RE: Of men and women... the dating game (Full Version)

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phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 12:19:14 AM)

a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?

i think when i was younger the answer was yes now i would say no

b) Do you believe that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?

from my personal experience yes

c) Do you think a male's status/income is a significant driver in "attractiveness"?

no at least not from my experience however, i know some women who the answer is definatly yes

d) Do you believe (in broad brush strokes) that women select for "personality" while men select for "beauty"?

the stero type seems to be yes but i believe no


e) Do you believe men are more likely than women to deceive in order to increase their chances?

no




DesFIP -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 8:04:53 AM)

yes
yes
no, if so no lower class males would ever marry
no with the qualifier for first meet. I think both sexes are pretty much even on first meet. But males will stay with a pretty partner with poor personality longer than females will.
Don't know.



shivermetimbers -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 8:35:08 AM)

A. Yes
B. No
C. No
D. No (If we are talking about a life partner, I believe both men and women look for someone that they feel fits them in every way)
E. No (I don't know if "deceit is meant to assume "lies".  Makeup and clothing is used to deceit and hide also) And again, it depends on what you mean by "chances". Are you talking a romp in the sack, or a relationship?



domiguy -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 9:06:12 AM)

Point taken.



gungadin09 -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 10:19:17 AM)

God, i wasn't trying to argue. Sorry. Sometimes i don't know when to shut up.

i miss school, though. Cleaning windows all day isn't very intellectual. i sort of use the forums as a kind of over-compensation. Like, i just HAVE to feel smart, or something. Anyway, sorry.

pam



Twoshoes -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 10:27:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09
Anyway, i think that's right. but i definitely think they should start giving that as a word problem in school. How many sexual partners does it take... Can you imagine?

pam


Well, pam, that is an excellent idea. However, you forget that students like to come up with ways to annoy their teachers.

They might argue:
- you should include homosexual encounters
-or that you'd use the median instead of the mean,
-or that men had these extra sexual encounters with:
A) Aliens
B) Female robots
D) Women who don't count.*

In the end, everyone would fail.
*All the feminists would be offended due to the omission of some women.
Lots of robots would be broken while testing.

And surely some wacky know-it-all will try to prove that aliens exist. Sexy aliens, at that. [;)] Rainbow-coloured.[sm=dancer.gif]

I now have a new fantasy. Thank you.
[image]http://i51.tinypic.com/2141508.jpg[/image]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 10:28:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Hey RS and I are in total agreement! :)

'cause I'm old school and brutally honest, like you.

[:)][:)][:)][:)][:)]



OMG I just saw this!~ I love you, man!! [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]



CallaFirestormBW -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 10:46:00 AM)

quote:

a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?

No, I don't believe that men necessarily have more partners over a lifetime than women, when left to their own devices, without cultural manipulation.

quote:

b) Do you believe that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?

I do not believe that men are biologically, intellectually, or philosophically more likely to be "unfaithful". However, there is, again, the issue that shifting cultural definitions about what "faithfulness" means tend to confuse and cloud the issue.

quote:

c) Do you think a male's status/income is a significant driver in "attractiveness"?

Yes, I believe that between males and females, on an instinctual level, there tends to be a 'seeking' for security. I believe that, for men, this is resolved by bringing a mate to one's own territory -- this implies ownership on an instinctual level, and satisfies the male desire for security about the relationship. I also believe that , for women, though, there is the instinctive search for the "good provider".

I believe that, in our current culture, this capacity to provide is reflected -not- in physical capability, but in financial prosperity. Therefore, women are willing to overlook less promising physiological characteristics in favor of the presence of the "skilled provider".

quote:

d) Do you believe (in broad brush strokes) that women select for "personality" while men select for "beauty"?

Men -and- women are both attracted -first- by physiological traits. However, it seems to me that men are more likely to continue to accept the physical state as the primary factor in determining the selection of a mate, while women tend to look beneath the physical traits and seek out traits that would indicate that a given male is going to provide a safe home for bearing offspring (and this seems to happen -regardless- of whether the woman/couple are actually planning, intellectually, on having children).

quote:

e) Do you believe men are more likely than women to deceive in order to increase their chances?


