are there any Buddhist Masters out there?

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

are there any Buddhist Masters out there?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Master >> are there any Buddhist Masters out there?

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 1:33:07 PM

akimarain

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

how do you feel about Buddhism and owning a slave or sub. my slave has a need to serve me and in helping her fulfill that need Im doing her a world of good, but im having trouble fitting it all in to my views on the eightfold path etc.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 1:35:21 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

Float like a leaf on the river of life.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 1:39:23 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akimarain

how do you feel about Buddhism and owning a slave or sub. my slave has a need to serve me and in helping her fulfill that need Im doing her a world of good, but im having trouble fitting it all in to my views on the eightfold path etc.

Greetings akimarain,

The subject isn't discussed very frequently on this site. Though there are a few individuals like myself that have been heavily influenced by Eastern teachings and implement them in the framework of their dynamic. You may find better luck perusing the Buddhism and Zen groups on Fetlife instead. In terms of your question, I have difficulty understanding the conflict you're experiencing since many of the tenets of Buddhism can be integrated seamlessly in the relationship and elevate it to different level if both parties are committed to that vain. Perhaps you can expound?

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 1:45:31 PM

akimarain

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

Im not entirely sure where my feelings about it lie. I guess its one part of me that i have yet to fully Master. I do think that it has halped me in my mastery of my girl, the self control and introspection have furthered me in my mastery of her. Thank you for the fetlife idea,i will have to check it out.

(in reply to porcelaine)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 2:00:56 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akimarain

Im not entirely sure where my feelings about it lie. I guess its one part of me that i have yet to fully Master. I do think that it has halped me in my mastery of my girl, the self control and introspection have furthered me in my mastery of her. Thank you for the fetlife idea,i will have to check it out.

Greetings akimarain,

You're welcome. I hope the resource proves helpful. I would suggest that you review Deepak Chopra's Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. Many of the concepts mentioned can be easily adapted for relationships such as yours and they're in line with the spiritual teachings you're aligned with. Also, check out David Deida. He has some interesting ideas and presents the subject matter for a Western audience. Best of luck.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 2:27:28 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Ahahaha, you ever sat sesshin? Fuckall if that's not both sado and masochistic at its finest.

I know a Buddhist teacher who'd go out of his way to make the room hot and uncomfortable, and you were supposed to sit sesshin for days like that.

Actually, if you're Buddhist with dominance tendencies, I'd recommend getting very comfortable experiencing the moment and then applying those lessons towards scening. I'd say it's very possible to correlate the two.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to porcelaine)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/28/2010 2:30:15 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Personally, I'd advise staying far away from Deepak. He's too fluffy bunny for my tastes.

I recommend a book called 'Everyday Zen' by a salty old broad who knows how to speak American. Actually, by her students recording her, but yeah. Good enough for Socrates, good enough for me.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 6:59:34 AM

wandersalone

Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline

This may be a bit too "out there" but have you sat with these thoughts and removed any possible judgments from them and just allowed them to be there whilst you continue your everyday life and bdsm dynamic. I practice mindfulness meditation a lot with any uncomfortable feelings, worries and thoughts and find it helps

_____________________________

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. Martin Luther King
Godmother of the subbie mafia
My all time favourite threads
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2002501
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=790885

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 9:04:47 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

I knew a man once who was immersing himself in the studies of Buddhism, and who was feeling a bit conflicted when considering the things he enjoyed doing to/with his submissive in relation to the "Do No Harm" rule.

He came to terms by recognizing the paradox this presented - engaging in relationship where one party is dominant over another and the dominant party expects and engages the submissive party in physical pain, psychological humiliation and objectification, bondage, restraints, can be viewed as doing harm. Yet, what if the submissive party experiences joy and pleasure from such activity and actually desires it? This was the paradox. In this case, it is the intention of the dominant party to provide mutual benefit and not harm.

