Being collared

Being collared (Full Version)

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nashsubcurious4w -> Being collared (11/15/2010 3:29:55 AM)
I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared. i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared?

AquaticSub -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 3:57:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared. i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared? If it happens, you should - IMHO - already know it's likely to come and already know what the person collaring you expects from those he/she collars. Not knowing or being unclear would be - again my humble opinion - very legitimate grounds for refusing said collar. As for my personal experience, we were engaged before he collared me. It really didn't change anything in our relationship. The rules stayed the same, we had just made a formal commitment to live a particular lifestyle throughout the rest of our lives. Which we had already agreed to commit to each other. Others will vary, and will vary greatly.

OsideGirl -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 6:56:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. IMO, if you're new, it's usually best not to be rushing into things. It's a lot of new reactions, endorphins and strong emotions that sometimes cloud our judgement about how we really feel about the person we're with. quote: I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared. Your response should match how you feel. Just because it's offered, doesn't mean that it has to be accepted. Not accepting, doesn't mean the relationship is over either. quote: i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. You're veiwing this as an award. It's not. It's a commitment between two people. Just like being married. quote: Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared? I was with my ex for 6 years. During that time period I declined his collar twice. I felt that he was doing it for the wrong reasons and requested that the tone of the relationship change before I would comfortable accepting his collar. With my current Master, I've been collared to him for 11 years and married for 10. To us that collar was the same as being married.

NuevaVida -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 9:45:37 AM)
In my opinion the appropriate response is whatever response comes naturally to you. But, know what you're getting into, before you get into it.

shellspeare -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 10:46:38 AM)
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windchymes -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 11:12:26 AM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIFouNbllGY&feature=related Just substitute the word "collar" for "Wii".

lizi -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 11:49:29 AM)
A collar is a symbol of commitment and usually symbolizes a very serious step in a relationship. My own collar was given to me after we'd been together in a monogamous committed relationship for a while. In our case we did not have a ceremony or anything formal. He just took it out one day and said here, I've had this for you...I took it and put it on. We're in the process now of deciding what to replace the leather buckled collar with - we want a piece of jewelry that i can wear at all times.

BbcSlutKc -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 1:03:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi A collar is a symbol of commitment and usually symbolizes a very serious step in a relationship. My own collar was given to me after we'd been together in a monogamous committed relationship for a while. In our case we did not have a ceremony or anything formal. He just took it out one day and said here, I've had this for you...I took it and put it on. We're in the process now of deciding what to replace the leather buckled collar with - we want a piece of jewelry that i can wear at all times. do u have an idea of places to find the collar/necklaces?

littlewonder -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 3:49:42 PM)
I smiled, gave him a huge hug and kiss and thanked him. Then again we didn't have any kind of formal ceremony, there was not even telling me he was collaring me or anything. He put it on me and that was it. We just are the same people we were before.

lizi -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 4:39:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BbcSlutKc do u have an idea of places to find the collar/necklaces? Well, we've looked around online but haven't really decided on what to get yet. Did you have a suggestion?

dory007 -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 7:13:29 PM)
take your time. a collar should be a serious commitment. the meaning of the collar should be negotiated prior to offering or accepting one. don't get pushed into moving too fast. date some other D types to make sure you know what you want. don't fall for dungeon love. make sure you have similar vanilla interests too. you can't be naked and kneeling all the time.

WolfyMontgomery -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 8:55:11 PM)
quote: I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared. i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared? It is only a place of honor in the same sense that a wedding ring or engagement ring might be - you will most definitely feel honored that he wanted you, I'm sure, just remember that it's not any rite of passage in the game of submissiveness or anything. A collar does not equal "Level 2" or a higher ranking or anything. Like everyone else said, your response will be what your response is, how would you respond to being offered an engagement ring? Or at the very least, a going steady ring or a promised ring? Have you been with him long enough to feel the urge to get anything like that? It's a symbol of commitment between two people - it may not be quite as fancy or special as a wedding ring, but it is still (unless it's a play collar or something) an object that marks the two of you as being committed to each other and the relationship to some degree. So make sure you're also wanting to be committed to him and the relationship you have before accepting that collar. As for appropriate responses during any sort of collaring ceremony - that's completely reliant on what the two people giving and receiving the collar want. Master liked fancy little rituals and whatnot to give meaning to these sorts of things, he wrote a long speech that I was required to speak and kneel before him as he presented me my collar. The meaning of the collar I wear is half a step below an engagement ring - we are promised, we are committed to each other, we plan on being engaged and married when the means come to us and after we've been together longer, but we can already see that were very happy together and want to be together. Plus he's a little old fashioned, and so he wants to get a big fancy engagement ring to mark an actual engagement, which means I have to wait until we have the money for something like that ;P The collar is what you make it, and what it means to you and your Dom. Make sure you know what it means to you and whether those needs and wants to have said collar are met. And make sure your Dom communicates to you what the collar means to him, and what sorts of rituals or protocols he wants to see when giving/receiving the collar.

browneyedbbwsub -> RE: Being collared (11/15/2010 9:31:00 PM)
I'd definitely wait to accept getting collared so quickly. I had a Dom who wanted to collar me...and he did...but I realized later it didn't mean to him what it meant to me. He was new. So was I. When we broke up, I was so hurt. Deeply hurt. I felt so betrayed. Don't set yourself up for that. I was nearly destroyed as I opened up so much to this man and he toyed with the symbol of commitment.

sweetsub1957 -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 1:55:11 AM)
~FR~ I have to say, I agree w/ everything everyone has said here. ~sweetsub~

wandersalone -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 2:29:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared. i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared? Who is planning to collar you? Your husband or the long distance dominant that also has you searching for a woman to keep you company? Are you sure you are not rushing things?

nashsubcurious4w -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 3:41:22 AM)
That was cute! After all the serious responses I needed a smile. Thanks.

nashsubcurious4w -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 3:44:29 AM)
VERY good advise about discovering similar vanilla intersts. I haven't given any thought to dating other D types but maybe I should consider it. Since He is my first experience, I really have nothing to compare Him to.

poise -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 3:54:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone quote: ORIGINAL: nashsubcurious4w I am new to this lifestyle and with my first Dom. I am curious about the appropriate response if I am collared. i know if collared, it is a place of honor and i do not want to respond inappropriately if this happens. Would anyone be willing to share their experience with being collared? Who is planning to collar you? Your husband or the long distance dominant that also has you searching for a woman to keep you company? Are you sure you are not rushing things? This gives honor a whole new meaning. Perhaps the husband can offer you a proper response? How can one man claim ownership and collar the property of another? Details....please [:D] And how long can "discrete" commitments last?

phoenixmoonn13 -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 4:37:32 AM)
to me and master my collar is as binding and more so than the wedding rings we both wore in the past. when i submitted to him i just knew that he was the person i would want to place his collar round my neck. i also knew that he was someone i wanted to be with and connected with in a way that was far deeper than any past relationships. He collared me a few days later he would have done it there and then but we didnt have anything to mark it with (we were in bed at the time) and i just said what i felt a the time i could nto have planned it or thought of the words they just came..

GabrielleSlave -> RE: Being collared (11/16/2010 4:46:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: wandersalone Who is planning to collar you? Your husband or the long distance dominant that also has you searching for a woman to keep you company? Are you sure you are not rushing things? ^^ this. Master and i take Oour potential collaring as seriously as Wwe would getting married, infact even more so.

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