RE: The need to be rude?!?

RE: The need to be rude?!? (Full Version)

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DesFIP -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/5/2010 1:54:06 PM)
Female subs get just as much rude email. And it is inappropriate and indeed, rather rude, to address people you don't know as dear. It says that you do not need to use your manners with them and can take inappropriate familiarities because you think you're better. Which is rather ironic since your post is about people doing just that to you. Hoist by your own petard.

samboct -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/5/2010 2:21:35 PM)
Oh, I dunno about the rudeness of a domme addressing a roomful of supposed submissives as "dears". Could just be tongue in cheek. Context matters. Had she used the same appellation in a different forum, then I think your assumption might be warranted. Cheers, Sam

Kaliko -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/5/2010 2:27:48 PM)
For the record, I didn't mind the "dears."

sunshinemiss -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/5/2010 3:12:00 PM)
Ahhhh morning folks! Orchid - I'm glad you found one of my things helpful. You see, generally speaking, folks round these parts give others the benefit of the doubt. In my head, you sounded one way, but then I put that aside and figured, meh it's cultural. I think most folks do that ... unless you call people names or do something truly over the top. I'm glad you've stuck around and didn't get cranky. Welcome to the world of anonymity which yes, does sometimes bring out the icky in people. It also brings out the truth in others. There are jerks everywhere. Consider it a good thing when the jerks identify themselves early on. best, sunshine

DesFIP -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 4:55:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: samboct Oh, I dunno about the rudeness of a domme addressing a roomful of supposed submissives as "dears". Could just be tongue in cheek. Context matters. Had she used the same appellation in a different forum, then I think your assumption might be warranted. Cheers, Sam Sorry although I see your point I still disagree. Attitudes like that assume we are all waiting around to be picked, and don't have any criteria we need in a partner. It also assumes we are all unpartnered which isn't the case. You know that they say about assume.

CaringandReal -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 5:36:58 AM)
In case it hasn't been said (but I expect it already has), perfectly nice profiles get these extremely rude emails too. They are like spam: an inevitable consequence of being online or visible. There are lots of emotionally disturbed people online, their issues drive them and if some prefectly innocent remark in your profile excites such an issue they will go all mental on you. The longer your profile, I've noticed, the more individuals you "disturb" in that fashion. :/ Just block/delete/hide these types, and, if it gets to be too much, take a break. Go someplace else for a while. The angry emails are random: some weeks you will get a lot; some not at all. They have reached the point where they are a form of spam, virtually everybody, no matter what they say or do in their profiles, gets this crap if they are visible. Browsing a lot makes you quite visible on collarme because it dumps you name to the top of the list. Sometimes, if you want to browse the profiles heavily or do research, it pays to hide your profile so you don't get random responses during that time.

samboct -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 5:50:10 AM)
Hi DesFIP Well, from a guy's perspective, she's not too far off...If she's interested in men primarily and not women, then I'd suggest cutting her a bit of slack for the faux pas. It's not grievous in my book... Cheers, Sam

DesFIP -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 5:55:38 AM)
There are taken male subs here also. Not to mention a lot of people who aren't her target audience who also are on the boards. Sorry, with her attitude I can't imagine she'll be well liked here. Plus that egregious insult to barelyangel that her avatar is of a male with breasts. Hardly the way to win friends and influence enemies.

samboct -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 6:59:50 AM)
"Plus that egregious insult to barelyangel that her avatar is of a male with breasts." Hold it- let's back up a sec, shall we? 1) Angel's profile shows up as "Not found" at least when I just checked. That means that there is no additional info about who this person is- and Orchid's comment about male/female being unknown is accurate. 2) Orchid's comment that she's seen lots of males with breasts around here can be interpreted as an insult to Angel- as you have- or it could be a somewhat snarky comment that there are a lot of men who are masquerading behind women's profiles- especially the profiles where they say No MEN pleaaaseee....on this site. That's how I interpreted it the first time I read it. Since Angel's sex is indeterminate (I think that's also supposed to be true for angels in heaven as well), it's not necessarily targeted at this person. I don't know whether Angel is male or female. My assumption is female, but that's mostly based on the avatar. And as noted previously- we know what trouble assumptions can cause. 3) Rule jumped in with the comment about having breasts as a guy- I suspect in reference to his weight- but I'm guessing here. Cheers, Sam

DesFIP -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 7:58:43 AM)
But the avatar is clearly female. Now, you are right that there are fake profiles here of females put up by men, but telling people that you believe them all to be fake is offensive. She wants to be accepted at face value but isn't willing to extend the same courtesy. And that's just poor manners.