It was looking at the situation from a "traditional" ("vanilla" - "non D/s") point of view that was conflicting him. Understanding his submissive, however, and that he was actually meeting her needs and providing fulfillment, allowed him to continue functioning under "Do No Harm". Harm comes in many forms. In this case, denying her the ability to naturally express herself would have been the harming factor.

Not sure if this assists with what you are struggling with, but I wish you well as intertwine your dominance with your spiritual discoveries.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 9:37:27 AM

phoenixmoonn13

Posts: 398
Joined: 6/11/2010
Status: offline

we are both wiccan and the wiccan rede says do ye no harm . but in the M/s relationship he does no harm to me as its what i welcome it would only be harm if it was not wanted.

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 9:43:46 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

I knew a man once who was immersing himself in the studies of Buddhism, and who was feeling a bit conflicted when considering the things he enjoyed doing to/with his submissive in relation to the "Do No Harm" rule.

He came to terms by recognizing the paradox this presented - engaging in relationship where one party is dominant over another and the dominant party expects and engages the submissive party in physical pain, psychological humiliation and objectification, bondage, restraints, can be viewed as doing harm. Yet, what if the submissive party experiences joy and pleasure from such activity and actually desires it? This was the paradox. In this case, it is the intention of the dominant party to provide mutual benefit and not harm.

It was looking at the situation from a "traditional" ("vanilla" - "non D/s") point of view that was conflicting him. Understanding his submissive, however, and that he was actually meeting her needs and providing fulfillment, allowed him to continue functioning under "Do No Harm". Harm comes in many forms. In this case, denying her the ability to naturally express herself would have been the harming factor.

Not sure if this assists with what you are struggling with, but I wish you well as intertwine your dominance with your spiritual discoveries.

I thought the OP was addressing a percieved contrast of 'mindfulness' with D/s. More specifically, the buddhist credo of all things in moderation. That last bit could be tricky when you're going for extreme scening, or emotions.

But if you think of things in terms of using powerful sensations to achieve mindfulness, then there's no contradiction.

'an ye harm none, do what thou wilt' is the screed of a different religion. Buddhists tend to want to avoid harm too, but in the sense that it's behavior symptomatic of anusaya, not as a thing in itself.

Though there are almost as many different 'churches' of buddhism as there are of christianity so that may not be true for all of them.

And if that's the concern, then Nueva hit the money shot on it.

edit: phoenixmoon beat me to the wicca reference. Didn't see it before. :/

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/30/2010 9:53:07 AM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 6:35:17 PM

akimarain

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

I thought the OP was addressing a percieved contrast of 'mindfulness' with D/s. More specifically, the buddhist credo of all things in moderation. That last bit could be tricky when you're going for extreme scening, or emotions.

Its true, what I'm struggling with is my attachment to these activities. After struggling with it for while I realized that attachment happens with vanilla relationship activities too. Its something im going to have to sit with.

quote:

I knew a man once who was immersing himself in the studies of Buddhism, and who was feeling a bit conflicted when considering the things he enjoyed doing to/with his submissive in relation to the "Do No Harm" rule.

I struggled with this for a while, but i came to realize the same thing, my girl is much more stable happy and outgoing in the vanilla world knowing that she belongs to me.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Profile

Post #: 12

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 9:11:16 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Aki, if you're still watching this thread - what variant of buddhism do you best identify with?

As my leanings go towards zen, it'd probably be more helpful if I knew what tenets you've got. My buddhism is probably not your buddhism.

quote:

Its true, what I'm struggling with is my attachment to these activities. After struggling with it for while I realized that attachment happens with vanilla relationship activities too. Its something im going to have to sit with.

Mm. Remember the saying "strive with passion but not attachment."

My understanding of 'generic' and theravedic buddhism (spelled right?) is this.

Wake up every morning unafraid that you will lose your mate. One day, you will. Do not fear this. Do not become attached to a static thing in the ever-changing cycle of life. But be joyful that you have her, and feel that joy every moment as if you've received a flower and are struck by its beauty; the flower will fade soon, in days or moments, but this moment does not truly exist anyway, except as a passage to the next moment. That's the way of enlightenment. Your feelings towards dominance and submission should fall naturally into mindfulness if you achieve this.

