RE: Confused and afraid of dying

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daddysliloneds -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 9:09:28 AM)
i went through EXACTLY everything you are describing at 35 years old; right down to the cancer scares from the doctors and the suggestions for a hysterectomy... the more i worried, the worse things got! i bled for a year straight, sometimes so heavy that using two tampons at once with an over-night pad only managed to keep me from bleeding all over myself for an hour at best. i had to take pre-natal vitamins to keep my iron levels up... i, like yourself, had already arranged for my own death... guess what it ended up being? menopause!!!

sexyred1 -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 9:25:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 To those of you who have never experienced this situation FIRST HAND, I would caution you not to advise the OP to not do research. Research and second and third opinions are life savers. Information is knowledge and knowledge gives you choices. and options. To advice against that is simply ludicrous. Take it from me. I agree with this however, IMO if you dont have a full diagnosis you are only guessing on what to research. Well of course. I never make comments on health issues lightly or randomly on this forum unless I have first hand experience. I had written to the OP privately early on in the discussion and every thing I wrote her was echoed in some fashion later on. My best advice is get a good doctor and second opinions and once diganosed for sure, go in armed with questions.

maybemaybenot -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 9:27:41 AM)
Defiantbadgirl: Did the MD really say she would do a cone biopsy immediately follwed by a hysterectomy ? Or did she say: they would do a cone biopsy, wait for the frozen biopsy results < while you were under >, and then if neccesary do the hysterectomy while you were under ? The latter makes more sense. It does not make sense that the MD would take a biopsy, then do a hysterctomy without a pathology report. It also would set them up for a lawsuit. I'm asking in part from what has been suggested as to bringing a friend along to " hear " the information that you are " hearing ". So often our brains shut down and hear information differently due to " overload " and fear. It's perfectly normal. Were the abnormal cells found on a Pap Smear ? If so, did the MD tell you what stage your Pap came back ? A stage I Pap shows abnormal cells and is followed by a conization or cryosurgery and the incidence of the cells being cancerous is very low. So knowing what stage you have would be benificial information for you. If it is a Stage I, while you may worry, it's our nature to imagine the worst case, you have a huge percentage of success on your side. I would suggest you call the MD and set up a face to face meeting, bring your Sir, or a friend along, have alist of questions prepared and get all the information you can from your MD. Ask her about all options and risks associated with each option. Do not hold back, ask all the question you want and ask them until you get a satisfactory answer. Remember the decision/course of treatment is yours. If you want a second opinion, absolutely do so. but if you have a relationship with this MD and you trust this MD then stay where you are. Quite honestly, if the biopsy results are Stage ( fill in the blank ) then it is pretty uniform treatment. Your options won't vary much. It will still come down to you chosing what is best for you. mbmbn mbmbn

KatyLied -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 9:52:43 AM)
I would urge you to seek a second opinion and really be completely clear on exactly what the dx and stage of your cancer is. It makes a huge difference in the course of treatment. Also do not jump to any conclusions regarding what your outcome will be and remember that your mind and your attitude brings a lot to bear on how your body will react to healing. I wish you well.

angelikaJ -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 12:14:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KatyLied I would urge you to seek a second opinion and really be completely clear on exactly what the dx and stage of your cancer is. It makes a huge difference in the course of treatment. Also do not jump to any conclusions regarding what your outcome will be and remember that your mind and your attitude brings a lot to bear on how your body will react to healing. I wish you well. She has not been diagnosed with cancer as of yet; abnormal cells were found on her PAP smear.

Rule -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 2:22:27 PM)
Cool down.

Zevar -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 2:39:45 PM)
You are in my prayers.

