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RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 2:15:55 AM

TolerableCruelty

Posts: 447
Joined: 2/4/2005
Status: offline

the bad news is that you've developed black spots on your lungs from inhaling the fragrance of them, not knowing they'd been sprayed with a horrible insecticide...

Good News !!! your ex-wife got remarried a few months ago and you've been informed your alimony payments will be refunded

(in reply to orokana)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 2:28:01 AM

Posts: 47
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Sweden/Belgium
Status: offline

The bad news is that its you she is remarrying.

Good news!! Your grannie decided she is against matterialism and is giving away all her possesions to you!

_____________________________

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(in reply to TolerableCruelty)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 11:00:33 AM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Good news!! Your grannie decided she is against matterialism and is giving away all her possesions to you!

The bad news is that you now have a lifetime supply of Depends and foot powder

Good news! The government is building a super highway right where your house is and they are going to pay you a small fortune for your house!

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MsLayla)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 12:55:32 PM

Guest

quote:

Good news! The government is building a super highway right where your house is and they are going to pay you a small fortune for your house!

the bad news is they are paying you in government time but you have to move out today.

Good News! The house you want to buy is marked down from it's original listing price.

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 12:58:45 PM

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

the bad news: unfortunately so is the one I am selling to cover the cost of the new one.

the good news is it is only gonna hurt till you pass out.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Guest)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 1:08:51 PM

Posts: 403
Joined: 9/16/2004
From: Southern Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

the good news is it is only gonna hurt till you pass out.

The bad news is, when you passed out, you pissed yourself.

Great news! Your 60 year old mother quit smoking today!

_____________________________

"The reason the mainstream is thought of as a stream is because of it's shallowness." - George Carlin

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most..." - Ozzy Osbourne

(in reply to mnottertail)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 2:23:34 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Great news! Your 60 year old mother quit smoking today!

The bad news is she still drinks and does illegal drugs and gets into many bar fights.

Hey, hey, hey!!! You got a beautiful diamond engagement ring!

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to TheShadows)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 3:47:05 PM

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

The bad news is it's from your uncle.

Good news! You've won a free home makeover.

_____________________________

"I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me, but I might struggle a bit" - Trowa Barton

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 5:02:23 PM

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

Bad news is that every room in the house will be painted school bus yellow.

Good news is that you are now the proud parent of a bouncing baby boy.

(in reply to orokana)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 5:09:22 PM

Posts: 1533
Joined: 4/26/2006
Status: offline

Bad News: he's overweight and is actually shaped like a ball.

Good News: Publisher's Clearing House knocks on your door a large check with your name on it.

< Message edited by michaelGA2 -- 5/2/2006 5:11:33 PM >

_____________________________

Are we having fun, yet?

(in reply to HouseofBear)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 9:02:44 PM

MasterRobsalayna

Posts: 212
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

Bad news is they film it and your probation officer sees you (and it's been waaay too long!).

Good news! You've won a year's worth of cakes from the "cake of the month" club!

_____________________________

Master Rob's alayna
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The only thing in life that i regret is living too many days regretting too many things. Life is for the living and i choose to live!

(in reply to michaelGA2)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 9:49:03 PM

Posts: 1725
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Southwest UK
Status: offline

bad news: you're diabetic

good news: your novel gets published

_____________________________

[/end sarcasm]

My therapist says that would not be appropriate just now

(in reply to MasterRobsalayna)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 10:26:47 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

good news: your novel gets published

The bad news is that you die suddenly in a tragic saltwater taffy pulling contest accident.

Good news! You own a prize winning race horse!

< Message edited by Gauge -- 5/2/2006 10:28:25 PM >

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to siouxie)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/2/2006 11:15:08 PM

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

Bad News: He's over due for the glue factory.

Good News! You have invented a product to stop hair loss.

_____________________________

Tress

"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/3/2006 12:11:53 AM

Posts: 47
Joined: 9/2/2005
From: Sweden/Belgium
Status: offline

Bad news is you tested it on yourself, and the side effects of the first few tests are.. well.. Your hair is not coming back any more.

Good news is that after long unemployment you have gotten a job in the postoffice.

_____________________________

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

(in reply to yourMissTress)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/3/2006 6:45:30 AM

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

The bad news is the guy who's job you took over decides to come in armed to the teeth the next day and chuck a live grenade at you.

Good news! You're going to star in a brand new children's television show.

_____________________________

"I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me, but I might struggle a bit" - Trowa Barton

(in reply to MsLayla)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/3/2006 1:57:01 PM

Gauge

Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Good news! You're going to star in a brand new children's television show.

The bad news is that you get typecast for the rest of your career as Marty The Martian Monkey

Good news! The boss is giving you a nice raise and a fat bonus check!

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to orokana)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/3/2006 4:32:16 PM

Posts: 115
Joined: 4/22/2006
Status: offline

The bad news is it's because you slept with him, and you're sure to get fired if you cut him off.

Good news! You've just released a pop album and it's flying off the shelves.

_____________________________

"I wouldn't mind if you want to kill me, but I might struggle a bit" - Trowa Barton

(in reply to Gauge)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/3/2006 6:41:22 PM

Posts: 331
Joined: 9/23/2005
Status: offline

The bad news is that everyone things you are the new William Hung.

The good news is that one of your background dancers wants to marry you & is releasing his own record.... which is sure to gain you respect.

(in reply to orokana)

RE: Good News/Bad News - 5/3/2006 6:48:49 PM

Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline

The bad news is that it is a police record (felonious of course)

The good news is that you quickly find a new background dancer who is very handsome.

(in reply to amativedame)

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