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RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/11/2010 5:35:22 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline
Master has done so much to help my self-image. I have always felt I was ugly and fat and unattractive (even though I look back on pictures of myself, curvy and 130 pounds when I was 19 and go 'whoa, wish I'd known then that I was hot'). But being with my Master has finally quieted some of the evil voice telling me I am unacceptable because I've got about 40 extra pounds now.

First, he simply doesn't allow me to say bad things about myself. I am always reprimanded if I try or start doing so without realizing it. And he is simply so flattering to me in honest ways that I eventually simply couldn't put myself down anymore, because it was so obvious he truly finds me enticing and sexy as hell.

One of the most powerful things he does... is just watch me. When we are together, he will often simply sit on the end of the bed or in his chair and watch me while I brush my hair or wash my face or get dressed. It always makes me blush and eventually I'll ask him, "What?" because I think he wants something from me or he's noticed something wrong. And he simply replies, "I like watching you, it pleases me to do so" and commands I go on about whatever it was I was doing. It's so powerful to me. That he wants to watch me, that he takes such honest joy in doing nothing more than just seeing me in motion on a mundane task.

The other thing he does which speaks to me powerfully is more of a scening thing. When we are sexual, he is open and brutally honest about what he likes about taking me. He combines dirty talk and name-calling into this fabulous mix of depraved flattery that just resonates with me when I'm in that vulnerable submissive sexual headspace. For example, during our last visit, we experimented much more intensely with cropping. Seeing just how much I could take, just how intense I could handle and still enjoy, because I was still somewhat new to cropping (turned out I could take a hell of a lot, lol). While he was cropping me, he kept saying things like... "God, you are such a good little whore, my dirty wet little slut, I LOVE how your ass jiggles when the crop smacks it. Beautiful... that ass was MADE for being beaten".

He knows I'm very sensitive about my ass, I think it's too big, too fat. So it's very humiliating to me to hear him say things like that. But it's also... so complimentary, so viscerally uplifting that slowly it changes my view of myself towards something more positive.

God, I am blushing like mad just posting this... going to stop now, lol. Apologies for being so... graphic.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/11/2010 7:36:02 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I've known too many women that get squirmy and uncomfortable when complimented.  I'd like to help my next sub get past that, if she's got that problem.

I foresee a scene in which I make a submissive strip naked, and compliment her on aspects of her body, her style, her sense of humor, etc., and she is forced to reply "Thank you" to each one.  I don't know what you'd call a scene like that, sort of an antihumiliation scene.

Anyone ever do something like that?  It sounds hot as hell to me.

Not quite like that no, but I've been with partners who were uncomfortable with their bodies. In my experience it takes a lot of time, a lot of care, and reinforcement before I was believed. The biggest hurdle I faced was the belief I was just putting her on, trying to make her feel better. Hell, it didn't really sink in until she started carrying herself more confidently, and got more compliments from strangers. That's when the whole 'maybe he really does mean it' part kicked in.

Just wanted to put that out there, because ye gods, beautiful sexy woman ... but if she doesn't believe in herself well, good luck.

Now, as for something like what you're talking about. I've done many different things, but a personal favorite is to have her stand still. And to walk around her slowly, describing how she looks in my eyes. And describing her reactions to what I tell her, and how I like or don't like them. Then I'll run my hands over her, focusing on one part of her body at a time. And then comes the undressing, almost like a strip tease .. except I'm the one stripping her down, letting her see how much I'm enjoying it, enjoying her.

By the time she's undressed she's far from shy and unsure of herself, feeling very sexy. The trick is positive reinforcement over time, and getting her to believe you and herself.


_____________________________

Just some guy (profile)
Just a tiny bit evil
My kind of love song

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/11/2010 9:29:42 PM   
Alphakenny1


Posts: 3
Joined: 2/19/2010
Status: offline
There's one simple problem with complimenting day to day: it limits the Dom.

1. The sub may not hear him or pretend she didn't hear him
*2. The sub has a body image issue.
3. Her voice will be drowned out by tv, etc hiding her "thank you" 

* The Dom likely knows complimenting a fully clothed sub is not effective, in this case. He requires her full attention and her whole body full exposed. He wants proper eye contact, etc in order to achieve maximum results.

Plus, he probably compliments her day to day in several controlled situations.

< Message edited by Alphakenny1 -- 9/11/2010 9:33:46 PM >

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/11/2010 9:34:29 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: styxxUK

Maybe I am missing something here - but the idea of this being a "scene" somehow sounds somewhat wrong to me. Would it not be better to simply tell her every day whilst shopping / when you go out together ..... and in more inimates respects whilst sessioning her how beautiful she (and her body) is ??



Dunno which is better.  Your suggestion involves something low intensity, repeated often, in places that are public and everyday.  I'm talking intense sessions in places under my control.  The end result should be the same but the headspace will be very different.



