  For me there's a time and a place.  It's also why I ask my partner BEFORE I go into forceplay.  It would be very inappropriate for anyone to try and instigate a forceplay scene without letting the other person know.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 12:28:57 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Definitely, and i am not knocking it by any means.  Just saying it's not likely something He will ever engage me in.

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 2:19:28 PM   
enthralled


Posts: 249
Joined: 9/13/2005
From: Nashville, Tn
Status: offline 		The "kink friendly-halfway nilla- would be a switch- damn good lover' play partner I have (how's THAT as a label for ya? lmao) and I love to do this.... we call it rough body play.... though I did end up with a knot on my head and a swollen shoulder one morning from being knocked into the coffee table ..... *G*- still was fun though!

enthralled

< Message edited by enthralled -- 4/20/2006 2:20:03 PM >

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 2:45:38 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Primal play is very much a significant  part of my play.  I personally take great pleasure from the free flowing and uninhibited responses that such play generates from my play partners.  The people I Top are encouraged to allow themselves to be free and uninhibited in their behaviors and reactions to the things that occur in the scene.  It has been my experience that those I play with and those I have observed are under an expectation to maintain control of them selves and behave appropriately in all given situations.  These expectations can over time lead to a buildup of stress and this requires a constructive outlet for release.  One manner to release this stress that I provide my girls is the primal play.  My girls have one rule in play..."They have no rules"  I very specifically instruct my girls to avoid any thoughtful consideration of how they want or should behave.  If they think it, They DO IT!  It is my pleasure in play to enforce and control their behaviors.  I will seek the means and methods to inhibit their behaviors and reactions that I choose.  I will also encourage and incite the behaviors and reactions that I enjoy.  I personally find an intense pleasure by dominating and enforcing control within a scene.  In effect their behaviors and reactions often appear to be chaotic and radical, but yet I effect control upon them and harness the energy they produce and focus it in the manner I choose.  For my girls there is a sense of empowerment and freedom within the play that we do.  The play tends to provide a catalyst for achieving and maintaining the level of behaviors that I expect of them in their daily activities.

For some this play is rather shocking and disturbing to watch.  A bottom fighting back for many could be a warning flag of concern to the consensual nature of the play at hand.  For many Tops a bottom fighting back can give them the appearance that consent is being revoked and are unable to continue to play as result.  It is indeed important that those participating in the play have clear understanding of the nature of primal play.  It is important to understand how such play can or will be stopped.  One should understand the risks associated with this kind of play.  I personally have been dropped to the floor, kicked, punched, bit, scratched and even took a knee into the groin.  A bottom that fight back will feel the force of the Top against their resistance.  A Top will use equal force to the bottom’s resistance, plus one.  This “plus one” is the appropriate force to bring submission and break the resistance.  For the bottom, there is always the risk that this “plus One” will be more than they can tolerate and the extra force could be sufficient to cause more than immediate submission in the scene, but a lasting negative impact outside the scene.  For the Top, you will always run the risk that the bottom’s resistance will be greater than the force you are will to exert to bring enforced submission.  As a Top that play a lot in Primal play, I protect against these risk with one factor and one factor alone… Keep my girl free of harm.  If I am unsure that my girl can take the “plus one” to bring enforced submission, I will end the play.  If I am unsure of my ability to use “plus one” to enforce submission, I will end the play.  The point of primal play is not to see who wins… but to have fun free of Harm!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 3:28:31 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

I was fortunate last night to be able to engage in two new experiences for me: being bound with chain, and while chained, being not only allowed, but encouraged to fight back.


Hi, My name is Cin and I'm a chain slut. A complete and utter wanton for the stuff. I have no idea why, but the sight, sound, and touch of chain drives me crazy!! Always has...from the time I was very young, I played with chain. Love how cold it is, love the weight of it...Gawd, just everything about it, even the metallic taste of it.

Okay, I've wiped the drool off my chin, and can get to the other point of your post calmly...I think!

I've only ever done one resistance scene and it was short; a lesson in mental bondage, basically. It was an intense experience, and one that, at first made me question its consensuality. However, within 24hrs I realized how important a scene it had been for me. I count that as the day I stopped being a kinky, wannabe-sub and actually learned about the truth about submission.