It's acceptable and even preferable to try to achieve goals, to do things, as long as you don't get attached to the outcome. Like if you enter a game of football and are mentally crushed by losing; that is precisely the sort of thing to avoid. So is avoiding the game because you're afraid you'll lose, or even avoiding it if you're afraid your fear will overwhelm you. All of these actions are based on a mindset that promotes entrapment in samsara.

The same is true of relationships.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/30/2010 9:27:51 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to mastermitch45)

Profile

Post #: 13

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/30/2010 9:19:49 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

By the way, if anyone's wondering about this less acerbic side of me, remember that Zen teachers are usually RAGING ASSHOLES in the stories. Until enlightenment is achieved, then it all makes sense and they weren't really that bad to begin with. (except that one guy who kept chopping off his student's hands... that guy was a total dick.)

I don't consider myself a great teacher, but I am a student of zen. And I'm a romantic about it. Haters gonna hate. ^_^

I say this since I got an email. Name undisclosed, but suffice it to say I was feeling whiplash from all the backhanded compliments...

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 10/30/2010 9:42:04 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Profile

Post #: 14

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/31/2010 9:28:00 AM

mastermitch45

Posts: 7
Joined: 9/11/2010
Status: offline

possesed of all wisdom,and comes with brilliance to the sacraficers

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 15

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/31/2010 9:29:11 AM

Musicmystery

Posts: 30259
Joined: 3/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

how do you feel about Buddhism and owning a slave or sub. my slave has a need to serve me and in helping her fulfill that need Im doing her a world of good, but im having trouble fitting it all in to my views on the eightfold path etc.

Why?

Let each live according to one's nature.

(in reply to akimarain)

Profile

Post #: 16

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/31/2010 9:49:33 AM

Mishna

Posts: 70
Joined: 11/1/2008
Status: offline

I'm Buddhist, and I look at it from the perspective of compassion and generosity, in addition to skillful means. Not that I'm saying I am particularly skilled with the skillful means, but if I know that being dominant for someone is what they need to help them clear their minds, advance on their spiritual path, then I am acting out of compassion and generosity. And, if they assist me in the same why, who am I to deny their act of compassion and generosity? Accepting is just as important as giving.

(in reply to Musicmystery)

Profile

Post #: 17

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/31/2010 10:13:31 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

If a Buddhist martial Arts Teacher uses painful disciplines or methods such as beating about the shoulders with a bamboo pole upon an errant student or one who is not performing to his limits and proven ability, then it would still be within the context of his belief and understanding. As my late Sensei, who was Buddhist, used to tell me that there is a direct correlation between pain/pleasure, punishment/discipline and discipline/balance/harmony. He'd oft enough expound that only when one had attained the ability to sit within the Wa would the understanding of such things unfold and thus give the ability to maintain balance in daily life even in times of stress, danger and sadness. But hey this old pagan is but a mere novice when it comes to Buddhism. I understand and can raise as well as use chi and sit in my Wa as well have a reasonable grasp of yin/yang, harmony and balance of all things as well as being attuned to nature. I'm finding this discussion most interesting..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Mishna)

Profile

Post #: 18

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/31/2010 5:11:46 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Personally, I'd advise staying far away from Deepak. He's too fluffy bunny for my tastes.

I recommend a book called 'Everyday Zen' by a salty old broad who knows how to speak American. Actually, by her students recording her, but yeah. Good enough for Socrates, good enough for me.

Greetings DMFParadox,

It is my belief that we each must discover our own truth. What one individual finds meaningless may hold a world of gold for the next seeker. As with most things the message reveals itself when we're ready to receive it. It is my hope that the OP finds notable resources that provide encouragement and support for the internal challenges he's facing.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Profile

Post #: 19

RE: are there any Buddhist Masters out there? - 10/31/2010 10:51:12 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Fair enough.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to porcelaine)

Profile

Post #: 20