RE: Weight and Master/Dom control

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 6:27:15 AM

JstAnotherSub

Posts: 6174
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
For you to imply that the only reason anyone would read or respond to a thread like this is for the excitement of a conflict thread, well, I will just say at least my fat is visible when you look at me. Some folks only show their ugly when they open their mouth.

What better way to prove you don't enjoy conflict than to call someone ugly.

Please. Just...please.

If all you get from what I typed is some notion that I said it because I love conflict, well, nothing I can say here will change that. Have a nice day.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 7:46:11 AM

slavekal

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I would have a problem being with a very overweight Mistress. One of the MANY things I admire about Mistress Mlicious is that she works out, eats right, and has the firm body of a woman twenty years younger.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 10:33:24 PM

jujubeeMB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
For you to imply that the only reason anyone would read or respond to a thread like this is for the excitement of a conflict thread, well, I will just say at least my fat is visible when you look at me. Some folks only show their ugly when they open their mouth.

What better way to prove you don't enjoy conflict than to call someone ugly.

Please. Just...please.

She just wants to lash out because she's upset. People get upset when you point out the pink elephant in the living room. And before JstAnotherSub freaks out and thinks I'm calling someone an elephant, that's a common expression referring to the obvious, uncomfortable truth that no one wants to admit.

The only things I've talked about in this thread are a) the importance of nutrition and exercise for everyone, b) overweight men can be Doms, c) you are not entitled to women automatically because you want them to be attracted to you, and d) I don't think that self-righteous forgiveness of a desperate apology is very cool. I feel for the OP, because while she may have been wrong in her premise (or right, depending on who you are), all she's learned here is that if her opinion about something isn't in synch with everyone else's, she has to apologize for even bringing it up.

I suppose I should have instead talked about how a) you should eat as many candy bars as you possibly can and make sure you never break a sweat, b) overweight men can't be Doms, c) you are entitled to any woman you want; women who aren't attracted to you are bitches who should be giving you a chance, and d) I think everyone who expresses an opinion that we violently disagree with should be crucified.

Fortunately, I didn't say any of that because I'm sane and have values. Ok, peacing out of this thread because there just aren't any more circles to go in. I wish you all health and happiness.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 11:00:53 PM

AquaticSub

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Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

I feel for the OP, because while she may have been wrong in her premise (or right, depending on who you are), all she's learned here is that if her opinion about something isn't in synch with everyone else's, she has to apologize for even bringing it up.

I suppose I should have instead talked about how a) you should eat as many candy bars as you possibly can and make sure you never break a sweat, b) overweight men can't be Doms, c) you are entitled to any woman you want; women who aren't attracted to you are bitches who should be giving you a chance, and d) I think everyone who expresses an opinion that we violently disagree with should be crucified.

Fortunately, I didn't say any of that because I'm sane and have values. Ok, peacing out of this thread because there just aren't any more circles to go in. I wish you all health and happiness.

You can feel for the OP all you like - tons of people agreed with her. I do feel that she should apologize because of the incredibly rude and personal attacks she made on some of the people who responded to her during this thread - post 190.

quote:

Bones, your weight isn't posted. I got your number. If you spent the time you did giving your opinion on this thread and instead got on a treadmill, you might not be so bitter. You protest too much to be valid.

Aquaticsub, if you are at work being PAID to work, maybe you should work instead of playing some kind of popularity contest. If I was your manager, I would kick your ass to the curb so hard, your fat ass would bounce all the way across the street.

Icarys, your an ass but your hot.

OMG...was I judgemental?!? Where's my 45...I'm going to blow my brains out....I'm not worthy.

So far, I'm the only one who was apologized to at all as far as I can see.

As for the thread and bringing it up ... meh. Sorry jujubee, but if you think that she got ganged up on and no one agreed with her or defended her or that the overwhelming view of this thread is what you stated above... we just read this thread with a 180 view on things.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 11:09:05 PM

Atropos19

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The thing that really takes me aback about this whole debate, is the hostility I sense from some posters. Being an overweight man, I'm accustomed to a certain degree of contempt, scorn, dismissal, etc. But anger? Is there something about me (and others) being fat that actually pisses people off? Or is it just when we dare to stand up and challenge others' assumptions that the claws come out?

Take juju's statement about "eating as many candy bars as you like and never breaking a sweat" (and this is in no way intended as a personal attack, I'm just using this quote as a case in point): I don't sit around eating candy all the time, and I don't know of any overweight person that does. Now maybe she was just joking, but even if so, I have to wonder how much truth is lurking below the surface there. Is this really the image she (and others) have of people like me?