Actually both ideas have merit. The first is something that should just happen naturally in the daily course of a relationship. I have never been with anyone who did not compliment me alot, and I always accepted. If I had an issue, he would also be supportive.

In the intense scene, that would seem to me, to be coming from a control/sexual place,where one might be distrustful of the realism of the compliment (you know how many men when aroused say anything) instead of just a normal, everyday compliment.

But again, I am not the type of woman who does not like compliments so perhaps I cannot identify with the scene situation fully.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 9/11/2010 9:35:34 PM >

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/12/2010 10:56:17 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
~ Fast Reply ~

I just lost 70 pounds.  I still see a big woman when I look in the mirror. The communication between my eyes and brain is a little slow, and hasn't caught up to show me the body I have now, versus the body I used to have.

My owner said it's time to start dresssing me up as his "eye candy" at home, with sexy lingerie and fun clothes, so I can start seeing what he sees.  Often he puts his arms around me and laughs a comment like "Where did you GO?!?!"  Or I'll catch him staring at me admirably from across the room (best compliment, ever, in my opinion). 

I think the OP is a fine idea but making it a "scene" might make it feel contrived, in which case it I wouldn't be able to accept it for its good intentions.  If it's something that just happens without a lot of planning, I think it would feel more natural and genuine (like my owners glances from across the room). 

I saw profile pictures once, where the woman was totally naked and had writing all over her body, such as "I am beautiful"  "Stunning"  "Amazing human being" - stuff like that.  It was touching to see.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/12/2010 11:29:22 AM   
Madame4a


Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline
I've done it... objectification.. a nice alternative to humiliation and it can be just as hot on both ends of it...

_____________________________

You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/12/2010 12:26:53 PM   
ImperfectLady


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/6/2010
Status: offline
positive reinforcement?  Kudos.  Great idea.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/12/2010 8:38:39 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline
Master compliments me all the time so I guess something like this would just feel like most of the times he compliments me. There's no need to make it a scene. And being nude doesn't make me feel vulnerable in any way with Master...maybe just because I'm used to it.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 12:24:44 AM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

The nakedness is to make her vulnerable.

Humiliation breaks someone down.  I want to build her up.



I think I love you DS

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 12:28:10 AM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50


quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

And then there are some of us that can handle being in lingerie but are mortified and acutely embarrassed to be completely naked. blushing If I were ordered to be completely naked, I'd be begging profusely for lingerie!


Ahhh, you submissives play perfectly into our hands.... lol Yet another reason for being fully clothed while she gets to wear heels and a smile, esp a sheepish one.

I like being a Dom anyway but if subs insist on doing all their own headspace for me....

Focus.



This is why being sub is sometimes so delicious.
I love this 'scene', the utter vulnerability of it. And it plays a lot in my fantasies.

_____________________________

Jesus died to forgive our sins. Dare we make his martyrdom meaningless by not committing them? —Jules Feiffer
Don't be fooled by the pretty words and sweet face.. sarcasm is the norm not the exception.



(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 2:49:48 AM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
i think for me its the focus - i get incredibly uncomfy when the focus spot light hits me -

ive had a couple of Masters insist on cupping my face in their hands to look at me until i stopped squirming away, wow thats uncomfortable!!  - another one once had me sitting astride him so he could watch my breasts bounce, i kept holding them because it embarrassed me and each time i did he slapped my thigh in the same place.  anything that focuses on any part of me is acute discomfort time.

and yet oddly im more comfy with myself naked now than when i was younger and firmer - so i think something like that would break down huge barriers for me, but it would take an awful long time to get me there, it would be a struggle i think, but worth it.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to twistedwillow)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 5:19:04 AM   
Carouselambra


Posts: 99
Joined: 9/9/2010
Status: offline
This is the reason why we can't have bad things together, dark steven.You start speaking all nice like this and it just turns me off.


:P


_____________________________

If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia. -Thomas Szasz

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 7:20:53 AM   
lapgirl


Posts: 116
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Shadow-tiger

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

I've known too many women that get squirmy and uncomfortable when complimented.  I'd like to help my next sub get past that, if she's got that problem.

I foresee a scene in which I make a submissive strip naked, and compliment her on aspects of her body, her style, her sense of humor, etc., and she is forced to reply "Thank you" to each one.  I don't know what you'd call a scene like that, sort of an antihumiliation scene.

Anyone ever do something like that?  It sounds hot as hell to me.

Not quite like that no, but I've been with partners who were uncomfortable with their bodies. In my experience it takes a lot of time, a lot of care, and reinforcement before I was believed. The biggest hurdle I faced was the belief I was just putting her on, trying to make her feel better. Hell, it didn't really sink in until she started carrying herself more confidently, and got more compliments from strangers. That's when the whole 'maybe he really does mean it' part kicked in.

Just wanted to put that out there, because ye gods, beautiful sexy woman ... but if she doesn't believe in herself well, good luck.

