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RE: Training ?????? - 9/8/2010 4:46:26 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

all males are slaves?


Damn, I need a sex change to continue being a Dom?!?!?!? 


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Training ?????? - 9/8/2010 5:17:33 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		Oh, no you dont, DS.

Far be it for me to say what you, a domly dom, should do.

And im so not getting into trouble with the o'hara group for even suggesting you should cut off anything beyond an inch of hair.

Im too well trained for all that!



_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 142
RE: Training ?????? - 9/8/2010 7:23:30 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Calla
Like you, I was also formally trained--in protocols, etiquette and proper behavior--everything from how to address others, interaction with other boys, housecleaning, boots and leather care, formal table service--shaving, piercing, techniques, even how to fist--every aspect of serving others was a gift, given to me in the form of training, by very talented tops AND other bottoms who decided I was worth investing the time and effort.  I was trained in positioning--how to take pain--and in the more cruel forms--how to remain in position and NOT receive any pain at all. far worse, in my opinion.

These valuable lessons not only brought me (and others) great pleasure, but I found, to my surprise, that these were skills that truly did carry over in my "normal" life, particularly my job.  For a few years I worked as a (male) executive assistant, and found it was almost effortless and enjoyable, particularly when I adored my boss, and I outlasted the many assistants who held the post before I did. 

My boss thought I was just diligent and conscientious (which I am), but many of you understand, I'm sure.  I knew he liked his coffee a certain way, how he liked his cups washed just so--his various daily tasks performed --it gave me tremendous pleasure to anticipate his every need, to have every thing ready for him before he asked for it--to get that approving nod, that compliment--I enjoyed preparing lunches for his meetings, and how he noticed that I would serve it so carefully, so deliberate.

Years later--in the public service--I found it easy to "Yes Sir" and "No Ma'am" and follow orders.  I could stand at attention with a drill instructor screaming in my face, and stand stoically looking ahead. 

I never stop learning--for a good servant, training is an on-going process to which there is no end.

Whenever anyone commented that I was a well-trained houseboy, I knew that the compliment was not for me, but for my tops.
Anyone can learn skills--but the sign of someone well-trained is not only a positive reflection of the servant, but of those who trained him/her.
,
frederich

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Training ?????? - 9/10/2010 9:43:31 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticPrince

quote:

You're entirely incorrect about me. I have never insulted you, called you names or said that you were wrong or incorrect in your thinking. I have simply asked you, repeatedly, to define your terms and explain what you are disavowing. Something you are perfectly willing to let others do but refuse to do so yourself.

Even if you truly, but falsely, believe that I'm here to cut and dice you, what do you have to hide? If you believe in these things so passionately, why conceal them? Why not share them so that others could read them and simply block me?

< Message edited by AquaticSub


AS,

The above is a fine example of your method of partisipation to read or misread what is presented.

1 I never suggested that you insulted me, or called me names so why put thaty is a post?
2. If the answer to your quest is covered in another's post and I will agree or disagree with it then you have learned what you seek...........what is gained by your further insistance?
3, smiles, you do not possess the ability to slice and dice me...... the reference is to your purchance to slice and dice a comment or words because you do not yet see what you want to see.
4. I hope I have made myselt clear.

CP


Why are you so defensive with me? Why can you not simply provide your definations?

I never said I could cut and dice you. You said I was here to. I said I wasn't and pointed to the fact that I have not insulted you in any way as evidence that I am not here to cut and dice.

I do not understand why you are relucant to clearly state your own opinion in your own words. What do you possibly have to lose? Why bother attempting to belittling my postings when I'm simply asking for your opinions?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Training ?????? - 9/10/2010 11:51:10 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: roughleather

Training a sub isn't that hard if you've trained animals

A good start is to put your sub through basic dog training - stand, sit, kneel, lie down, roll over, heel, both on verbal command and hand signals. It's a conditioning exercise - it teaches her to obey quickly, without thinking about it. This drives home the meaning of submission.



Please tell me you are kidding? The only thing even vaguely dog like about being submissive is when you feel like a bitch in heat.

Oh, and newsflash? The meaning of submission is as individual as snowflakes.

(in reply to roughleather)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Training ?????? - 9/10/2010 12:15:25 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy
it gave me tremendous pleasure to anticipate his every need, to have every thing ready for him before he asked for it--to get that approving nod, that compliment--I enjoyed preparing lunches for his meetings, and how he noticed that I would serve it so carefully, so deliberate.


