RE: Weight and Master/Dom control

Join Our Community

Collarchat.com

Home Login Search

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Weight and Master/Dom control

Page: << < prev 16 17 [18] 19 20 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 11:43:09 AM

subkatslut

Posts: 81
Joined: 9/14/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

yes, dominance or lack thereof can be determined by a photo or numbers listed on a profile.

Silly me I thought dominance was a trait not a look.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

I'd rather have an "unhealthy" physical slave than an "unhealthy" mental slave as it pertains to bad and overly judgmental attitudes.

All kinds of unhealthy available these days.

It appears so. Personally given the choice between a healthy mind or a healthy body I know which one I'd rather have and it coincides with what I'd rather someone else does as well.

(in reply to Icarys)

Profile

Post #: 341

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 11:44:37 AM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Can't get perfect though. Either in ourselves or others.

Never said I wanted perfect, if you'll look at what I specifically have written. I said I want someone who exercises and eats healthy. That's not perfection, that's just good sense

(in reply to Icarys)

Profile

Post #: 342

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 11:47:15 AM

mushroomchicken

Posts: 26
Joined: 6/12/2010
Status: offline

.

< Message edited by mushroomchicken -- 12/3/2010 11:48:07 AM >

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Profile

Post #: 343

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 11:59:21 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Can't get perfect though. Either in ourselves or others.

Never said I wanted perfect, if you'll look at what I specifically have written. I said I want someone who exercises and eats healthy. That's not perfection, that's just good sense

While you think you're making good sense you might wanna add a little more. Wanting it all and getting it all is the difference between fantasy and reality.

My point was..We aren't perfect...While you focus on things I find superficial and you might the things I focus on don't matter as much..These boil down to differences in preferences and shouldn't be a way to try and invalidate a person. Personal choice..no problem..Saying someone is dominant because they are overweight is just ignorant just as saying someone that makes less than their female is less dominant.

I don't base a slave's ability to serve on whether or not she's blond, skinny, can suck a mean dick, fat, likes dogs, can cook or a number of other things. Personal choice fine but as a determining factor on their own. Nope. It seems trivial.

Of course we want what we do and for me..Well I want the whole package but again that's my personal choice..I still won't look at it as they are lesser or lack ability because they don't meet those criteria on the grand scale of life.

Before this gets "too deep"..I'm more or less burnt out on this thread and have had a blast cutting up. So I think I'll move on to greener pastures..preferably close to one with an ice-cream factory! Moo?

< Message edited by Icarys -- 12/3/2010 12:16:10 PM >

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Profile

Post #: 344

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 1:01:52 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
IMO 'be what you want to be' is better advice, if what a person wants to be is thin and smooth with women, and they're actually fat and awkward with women, what good is 'be yourself' to them? Better to create yourself than just passively be.

Ahh... but I've run into so many problems with people trying to 'create themselves'. Usually to get into my pants/a friend's pants.

They make every effort to be something that they just aren't. IMHE, at best it ends up with me or the person in question losing respect for the person who maintaining a poor facade and at worst it ends up with a tearful and miserable break-up when the charade can't be maintained any longer.

Losing weight, gaining confidence, learning how to talk to women... I fail to see how improving one's skills is different than being true to yourself. Being true doesn't require being stagnate.

There's a difference between genuinely changing yourself and maintaining a charade to get into someone's pants.

What they said:

quote:

That, to me, is simply part of being yourself. If a person wants to be thin and smooth with the ladies then they should work towards that. Likewise some people want to be rich more than anything, so they should take action and make choices towards that end. If it is your goal you are working towards, then it's part of being yourself, no matter what your current state is.

Seems to me like changing to get in someone's pants in the general theme of this thread. "You aren't getting girls cause you are fat so change it!"

While this may boil down to an issue of semantics - where you see changing/recreating, I see improving or refocusing - I'm not seeing a lot of "lose weight because people love you and you are unhealthy". I'm seeing "Lose weight cause it's unattractive".

