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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 12:54:18 PM

Twoshoes

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The rise.
The power.
The terror.
The misery.
The epicaricacy.

Welcome to a world you can no longer fathom, old man.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 12:54:31 PM

TotalDiscipline

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* off topic*
I think most people go into the army to have a job..not because it is "for their country"
But anyway..I respect their choice...although..is it a choice? to follow orders.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 12:55:04 PM

AquaticSub

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I don't believe I used the term sacrifice.

I regard it as someone has chosen to undertake a task that puts themself in more danger, requires them to spend more time with others than their families, exposes them to more pain and heartbreak than your standard position.

The simple fact that they are doing it and doing it well, that they are jobs that benfit society as a whole, warrents thanks to me.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 12:55:22 PM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: stef

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

Why not? I was just into my teens when I knew this was what I wanted. Have some oatmeal and chill, Wilford.

~stef

Wonderful!

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 1:06:17 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalDiscipline
I think most people go into the army to have a job..not because it is "for their country"

It varies ... one of my 2 military mates is "officer class", and has always wanted to be so. He's bright, cunning (in a good way), and a born leader, as well as being massively patriotic. He's mapped out his life around the military, and so far he’s been pretty good to them, and they appear to have been jolly nice to him too.

My other RN mate is a chap I went to school with. If ever the expression "born to hang" applied, it's this guy. He was loud, somewhat obnoxious, all over the place, and something of a menace. All he ever did at school was fight (never against those of his own age as it wasn't enough of a challenge, always against those 2 or 3 or more years older, which is why he never bullied or attacked me – I simply wasn’t in his league, and he liked my SoH, and we played rugby together, so we always got on), and on leaving school with zero qualifications, joined the Royal Marines more for something to do than any other reason, him having assaulted a Benefits Agency staff member for being condescending to him when he went to sign on for dole. I would have bet my last penny he’d have been thrown out and been in prison in short order.

I next saw him 2 years later – he’d become one of the shortest-serving (ie fastest promoted) corporals ever in the RN, and was earmarked for Sergeant next. He was disciplined, self-motivated, quietly spoken and the change in him was simply amazing. Now I'm not saying it’s the right course for everyone, but you couldn’t argue what the chap had been, and what he’d grown into. When I asked how they’d managed this transformation he said “they knocked the bullshit out of me” – he had, at last, found the “home” and family he’d missed as a child (alcoholic father, drug-addled mother), and they’d repaid him by building a man of character. Personally, I think he got the better end of the deal, but it’s a close-run thing; both parties benefitted.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 1:07:16 PM

myotherself

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I only wish I'd heard of BDSM in my teens and twenties - I'd have saved myself 20 years of unfulfilling relationships and heart-ache. I knew what I NEEDED, but couldn't articulate it into something I could communicate with potential partners. I felt alone and was sure I was some kind of freak.

It was only a chance encounter with a drunken ex-colleague (who turned out to be a Dom) that made me realise there was a place in this world for me, and it was a place full of other kinky freaks

The internet has enabled these young'uns to work out much earlier what took me until my mid-30s to figure out, which to my mind is a really positive thing.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 1:08:36 PM

wittynamehere

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It's about time. This site is overrun by seniors and nearly-seniors.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy
Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

Have you?

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 1:10:54 PM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
The internet has enabled these young'uns to work out much earlier what took me until my mid-30s to figure out, which to my mind is a really positive thing.

That's a very good point ... although I "figured out" what I was very early on, the lack of much information or a "support service" meant I did blame myself for having "wrong" (dominant) thoughts, throughout my late teens and early 20s. Although, being 100% fair, I did also enjoy the journey of discovery too, which I feel some younger folk miss out on because the net simply places it at their feet.

But, on balance, informed sooner rather than later is, I think, better

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 1:12:02 PM

RapierFugue

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

It's about time. This site is overrun by seniors and nearly-seniors.

CAN YOU SPEAK UP?! I'M A MITE DEEF!

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 1:22:23 PM

strippedwarrior

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There is still a sense of duty around, typically where you find gentlemen, although both are apparantly getting rarer (I dont believe it myself).

*Contemplates throwing teddy, decides it would be less interesting than the main thread of conversation*

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 3:10:03 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

Why can't they know what they want right now? Do any of us really know for sure what we want for the rest of our lives? Probably not. I only wish I'd known about bdsm in my 20s. I'm almost 53 now and found out about bdsm when I was 50. I've always been submissive in my romantic relationships, but had no idea that it was okay to be me. Hell, I even tied up my Barbie dolls in twine and made Ken spank them for "being bad." Knowing about bdsm in my 20s would have saved me from 30 years of unfulfilling vanilla relationships and feeling like a pervert.

