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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:29:55 AM

lizi

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quote:

ORIGINAL: APainfulDesire

Not a regular forum go-er but I saw this in the side bar and had to take a peek.

Focus50, you assume that we're all like that. That'd be like me assuming anyone over the age of 35 is a pedophile and would be waiting for RL meetings in an Astrovan. I still pick up pointers, I still ask or research where I need help or don't understand. I strongly agree with LadyPacts latter point that my early discovery of the lifestyle prevented a lot of terrible relationships because vanilla is just not for me.

As far as 'technological advances' ....I'm really not sure what that has to do with anything. Technology has progressed and enriched any lives. Sure some may be pointless or extraneous but as a whole why shun something that is a continual progression to make the lives of every individual easier?

Instead of scooping all us 'young folk' and making us all seem like a TV stereotype, try talking to some of them. They can be good people, trust me I checked ;]

Well OP, here's a great example of a younger type person like many others on here who seems to be comfortable being on this site doing his thing. Just for the record APainfulDesire, I think you should post more often. You seem like you've got a good head on your shoulders....oh, and welcome to the forums!

To the OP - usually you have to try something on for size to know if it fits, age is not always related to the discovery process. It can actually be irrelevent. There are plenty of older people that write in their journals that they are taking a break, or coming back to BDSM, as if it were pair of jeans to be put on and off. Who is to say they are wrong? It's their life, they make the decisions. If someone wants to try on a new pair of jeans to see if it fits then that is their perogative- it doesn't really matter what their age is.

In general it's pretty much the job of being young...trying things out for size. That's how we all get to be the people we are when we get older. You had to start somewhere yourself and that would have been at a time when you were younger than you are now.

(in reply to APainfulDesire)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:46:22 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subangel213

Are you really that ignorant to think that because we are young we can't know who we are or what we want?

I am also that ignorant.

After seeing your profile you may want to consider the ignorance of youth and how your beliefs may eventually conflict with your lifestyle choice.

< Message edited by rulemylife -- 10/18/2010 7:51:04 AM >

(in reply to subangel213)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:49:53 AM

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And I bask in your hatred, you scrummy young thing. MWAH MWAH MWAH

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:53:01 AM

MasterMartinIndy

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I just asked a question and it seems to have sparked a debate but also some hate which was not the intent at all. I am pretty much set in my ways and would never have anyone under 35 that is my choice. I just wonder how many sort out a mentor already in the lifestyle to learn of some of the dangers that lurk within. Like not all Doms are the same and the game players, pretenders on both sides of the fence. That is all I am going to say on this subject.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:59:15 AM

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The dangers that lurk within??? Is that the name of a new horror film or just your drama talking?

As others have said, age has nothing to do with it. I knew what I was into in my teen years and simply learned more about it the more I did it. There are also younger people who are far more mature than many older ones I have met.

Your question sparked hate because of the way you phrased it. As an older gentleman you should already know that the way something is said has a lot to do with the response.

(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:59:58 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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Yes I need a man on the internet to teach me common sense...

OH damned that young and foolishness of youth.....

I mean 20 year olds cant possibly have common sense, I mean when those in their early 50s haven't grasped such simple concepts, however will our youth survive....

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(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:27:13 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

I just asked a question and it seems to have sparked a debate but also some hate which was not the intent at all.

I'm not altogether sure I believe you. Your original comment was patronising in extremis, and if you didn't intend a degree of conflict to ensue then I'm somewhat baffled as to your lack of empathy. I mean, what did you expect younger people to say in reply - "oh hang on, that's a great point! I haven't got a clue what I'm doing! I'd best give up immediately and wait another twenty years before exploring the sexual or spiritual sides of my personality! Thank you so much for your wisdom, oh Great One!".

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

I just wonder how many sort out a mentor already in the lifestyle to learn of some of the dangers that lurk within. Like not all Doms are the same and the game players, pretenders on both sides of the fence.

In my experience, age is no guarantee of either competency or kindness.

I also think you're underestimating the ability of many young people to spot bullshit, lies, incompetency and bravado, and avoid same. Some get it right, some get it wrong, but the same can be said for the "experienced" sector too.

(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 8:32:16 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

I just asked a question and it seems to have sparked a debate but also some hate which was not the intent at all. I am pretty much set in my ways and would never have anyone under 35 that is my choice. I just wonder how many sort out a mentor already in the lifestyle to learn of some of the dangers that lurk within. Like not all Doms are the same and the game players, pretenders on both sides of the fence. That is all I am going to say on this subject.