samboct -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 8:15:11 AM)
Umm, from my perspective, if someone doesn't want to post a profile, that suggests they're hiding something. Not quite the same thing as suggesting that all profiles are fake. But I too would be less inclined to take a post from a person who does not fill out a profile or wish it to be seen at face value. Orchid has not only filled out a profile, she has her picture up. (I tried posting a body shot several times- just gave up.) Simply put- I think you're a real female. I think Orchid is too. With Angel, there is a significant element of doubt in my mind. Depending on context, I might respond differently to a post you had made compared to one that Angel has made. Cheers, Sam

Rule -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 8:26:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: samboct 2) Orchid's comment that she's seen lots of males with breasts around here 3) Rule jumped in with the comment about having breasts as a guy- I suspect in reference to his weight- but I'm guessing here. Yep, my interpretation is that she may have intended to implicate that a lot of males on CM are fat. If so, then this is a fat males thread. Myself, I was at least 86 kilograms when last I weighed myself, but it may be anywhere up to 90 (I hope not). Should I wear a bra? Do fat men wear a bra?

ResidentSadist -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 9:29:47 AM)
Besides what Steven said, you will continue to have the same "asshole factor" online as you would find in the real world. Even after the fresh meat rush of mail is over. You just gotta' weed through the idiots to find the good ones.

porcelaine -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 10:14:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Orchid62 Hello dears, I haven't been a member very long, yet in the last few days I've getting a lot of rude and impatient emails. No, my feelings are not hurt, just wondering, does a male sub get so much rejection he is always ready to lash out? Is it built in you psych to revolt when you are not getting your way? Or is it, and the this is my main concern, that nice people bring the worst out of you? Greetings Orchid, Welcome to the site. In response to your question, no, I don't believe anyone has to be rude. It is my opinion that we each make a decision when confronted with a situation that may compel us to respond in a less than flattering fashion. However, whether we choose to do so is largely dependent on ones personal makeup and presence of mind at the time. While I don't excuse boorish behavior, I recognize mistakes occur and ideas can be poorly articulated. As with most things it's up to the recipient's interpretation. Misinterpretations take place and it's impossible to gauge anyone's mind through this medium. However, it is my belief that we're each accountable for how we conduct ourselves and should remain true to our character irregardless of how the other party behaves. Responding in kind is merely an example of poor self-control and a missed opportunity to display kindness to someone that may be sorely in need of such. In the end there's a right way, wrong way, and the one you can live with. Choose wisely. Namaste, ~porcelaine

barelynangel -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 10:31:57 AM)
Wholly crap sam. If you are going to ride my ass at least 1) pull my hair and 2) have the balls to address ME. Or don't u have any? I have been on this site since 2004, my profile has been live on this site if you wanted to see it so badly you should have viewed it prior to my hiding it. Since you didn't its not my problem. I am sorry did I miss the memo making u someone of value wherein I have to explain myself? . What does having a profile mean anyway if u put much merit in them you are a fool. Next time have the integrity to address ME instead of talking about me. Others may think that is cool however by doing so to me especially with our over the top bullshit, you don't have the integrity of the hair that's on a mole on a pigs ass. I stayed out of the silliness however you just pulled me into it and you wanted a response you got one.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 10:47:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: samboct Umm, from my perspective, if someone doesn't want to post a profile, that suggests they're hiding something. Well then your perspective is kind of screwed. Plenty of people hide their profiles because they want to post on the forums without any of the spam/hassle that comes with having a profile on the other side. There's no obligation to satisfy your curiosity in order to post on the forums...

Icarys -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 10:49:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: samboct Umm, from my perspective, if someone doesn't want to post a profile, that suggests they're hiding something. Well then your perspective is kind of screwed. Plenty of people hide their profiles because they want to post on the forums without any of the spam/hassle that comes with having a profile on the other side. There's no obligation to satisfy your curiosity in order to post on the forums... Did you mean skewed? (Like your haircut)

Icarys -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 10:51:56 AM)
I'm gonna go with sams original explanation.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 10:52:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Icarys Did you mean skewed? (Like your haircut) No, I meant screwed, as in screwed up. Skewed would also have been acceptable, but that's not what I said. [8D] And I will not accept any haircut insults from a man pretending to be Keanu Reeves, y'hear?

Icarys -> RE: The need to be rude?!? (10/6/2010 11:17:39 AM)
quote: And I will not accept any haircut insults from a man pretending to be Keanu Reeves, y'hear? Can you see your bullet up there with the rest..It's just hanging there..breaking the laws of physics, y'see?[8D]

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