~sweetsub~

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An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 3:14:01 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: wittynamehere

It's about time. This site is overrun by seniors and nearly-seniors.
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy
Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

Have you?

As a 36 year old, what do you consider senior or nearly senior? You are 4 years away from the cross roads, try to hold on tight, it is a bumpy ride to the old age home.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 3:47:39 PM

slavekal

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I knew when I was that young. I had pro sessions before I had sex...while I was still in high school. I always knew what I was and what I needed.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 4:10:23 PM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterMartinIndy

Have you really been alive long enough to know this is what you want.

Why can't they know what they want right now? Do any of us really know for sure what we want for the rest of our lives? Probably not. I only wish I'd known about bdsm in my 20s. I'm almost 53 now and found out about bdsm when I was 50. I've always been submissive in my romantic relationships, but had no idea that it was okay to be me. Hell, I even tied up my Barbie dolls in twine and made Ken spank them for "being bad." Knowing about bdsm in my 20s would have saved me from 30 years of unfulfilling vanilla relationships and feeling like a pervert.

~sweetsub~

Martin,

My story is much like sweetsub's.
I knew I had an interest (that began in my teens) but was too afraid to do anything about it until I joined CM nearly 3 1/2 yrs ago when I was 45.

As for your original question, how does anyone, regardless of age know their true interest matches their desire until they actually try something?

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 4:31:59 PM

LadyRian

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I'm glad they're here.

I remember being 20something, and wishing I had some opportunity to talk to someone about the way I was, and not having anywhere to discuss anything. I knew I was into this since I was a teen/20something. And I still am. Seriously, all of us older folks- How long did we know that we were into this? Maybe some of us had the lights come on when we were older, and thought "Wow, I'm into BDSM.", but I don't think that's the experience of many. How many of us had to go through some frustrating experiences breaking out of the vanilla closet?

People talking and learning is a good thing. Out of all the sites out there, I like CM. The forums are excellent. Good advice is given, and people need to know the facts. Besides, I'm sure that a lot of the younger folks can teach me a thing or two. I sure don't know everything.

< Message edited by LadyRian -- 10/18/2010 4:35:43 PM >

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 5:06:09 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Thank you for serving.

Why do people say that? He does something he wants to do, likes doing, and he gets paid for doing it. That's fine by me, and all the recognition the position warrants, unless the individual does something above and beyond the call of duty. In which case they break out the medal chest.

People don't say it to firemen, or policemen ... or nurses for that matter.

Why do I say it? Because I happen to be a military wife and the mother of a military son. Even though it is what they want to do, let Me tell you that it's not a picnic. The stuff that most people take for granted are things they give up. Do you think it's easy to be sent to the other side of the globe away from your family for a year? That's not even including the getting shot at part.

While I also believe that we should appreciate the other occupations that serve other people and keep us safe, they do still have the luxury of being home with their families when the job is over for the day and get to sleep under their own roof. Over the span of a twenty or thirty year career, there's going to be a number of deployments, even during peace that military people won't be doing that.

For the other poster who said they do it for a job, that may be true in a lot of cases. There are some of them though, like My son, who never wanted to do anything else. It wasn't because it was going to be a paycheck. It was what he said he wanted to be when he grew up. To him, it's about serving his country and what that means to him.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 5:29:35 PM

jujubeeMB

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I do want to point out that a lot of the hot young female profiles on this site are not necessarily representative of living, breathing hot young females who are actually interested in BDSM, so there may be less young people on here than you think.

