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RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 11/7/2010 7:10:34 PM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dory007

the 29.95 on line background check is a single girl's best friend.

No, common sense is, and sadly you can't buy that in any store. Shame, that.

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to dory007)

Post #: 41

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 11/8/2010 4:05:21 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: m0nk

Why does there seem to be more focus on the legitimacy of the dom?

It seems to be all the slaves who are deceitful...

If they all are, then maybe you should try to find the constant in the situation.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to m0nk)

Post #: 42

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 11/8/2010 4:21:25 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: m0nk

Why does there seem to be more focus on the legitimacy of the dom?

It seems to be all the slaves who are deceitful...

Because women don't rape men, that's why.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to m0nk)

Post #: 43

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 11/8/2010 9:37:01 AM

MakeMeSmile4U

Posts: 710
Joined: 4/27/2008
From: South Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

they must have 'pestered' the hell out of law enforcement; people can't even file missing persons reports prior to being missing for 72 hours so i really have a hard time believing this part of your story to be true and i stand by my words.

I don't know where you live but most states don't have a time-frame to file missing persons reports. That's a myth generated and perpetuated by television and movies. I work for a PD in South Florida. All of the cities will take the report even if the "missing" person has only been gone for 20 minutes. Granted, we dispatch based on priority, but we take the report. Recently one woman called to report her husband missing. By her account he left their hotel room 30 minutes earlier with some people they had just met and invited in. She said he took their spending money and didn't tell her where he was going and he *NEVER* does that. (DUH... he went to buy more drugs). It was a slow night so we were there within 30 minutes to take the report. And we bolo (notify) the entire lower half of the state of Florida to 'Be On the Lookout' for the missing person. If we were busy, we'd still have responded, but it would have taken longer... but never 72 hours.
Just Sayin'
**edited for a typo**

< Message edited by MakeMeSmile4U -- 11/8/2010 9:39:15 AM >

_____________________________

"And of course you can't become if you only say what you would have done, so I missed a million miles of fun"~Len

"Do all those things that you do to me, ya know what I mean boy... Do all those things that you do to me, yeah.." ~The Cult

(in reply to daddysliloneds)

Post #: 44

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 11/8/2010 9:52:37 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

You can do all of the "right things" and end up in trouble and you can do all of the "wrong things" and have a perfectly safe outcome.

In my case, I live in a small town and didn't have a car. I did a lot of the "wrong things". People picked me up at or near my house. My outcomes were fine. They might not have been though.

However, I believe your best bet is to use common sense. It is usually better to let people know where you are going to be and to meet in a public place.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to MakeMeSmile4U)

Post #: 45

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/6/2010 5:28:07 PM

BabieGothika

Posts: 41
Joined: 5/10/2010
Status: offline

i think than u need to chat for a while first, in Yahoo or other place and know each other for a while before take the next step.
Meet in a public place and talk and know each other in the vanilla World till u r ready for BDSM scene

(in reply to mattyp61)

Post #: 46

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/6/2010 5:34:58 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: janigrey
..........play at a public dungeon.........

Ist play at a public dungeon

Good advice to add to the quick list.

First meet at a munch isn't a bad idea either. I knew a sub who asked that, and she got a bunch of lame excuses from men who wouldn't dare show their face in front of the local community.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 47

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/6/2010 5:54:45 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

Bring an entourage packing heat? I'm sure it would dramatically increase safety assurance.

Just a thought. Everyone already gave all the really good suggestions..

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 48

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/6/2010 11:38:31 PM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

The "safe call" sounds like a good idea, but I agree with what someone said earlier about possibly having a hard time getting the police to do anything.

The 24-hour waiting period IS a myth (and for the life of me I can't understand my movies and TV shows continue to perpetuate it... it's been debunked here, on Snopes.com, and in every true crime book imaginable, and yet still the supposed waiting period continues to be a plot point in just about EVERY movie having to do w/ an abduction or disappearance... that's just irresponsible).

That being said... I don't know what others' experiences with the cops have been like, but I once tried to report having witnessed an apartment being broken into, and got passed around to three different departments before I found someone who was willing to say, "Yeah, we'll send someone out to take a look." (And believe me when I tell you she said it w/ the maximum amount of boredom evident in her voice). So I could imagine having a difficult time getting the 5-0's to get their butts in gear, LoL.

(in reply to anniezz338)

Post #: 49

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 8:40:48 AM

mramazingDm

Posts: 3
Joined: 6/17/2010
Status: offline

This fear shit ruin everything in society.... Seriously imagine how many meetings or get togethers are ruined over fear. Meet in public use your common sense use a hotel. Stop being Scared an live your life.

(in reply to asilentscream)

Post #: 50

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 8:49:10 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

I have met people from the internet and had great expierences...however each time we conversed on the phone for a long period of time...only a few meets sucked LOL...that was in the beginning and I had the fever...whewwwwwwww.

MY best luck was attending munches, which I had to move to the other side of the state and was fortunate to be taken in by a Lady who commenced to show men alot, as well as some of her friend <winces>

She will ALWAYS hold a special p;ace in my heart as we were intense together...

