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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 4:44:39 PM

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Ok, can we please stop this? Every single person, opinion and preference in this thread is valid. Every person who contributed is valuable.

This is all my fault. I f'd up, worded it wrong, and realize now it was just a bonehead thing to do to even post it period. I'm also pretty sure I'll make more bonehead statements in the future. It's a package deal. What can I do.

Thanks to all who contributed.

(in reply to Twoshoes)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:18:10 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: anniezz338

Ok, can we please stop this? Every single person, opinion and preference in this thread is valid. Every person who contributed is valuable.

This is all my fault. I f'd up, worded it wrong, and realize now it was just a bonehead thing to do to even post it period. I'm also pretty sure I'll make more bonehead statements in the future. It's a package deal. What can I do.

Thanks to all who contributed.

Dang chickie, I gotta say thats the classiest thing I have seen posted on this thread yet....

Good luck finding what you seek.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:24:38 PM

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Hey now. I posted a poem by Maya Angelou. She's pretty damn classy.

But I agree. Good on you annie for taking responsibility for setting up a cluster fuck. Meh it happens! Live and learn.

best,
sunshine

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Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:25:37 PM

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Friend speaks my mind.

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Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 5:28:57 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Hey now. I posted a poem by Maya Angelou. She's pretty damn classy.

But I agree. Good on you annie for taking responsibility for setting up a cluster fuck. Meh it happens! Live and learn.

best,
sunshine

Maya is classy, but I gotta give Annie credit.....

I think Maya would understand

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 7:05:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subkatslut
It's off topic but it gave me a good laugh. Unhealthy people are but a drop in the bucket of our country's economical problems. Even in terms of medical costs they are but a drop in the bucket.

I don't need to argue with you on this one. Just read the news sometime.

quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
You cry as you grab your coat, and look at him with trembling lips and tear filled eyes....I am sorry my dear, I can never even consider being with a man so out of control that he can not even eat healthy. I must bid you farewell.....

You tellin me this could happen in your world?

I enjoyed your story very much - it sounded like a lot of fun to write.

And if I couldn't convince him to change his eating habits, of course I would leave. Do you really think I'm just being silly here? This is a very important value of mine, and it's not going away the first time some loaded, tall dark charming stranger comes up to me. I would turn a blind eye to an overindulgent dessert every now and then, but I wouldn't ditch everything important to me in life (like my partner living a long time and taking care of his body) because I found someone hot.

Think of it this way: pretend I went home with the Mr. Darcy look-a-like and found out all his cupboards were full of cigarettes. He ate good, healthy meals, but smoked a pack a day and had zero intention of stopping. I would feel exactly the same about that, because they're both deal breakers. Basically, I have a self destruction deal breaker. I find I am only attracted to men who are not slowly killing themselves and pretending they're not. I don't have that many major values, so if the person I'm with doesn't match up with those, he's not the guy for me.

By the way, probably half of the men I've dated have been somewhat overweight. So I would be careful of trying to imply that I'm veiling a dislike for overweight people, because I'm probably more open minded about who I'm attracted to than most of the people on this site. I'm being honest with you: it's about healthy eating and exercise to me. And also, I've noticed that no one is arguing with me that they're overweight and eat healthy and exercise. To which I would respond "great, then you're doing well," but no one seems to be saying it. And that's why people link weight with health.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness
* People are implicitly judged based upon appearance. That's how we're all wired. EG: Attractive people do better in court.
* Everyone makes initial choices based upon attraction and the underlying cause of any obesity doesn't change that attraction.
* Men like hot chicks. Men will generally try and nail the hottest chick they can. Other attributes only become important in a relationship context
* Women like confident, assertive, socially dominant guys with their shit together. Looks for many women aren't generally as important.....

... but not online. Online, women can only go by appearance, attributes and text. Plus they get bombarded by email. So online, women turn into men.

All of that is 100% true, especially the bolded part. And if I were to remain on topic (which I'll do if people stop replying to what I'm saying) I would say that that's all I need to say on the subject.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
I actually grew up in Europe, so I didn't know what corn syrup was and I'm fairly certain anything my grandparents grew could easily be certified organic. Actually, my longest standing complaint about Canada is that all the produce tastes wrong.

Yep, exactly. If they can do it in Europe, we should be doing it here. And I know exactly what you mean - after spending three months living in France, when I came back to the United States and ate a salad at a regular restaurant, I was totally shocked. Ever since then, I don't eat anything but organic if I can help it.