I believe that every human being, regardless of race, gender, etc., will strive to present hirself in the best possible light, and will do everything within hir power to hide any flaws that might inhibit hir ability to obtain the "right" mate. As far as whether women are more likely than men to overtly LIE, nope, sorry -- both genders are equal, in my mind, as to whether they'll lie outright to get the mate that they think they want at the time.

Calla



leadership527 -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 11:10:49 AM)

EDITED TO ADD: I am not an anthropologist or a molecular biologist. I've only JUST begun to start digging at the behavioral and biomechanical angles on this. What that means is anything here could be incomplete, incorrect, or incorrectly interpreted. For me, these are in the category of "interesting factoids" more so than "a hard guide to males & females".

As promised. The answers. First though, a bit of explanation. It occured to me after the OP that I asked question D poorly... what someone is attracted by STARTS the selection process and filters to some degree or another... but it isn't a selection in and of itself. So I just provided the relevant data and you can interpret it as you wish. Also, it should be obvious that these are all statistical generalizations and not meant to paint a picture of any specific male or female.

a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?
No. The answer is the same for both genders as it must be mathematically. Women under-report their numbers by roughly 50% unless they think they'll be caught out in the lie... for instance... being hooked up to a polygraph. This one is pretty factual and doesn't need much interpretation.

b) Do you believe that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?
No. The numbers are almost identical. 54% men, 53% women. I looked at a few different studies... the numbers moved around a bit but they tended to be fairly equivalent. There's some interesting biomechanical stuff where you can see the roots of female cheating but there is A LOT more research and interpretation that needs to be done there. As an aside, I find it interesting that it is easy to find information on the behavioral effects of testostone yet estrogen is a lot harder to find. I don't know what to make of that.

c) Do you think a male's status/income is a significant driver in "attractiveness"?
Yes Absolutely. It is at least as important as physical appearance. If you give a bunch of females a sheet with a photo of a male, his salary, and job on it, and ask them to rate him on "attractiveness" on a scale of 1-10, job/salary can drag the score all the way from 2-8. In the end, this really shouldn't be a surprise. Men want a hottie and women want status. Both would like that in the context of someone they can live with. When you consider how important "status' is to female selection, the prevalence of "doms" trying to claim status by "training/teaching" becomes pretty simple to understand.

d) Do you believe (in broad brush strokes) that women select for "personality" while men select for "beauty"?
INTERPRETIVE DATA: Both genders select for the physical characteristics that indicate a healthy natal environment (symmetry) and high levels of testosterone or estrogen during puberty. In addition, as noted above, females add on a liberal heaping of "status" into the mix. This is what ATTRACTS people. But what they actually SELECT for is a bit harder to see. Clearly that gets into a whole lot of "past history" and god knows what else. What we do know is that given no other data, humans will pair up matching on physical beauty... the 2's stick with the 2's, etc.

e) Do you believe men are more likely than women to deceive in order to increase their chances?
No. Both genders will maximize their chances in ways they think they can get away with and within whatever they conceive of as "honor". Note the females under-reporting sexual partners by a full 50%. Note though that I didn't see much data on exactly HOW men and women exaggerate their attractiveness. One would assume that it'd be along the lines of primary drivers.

Of these, the only one I personally would've gotten right is the "money/status" one. I'd bought off on the idea that women were more honest, forthright, and committed when it comes to relationships and it just isn't so.



Twoshoes -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 1:47:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?
No. The answer is the same for both genders as it must be mathematically. Women under-report their numbers by roughly 50% unless they think they'll be caught out in the lie... for instance... being hooked up to a polygraph. This one is pretty factual and doesn't need much interpretation.


Aha! So it was a trick question all along. I was not fooled - not even for a second. (Conveniently, my first answer was a complete joke.)

