RE: Weight and Master/Dom control

Post #: 361

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 12:06:16 AM

Elisabella

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
There. I added and bolded the rest of what I said so as to actually say what I said and not what you decided to make my words mean, and then I deleted the second half of your sentence so you could see what being misquoted looks like.

Hahaha A+

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 362

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 12:10:30 AM

subkatslut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19

Blah. It's not really worth saying anything else. How could I have failed to see the wisdom of the "pretty girl" logic? It seems so clear to me now. I'm fat, therefore I have no right to take issue with how anyone perceives me or how anyone treats me. I'm unattractive, therefore any opinion I might express about love, sex, romance, etc. is automatically invalidated.

"How dare these fatties try to defend themselves and accuse us of being shallow? Don't they realize that they're, like, ya know, fat? Like, really."

Time to go sit alone in the corner and leave the popular kids to themselves. That's the way they prefer it anyway.

Atropos this really is kind of sad. I am not one of the "pretty popular kids" and I've not disagreed with your sentiment that it would be nice if people would look beyond some of the superficial things that are often looked at. I also understand the frustration of being judged by "pretty popular people" who quite frankly do nothing differently then any of the rest of us but in some random pool of genes just happen to be blessed. Then walk around as if you have to be doing something wrong. Which maybe you are but 90% of the time they are guilty of the same yet hold you to a higher standard.

But you know the truth is that there are plenty of people who aren't like that. There really are. I've never had an issue in finding men...really decent guys even though I'm not "pretty and popular". In fact you could even say they are "out of my league" though it's really just kind of how it's happened and not something I've sought out. I've actually found many don't like the "pretty popular girls". Maybe for some cheap fun when they are younger but after a certain point they are past that and onto what is more important. Not all but many.

Your problem isn't your weight. You need to look deeper. This post of yours reeks of that loud and clear. There are plenty of "fat" guys and girls for that matter who don't have the problems you claim you have. Which should tell you something. Will everyone want you...no but not everyone is desired by everyone regardless of size or anything else for that matter. But if you keep focusing and blaming your weight for all your problems you'll never see past to the things that would still create problems no matter what size you are or to finding someone who will like you for you in spite of your weight.

< Message edited by subkatslut -- 12/4/2010 12:46:15 AM >

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Post #: 363

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 12:36:31 AM

subkatslut

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

quote:

ORIGINAL: subkatslut

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
yes, dominance or lack thereof can be determined by a photo or numbers listed on a profile. Dominance or lack thereof can be determined by anything on earth that the sub doesn't consider dominant. Just as any Dom can look at any sub's profile and decide that she's not submissive because of X trait.

Silly me, I thought

There. I added and bolded the rest of what I said so as to actually say what I said and not what you decided to make my words mean, and then I deleted the second half of your sentence so you could see what being misquoted looks like.

I didn't misquote you. I actually agreed with the part I left out. I totally agree that dominance can be determined by anything on earth by an individual based on their own preferences and likes.

What I didn't agree with is that much, in terms of traits, can be determined by pictures or numbers on a profile. Which is why I responded to that solely. I don't define traits as being something physical which is largely in part what most pics can tell you. There are obviously some exceptions. Numbers can only give you stats and that's more physical so I also don't see how that's really trait revealing.

Traits to me are more like being assertive or responsible or smart or disciplined. They also could be things like loyal or honest or hard working. None of which can really be determined by pics or numbers.

So if my definition of a trait is incorrect then that was my bad and certainly not meant to misquote you. I guess you couldn't fathom me agreeing with any part of your post. Also if you notice I didn't disagree that there weren't traits within a profile that some may not find dominant. I just can't say the same for a pic or a number.

< Message edited by subkatslut -- 12/4/2010 12:43:49 AM >

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 364

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 1:01:13 AM

subkatslut

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Yes I did look at your profile because I had to see if you were actually living in the same country that I am when I read this. ;-)

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

The one thing I suppose you're right about is that in the end, it's none of my business what other people do to themselves. Though I do wish that what other people were doing to themselves wasn't en route to bankrupting the country.

It's off topic but it gave me a good laugh. Unhealthy people are but a drop in the bucket of our country's economical problems. Even in terms of medical costs they are but a drop in the bucket.