Now, being the type of sub who finds obediance instinctual and erotic, I shrugged off resistance play as something that doesn't interest me. But, lately, my fantasies are leaning toward resistance, and in talking with a dom I really admire at the munch last night I came to realize that it's probably a need for me to recover some of that intensity from the past when I really did struggle.

At any rate, I'm interested in attempting to do some resistance scenes, and explore this concept more, but I really don't have anyone at this time who can take on the dominant role in this. I think it takes a lot of knowledge of your partner, a real emotional connection, and a ton of trust. (At least it seems to me it would if I want to get something positive from it...)

I'm interested in reading about other people's experiences in it. Thanks for posting this! And welcome to the ChainSlutsAnonymous group...We meet every Wednesday at the local Chains'R'Us near you.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 3:32:08 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

Primal play is very much a significant  part of my play. 


KoM, this was fantastic. I'm going to email you on the other side about permission to post this on my website. It has really given me food for thought on a side of D/s I haven't given much thought to.

Thanks for posting it.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 5:08:22 PM   
Alumbrado


Posts: 5560
Status: offline 		A: I get off on resistance

B: I want my slave to know that she can be overpowered and made helpless by me, no matter how she struggles. I want there to be no mistake in her mind that behind all of the play is in fact the power to completely control her physically.



(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 5:40:50 PM   
MizSuz


Posts: 1881
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

But the top had earlier told me that he loves getting that primal energy out of a bottom



I looooooooove, to paraphrase topcat, hot sweaty monkey play (he says hot sweaty monkey sex - and I love that too).  It applies to this type of play and I'm quite fond of it as both a top and a bottom.  In fact, if the top pushes me the way I like to be pushed I usually end up there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

All as he smiled and laughed, and continued to assail me


That's usually how I respond to that in a bottom, too.  Laugh out right at their rage, it really can send me under the right circumstances.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

WOW.


INDEED!!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: cravinspankin

I was wondering if many of you here have engaged in this type of play and if you'd share your experience.


I tend to scream FUCK very loudly when I bottom (if the top is good at this sort of thing).  I have a friend I have bottomed to who usually responds with YEAH??? WELL FUCK YOU!!!! as he pounds me hard enough to knock me off my feet were I not secured.  We both sweat like pigs when we play (no sex).

I have another friend I've topped often who stamps her feet, pounds the wall (she doesn't like to be tied up, prefering a wall to brace against) and when she's really pegged out she'll growl, stomp her feet and pull back her fist to punch me.  I always laugh in her face! hahahahaha  I'm laughing just thinking about it! hahahaha  "Go ahead, but remember I will punch you back!"  hehehe fun times. (also no sex)

This approach makes for some pretty hot sex, too - but I think I'll keep that private. 



_____________________________

“The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love. If a person had time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.”
- Robert Heinlein

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 6:05:26 PM   
MstrFury


Posts: 77
Joined: 2/1/2006
Status: offline 		don't know what it is there Knight...seems like we mirror a lot of each other...except in my case...this type of play was discontinued as my girls..( I found out later about their discussions)...although they enjoyed the freedom they experienced within the session...later felt so out of kilter because of the reactions of their struggles against me...they didn't wish to have this sort of play any longer....and by the way...I can just as well leave this out of what we do...just ask my right nut...ouch...but I can't very well know how to inflict the kind of pain I know they need....if I can't absorb some as well...

_____________________________

Fury

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 7:43:32 PM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline 		Primal play is one of the ways I am able to vent and release  the stress and anxiety I build up on a day to day basis.  I have other ways of  coping with stress as well but for me primal play  has an incredible amount of power. Never once have I quiestioned who is in control of the play.

I used to have a real problem with nightmares, it was just my psyche's way of releasing some of the   stress from my job and there were  no lingering bouts of insomnia afterwords but my husband Rob never really appreciated getting woken up at three in the morning by me screaming at the top of my lungs beside him. To make it worse I would usually mummble something then go back to sleep leaving him sitting bolt upright.  It wasn't until after a few months of bottoming to Knight that Rob noticed I wasn't having nightmares anymore, lol he suggested I pay Knight counselling fee's *s* for His services *s*

Like any play tho, this takes a lot of trust and communication.
denika

< Message edited by denika -- 4/20/2006 7:46:33 PM >

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 7:59:17 PM   
MsPoetress


Posts: 1066
Joined: 4/4/2006
Status: offline 		The primal urge to fight!