I really don't have a problem with women who have had many sexual partners, personally. I love those types of people - granted, still smart enough to think about safety, condoms and the HPV vaccine.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 2:07:57 PM)

Yes x 5



leadership527 -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 2:08:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
I really don't have a problem with women who have had many sexual partners, personally. I love those types of people - granted, still smart enough to think about safety, condoms and the HPV vaccine.
I have to admit, that one baffles me too. Assuming health, I can't see any reason why a prospective partner telling me she had 30 sexual partners or 50 or 75 was anything I'd care about other than general interest.



daddysliloneds -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 2:43:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?

in my experience, yes

b) Do you believe that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?

in my experience, yes

c) Do you think a male's status/income is a significant driver in "attractiveness"?

not for me, but yes for most gals i know

d) Do you believe (in broad brush strokes) that women select for "personality" while men select for "beauty"?

nope
e) Do you believe men are more likely than women to deceive in order to increase their chances?

that's the way it's been in my world

Thanks




CaringandReal -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 2:44:45 PM)



Sure, I'll take the survey.


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527


a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?
yes

b) Do you believe that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?
no clue

c) Do you think a male's status/income is a significant driver in "attractiveness"?
no for me, yes for a majority of women. It's very hard to say how big that majority is. 60-40 would be a rough guess.

d) Do you believe (in broad brush strokes) that women select for "personality" while men select for "beauty"?
Too broad to give an answer to. "Select" needs to be defined more precisely. Select for a one-night-stand? For a brief fling? for a long-term partnership? For a death-do-us-part marriage? For a master-slave commitment?
My answer would vary depending upon what the scope of select is.

e) Do you believe men are more likely than women to deceive in order to increase their chances?
No. But it could be that men and women use different forms of deception, when they choose to decieve.





Twoshoes -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 3:08:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
I really don't have a problem with women who have had many sexual partners, personally. I love those types of people - granted, still smart enough to think about safety, condoms and the HPV vaccine.
I have to admit, that one baffles me too. Assuming health, I can't see any reason why a prospective partner telling me she had 30 sexual partners or 50 or 75 was anything I'd care about other than general interest.


Jealousy, competition, religion...




I'm going to start asking question #1 in person, because the answers are too priceless!



Elisabella -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 4:32:25 PM)

quote:



a) Do you believe men, on the average, have more sexual partners over a lifetime than women?


Yes

quote:

b) Do you believe that men are more likely to be unfaithful than women?


Sexually, yes, I think men are more likely to pursue casual sex while in a relationship whereas women who cheat usually have emotions involved or just begin a new relationship before "technically" ending the old one.

quote:

c) Do you think a male's status/income is a significant driver in "attractiveness"?


Yes, but not enough to override other deficiencies. And I think it's significant in relationship/marital attractiveness, not fawning over "omg he's so cute" attractiveness...and moreso in the negative...as in women are more likely to NOT date someone of low status than they are to specifically date someone of high status.

quote:

d) Do you believe (in broad brush strokes) that women select for "personality" while men select for "beauty"?


No but I think men have a higher bar for what constitutes "too ugly to date"

quote:


e) Do you believe men are more likely than women to deceive in order to increase their chances?


For casual sex, yes, for a relationship, no. We all want to be loved for who we really are.



Elisabella -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 4:35:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
I really don't have a problem with women who have had many sexual partners, personally. I love those types of people - granted, still smart enough to think about safety, condoms and the HPV vaccine.
I have to admit, that one baffles me too. Assuming health, I can't see any reason why a prospective partner telling me she had 30 sexual partners or 50 or 75 was anything I'd care about other than general interest.


If a man told me he'd had 75 sexual partners I'd lose interest unless the vast majority of those partners happened when he was younger and he's adamant he's changed his ways.

If he saw it as something to brag about he and I would not be compatible.



itsmeinLV -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 6:17:13 PM)

These answers are all based on my own personal experience.

a) Yes.
b) Yes and No, depending on their relationship status.
c) Yes.  Goes to women too.
d) (strokes with broad brush) Yes.
e) see answer b. 



DomImus -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 7:31:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527
I have to admit, that one baffles me too. Assuming health, I can't see any reason why a prospective partner telling me she had 30 sexual partners or 50 or 75 was anything I'd care about other than general interest.


I feel the same way. I don't ask because I don't particularly care and I don't like to be asked.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Of men and women... the dating game (9/15/2010 7:32:31 PM)

-Yes
-No
-Yes
-Partially.  I believe that men choose for beauty, but I don't believe that personality is the primary driver for women.
-Yes



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