Not only that society and government are reaping what they sow...it's not solely about individuals.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 365

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 4:32:26 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

You're trying to blur the lines between thinking someone overweight is unattractive and thinking that someone who refuses to eat well and exercise is unattractive. I have made it vividly clear that I'm speaking about the latter. There is nothing superficial about wanting to be with someone who exercises and eats well. Did you pay no attention in school as a kid? Why do you think they made you go to gym class? Why do you think your mother made you eat vegetables? Because those things are good for you at a very, very basic, simple level. Because they're the building blocks on which the rest of you balances. The you that you probably want to stick around for a while.

Sure, you're an adult, and you get to smoke, eat crap, refuse to exercise and do all manner of things that are unhealthy for you, but it's not smart. And it's not insensitive or superficial of me to think so, either. In fact, apparently I care more than you do about whoever you're with, if you would be fine with them not doing some form of exercise and perhaps eating food that isn't loaded with corn syrup and pesticides. What I care about is the inside of a person, too. I want their insides working well so their bodies last a long, long time and their sixties and beyond aren't spent in physical pain that could have been prevented with an infusion of organic fruit and vegetables and a brisk daily walk.

The one thing I suppose you're right about is that in the end, it's none of my business what other people do to themselves. Though I do wish that what other people were doing to themselves wasn't en route to bankrupting the country.

I ask this sincerely....You are sitting in a book store, have a coffee and readin some high falootin book, while contemplating your place in the universe, and a man walks by. Not just any man, the tall, dark man of your fantasies.

You bat your eyes and then look down, turning red with the visions that pass through your head, helpless, tied down and those eyes piercing to your soul. A shudder runs through your body and you go back to your book, smiling inside at how silly you are.

A few minutes later he walks up to you, says excuse me, but is that book good? You say yes, he asks you if he can buy you a latte or some juice or some veggie natural thing, and you , of course, say yes. Nothing wrong with a talk with a handsome stranger.

He gets your number, calls a few days later and yall go out. He has a gorgeous car and takes you to the finest restaurant. This goes on for a couple of months, you find out he has many of the same ideas about life as you, he is dominant without being overbearing, plus he is fucking loaded!

You finally feel comfortable enough to go to his home. It is as gorgeous as you imagined. Is this a dream? You offer to go make coffee and he accepts and tells you what cabinet it is in. You open the cabinet and you are shocked! Chips, hersheys chocolate syrup to make chocolate milk, nutter butters, reeces, some cans of soup, captain crunch cereal, and one can of beans.

Gasp say you. You walk in there, lip quivering, adn say where is your real food? He laughs and says. That is my real food....I have never eaten healthy in my life, thank goodness I am blessed with great genes! I just go to fancy restaurants sometimes. Didnt you notice I always got the meat and taters? Then he says come here baby, you are so hot.

You cry as you grab your coat, and look at him with trembling lips and tear filled eyes....I am sorry my dear, I can never even consider being with a man so out of control that he can not even eat healthy. I must bid you farewell.....

You tellin me this could happen in your world? Cause there are men out there that are like that....great folks, who eat horrible, but looks wouldnt tell you that....

Just a question...

< Message edited by JstAnotherSub -- 12/4/2010 4:33:29 AM >

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Post #: 366

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:05:21 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

You open the cabinet and you are shocked!

This is a great (and funny) "what if" and made me think.

I can be friends with people who have different values from me but for a LTR, I am looking for someone who shares my values, which include:

Recycling
Voting
Eating real food (does not contain artificial colors and flavors, HFCS, etc.)
Eating meat that did not come from a CAFO
Maintaining physical health
Kinky sex ;)

At the very minimum, he must allow me to do the recycling and food shopping.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 367

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:05:28 AM

sunshinemiss

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And they all said, "Amen."

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Post #: 368

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:08:58 AM

tazzygirl

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ROFL...

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Post #: 369

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 6:41:48 AM

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Combination FR and to Justanothersub's scenerio,

its the SAME concept everyone here is talking about except the person in your scenerio's determination of not being attracted to him came at a different time. Its a preference and by seeing that preference she makes presumptions about whether or not she feels he would be able to do what needs to be done with HER, if he can't do certain things for himself. But there is another concept at play here ----------> MOST FAT DOMS and MASTERS choose to be so. (Now before people get their panties in a wad, i speak only of Doms and Masters because that is what the thread is actually about).  i don't buy the cry that most are fat are so because of some medical condition that makes them so so i fully believe most who are fat are so because they choose to me because the losing the weight is too hard - and yes, this includes when being fat has placed you on meds that make it hard for you to lose. To me, if a Man chooses to be fat then that says a lot about them. And in the end, that makes a huge difference to me when it comes to potential Masters.