(in reply to subkatslut)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 7:10:55 PM

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I would like to go on record saying that I don't think the OP needs to be apologizing for setting up the thread. I didn't read everything she posted, so I don't know if any of that needs apologizing for, but the thread itself is not something worth banging her head up against a wall for. I don't agree with her original point, but it certainly is her right to express it and even get flamed for it.

Besides, everyone who posted ought to admit that they enjoy the conflict threads - the message boards can get very, very boring without them.

(in reply to anniezz338)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 7:13:51 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Besides, everyone who posted ought to admit that they enjoy the conflict threads - the message boards can get very, very boring without them.

We are so lucky to have someone who lets us know what we ought to be doing.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 7:48:31 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Besides, everyone who posted ought to admit that they enjoy the conflict threads - the message boards can get very, very boring without them.

We are so lucky to have someone who lets us know what we ought to be doing.

You're welcome.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 8:00:06 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Besides, everyone who posted ought to admit that they enjoy the conflict threads - the message boards can get very, very boring without them.

With all due respect... You have no idea what I enjoy. There are many threads and topics that I now avoid because I dislike conflict threads. Certain ones will gain my attention for various factors. This one did that through a combination of the original premise, discussion with others, the OP saying she would 'kick my fat ass' and then apologizing and some chatting with others.

Please do not attempt to tell me what I like or dislike.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 8:40:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
With all due respect... You have no idea what I enjoy. There are many threads and topics that I now avoid because I dislike conflict threads.

Please do not attempt to tell me what I like or dislike.

Ok, I've been around the boards long enough by now to have heard almost every single person guiltily admit they kind of get a sick pleasure out of the conflict threads. I wasn't specifically addressing you, and if you dislike conflict threads then what I said doesn't apply to you, though I can't understand why someone would post sixteen times in a thread that they were getting no enjoyment from.

I generally really like what you post, and have no interest in having a fight with you over something that nitpicky. What I originally said I stick by because I think it's kind of ludicrous to crucify someone for making a thread that gave people 21 pages of something to do, at the very least.

You're in a different position than most, because apparently she insulted/threatened you (very uncool and I understand your issues with the thread), but I really don't think the OP was the focus of the conversation. She started it, but it definitely became about 15 different conversations and half of those were conflicts. You can't tell me that no one enjoyed themselves at all through those debates and conflicts. Self-righteousness (one of the predominant attitudes of this thread) can feel awfully damn good.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 8:56:56 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Yep, exactly. If they can do it in Europe, we should be doing it here.

When your cultural upbringing includes certain things, you just do them naturally and it doesn't seem like "doing" anything special.

Also, it's a lot easier to convince people to do what you want by getting them to love it, love what it represents or love what you represent than by making logical arguments.

Logical arguments don't even work well on scientists. They may keep disagreeing with you based on purely subjective interpretations until they absolutely have to grudgingly change their mind. If you can excite them about something, you can get them on board much quicker.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 9:06:20 PM

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That no one? Of course not - I'm not them. Are there threads I get a 'sick' pleasure from? Sure. But conflict threads like this aren't it.

As for why I posted however many times (I haven't counted, lol)... like I said - I got into several side chats in addition to my issue with the OP which I hoped to see answered more clearly (the no weight listed part). Pleasure... I certainly wouldn't say I've enjoyed this thread. I have enjoyed other posts that the OP has made but certainly not this one.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 9:13:59 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
Also, it's a lot easier to convince people to do what you want by getting them to love it, love what it represents or love what you represent than by making logical arguments.

Ain't that the truth. Hard to remember when you're completely in love with logic, however

(in reply to Twoshoes)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/4/2010 10:03:12 PM

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quote:

Besides, everyone who posted ought to admit that they enjoy the conflict threads - the message boards can get very, very boring without them.

Meh! Some days i like em... some days i dont. I tend to stick to the conflict threads when its deserved and where its expected... in the P&R section.

Guess i should go now and tell Master im collared to a submissive women, since you are telling me what i should do and all.

But, by golly, it hasnt gotten that cold since the last ice age!

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Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 3:06:33 AM

Toppingfrmbottom

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It's perfectly fine in my opinion to dismiss someone if you're not attracted to them, because of looks, or weight, or any other reason. It sucks to be rejected, but rejection is a part of life. If I looked at the man I am with today and originally thought ewww, he's fat, blond hair blue eyed, and I only want muscular brown hair brown eyed guys, so he's completely unattrative to me, there's no point in seeing what his personality is like IT'S COMPLETELY, my right to pass him up for someone I do find attractive, Would I be rude about it and tell him to his face all I think when I look at you is ewww hell no? No, I wouldn't. But it'd be even wronger of me, to lead him on and believe he has a chance of me liking him for who he is, if I am not attracted or interested in him at all.