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/3/2010 1:08:06 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Elisabella)

Profile

Post #: 345

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 1:07:04 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh

~fast reply to no one in particular~

I find it interesting that a thread who's basic premise was a theory that a man, in a photo on a profile (which may or may not be current) or a given set of numbers possibily representing a current weight, could be considered fat and therefore unable to show self-control/self-mastery not to mention having the ability to control/master his partner within a relationship, has morphed into a thread about personal preferences (which I think was the actual topic to begin with, btw) and the morality of "health".

It's the way of the fat thread. Been that way since I joined. No matter what the OP is, it will turn into a debate over preferences and health.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to BonesFromAsh)

Profile

Post #: 346

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 1:13:26 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

You did misunderstand, but it's totally cool. And I think it's okay for anyone to not pursue people they're not attracted to, but when you're specifically not pursuing that which you are yourself because you consider it unattractive in the opposite sex, I think you are a bit hypocritical. This is also something of a major sexist double standard, because there are a lot of overweight men who won't date overweight women, whereas overweight women are sort of expected to date overweight men. And it kind of pisses me off, even though I'm one of the skinny ones.

Greetings jujubee,

The man can pursue what he wants. It comes down to the woman affording him the opportunity of presenting his spiel to her and listening to the diatribe that follows if she declines the offer. If my preferences don't include persons of size, it would be unrealistic of me to entertain prospects of that stature with the expectation that they'll change to suit my ideal. It's far easier to find someone that I find physically appealing instead. Once again, much of this boils down to the emphasis one places on the preference. If it's at the top of your list and an area you're unwilling to compromise, it's likely you won't find yourself in this situation at all.

You can apply the same logic to age, money, etc. People get their knickers in a knot when they're rejected. No one has to accept anything they don't want to. Irregardless of how wonderful someone perceives themselves to be, it is likely that outsiders might have a different opinion and there's nothing wrong with that. What is truly sad is the energy they invest arguing why a certain mindset is shallow or unfair as opposed to addressing the problem that prohibits their success in making connections.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Profile

Post #: 347

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 2:30:13 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

What is truly sad is the energy they invest arguing why a certain mindset is shallow or unfair as opposed to addressing the problem that prohibits their success in making connections.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

This.

The world is what it is. It will judge you, it will bitch slap you, it will kick your butt up between your shoulder blades. And it's going to get worse. It will never be better.

I could have spent my time shouting at the rain how unfair it is no one wanted me because I was and am fat but I made the concious decision not to. I could post 100 times in a thread saying the same thing over and over, but I don't. I took off my rose colored glasses and realized I could not control how others felt but I could change myself. And that took action, not judging other people for judging me.

Corny as it sounds, I want world peace. I wish we could all hold hands, accept each other and sing kumbaya. I wish MY divided government would quit bickering and work as a team to do what is best for all of us (fat chance). I still wish I could eat unlimited muffins too.

Bottom line, I am still not going to put my well being into a Master's hands whom I feel cannot Master themselves. Is it a judgement or a preference? Don't know, don't care.

< Message edited by anniezz338 -- 12/3/2010 2:43:59 PM >

(in reply to porcelaine)

Profile

Post #: 348

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 4:50:13 PM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpaceSpank
Be yourself, but be the best yourself you can be, don't be what you think everyone and their aunt Petunia wants you to be.

Good advice, so long as he's not trying to seduce Aunt Petunia.

I'm always confused by this 'be yourself' thing, as if there's some sort of inherent 'self' that isn't dependent on the life choices we make.

The 'be yourself' thing is horseshit. It's pseudo-advice given to men by people who understand nothing.

The "be your best self" is what it should be and is what Spacespank said. Essentially each human being is a patchwork quilt of idiosyncrasies with some main themes common to humanity running through them. Being your best means shaping up and becoming the best version of you that it's possible to be. It means forging your way through life with a growth/change/progression mindset as opposed to stagnating. Decide who you want to be and what you want from life, then pursue those goals. The irony is that by doing so, a man becomes much more selective and Aunt Petunia just doesn't look anywhere near as good as she used to.

(in reply to Elisabella)

Profile

Post #: 349

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 5:43:59 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Seems to me like changing to get in someone's pants in the general theme of this thread. "You aren't getting girls cause you are fat so change it!"