Aswad -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 3:47:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 Research and second and third opinions are life savers. Agreed. quote: Information is knowledge and knowledge gives you choices. and options. *Correct* information gives you choices and options. Gathering correct information requires a *calm* mind, *references* to check the information against, and attention to some *basic principles. First and foremost, from general medical practice: an atypical presentation of a common* affliction is more likely than an uncommon affliction. And going by what other posters have commented, it would seem that principle alone would suggest that this is not a time to count the facehuggers before they hatch. I've not (obviously) been in this situation firsthand, but I have experienced firsthand how fear and premature worries can seriously bias what one looks for, and can make it that much harder to arrive at a correct conclusion in the end. Health, al-Aswad.

switchingcrone -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 6:21:23 PM)
I hesitated to post this publicly but... I have had abnormal cervical cells before and it was painful but simple procedure to repair. If it hadn't worked they would have had to get more radical. So please have faith your doctors can do things to help you. Secondly I have a friend at work who has had the cancer you are afraid you have. She had the radical Histor. She went through 6 doses of Chemo lost her hair but is in complete remission and is indeed not DEAD and continues to live a long full life. If she can survive it in her 60's so can you considering your alot younger. Please update us as you see fit as I am sure many of us will hav you in our prayers.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 6:56:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot Defiantbadgirl: Did the MD really say she would do a cone biopsy immediately follwed by a hysterectomy ? Or did she say: they would do a cone biopsy, wait for the frozen biopsy results < while you were under >, and then if neccesary do the hysterectomy while you were under ? Were the abnormal cells found on a Pap Smear ? If so, did the MD tell you what stage your Pap came back ? mbmbn She mentioned abnormal cells. I wasn't aware they could stage cancer from a pap smear. I will ask her. To answer your other question she said she would do a cone biopsy and wait for the frozen results. She said if it was pre-cancer and not actual cancer (in other words abnormal cells that haven't turned cancerous yet) she would proceed with a hysterectomy to prevent cancer but leave my ovaries . She said if it showed cancer, not pre-cancer, she would not do the hysterectomy and would send me to a cancer doctor who would probably do a radical hysterectomy (everything would go including ovaries) followed by radiation. In other words, I need a hysterectomy regardless of the results. When I told her I would lose my job if I had a hysterectomy because the company I work for won't keep my position open for 2-3 months while I recover, she said it was better for me to lose my job than to lose my life. So even if I'm lucky enough to have pre-cancer and not cancer, with the economy the way it is I'm screwed financially.

KatyLied -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 7:04:36 PM)
Read about pap smears, the results definitely are staged. Google pap smear results and you can find about the Bethesda System. This is information you need to know when you discuss results with your doctor. Also, not all surgery takes 3 months of recuperation. I have a desk job (no lifting) and only lost 20 work days after major abdominal (cancer) surgery. You need to slow down and get all of the information before jumping to all of these conclusions regarding the outcome.

maybemaybenot -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 7:13:07 PM)
No, they can't stage cancer from a Pap. Maybe I mispoke. Pap Smear reads the normalcy or abnormalcy of the cervix cells. And the results are divided onto four groups, by severity of abnormality. Sorry for the confusion. Won't the FMLA cover your absence ? I don't know what you do, but if you have a desk top job, you can be back to work in 4 or 5 weeks, if it's just a hysterectomy without complications. mbmbn

KatyLied -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 7:16:10 PM)
You can definitely return to work early, if you have something like a desk job, without a lot of lifting. I requested early release from my surgeon and had no trouble getting it.

TribeTziyon -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 7:16:45 PM)
I was out six weeks with it. You don't have to loose everything. You need to get a second and maybe a third opinion. Best wishes for you.

defiantbadgirl -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 7:25:53 PM)
I don't have a desk job with no lifting. I tried to find an office job in the past but was turned down even by temporary agencies because I can't type 65 words a minute. I do have call center experience but there are no call centers anywhere near my area. Also, call centers have changed on what they look for. They will hire a fast typist before they will hire someone with experience. I walked into a call center that was hiring about 4 years ago (before I moved here) telling them I had 8 years experience but they weren't interested because I wasn't fast enough on the typing test. Also, I can't just pack up and move because I own my home.