And if he looked at me and my weight and my apperances, and how I do or do not present myself, and thought, oh hell no, then as long as he wasn't nasty to me or tried to make me any less deserving of compassionate treatment, I'd be ok with his assesment that he didn't see anything in my looks or presentment of myself that made him want to know more, let alone maybe an eye to date me.

For the record I don't think anything of the sort obviously, neither does he, because we have been together for 4 years, and we live together full time for at least 2 of those years , through thick and thin, and that's not a weight pun.

It's unbecoming, in my opinion for people to continually say it's not fair for people with preferances to pass up people who're not the lookers preferance. It's not ok to be rude or mean or act like the other is any less worthy of being treated like a human being with decent kindness, but can those who're beating the dead horse of how unfair it is to be passed up based on a preferances someone has like weight or looks , please stop beating that horse, It's going to happen. It does happen, and people should just learn to accept that, and stop be moaning it, and do something more productive with their time and efforts.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Atropos19

The one fairly strong statement I've made in this thread, and I stand by it, is that yes, I believe it's short-sighted to judge people *solely* based on their weight/physical appearance, whether you're judging their "dateworthiness," their suitability for a job, their capacity to be dominant or submissive, or their overall worth as a human being. I'm surprised that so many people seem to have such a vehement reaction to that.

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RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 4:46:21 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

I would like to go on record saying that I don't think the OP needs to be apologizing for setting up the thread. I didn't read everything she posted, so I don't know if any of that needs apologizing for, but the thread itself is not something worth banging her head up against a wall for. I don't agree with her original point, but it certainly is her right to express it and even get flamed for it.

Besides, everyone who posted ought to admit that they enjoy the conflict threads - the message boards can get very, very boring without them.

I would like to go on the record again as saying I think the OP showed class by admitting she worded things badly and trying to apologize.

I will also go on record as saying I think it shows no class at all for you to presume to know why others replied. I can assure you I replied in an honest attempt to figure out why so many feel it is ok to judge all fat folks to be out of control and lazy. It is something that I, as a fat person, face more times that you would believe.

I never got upset while replying to anything on this thread, I can not speak for others.

For you to imply that the only reason anyone would read or respond to a thread like this is for the excitement of a conflict thread, well, I will just say at least my fat is visible when you look at me. Some folks only show their ugly when they open their mouth.

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yep

(in reply to jujubeeMB)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 5:29:39 AM

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Bursts out laughing -- yeah people don't like conflict threads thats why so many are taking a statement personal and running in to stamp their feets saying don't you dare tell ME what to do. I mean come on people how juvenile can you get.

You are making a conflict where their doesn't need to be one so you really may want to rethink where you say you don't like conflict etc.

Utterly unbelievable people are now responding with the "don't you tell me what to do," i mean seriously? And the "Your not my daddy, you can't tell me what to do"

Come on people, for those who are doing it, even you have to see how juvenile you are being in hindsight.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/5/2010 5:31:03 AM >

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(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 5:35:25 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JstAnotherSub
For you to imply that the only reason anyone would read or respond to a thread like this is for the excitement of a conflict thread, well, I will just say at least my fat is visible when you look at me. Some folks only show their ugly when they open their mouth.

What better way to prove you don't enjoy conflict than to call someone ugly.

Please. Just...please.

(in reply to JstAnotherSub)

RE: Weight and Master/Dom control - 12/5/2010 6:00:30 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I admit I am one who goes by first impressions. If I first see a man and he's heavyset, dresses sloppily, smells like he hasn't taken a shower in a week, walks like he's about to fall over, etc...yeah, I'm not going to go any further than that with him. I find nothing at all attractive about him and how he looks speaks volumes to me. I don't think we'd even get along as friends since just from looking at the way he takes care of himself and holds himself we probably don't have much in common. I'll smile, finish my coffee, stand up, shake his hand and let him know we're not compatible and be on my way.

They say first impressions are made within 3 seconds of seeing a person. For me it's completely true.

If that makes me shallow I'm more than fine with that.

littlewonder,

Why did you lump together being heavyset with being a slob, unhygienic and being wobbly?

Why did the stereotypical "fat slob" come to mind in a discussion of overweight dominant men/ prospective Masters?

Because that IS the cultural default impression. I remember reading a study that surveyed a vast range of people. The greater percentile of people surveyed, even people that were overweight themselves, see overweight people as being less intelligent, dirtier, out of control.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 12/5/2010 6:03:56 AM >

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to angelikaJ)

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