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SoulcatcherXXX -> RE: Inexperienced Dom here. (11/11/2010 6:05:56 PM)
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Just a note about my experience with online D/s. I've ended up doing it quite a bit over the last few years because I live in a smaller town now with an even smaller D/s scene. I've seen quite a bit of both sides of it--a lot of posers, a lot of people pretending to be something they actually aren't, a lot of people who "forget" to mention that they are married for a long time, etc...but I have to say that I've also had some good, lasting relationships online and met a number of people in RL who I got to know in an online situation first. Meeting in RL, the other person is usually not quite what you expect, or better to say they are not exactly the same in RL as they are online. That applies even when both people are being honest with each other, I think it's just a matter of being able to relate face-to-face as opposed to having a mostly text-based relationship. Talking with them on voice chat or cams goes a long way toward solving that issue, as text tends to be more difficult to convey emotional nuances in, etc. Anyway...the people I ended up meeting in RL, I have to say, were all legit and were all just who they claimed to be. Of course a person has to be selective (and maybe lucky too) if they hope to have that happen, but with a decent screening process I have never been disappointed after meeting the people and have made several long-term friends too. Online is a good thing, in the sense that you can meet people you'd have never known at all otherwise...so in that sense it gives you quite a few options. Its limits are pretty obvious and it's certainly no substitute for a RL relationship, but I think it can often be a good way to learn about and try new things in a safe environment...I know it has helped many people get into the lifestyle who otherwise probably wouldn't have had the opportunity. I've seen quite a few instance where people who met online later got together in RL and seemed to make it work very well. I think the key to that, as others have said here, is to be honest about who you are and what you're looking for...if you pretend to be someone else, there is almost no chance that RL meeting is going to be a success because the first that happens will be being exposed as a liar...there goes the trust, and its all downhill from there. I think if a person is honest about what they want and need, and selective about who they develop online relationships with (some are not, and it usually doesn't end well) there is a pretty good chance of meeting a person who will be genuine and who may even become a close friend or partner in RL somewhere down the road. But like with anything online a person has to be careful and watchful, aware of the potential for deception that always exists there. I hope that made sense...I was just trying to add my experiences to those of others here on the subject because it never hurts to get feedback from a variety of sources.
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