I can promise you that this didn't inspire Me enough to "hate". Do I think you made a silly generalization based on a stereotype? Yeah, I do. There's no difference between someone who is twenty and new at learning that someone who is forty and just learning.

I'm pretty set in My ways, too. That doesn't mean that I can't assess a situation based on the person that I'm dealing with.

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(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:07:19 AM

Ait

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Hmph.

I've proven to the people that know me that I'm more than capable of knowing my own mind and what I want. I'm not really someone that could ever be accused of making decisions without thinking. While I do view my age bracket with some sense of skepticism, if they can follow through with some reasonable amount of common sense then I consider them to have passed the basic competency test that some large number of older kinkster/whateverthefuckyoucallems can't. Because, y'know, people are dying to get my approval. And if you don't prove to the people around you that you're for real then oh dear god, our dear sweet beloved community might go up in smoke.

The mere thought deeply upsets me. Can't you see the tears? No?

On a related note, I'd be much obliged if we could get rid of all of these 40-something vanilla people trolling for easy sex.

-karen

(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:12:50 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Good over generalization attempt you got going on there, but I am only 28, so not that far out of my "20's" and I was never like you described, neither was Daddy, and neither are the "20 something" friends I have.

One "20" something friend She's 28 or 29 also, is a mother of a 4 year old, works full time at 2 jobs and is going to school, and will graduate soon and is saving up money so she can get a car, and never once has done the oh wah wah help me pay for my car, my school, my life, it's all about me me me routine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Of course they haven't...!

What they are is "Generation ME".

Selfish, self-entitled ego-paths full of their own personal rights while not giving a rat's clacker for anyone else not in their immediate social group. Between the "me first" attitude and technological advances, it's not surprising they've infiltrated all the adult world offers.

But I dunno about the "rise" of them here. Frankly, I miss the 19yo "Masters" coming in seeking a few pointers.... <shrugs>

Focus.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:23:14 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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You don't need a mentor to tell you the pitfalls of being kinky and doing these kind of relationships, you need COMMON SENSE, and if someone lacks that, well they need more than a mentor.

I have been doing kinky thigns since I was 18, I had just turned 18, gotten on alt.com and from there was meeting people my first week on the website. I have never had a mentor, and I never needed one. I was a rational thinking for myself abled person. My common sense told me that not alldoms are good doms, and not all relationships with in kink were healthy, or safe, or ones I wanted to engage in.

My life experinces up to the point in time I started exploring, have been rough and tumble and the school of hard knocks type of thing. I wasn't no innocent cosseted wittle baby incapable of knowing there's bad bad people out there, who will hurt you if you're not smart and take care of yourself.

Hell even if you are smart, now and then bad people still get through your defenses.

I never cared for this concept that youngens * hell any one* needed mentors, and I don't cotton to the idea of protectors and mentors who help you screen potential partners cause you can't do a good enough job on your own, I feel, if you need someone to hold your hand an help you pick partners, you got something wrong with you, you need to work on and fix BEFORE engaging in kink.

Now if there's a particular skill someone wanted to learn, and learn correctly, then finding someone knowledgable to teach? sure. But a mentor becasue you need someone to teach you the pitfalls of kink so you won't make that mistake?

HELL NO.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

I just wonder how many sort out a mentor already in the lifestyle to learn of some of the dangers that lurk within. Like not all Doms are the same and the game players, pretenders on both sides of the fence. That is all I am going to say on this subject.

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 9:29:11 AM

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quote:

(

quote:

ORIGINAL: rulemylife

quote:

ORIGINAL: subangel213

Are you really that ignorant to think that because we are young we can't know who we are or what we want?

I am also that ignorant.

After seeing your profile you may want to consider the ignorance of youth and how your beliefs may eventually conflict with your lifestyle choice.

Just which of her beliefs conflict with her 'lifestyle choice'? I must have missed it.

(in reply to rulemylife)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:02:50 AM

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*sigh* I wish i had known about bdsm when i was 20. It would have prevented a marriage that needed bdsm to be viable, and i would have had a whole lot more fun. And why can't young people know that they are dominant or submissive - just like they know that they are gay or straight - or poly or monogomous or any of the other combinations of sexuality that abound.

Of course, i don't think that they will always get it right, or even play safe - but neither did i when i started on this path. A bit of experience goes a long way, and they just happen to be getting it 20 years before i did.

(in reply to odysseyIndeed)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:07:05 AM

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~fr~

Who are we "oldies" to determine that the "younguns' dont know what they need/want RIGHT NOW??