You know, I was watching a movie the other day (a cinematic masterpiece by the name of "Gamer," starring Gerard Butler of "This... Is... SPAR-TUH!!!" fame). In this film is a scene of (and yes, even I can admit it) a disgustingly fat man, sitting alone in a dark room, looking greasy and covered with sweat, eating a pair of syrup-soaked waffles with his bare hands. Is that really what people think we do? I can't count the number of times I've watched a movie or TV show that featured an overweight person sitting down to eat with other people... the other people are never eating, while the overweight man has ten plates spread out in front of him. I can't speak for anyone else, but I've never in my life eaten ten plates of anything at a sitting, nor even half that many, much less had them all spread out before me at the same time. (The fat man also usually wears a bib that is comically too small for him... don't ask me what that's about). I see something like that, and I think... really? Is this what people imagine when they see me walking down the street?

I'm heavyset. That's the way it is. Does that mean I'm not fit to be a good boyfriend, a good Domme, or a good... anything, except perhaps a personal trainer? I don't think so, at least no more than any number of other unhealthy or self-destructive habits. Others, of course, are free to think differently.

I do want to address one more thing... this issue that I supposedly think that I'm "entitled" to have women that I'm attracted to, be attracted to me. I said that? Seriously? No. What I said was, I resent people dismissing me out of hand because of my weight, whether romantically, socially, or in any other context. I think I (and most others) deserve better. Is that really so threatening? Yet somehow this is interpreted as me believing that I'm entitled to have nubile damsels falling at my feet. I just don't understand how people think, sometimes. *shakes head*

< Message edited by Atropos19 -- 12/5/2010 11:12:12 PM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 12:27:49 AM

gungadin09

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i actually thought it was a good debate (although i wasn't here for some of the nastier bits). The fact that so many people had different opinions is just evidence that there was something there to discuss. The different views are what made the thread interesting.

When i first started posting on CM, i was taken back by the hostility on some of these threads. i was advised by some very smart people, and i learned, to get used to it. Collarme has no exclusive "discussion groups". Anyone can post on any thread. Which means that you're gonna get a good spread of opinions on any subject. For anything you post, there will be people who violently agree with you, and people who violently disagree. It is impossible not to ruffle feathers here. It comes with the territory, i guess. Heat, kitchen, and all that.

i can see two sides to this question. On the one hand, the freedom of espression; the freedom of posters to state their candid, uncensored opinions, without being obliged to "be nice", the only condition being that they don't violate TOS. On the other hand, there is a sort of mob mentality that leaps at the chance to start gunning people down. i think jujubee is right- there is a part of all of us that thrives on conflict.

In the end these threads blow over. We forgive and forget. i have come to find this sort of raw honesty refreshing, even if the emotional level and maturity of some responses, is not.

Thank you all for the opportunity to debate, and to observe human nature in action. i hope if i hurt anyone's feelings that they will forgive me, as i forgive anyone who hurts mine. We all had the right to speak our minds, and, in fact, we all did. That's what we're here for. i don't think anyone has anything to apolygise for. i have the highest respect for you all.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 12/6/2010 12:43:24 AM >

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:01:20 AM

MrCyanide

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Who would you take more serious as a Dom:

These guys:

Or a larger guy, such as myself

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:23:34 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
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How.... how did you find a shirtless, tattooed man whose tattoos turn me off? I have no idea if he would be a good dom or master or *insert your term here* but I know that his tattoos make me sad. Are those guns going into his pants?

<--- sad panda.

(No people, this is not an invite to flood my inbox trying to top it!)

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/6/2010 1:37:24 AM >

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:32:48 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrCyanide

Who would you take more serious as a Dom:

I would take neither more or less serious, however I feel the strong need to express something
*clears throat* I wanna hump your face...

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:38:26 AM

Awareness

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Joined: 9/8/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19
The thing that really takes me aback about this whole debate, is the hostility I sense from some posters.

People express their disdain and loathing for people in various ways. Fact is, the fatter someone is, the more disdain and loathing people tend to instinctively feel - in the same way that they feel positive about and attracted toward a hot chick or a buff dude. It's not conscious.

quote:

In this film is a scene of (and yes, even I can admit it) a disgustingly fat man, sitting alone in a dark room, looking greasy and covered with sweat, eating a pair of syrup-soaked waffles with his bare hands. Is that really what people think we do?

Hollywood employs cultural stereotypes and exaggerates them for effect. In many cases, these stereotypes play up the flawed aspects of the character - sometimes to ridiculous levels. It should be irrelevant to you.

quote:

I'm heavyset. That's the way it is.