Justanothersub, in your scenerio for some people that could very well be a non-preference strong enough to have everything else fade away until all they can focus on is what they eat. They are drawn to what his inshape body represents -- see people JUDGE inshape too, -- it just opens more doors than being fat does and it may take longer to find that one preference that kills the whole buzz.   BUT AGAIN, that's not the point of this thread. This thread is focused on ONE thing or should be and drawing other preferences in to compare is not conducive to proving anything, its about obese Doms and Masters. Its not about in shape Doms and MAsters, its not about loaded Masters etc. And when someone is fat, for some people, it means that they have found that one preference that kills the buzz for them and they don't wish to waste more time getting to know the person as a potential. This isn't worse or better than people who choose to spend their time getting to know a person and disregard their weight or ignore it (until they can't anymore).

To me this thread is all over the place trying to bring every other preference people may have as an argument. I really don't get why people think this is such a big deal or get all indignant. What do you care what people's preferences are i how they choose the person who will have full and utter control over their lives?

For me, what i want from a Man means that i have to see and respect him for what HE has made of himself and his life. I want to be sure that his expectations for himself which more than likely will be transfered to me as his slave are what i need from him. To me, a obese man does not meet those expectations and while i could come to be friends with him and even close friends, his obesity would hinder any ability of me to have that deep and utter respect for him that would elevate him to have the ability to master me.   I am speaking solely from a dynamic perspective when i reject obese men. MOSTLY i am simply NOT attracted to them. And i honestly can't believe people are implying that people should just IGNORE the fact they are NOT attracted to some obese man and push to get to know him.

Maybe you all want to waste your time doing so, but i don't. I won't waste my time keeping someone as a potential IF I AM NOT attracted to them.

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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Post #: 370

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 6:43:00 AM

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quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

yes, dominance or lack thereof can be determined by a photo or numbers listed on a profile.

Silly me I thought dominance was a trait not a look.

Dominance is a concept, and more so, being a Master is a concept of who someone is and who someone is includes all of them.

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 371

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 7:01:13 AM

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Atropos19, you sounds like a whiny kid who wants everything handed to them. I don't remember anyone speaking to you as for what you can and cannot defend or your general opinion. Wow, talk about insecurities.

People are speaking to you as far as your wanting attention from people and you are whining because you don't get it in the romance department.

quote:

"How dare these fatties try to defend themselves and accuse us of being shallow? Don't they realize that they're, like, ya know, fat? Like, really."

You know you really do need to work on yourself. I am not saying that to be mean but your playing field is already narrowed in the romance department because of your size, but your VAST insecurities you readily show because of your size narrows your playing field even more. THIS is also why i tend to shy away from obese Men, because i am the type of person who is utterly attracted to confidence in a Man. Men who are fat to me i have found because i do make friends with all types of people, are very insecure and that comes out a lot.

quote:

Time to go sit alone in the corner and leave the popular kids to themselves. That's the way they prefer it anyway.

Sounds to me like you have issues that have nothing to do with your size.

All in all, you sound like you believe people owe you something. And they don't. You are simply a blip on the scenery for more than a majority of the people in the world. They don't owe you anything. IF you want someone's attention, they don't owe it to you simply because you want them to get to know you. YOU have to be the one that attracts their attention and in the end attract them. Otherwise you will be passed by. As i said before, IF you don't want to be passed by and having someone's attention is THAT important to you, you will need to become what will attract their attention.

Your whole demeanor is very interesting though based on this thread. I mean from what a majority of people are saying they don't judge people by their photos or being obese etc. So from what i am hearing, you should be having no issues getting the attention of most of the women here especially those who have indicated they don't judge people by their size.

SO if this thread is correct and MOST people don't judge potential partners by their appearance, i don't get why you have such a hard time.

angel

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What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
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(in reply to jujubeeMB)

Post #: 372

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 7:11:52 AM

anniezz338

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I would have lovinging caressed the captain crunch like the old friend it was, sighed and closed the cabinet. Then I would have went and played with him like he wanted.