Now, as for something like what you're talking about. I've done many different things, but a personal favorite is to have her stand still. And to walk around her slowly, describing how she looks in my eyes. And describing her reactions to what I tell her, and how I like or don't like them. Then I'll run my hands over her, focusing on one part of her body at a time. And then comes the undressing, almost like a strip tease .. except I'm the one stripping her down, letting her see how much I'm enjoying it, enjoying her.

By the time she's undressed she's far from shy and unsure of herself, feeling very sexy. The trick is positive reinforcement over time, and getting her to believe you and herself.



(in reply to Shadow-tiger)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 7:23:51 AM   
lapgirl


Posts: 116
Joined: 1/5/2006
Status: offline
ok, so i shot a blank.... i completely agree with what Shadow tiger states, she has got to believe. You can pay compliments all day, have her repeat what you say but if she doesn't believe it, its all for not.

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 11:46:04 AM   
Badmanbad


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/27/2010
Status: offline
Yes, I have done a "scene" like this.

The best advice I can give you is to think out EVERYTHING you are going to say before hand.  She will never, ever forget your words.  Years after the event, my girl would bring up something I said that night and giggle - I said, "Tiny little elbows," because I had a moment of brain-fart while kissing down her arm.  So don't wing it.  Think of the words you'll use for every part of her, be poetic, be romantic, be eloquent, or you'll hear, "Tiny little elbows," forever.

(in reply to lapgirl)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 1:22:00 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
Pictures of the tiny little elbows in question or it didn't happen! 

(I'm kidding, just in case you thought I was actually demanding pictures )


_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.




(in reply to Badmanbad)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 1:58:42 PM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

i think for me its the focus - i get incredibly uncomfy when the focus spot light hits me -



Me ears are burnin'...!

But no caps, girl???

Focus.


_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 2:19:54 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

Master has done so much to help my self-image. I have always felt I was ugly and fat and unattractive (even though I look back on pictures of myself, curvy and 130 pounds when I was 19 and go 'whoa, wish I'd known then that I was hot'). But being with my Master has finally quieted some of the evil voice telling me I am unacceptable because I've got about 40 extra pounds now.

First, he simply doesn't allow me to say bad things about myself. I am always reprimanded if I try or start doing so without realizing it. And he is simply so flattering to me in honest ways that I eventually simply couldn't put myself down anymore, because it was so obvious he truly finds me enticing and sexy as hell.

One of the most powerful things he does... is just watch me. When we are together, he will often simply sit on the end of the bed or in his chair and watch me while I brush my hair or wash my face or get dressed. It always makes me blush and eventually I'll ask him, "What?" because I think he wants something from me or he's noticed something wrong. And he simply replies, "I like watching you, it pleases me to do so" and commands I go on about whatever it was I was doing. It's so powerful to me. That he wants to watch me, that he takes such honest joy in doing nothing more than just seeing me in motion on a mundane task.

The other thing he does which speaks to me powerfully is more of a scening thing. When we are sexual, he is open and brutally honest about what he likes about taking me. He combines dirty talk and name-calling into this fabulous mix of depraved flattery that just resonates with me when I'm in that vulnerable submissive sexual headspace. For example, during our last visit, we experimented much more intensely with cropping. Seeing just how much I could take, just how intense I could handle and still enjoy, because I was still somewhat new to cropping (turned out I could take a hell of a lot, lol). While he was cropping me, he kept saying things like... "God, you are such a good little whore, my dirty wet little slut, I LOVE how your ass jiggles when the crop smacks it. Beautiful... that ass was MADE for being beaten".

He knows I'm very sensitive about my ass, I think it's too big, too fat. So it's very humiliating to me to hear him say things like that. But it's also... so complimentary, so viscerally uplifting that slowly it changes my view of myself towards something more positive.

God, I am blushing like mad just posting this... going to stop now, lol. Apologies for being so... graphic.


I just wanted to say that was totally hot. Lucky girl. :)

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 8:08:19 PM   
HisEvelyn


Posts: 252
Joined: 1/21/2010
Status: offline
I am a very lucky girl, Red. Thanks for noticing. :) ::smooches::

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Anyone ever do a scene like this? - 9/13/2010 9:44:16 PM   
junecleaver


Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline
I could lay around naked with a vanilla lover and do the same thing.  I love being carressed and complimented and adored.  It just common sense to tell a beautiful woman that she is beautiful.  Especially when there is nothing to cover it up.  Plus, I always say thank you.  Rejecting compliments is annoying and borderline offensive.

My favorite version of this....being in the bath while someone soaps me up, washes my hair, and tells me how gorgeous I am in that soft sultry voice.  Yummm. 

Now...if this were to take place in a public venue with other people watching....that might elicit a different response.  I've never done it but would love to try.

_____________________________


"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to HisEvelyn)
Profile   Post #: 60
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