No - and this is the major issue. There's an increasing body of evidence that suggests that in many ways, it's how you choose to be - it is not simply "the way it is". Psycho-cybernetics as a controlling influence upon the body is increasingly seen as an intrinsic part of obesity. The tough part of this is that people often extrapolate this to say that this is your fault. It's not so much a matter of fault, but of various influences which put you where you are. Your task is to work your way back to health using whatever means can combat these influences.

quote:

Does that mean I'm not fit to be a good boyfriend, a good Domme, or a good... anything, except perhaps a personal trainer? I don't think so, at least no more than any number of other unhealthy or self-destructive habits. Others, of course, are free to think differently.

Attraction is unconscious. It doesn't take place as a result of decision-making, it works below the level of conscious awareness. And there's an argument to be made that obesity is at least partially a consequence of unresolved internal issues. So people could reasonably extrapolate, yes.

quote:

I resent people dismissing me out of hand because of my weight, whether romantically, socially, or in any other context.

Your resentment harms only you. You need to accept the fact that you are fundamentally in competition with other men for power, resources and women. Embrace that fact and start competing for them. Because you sure as shit don't get anything in this life by hoping it'll drop into your lap.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:40:39 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

*clears throat* I wanna hump your face...

I knew we'd find something we agree on!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SpiritedRadiance)

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:43:58 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

*clears throat* I wanna hump your face...

I knew we'd find something we agree on!

Theres also mutual enjoyment of Ivy, I have a beautiful tat on my left shoulder of English ivy on vines (hehe I just saw the comment under your name of Resident Poison Ivy)

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:45:08 AM

MrCyanide

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

*clears throat* I wanna hump your face...

I knew we'd find something we agree on!

Uhhh... I'm going to guess that's a compliment... I don't see why, but thanks none the less. :P

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:47:06 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrCyanide

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

*clears throat* I wanna hump your face...

I knew we'd find something we agree on!

Uhhh... I'm going to guess that's a compliment... I don't see why, but thanks none the less. :P

Its a huge compliment... I havent humped anyones face in my entire life... Or had oral *sad sigh*... or had sex in over a year... so HUGE compliment...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:49:28 AM

MrCyanide

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrCyanide

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

*clears throat* I wanna hump your face...

I knew we'd find something we agree on!

Uhhh... I'm going to guess that's a compliment... I don't see why, but thanks none the less. :P

Its a huge compliment... I havent humped anyones face in my entire life... Or had oral *sad sigh*... or had sex in over a year... so HUGE compliment...

Why hasn't anyone done it for you? UGH. They need to be shot... Oral is one of my favorite, if not THE favorite things to do to a girl. (And yes, by THE favorite, i do mean more of a favorite then actual intercourse.)

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:51:14 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrCyanide
Why hasn't anyone done it for you? UGH. They need to be shot... Oral is one of my favorite, if not THE favorite things to do to a girl. (And yes, by THE favorite, i do mean more of a favorite then actual intercourse.)

Because not all men are giving men... and im a fat bitch who has that womanly sway...

_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:51:38 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

Theres also mutual enjoyment of Ivy, I have a beautiful tat on my left shoulder of English ivy on vines (hehe I just saw the comment under your name of Resident Poison Ivy)

Ooo.... pretty. I've thought about getting some Ivy though mine would be a tribute to both the plant and the comic book character. I'd love to get some creeping along the underside of my wrists towards my elbows but I think it would just be too visible.

And MrCyanide, yes, yes it is. Spirited and I don't exactly see eye-to-eye all the time.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:54:00 AM

MrCyanide

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SpiritedRadiance

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrCyanide
Why hasn't anyone done it for you? UGH. They need to be shot... Oral is one of my favorite, if not THE favorite things to do to a girl. (And yes, by THE favorite, i do mean more of a favorite then actual intercourse.)

Because not all men are giving men... and im a fat bitch who has that womanly sway...

Well then you're right up my alley. Skinny women just don't have what it takes to give me what I want. No offense to any thin women that may be offended by my statement, whom which I doubt would even be offended that such a guy as myself wouldn't be interested in them. Ha. We are SO off topic right now.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:54:34 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MrCyanide

Why hasn't anyone done it for you? UGH. They need to be shot... Oral is one of my favorite, if not THE favorite things to do to a girl. (And yes, by THE favorite, i do mean more of a favorite then actual intercourse.)

I used to be with a dominant like that. Sadly (and yes, I know I'm a freak for this) I'm really not a big fan of receiving it. Unless he's got me tied down or just grabs my hips and tells he is gonna do it regardless of if I like it. That I like.

I find it rather ironic that I, as woman who just could take it or leave it (and I've had some talented guys preform it - it's just not something that really gets me going like some people don't like flogging or singletails), have a knack for attracting men who love to give it.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 12/6/2010 1:55:18 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/6/2010 1:55:18 AM

SpiritedRadiance

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You A) have mail, and b) mine will eventually wrap down my sides and back and end on my hips in a curl

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"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

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