angelikaJ -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 8:36:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl quote: ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot Defiantbadgirl: Did the MD really say she would do a cone biopsy immediately follwed by a hysterectomy ? Or did she say: they would do a cone biopsy, wait for the frozen biopsy results < while you were under >, and then if neccesary do the hysterectomy while you were under ? Were the abnormal cells found on a Pap Smear ? If so, did the MD tell you what stage your Pap came back ? mbmbn She mentioned abnormal cells. I wasn't aware they could stage cancer from a pap smear. I will ask her. To answer your other question she said she would do a cone biopsy and wait for the frozen results. She said if it was pre-cancer and not actual cancer (in other words abnormal cells that haven't turned cancerous yet) she would proceed with a hysterectomy to prevent cancer but leave my ovaries . She said if it showed cancer, not pre-cancer, she would not do the hysterectomy and would send me to a cancer doctor who would probably do a radical hysterectomy (everything would go including ovaries) followed by radiation. In other words, I need a hysterectomy regardless of the results. When I told her I would lose my job if I had a hysterectomy because the company I work for won't keep my position open for 2-3 months while I recover, she said it was better for me to lose my job than to lose my life. So even if I'm lucky enough to have pre-cancer and not cancer, with the economy the way it is I'm screwed financially. Since defiantbadgirl may have my posts hidden, I think this may be futile: The doctor you have seen has told you that a hysterectomy is necessary no matter what. Several people here have given you examples of why that is possibly and even probably wrong information. Abnormal cells are not necessarily all precancerous. Pre-cancerous cells do not always become cancer. Here is good information explaining it from the University of Maryland: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/cervical-dysplasia-000034.htm "Cervical dysplasia is a condition characterized by the abnormal growth of cells on the surface of the cervix, indicating either precancerous or cancerous cells. The condition is classified as low-grade or high-grade, depending on the extent of the abnormal cell growth. Low-grade cervical dysplasia progresses very slowly and typically resolves on its own. High-grade cervical dysplasia can lead to cervical cancer. Without treatment, 30 - 50% of cases of severe cervical dysplasia progress to invasive cancer. The risk of cancer is lower for mild dysplasia." There are 4 treatments listed here: none of which is hysterectomy: "Surgical removal of abnormal tissue is the most common method of treating cervical dysplasia. Ninety percent of these procedures can be done in an outpatient setting. These procedures include: •Cryocauterization -- Cryocauterization uses extreme cold to destroy abnormal cervical tissue. This is the simplest and safest procedure, and it usually destroys 99% of the abnormal tissue. Cryocauterization is frequently performed without anesthesia. •Laser therapy -- Lasers destroy abnormal cervical tissue with less scarring than cryocauterization. Lasers are more costly than cryocauterization, are performed with local anesthesia, and have a 90% cure rate. •Loop electrosurgical excision (LEEP) -- During a LEEP, a thin loop wire excises visible patches of abnormal cervical tissue. LEEP is performed with local anesthesia and has a 90% cure rate. •Cervical conization -- During a cervical conization, a small cone-shaped sample of abnormal tissue is removed from the cervix. Cervical conization requires general anesthesia and has a 70 - 98% cure rate, depending on whether cancer cells have spread beyond the cervix." (The cone biopsy can have the lowest rate of cure) Perhaps, and I might just be jaded here, she is going for the most expensive option because it is better for her bottom line. You are not locked into only this one possibility of treatment. You have options. For whatever reason, you do not seem to be hearing that... . You deserve a second opinion. There are programs that can help with medical costs. Try to breathe. Seriously-- relax and breathe, your brain and body need oxygen. Your body can not relax without it and your brain can not think. You do not know if you have cancer. If you do, someone else will be doing the hysterectomy. If you don't, in all likelyhood, you don't need one. Find another doctor.

sexyred1 -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 8:50:53 PM)
And here is the thing: if one needs a hysterectomy when all is said and done, it is not the end of life as we know it. There is a very special type of surgery I told the OP about called the Da Vinci. It truly has been a god send for women experiencing this issue. Millions of women get reproductive cancers and millions get hysterectomies and millions still live, are now cancer free and are going on with life, because.....that is what you do.