Find a munch if you can and dive in <g> you never know what you will find...

Good luck

(in reply to mattyp61)

Post #: 51

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 8:51:33 AM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Oh on anotrher note its NOT just about the sub feeling *safe*...as a sadist I was very cautious, even worried at times...jail did not sound like a fun place to....go.>smack smack>

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 52

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 8:53:50 AM

CerVeza

Posts: 156
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

These profiles are hilarious... either that or they make me throw up in my mouth. Keep em coming! Jockularity abounds!

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 53

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 4:21:31 PM

ThundersCry

Posts: 892
Status: offline

Does that mean you...swallow?

(in reply to CerVeza)

Post #: 54

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 10:55:11 PM

soul2share

Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline

OK, first of all, you would take the same precautions meeting with a dom that you would with anyone......a blind date is a blind date! There is no difference in meeting someone from this site than meeting someone from Match.com. Use your heads, folks......don't leave your common sense behind!

As far as my own experience, it's pretty much been outlined here....chatting online for a bit, sometimes progressing to phone calls, and then the public meet. Always in public! Usually for coffee, once it was for dinner. I make it very clear that there will be no play on the first meet. That fact alone will usually start to weed out the wanna-bes or players.

I use the chatting sessions to get to know where his thoughts are at....yes, people can type whatever they want, but keeping up the front gets hard to maintain. And the red flags will pop up.....don't be afraid to ask questions, either. Trust your first impressions.....once a guy only wants to know what size my boobs are, or starts asking me rude questions you wouldn't ask in public, I'm outta there. There is NO sub/dom dynamic at the first meeting.....at least, there never has been with me. We are simply two people meeting to see if there is any chemistry to continue on with any further activity. This is going to really make the doms here cringe, but I am the one who decides when and who to I will submit to. If he can't accept that, or doesn't understand that, then again, I'm outta there. I don't do online commands for submission.....for some reason, I find that whole thing totally laughable!

ALWAYS TRUST YOUR GUT!!!!! It's when I don't that I find myself in hot water.....and that goes for my everyday life too!

_____________________________

I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?"...people are starting to take it as a challenge!

*Not a fuck was given.*

(in reply to ThundersCry)

Post #: 55

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/15/2010 10:59:58 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

"Meeting a dom online-how to ensure safety?"

Cripes. This ain't complicated. Isn't this what Starbucks was invented for?

edited due to font issues

< Message edited by Kana -- 12/15/2010 11:45:44 PM >

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to soul2share)

Post #: 56

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/16/2010 12:00:05 AM

SaintAllie

Posts: 158
Joined: 3/23/2006
Status: offline

If someone won't meet me at a munch/social (I prefer the term social also).. then I don't meet them.

Set your boundaries and stick to them, is my personal suggestion to you..

Allie

_____________________________

........"I am determined to press onward through my fears. When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid." ---Audre Lorde

Keep NZ nuclear free..

(in reply to mattyp61)

Post #: 57

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/18/2010 5:23:43 AM

journerotica

Posts: 6
Joined: 11/20/2010
Status: offline

It very much depends on the situation and person - I have no interest in attending munches so would say a firm "no" to a sub who wanted to talk to me at one.

I also don't like to talk too much online first - it's a big time investment and given the number of fakers and fantasists around I've been stung on that a few times. Some I've talked to on the phone, some I haven't. After one became obsessed (before I met them) and hassled me with calls and text messages all the time after I was very clear I was no longer interested in them, I now have a "dating" mobile number. I would never give someone I hadn't met my home phone number or address.

With subs I always meet somewhere public, either for a coffee or a drink somewhere I'm happy with. I make it clear there will be no play. After that it's got to be about both of us trusting our instincts.

When I was sub in the past I have played on a first meet, but we've always met in public first and I have always been very clear I reserve a right to say "no" to play once we've met.

The thing to watch with facebook is that if you friend someone they then have access to your profile, you can give away a lot of information about yourself that way. It's not something I generally do until I've met someone.

So meet in public first, trust your gut, but don't kid yourself that talking a lot online is a good indicator - nothing's real 'til I've met someone in the flesh.

(in reply to SaintAllie)

Post #: 58

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/20/2010 8:51:03 PM

DeviantBikerCpl

Posts: 1
Joined: 8/29/2009
Status: offline

We meet and play at some of the lifestyle clubs, They have security and a lot of people around.
The ones out our way are for swingers but are very safe and clean.....nice place to meet and play

(in reply to asilentscream)

Post #: 59

RE: Meeting a dom online - how to ensure safety? - 12/22/2010 3:08:40 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

Another "duh" thread. Common sense, as it has been stated for 3 pages now, is not exclusive to the vanilla world.

I believe that these questions are being asked by those who mythologize the world of BDSM into something more than it is.

Once again people: you are still dealing with people whether a Dom or a vanilla guy and whatever your gut tells you will be the same in either case.

The sub frenzy (and Dom frenzy) is what makes people lose their brains when they think their other parts might be in play during a meeting.

I have been meeting people for years and never once did I have a bad situation, other than a boring, dull, stupid, or clueless date.

(in reply to DeviantBikerCpl)

Post #: 60

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