But, at a fairly appropriate time, I would have told him about my stepdad, who is all of 150lbs soaking wet (good genes....uh huh) having 4 strokes this year in a 7 day period. And that one artery is completely blocked and the other was well on it's way. He can't even have surgery because he is in the 85% range for risk of another stroke. Every day he wakes up, he has an 85% chance of a possibly fatal stroke.

I would have "tearfully" pleaded with him to allow me to call his doctor and arrange an appointment for him to have a full blood panel done, just to start. Would I want to scene with someone who could possibly have an 85% chance of a fatal stroke in the middle of it.....well, to say it would distract me is like saying Antartica gets a little cold.

On the flip side, my mother is 100lbs overweight and has been flatly told by her doctor that if she does not get the weight off, she will lose up to 10-15 years off her life. For years, and to this day, anytime my phone rings in middle of the night, my first thoughts are of her and my heart starts pounding like it's going to come out of my chest. She is my favorite person in the whole world. I have told her I will be seriously pissed if I lose her because she won't stick to a diet.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

Post #: 373

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 8:16:06 AM

DesFIP

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So do you tell her what you've said about every other overweight person here? Have you told her to her face that you laugh at her, that she deserves no respect and no love because she's fat? Why not when you've gone out of your way to be that hurtful to every other overweight person about?

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Post #: 374

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 8:20:24 AM

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Her mother isn't the Man in complete and utter control of her life.  Her mom isn't a potential partner for her. Her mom isn't someone she doesn't know and is making a first impression about. So i think all of what many are speaking about in this thread is moot in her situation with her mother. She also has a established relationship with her mother, so the first impression concept is moot. Just because some of us reject men from being potential MASTERS of us, doesn't mean we completely reject them. When i am seeking a potential master, damn straight i look at them in a different way i do average people who may be friends or such. I look at them with the critera associated with the possibility he may have absolute control over me and my life.

On a personal note my fat friends even the guys know this also. They are fine with it as they know i need to be sexually and basically attracted to a man to be in a relationship with him. They know i believe that most fat people are fat because they choose to be and THEY HAVE ALL yes ALL said that they choose to be this way.   Yes they have medical issues that make it hard to lose and in the end they are HONEST with themselves and others that to lose the weight is too hard and not something they wish to expend energy changing at the moment. Even though most bitch they want to lose weight. I am one of those also. So i really don't get your point.

Again, people we are speaking of a SPECIFIC concept in this thread. DOM and MASTERS who are obese Men. People really need to back up on the emotional manipulation they are trying to use as DesFIP has in her last line here.   Just because a woman doesn't want a FAT Master and she rejects MEN SHE DOESN'T KNOW based on their being OBESE as a potential master, doesn't mean that the same woman rejects every fat person.

This is why these fat threads go the way they do because people can't seem to stay on the actual topic rather then want to bring all types of baggage into the thread and make it about all fat people instead of the very specific concept this thread SHOULD be about.

SOME of us are speaking of the specific concept, while others are trying to make it about ALL people.

DesFIP, have you read your own signature lines lately? Just curious.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/4/2010 8:34:11 AM >

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Post #: 375

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 10:25:23 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

I would have lovinging caressed the captain crunch like the old friend it was, sighed and closed the cabinet. Then I would have went and played with him like he wanted.

But, at a fairly appropriate time, I would have told him about my stepdad, who is all of 150lbs soaking wet (good genes....uh huh) having 4 strokes this year in a 7 day period. And that one artery is completely blocked and the other was well on it's way. He can't even have surgery because he is in the 85% range for risk of another stroke. Every day he wakes up, he has an 85% chance of a possibly fatal stroke.

I would have "tearfully" pleaded with him to allow me to call his doctor and arrange an appointment for him to have a full blood panel done, just to start. Would I want to scene with someone who could possibly have an 85% chance of a fatal stroke in the middle of it.....well, to say it would distract me is like saying Antartica gets a little cold.

On the flip side, my mother is 100lbs overweight and has been flatly told by her doctor that if she does not get the weight off, she will lose up to 10-15 years off her life. For years, and to this day, anytime my phone rings in middle of the night, my first thoughts are of her and my heart starts pounding like it's going to come out of my chest. She is my favorite person in the whole world. I have told her I will be seriously pissed if I lose her because she won't stick to a diet.

I missed the part where you say farewell to him. You have found him to be a horrid, out of control person, just it did not show when you looked at him. But you are going to go ahead and play with him and talk about the bad eating habits later......had he been fat, you would have never gotten this far, even if the fat dude had the same eating habits...