Rule -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/28/2010 9:01:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: angelikaJ The doctor you have seen has told you that a hysterectomy is necessary no matter what. Several people here have given you examples of why that is possibly and even probably wrong information. Abnormal cells are not necessarily all precancerous. Pre-cancerous cells do not always become cancer. Here is good information explaining it from the University of Maryland: http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/cervical-dysplasia-000034.htm "Cervical dysplasia is a condition characterized by the abnormal growth of cells on the surface of the cervix, indicating either precancerous or cancerous cells. The condition is classified as low-grade or high-grade, depending on the extent of the abnormal cell growth. Low-grade cervical dysplasia progresses very slowly and typically resolves on its own. High-grade cervical dysplasia can lead to cervical cancer. Without treatment, 30 - 50% of cases of severe cervical dysplasia progress to invasive cancer. The risk of cancer is lower for mild dysplasia." There are 4 treatments listed here: none of which is hysterectomy: "Surgical removal of abnormal tissue is the most common method of treating cervical dysplasia. Ninety percent of these procedures can be done in an outpatient setting. These procedures include: •Cryocauterization -- Cryocauterization uses extreme cold to destroy abnormal cervical tissue. This is the simplest and safest procedure, and it usually destroys 99% of the abnormal tissue. Cryocauterization is frequently performed without anesthesia. •Laser therapy -- Lasers destroy abnormal cervical tissue with less scarring than cryocauterization. Lasers are more costly than cryocauterization, are performed with local anesthesia, and have a 90% cure rate. •Loop electrosurgical excision (LEEP) -- During a LEEP, a thin loop wire excises visible patches of abnormal cervical tissue. LEEP is performed with local anesthesia and has a 90% cure rate. •Cervical conization -- During a cervical conization, a small cone-shaped sample of abnormal tissue is removed from the cervix. Cervical conization requires general anesthesia and has a 70 - 98% cure rate, depending on whether cancer cells have spread beyond the cervix." (The cone biopsy can have the lowest rate of cure) Perhaps, and I might just be jaded here, she is going for the most expensive option because it is better for her bottom line. You are not locked into only this one possibility of treatment. You have options. You deserve a second opinion. There are programs that can help with medical costs. Try to breathe. Seriously-- relax and breathe, your brain and body need oxygen. Your body can not relax without it and your brain can not think. You do not know if you have cancer. If you do, someone else will be doing the hysterectomy. If you don't, in all likelyhood, you don't need one. Find another doctor. Her gynecologist may herself be hysterical. Cool down, dbg. Do research, but do not jump to any conclusions before the test results are in and that cyst has been removed. That cyst may cause some, most or all of your problems.

daddysliloneds -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/29/2010 6:53:46 AM)
that's a wealth of information that people who are POSITIVE they are dying probably won't read, just as mine regarding my exact same symptoms and prognosis ended up being menopause... sometimes there's no arguing with a presumably dead man; some people will only believe what they choose to believe. i wish you well defiantbadgirl but also wish you'd listen to someone else besides your current doctor.

whis31 -> RE: Confused and afraid of dying (8/29/2010 11:53:14 AM)
defiantbadgirl, I have gone thru 6 years of abnormal pap smears. At one point I was seeing the doc every 3 months. I have gone thru 2 cervical biopsy's both neg and a uterine biopsy also neg. My doc and a I choice to do an endometrial ablation. Which was just done less then 7 days ago. There are other options out there. Please take a deep breath and slow down. If you wish to talk off line please cmail me.

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