If I ever felt like that I would be very uncomfortable with/scared of myself. O_o
Hmm...

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/10/2010 12:16:59 PM >

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Training ?????? - 9/11/2010 3:53:38 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Twoshoes:

Seriously? Why?  (I'm not being facetious)  We had a very tight-knit, close relationship (strictly professional, no funny business...) and I had a deep admiration and respect for him.  He had several assistants before me, who resented that they had to clean out his coffee cups or providing "table service" to him and his guests at lunch in his office--they were bitter about many of the tasks that they considered "menial" and "beneath them."     I enjoyed serving this man who I simply adored and respected--he treated me with tremendous dignity and respect--and I was extremely well-paid on top of it all.  Being a good houseboy helped me be a good executive assistant. (he told me I was the best assistant he ever had!)

I enjoyed my work--which was essentially serving a very distinguished man--and my love for service, which plays a role in my personal/ life, allowed me to have a very successful professional career.   I'm not a slave-- I'm a servant. For me, there's a distinction. I realize that may not be the case for many people here and that's okay---it's just not who I am.

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Training ?????? - 9/11/2010 4:27:27 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		I was just trying to relate to you and in doing so I made myself really uncomfortable because I'm not submissive.

My internal dialogue is vastly different from yours.
Usually, my thoughts are related to what I'm going to do through my own initiative. So trying to direct my thoughts into anticipating and satisfying someone else's needs was a bit freaky.

In other words, I tried to think like you and it felt strange not feeling most of the familiar drives and motivations for doing things.
(Sort of how in acting similiar personalities are more comfortable to emulate.)

So there is nothing in there to take personally, hausboy. You explained it very well, actually - thanks.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/11/2010 4:28:58 PM >

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Training ?????? - 9/11/2010 4:39:09 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Ah! okay...got it! Thanks for clarifying that.  Thought maybe I had said something that was truly scary.

There really is something quite liberating (for me) about being in servitude to someone else-- I changed careers a few years back and now I'm in a position where I not only supervise other people, but I make a lot of decisions--some that are literally life and death.  Having to be in charge all day is fine with me, but it just feels great to be able to  let it all go, have someone else in charge, and not have to be responsible for anything other than attending to the needs of the Household.
frederich

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Training ?????? - 9/11/2010 4:46:00 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

I'm not a slave-- I'm a servant. For me, there's a distinction. I realize that may not be the case for many people here and that's okay---it's just not who I am.


I keep trying to explain this difference to people, with almost no success. It's difficult, because this is exactly what I'm looking for -- a servant, who serves because xhe loves being -in- service, just as I love managing a household. I find that those whose calling is in service -do- tend to have outside work where they are -also- in service, and they seem to get more fulfillment out of jobs that respect and use those talents than someone who is seeking a different dynamic (a punishment dynamic or forced-behavior dynamic, for example).

Servants aren't a dime a dozen. They're rare -- especially those who can serve in almost any situation, without there having to be a ring or romantic overtures involved. And, at least for us, they're cherished, because they're not easy to find, and for every dozen individuals we train, we may only find -one- bone-deep servant in the lot (SR says my numbers are off -- that it's closer to one in 30!)


Calla

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Training ?????? - 9/11/2010 5:06:10 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

Servants aren't a dime a dozen. They're rare -- especially those who can serve in almost any situation, without there having to be a ring or romantic overtures involved. And, at least for us, they're cherished, because they're not easy to find, and for every dozen individuals we train, we may only find -one- bone-deep servant in the lot (SR says my numbers are off -- that it's closer to one in 30!)


Calla


That's actually very reassuring to hear....and I tend to agree with you that there aren't a lot of servants out there.  I've met a few but not many recently.   Don't get me wrong, I enjoy discipline very much, and it's often a part of my domestic service, but there were numerous times in which the Household never laid a finger on me--that "duty" was handled by another person who I regularly played with on occasion.  (we coined her "BHM: Better Houseboy Management"....a wordplay on our landlord, called "BPM: Better Property Mgmt")

I used to work formal dinner parties for a local woman (she was just brilliant)--she had a local true Sous Chef (who happened to also be kinky) prepare a formal 10 course meal--she had a driver (who doubled as the dishwasher), and three footmen.  All in this in a tiny efficiency apartment.  Can't explain it but I swear to you--that tiny place was transformed and for those hours, I felt like I was serving at a palace.  It was totally hot!  6 amazing and beautiful Dommes around the table, 1 Master, and 5 servants waiting on them all.