You dont like fat folks, That is ok. I am fat, and believe it or not, there are certain looks that I dont like. I dont go for short haired clean shaven men. I like men rough lookin with pubic hairy that aint manscaped. I have never been attracted to a man who was GQ, thin, or blonde. But, when asked out or shown interest by one, I found a way to get out of it without being an ass and saying I am sorry, the way you look is just not something I want to wake up next to.

Eating poorly, not exercising, being sedentary, all those things are choices.

Being fat or thin is, most of the time, genetics. there are as many folks who appear "normal" (read thin for those of you who want to), as there are fat folks, who have horrid eating habits, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, dont exercise, have strokes, heart attacks, brain tumors, breast cancer, pick your disease.

Some of us show it when you look at our shell of a body, some do not.

It is ok to say "I could never be attracted to a fat person". Really, it is. Contrary to popular belief, fat folks aint out to fuck anything that will have us. We have our own ideas of sexy, that vary as much as they do with any other part of the population. It is ok!!!

What chaps my fat ass it saying you could not ever be with someone who is undisciplined with their diet, then say "I would go play and, later try to get him to let me change him".

Own it, you could never be attracted to A FAT MAN. That is ok. But please, do not give me that line about you can judge every aspect of a persons personality and life choices by their outer shell. You can not now, and never have been able to, judge a book by its cover.

Someone ought to make that a common saying or something, Don't judge a book by its cover. Has a nice ring to it dontcha think?

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Post #: 376

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 10:43:07 AM

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I didn't know people were asking permission or trying to get approval from you or anyone else as to what they prefer and how they vet a person who is a potential Master of Dom to them. Personally i am calling BS on everyone who has posted in this thread who indicate that they NEVER take a person's appearance into consideration OR attraction when they vet a person. So it would be nice if this sanctimonious tones i keep hearing and the passive aggressive snifs get put away.

So before you start deciding what a person should and should not do in vetting a person, i suggest you really look at what YOU do to vet a person. Because i am calling bullshit on everyone here who is acting like they NEVER take looks or attraction into account when they judge a person for a prospective Master or Dom.

Maybe its what you WANT to believe of yourself, but to me a lot of people here are lying to themselves in order to try and appear like they are some i don't even know what -- kinder, nicer, than people who are honest?

Personally i have never seen ANYONE who states they reject people because they are fat remotely indicate they can tell EVERYTHING ABOUT A PERSON. So please stop making crap up so you can try and make yourself look better. However, just like EVERY PERCEPTION you have of a person, you can in fact perceive things from a person's appearance.

So while you may think people are asking for your approval, i suggest you realize what i think most of us are doing is simply being HONEST about your preferences instead of dicking around pretending we don't judge people who are potential masters.

Sorry folks but i am calling bullshit. I don't believe most of what most of you are saying simply because many of you are MAJOR posters on this message board and MOST of you love to run in and jump to conclusions about how people describe relationships, or people and many of you LOVE to judge profiles, your judgments about people you don't know are all over this board and most people you don't know and never will, you simply take the information given in public and draw conclusions, presume things and assume things about people. So sorry if i don't believe that when you judge something as important as a potential master for you or a romantic relationship, you suddenly flip in personality and don't judge on first impressions and visual first impressions.

You all aren't as sainted as you are making yourselves believe you are. Many of you are way to judgmental, sarcastic, and love to make fun of people for me to remotely believe you suddenly become a different person when browsing profiles or vetting potential masters.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/4/2010 10:48:29 AM >

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Post #: 377

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 10:50:12 AM

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Now barely, I was asking the OP...but I will answer part of your tirade.

I am not looking for your opinion or approval for what I post. I never said attraction does not play a part. It is ok to NOT be attracted to anything or anyone, fat or whatever.

Quit making stuff up and reading things in to what I write that I do not mean, just so you can dazzle me with your brillance. I do not care.

Have a goodun barely, and thank you for your concern!

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Post #: 378

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 10:58:53 AM

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chuckles, did i hit a nerve is that why you are deliberately calling me barely? Yeah i think so.

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Post #: 379

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 11:05:26 AM

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Yeah, that is it. By totaly misrepresenting what I typed and asked, when it was not even directed to you, you hit a nerve.

I call ya barely cause it is the first part of ya name. No other reason.

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