While this may boil down to an issue of semantics - where you see changing/recreating, I see improving or refocusing - I'm not seeing a lot of "lose weight because people love you and you are unhealthy". I'm seeing "Lose weight cause it's unattractive".

That's because I was talking about someone who was unhappy with the fact that girls aren't interested in him because he's fat.

If he was happy with his current romantic situation I wouldn't care if he was fat or thin. He's not happy, yet he implies it's the girls fault for not being attracted to him by saying they are "doing him a disservice."

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 350

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 7:43:09 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Corny as it sounds, I want world peace. I wish we could all hold hands, accept each other and sing kumbaya.

Is that right?

What was it somebody said... Oh it's on the tip of my tongue... wait.. no... hmm. Oh yes! I remember...

Actions speak louder than words.

Have a nice day,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to anniezz338)

Profile

Post #: 351

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 8:37:48 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I could have spent my time shouting at the rain how unfair it is no one wanted me because I was and am fat but I made the concious decision not to. I could post 100 times in a thread saying the same thing over and over, but I don't.

No one? Really? No man wanted you? Or no man you wanted wanted you...

Huge difference there.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to anniezz338)

Profile

Post #: 352

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 8:55:07 PM

anniezz338

Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

Or no man you wanted wanted you...

Huge difference there.

Exactly.

(in reply to tazzygirl)

Profile

Post #: 353

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 9:23:10 PM

tazzygirl

Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline

There are two ways of looking at that. Either you have been exposed to some of the most cruelest kind of discrimination... or your standards may be off in the kinds of men you seek.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to anniezz338)

Profile

Post #: 354

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 9:55:08 PM

Atropos19

Posts: 56
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Blah. It's not really worth saying anything else. How could I have failed to see the wisdom of the "pretty girl" logic? It seems so clear to me now. I'm fat, therefore I have no right to take issue with how anyone perceives me or how anyone treats me. I'm unattractive, therefore any opinion I might express about love, sex, romance, etc. is automatically invalidated.

"How dare these fatties try to defend themselves and accuse us of being shallow? Don't they realize that they're, like, ya know, fat? Like, really."

Time to go sit alone in the corner and leave the popular kids to themselves. That's the way they prefer it anyway.

(in reply to anniezz338)

Profile

Post #: 355

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 10:20:08 PM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

This weakness is why you fail. There are many routes into a woman's bed, but throwing a tantrum and sulking is not one of them.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Profile

Post #: 356

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 10:27:19 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19

Blah. It's not really worth saying anything else. How could I have failed to see the wisdom of the "pretty girl" logic? It seems so clear to me now. I'm fat, therefore I have no right to take issue with how anyone perceives me or how anyone treats me. I'm unattractive, therefore any opinion I might express about love, sex, romance, etc. is automatically invalidated.

"How dare these fatties try to defend themselves and accuse us of being shallow? Don't they realize that they're, like, ya know, fat? Like, really."

Time to go sit alone in the corner and leave the popular kids to themselves. That's the way they prefer it anyway.

That is just sad... really sad. I can't even say why because I don't think you would hear it.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Atropos19)

Profile

Post #: 357

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 10:39:47 PM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Never said I wanted perfect, if you'll look at what I specifically have written. I said I want someone who exercises and eats healthy. That's not perfection, that's just good sense

While you think you're making good sense you might wanna add a little more. Wanting it all and getting it all is the difference between fantasy and reality.

My point was..We aren't perfect...While you focus on things I find superficial and you might the things I focus on don't matter as much..

You're trying to blur the lines between thinking someone overweight is unattractive and thinking that someone who refuses to eat well and exercise is unattractive. I have made it vividly clear that I'm speaking about the latter. There is nothing superficial about wanting to be with someone who exercises and eats well. Did you pay no attention in school as a kid? Why do you think they made you go to gym class? Why do you think your mother made you eat vegetables? Because those things are good for you at a very, very basic, simple level. Because they're the building blocks on which the rest of you balances. The you that you probably want to stick around for a while.