(in reply to CallaFirestormBW)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Training ?????? - 9/12/2010 7:33:20 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		Ya know, I have been asked, Have you been trained? the question made me feel like a puppy in need of being paper trained. Then I heard of (gagging) "dom boot camp"; and I recall someone on this site who was charging subs to be trained. I have to say all that made me ill. In a relationship, one learns what the other requires.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Training ?????? - 9/14/2010 9:17:06 AM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

In a relationship, one learns what the other requires.


This is very true... and in a relationship with me (especially as my authority-based relationships are NOT romance-based relationships), training is required.

Calla


_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Training ?????? - 9/14/2010 6:00:46 PM   
femasoslave


Posts: 472
Joined: 5/24/2009
Status: offline 		To me what training signifies is that my Master shows me ways for me to please him more, he is a sadist, I am a masochist....he has built up my pain threshold so that it pleases him immensely. He tells me how much I mean to him and how happy I make him. Since I am first and foremost his sub/slave....that makes me extremely happy.

He has taught me what pleases him over a period of time...so I suppose that can be called 'training'.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Training ?????? - 9/26/2010 4:01:56 PM   
CelticPrince


Posts: 3613
Joined: 4/15/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Ya know, I have been asked, Have you been trained? the question made me feel like a puppy in need of being paper trained. Then I heard of (gagging) "dom boot camp"; and I recall someone on this site who was charging subs to be trained. I have to say all that made me ill. In a relationship, one learns what the other requires.


Firebird,

Excuse the delay in my reply as I have been traveling. Grins, indeed training means different things to different people. Exposure to a desire may often be all that is required. For many that works fine as I believe is appropriate; however there are those that simply do not have a clue as to what a particular Dom/Domme would desire.

Often the "D" has little clue as to how to articulate what suits them best. That is where time comes in and so few really understand the value of time.

CP

(in reply to Firebirdseeking)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Training ?????? - 9/27/2010 2:04:27 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		i like the concept of training/ teaching/ being manipulated/ being initiated

it was a steep learning curb when i first started fucking
it took quite some practise to deep throat properly
it was interesting to learn the joys of ass fucking
and then there was that time when i was instructed to present myself properly...

and then of course there is the more mundane stuff like setting a table, ironing and cooking and doing the books...

ah well, you can't always have sex

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Training ?????? - 9/27/2010 2:06:36 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		pst... thats what the little blue pills are for

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Training ?????? - 9/27/2010 2:17:12 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline 		haha... and how is that working for you then? even with blue pills obviously you need a break every now and then... if it's only to make the odd comment on CM... don't you find you get heat rash, friction burns or just generally worn out holes being at it always?

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Training ?????? - 9/27/2010 2:24:45 AM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline 		lol... god help me if Master ever gets his hands on those "blue pills"

but, nothing down there gets "wore out".. an occassional friction burn can be delightful!

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to ranja)
Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Training ?????? - 9/27/2010 2:27:38 AM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline 		I imagine that 'training' in its generic sense is divising and embedding certain behaviour aimed at having your needs met. Again....'needs' being generic...as her well-being is in your interests too.

A related question is: training to what extent? And I suppose that depends on the things you value in your life....e.g. you may place a peaceful existence above constant/regular 'training'.....and perhaps this would lead you to find a partner who has her life in order and all you need to do is shave off a few rough edges....as opposed to finding a partner who needs a lot of work. I would certainly put myself in the 'life's too short' category.....yes there is a need to shave off a few rough edges..always will be as presumably your needs are specific to you...but I ain't got the time/will/patience/inclination...to build someone from scratch.

In terms of 'breaking someone'.....this one always surprises me....presumably you've picked a partner because she can provide a lot of the things you value....why break that? I suppose the answer for some would be in order to establish your authority/power/hold over her.....then you'd have to argue that fear/anxiety are superior activating tools......in the long term....to authority through the positive factors you can bring to her life....

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to CelticPrince)
Profile   Post #: 160
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