I love to think that I will over power him and be the victor. Then to my dismay (sarcasm) he wins and takes me savagely… hmmm just thinking about it has me frothing at the bit and ready to go! It gets bad enough sometimes we have to put the dog out, in fear that he would protect my husband and harm me… I know where his loyalties lie.

It is the whole non-consensual fantasy for me.

~poe

_____________________________

~poe

I'm mad, you're mad, we're all mad here, it's the fad for many a year, if you think we're crazy my dear, you're right cause I'M mad, YOU'RE mad, we're ALL mad here! - Mad Hatter

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 8:14:24 PM   
HisAvalon


Posts: 60
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline 		Fighting back (or forceplay...I never knew it had a name before!) is never something that my master or I plan ahead for, but when it happens, it's very scary and yet can be more satisfying than almost any other kind of playing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alumbrado

B: I want my slave to know that she can be overpowered and made helpless by me, no matter how she struggles. I want there to be no mistake in her mind that behind all of the play is in fact the power to completely control her physically.



Exactly! Master is often my daddy, and I can be a difficult little girl sometimes, but always I take comfort in the fact that daddy is bigger and stronger than me (he's 6'5), and as much as I physically fight back, he will always win. I think I feel safest and most free when I'm both mentally and physically subjugated.

Avalon

_____________________________

...This tower, it is my own;
Though it was reared To Beauty, it was wrought
From what I had to build with; honest bone
Is there, and anguish; pride; and burning thought;
And lust is there, and nights not spent alone.

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/20/2006 10:51:27 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

Primal play is one of the ways I am able to vent and release  the stress and anxiety I build up on a day to day basis. 


Would you say that you have noticed any downsides to this type of play? After effects? Or are there any caveats you'd like to share? Anything you wouldn't recommend?

Hearing more about this from your side and KoM's side would really be helpful to me, and I'm sure others as well.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/21/2006 1:39:15 AM   
denika


Posts: 619
Joined: 8/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Would you say that you have noticed any downsides to this type of play? After effects? Or are there any caveats you'd like to share? Anything you wouldn't recommend?

Hearing more about this from your side and KoM's side would really be helpful to me, and I'm sure others as well.

Cin


I haven't noticed any down sides to  Primal Play other than the intense desire to do it again *S*  I have an incredible sense of freedom when W//we play this way. I can scream, I can push, I can swear  I can even cry, which is something I have a hard time doing. The first time I cried during play I was so ashamed and embassed,I didn't even know why I was crying but the tears kept coming. He kept talking to me in the private way He has, the play didn't stop infact He encouraged the tears, I suddenly had permission to let go of  my own social barriers and I never felt better for it.  

I am not the most physicly fit person but I'm a pretty healthy in that I'm 5'9 and, well we won't talk about that weight number *s*  Knight  can  get me to my knee's with a single look but He is also  strong enough to get me to the floor by sheer muscle.  If you are going to do primal play of any sort you have to be very aware of any medical issues.

I came into BDSM with only the preconseived notions of my imagination and very little actual knowledge.  I never thought I could fight back! You were supposed to be quiet or make those cute little moany noises.... mmmm-no...   Maybe for some that works, and that is great. But for me I thought it was pretty boring. 
It's also hard to be quiet when getting hit with a peice of dowling!  Or even better my own fencing epee.

The best thing I could suggest is  make sure both parties know what they are getting into, it's not for everybody. The power exchange it brings can be an incredilbe rush in itself as well as a bonding experience.

I hope this helps a bit 
take care *s*

denika


< Message edited by denika -- 4/21/2006 1:41:25 AM >

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RE: Fighting Back - 4/21/2006 5:30:33 AM   
TxBadMan


Posts: 198
Joined: 4/7/2006
From: Moody, Texas
Status: offline 		I have come away from scenes with scratches, been gouged, kicked in more places than I care to count; cussed at, sneered at, mocked, etc. The more aggressive and physical she gets during a scene, the better it is.
It's highly theraputic in alot of ways; a chance to let go and just react. 

_____________________________

Chris



(in reply to cravinspankin)
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