Sure, you're an adult, and you get to smoke, eat crap, refuse to exercise and do all manner of things that are unhealthy for you, but it's not smart. And it's not insensitive or superficial of me to think so, either. In fact, apparently I care more than you do about whoever you're with, if you would be fine with them not doing some form of exercise and perhaps eating food that isn't loaded with corn syrup and pesticides. What I care about is the inside of a person, too. I want their insides working well so their bodies last a long, long time and their sixties and beyond aren't spent in physical pain that could have been prevented with an infusion of organic fruit and vegetables and a brisk daily walk.

The one thing I suppose you're right about is that in the end, it's none of my business what other people do to themselves. Though I do wish that what other people were doing to themselves wasn't en route to bankrupting the country.

(in reply to Icarys)

Profile

Post #: 358

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 10:56:24 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19

Blah. It's not really worth saying anything else. How could I have failed to see the wisdom of the "pretty girl" logic? It seems so clear to me now. I'm fat, therefore I have no right to take issue with how anyone perceives me or how anyone treats me. I'm unattractive, therefore any opinion I might express about love, sex, romance, etc. is automatically invalidated.

"How dare these fatties try to defend themselves and accuse us of being shallow? Don't they realize that they're, like, ya know, fat? Like, really."

Time to go sit alone in the corner and leave the popular kids to themselves. That's the way they prefer it anyway.

Of course you have a right to take issue with how someone perceives you and express your feelings. Just don't expect everyone to agree with you.

But have fun alone in your corner. Because of course the 'popular kids' comprise 100% of the dating pool so if you don't convince the popular kids to change their mind you might as well give up completely, it's not like you'll ever meet anyone who agrees with you about physical appearance.

I'm sure all the women who hate putting up with whinging emo 30 year olds with an entitlement complex will be glad they don't waste their time with you.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Profile

Post #: 359

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/3/2010 11:14:55 PM

jujubeeMB

Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19
Blah. It's not really worth saying anything else. How could I have failed to see the wisdom of the "pretty girl" logic? It seems so clear to me now. I'm fat, therefore I have no right to take issue with how anyone perceives me or how anyone treats me. I'm unattractive, therefore any opinion I might express about love, sex, romance, etc. is automatically invalidated.

"How dare these fatties try to defend themselves and accuse us of being shallow? Don't they realize that they're, like, ya know, fat? Like, really."

Time to go sit alone in the corner and leave the popular kids to themselves. That's the way they prefer it anyway.

Honey. I realize it's hard to see, but people are actually trying to help you here. It may feel pretty shitty to have to listen to, but you need to understand that no one is to blame for your insecurities and your tendency to get rejected by the girls you want. You have every right to take issue if someone says something nasty to you about your weight (hell, I would take issue for you), but you do not get to determine how anyone perceives you. That is entirely up to them, and rightly so. For example: I imagine that there are those who find me less attractive because of my sometimes incredibly confident posts. Do I care? No. Because I'm very, very happy with who I am and what I believe in. Because I don't need to be "popular" or liked by every single person - I need to be true to myself, and myself is kind of preachy sometimes. Would I like to make everyone perceive me in a certain way? No. Because if everyone saw me how I wanted them to, I would never know who the people were who really understood what I was saying, and got it.

You have a unique opportunity with every woman you contact to see if they're going to be the one that gets you. The ones that don't, move on. They will never be right for you. If someone is ridiculing you for how you look, or even tolerating how you look, why would you want to be with them? Move on. And I'm afraid I'm going to stick to my earlier assumption: stop pursuing only girls that you think are "out of your league." Open up your horizons and go on a date with someone you're not too sure about. You take major issue with girls who dismiss you out of hand? Then don't dismiss those you find unattractive out of hand. Think about how they feel - the girls who you're deeming unattractive. If you really feel that you're right about how girls treat you, then you need to live your beliefs and pursue girls with great personalities that you don't find attractive. See if you can force yourself to "look past" not being attracted to someone physically.

And just a reminder: You. Are. Not. Entitled. To. Anything. Like everyone else in the world, you have to work for what you want. If you don't want to work for it, then don't complain when you don't get it.

(in reply to Atropos19)

Profile

Post #: 360