That said, I knew I was submissive when I was nine. I realized that my submissiveness had to do with my sexuality when I was twelve, I started looking it up on the internet when I was fifteen, acting on bits and pieces of it when I was eighteen and actually pursuing it when I was twenty two. I suppose I'm "lucky," but I can't imagine that many people don't know their sexual proclivities by eighteen nowadays (at least, as far as imagination goes). I mean, just listen to Dan Savage podcasts for a year and you pretty much know everything there is to know about sexual self-analysis

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 5:48:37 PM

daddysprop247

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quote:

ORIGINAL: strippedwarrior

A thought after reading daddysprop247's post. Slavery, submission, marriage. Is there anything wrong with doing any of these things from the point you are allowed to? Is there anything bad about giving your whole life to just one person? Maybe bad is a bit too strong. If you feel your best when you are bonded to one person for life, then there is no need to look for anything else. If you feel strongly about someone there is no reason, none at all, to do anything else but exist in that relationship. It doesn't matter if your a slave, a submissive or married. Sometimes things just turn out that way.

i agree with you, but want to clarify something. i did not become a slave because i fell in love (that became quite a long while later), or because i found just the perfect man to belong to...that was just plain good luck! i became a slave because i knew i could be nothing else...once i discovered my true nature and learned what i was, i knew immediately exactly what i needed: to be owned. however, i thought the chances of my actually becoming a slave or, better yet, becoming a slave to a good man...were super slim to nil. but i understood, at that young age, that i would never be able to find peace or security in life without being under the total control and authority of a man.

and again, my point in sharing all that is just to point out that sometimes you luck out and manage to truly find and know yourself at a younger age than most. my knock against most (certainly not all) younger people in the lifestyle now is that self-discovery and acceptance don't seem to have much to do with it, and it's more about just having some naughty fun. over time, this can lead to a lifestyle culture where the fun and game kinksters are the acceptable status quo, and the folks who are just expressing and seeking acceptance for their true natures are the unwelcome minority. i have seen just such a scenario play out many times, in both on and offline communities. the one and only time i attended a munch, it so happened to be TNG-sponsored (but all were welcome). i was extremely uncomfortable because everyone kept asking me what my "kink" was...when i would explain, "um, i'm just a slave," someone would respond, "oh, so you're into the humiliation thing? me too!"...or when i described my relationship with my Master as a Man and woman following the natural order, one young woman said, "oh you mean like the 1950s thing?"....it was frustrating to say the least.

so, if there is any downside to the abundance of younger folks entering the lifestyle, it would be that...a whole lot more kink, and a whole lot less everyday living and being.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:29:08 PM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Thank you for serving.

Why do people say that? He does something he wants to do, likes doing, and he gets paid for doing it. That's fine by me, and all the recognition the position warrants, unless the individual does something above and beyond the call of duty. In which case they break out the medal chest.

People don't say it to firemen, or policemen ... or nurses for that matter.

Why do I say it? Because I happen to be a military wife and the mother of a military son. Even though it is what they want to do, let Me tell you that it's not a picnic. The stuff that most people take for granted are things they give up. Do you think it's easy to be sent to the other side of the globe away from your family for a year? That's not even including the getting shot at part.

While I also believe that we should appreciate the other occupations that serve other people and keep us safe, they do still have the luxury of being home with their families when the job is over for the day and get to sleep under their own roof. Over the span of a twenty or thirty year career, there's going to be a number of deployments, even during peace that military people won't be doing that.

For the other poster who said they do it for a job, that may be true in a lot of cases. There are some of them though, like My son, who never wanted to do anything else. It wasn't because it was going to be a paycheck. It was what he said he wanted to be when he grew up. To him, it's about serving his country and what that means to him.

All of which is fine, except ...

a) Military personnel are not the only ones whose jobs separate them from their families. Try being a copper’s wife, for example ... often not the easiest of lives either. I know an engineer who builds power stations for developing countries – he’s away from his family a lot.

b) Just because it’s “not a picnic” doesn’t mean it warrants additional gratitude from anyone. Plenty of jobs aren’t a picnic.

c) Many other professions also miss out on the “luxury” of being with their families at the end of a day’s work too, as well as not sleeping under their own roof.

There’s nothing especially special or unique about being in the military that warrants any additional praise merely for joining up, unless and until the individual does something extraordinary, at which point, as I pointed out in another post, the brass break out the medal cabinet, and fair enough too.

But obviously that’s just my opinion, and equally obviously it isn’t the same as yours. Which isn't a bad thing I guess ... it'd be an odd world if everyone thought the same.

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RE: The rise of teens and 20 something on here - 10/18/2010 7:39:27 PM

NuevaVida

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RapierFugue, maybe you can start your own thread in Off Topics instead of hijacking this one, which is about a completely different topic. Your question is worth discussion, but when someone comes to a thread expecting to read something about the Subject line and about 2 pages out of 4 are about something else entirely, it gets frustrating.

To the OP: I wish I had known about M/s, D/s and BDSM in my teens and 20's. I would have taken a much healthier and happier path for myself.

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