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:10:50 AM

strippedwarrior

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To the Original Poster, referance your opening post.

Simply, Yes. Longer version, nearly five years ago I swore my Oath of Alligience to serve my country and possibly die in that service. I've dodged bombs and bullets enough to last me the rest of my life but its what I do for my daily bread. If I had been alive long enough to decide willingly to put my life on the line, then surely I can decide how I wish to spend my time. I get the feeling though that you are refering more to living in the "Lifestyle" and being someone or someone's sub/pet/slave etc. If you aren't then are you simply being superior and condecending towards to those who are curious or wish to explore? Might I ask then when you would deem someone suitable to explore alternative's to the mainstream? People are not "Born to Mastery" nor are they "Born to be Slaves", they may well have leanings toward being more or less Dominant, or more or less submissive. But alot of these actions can and are learnt behaivour, often from a mentor or someone the individual observes.

To those who decry the currant generation of twenty-somethings. I have known mid-twenties personel, with more nerve, greater personal strength and self-confidence than thirty- or fourty-something's. I write of search personel who willingly crawl forward on thier belt buckles where people a nearly a decade older have bottled it. Don't look down on the younger generation's because of the mainstream media's obsession of showing them as dysfunctional and self-destructive. Alot of us are significantly differant.

To the Original Poster, referance your second post.
If you would never choose a sub/pet/servant/slave under thirty five, then that is your choice. I don't imagine I would look for a Dominant much older than thirty, however, I would be willing to follow up if I did have a good experiance with someone outside of my normal circle. I would like to imagine that many people have perhaps not a mentor, more someone they met at thier first few munches/play sessions to show them what they might expect. I would expect that person or persons to act like anyone I would meet at a sporting event I had never attended before. Where you tend to tag along with someone who appears to know what they were doing. I would hope that some of the guidance given by that person might include pointers toward safe play, such as safewords, safety net phonecalls for new partners et al.

(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:13:25 AM

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*applauds SWs post*

and thank you, for your military service.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:32:22 AM

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I think it's wonderful that CM is just chock full of fertile young girls.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:32:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

Of course they haven't...!

What they are is "Generation ME".

Selfish, self-entitled ego-paths full of their own personal rights while not giving a rat's clacker for anyone else not in their immediate social group. Between the "me first" attitude and technological advances, it's not surprising they've infiltrated all the adult world offers.

But I dunno about the "rise" of them here. Frankly, I miss the 19yo "Masters" coming in seeking a few pointers.... <shrugs>

Focus.

What about all the "older" groups that don't allow younger to participate. We are not generation me we are generation do our own thing. You don't want to include us in your little groups we make our own. Do don't want to spend the time to help us when we have questions we learn ourselves. You don't want your wife anymore because you feel she isn't as sexy or as beautiful as she once was you come after girls of our generation. Really honestly there are good and bad points to being both young and old in this lifestyle but what the older generations need to learn is that our generation is the next generation of the lifestyle if you don't like it then get out of the way. Instead of bashing us you should be trying harder to teach us what you know. Passing on your knowledge is far more useful to both generations than bashing us for our age.

(in reply to Focus50)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:34:11 AM

TotalDiscipline

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

no

(in reply to MasterMartinIndy)

RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 10:41:29 AM

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
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quote:

What about all the "older" groups that don't allow younger to participate. We are not generation me we are generation do our own thing. You don't want to include us in your little groups we make our own. Do don't want to spend the time to help us when we have questions we learn ourselves.

Who said we dont want to help? Sometimes its not the questions your generation asks, its how you ask, or even respond to the information you are given. Im more than willing to help anyone... until they bite at me for the help i gave.

quote:

You don't want your wife anymore because you feel she isn't as sexy or as beautiful as she once was you come after girls of our generation.

It takes two to tango. Ever asked those girls of "your" generation why they accept men of my generation? the answer is there.

quote:

Really honestly there are good and bad points to being both young and old in this lifestyle but what the older generations need to learn is that our generation is the next generation of the lifestyle if you don't like it then get out of the way. Instead of bashing us you should be trying harder to teach us what you know. Passing on your knowledge is far more useful to both generations than bashing us for our age.

And this is the crux of the issue. In the earlier section, you complain that we, the older generation, wont teach you, and in this section, you dismiss us as if we have no right to be here any longer. "get out of our way". pft. If you want something, even knowledge, try asking, instead of demanding with a stomp of your foot, a pout on your lips, and an air of entitlement.

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