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SlaveOwnerDave -> What makes a man a man? (12/26/2010 8:19:52 AM)
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As is the case with many men, I have asked myself this question repeatedly, though My years. The Rudyard Kipling piece, "If", posted by sunshinemiss, certainly receives My approval.
Being an engineer---by birth, apparently---My reading tends towards much more towards engineering handbooks, and Science Fiction, than it does toward common literature---even that which can be considered part of our cultural canon. The Kipling is, thus, new to Me, and much appreciated.
I am glad to see no one mentioned beard, muscles, outward behavior, and the like. Those are merely packaging, not even in the running for a place in the definition of a man. One would hardly even consider an attempt to defend the proposition of Steven Hawking not being a man!
In response to My believing My personality to be defective, I began comparing My behaviors with those of "normal people". The premise being differences would be discovered, such that I could alter My personality so that I might better fit in.
This idea has many obvious pratfalls, but that is because We are adults. I was, at that time, yet to turn sixteen. I expected useful data to pour forth from this exercise. Useful, yes; data, no; pour, forget it!
I was, over the years, to discern the defects in this process, and in the logic and the premises behind it. There is a process, but it consists of collecting years' worth of data, and an extremely powerful (i.e. S L O W) data-reduction procedure. Only recently, some forty years since the inception of this project, have sufficient data been reduced to understandable form. Faulty premises, skewed datasets, observer/observed errors, true personality errors (All those childhood traumas, don't you know!), My being an outlier in many ways, My personal growth, systemic errors, noise, volume of raw data, and many more effects, converted the seemingly mundane idea into a lifelong psychology project. One undertaken, as I said, by an engineer, rather than a psychologist. By a newly-independent mind, rather than an experienced adult.
So...
A Man is honest.--Far from being a handicap, I now consider My honesty My best feature.
A Man is correct--If He does make a mistake, He corrects the fallout, wherever it occurs.
A Man is centered--If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs
A Man knows Himself--He admits, and "owns", His errors---He rejects errors others attempt to project upon Him.
There are a few others, but My mind is going numb, and these make up the lion's share.
I have been derided, being told no man is those things. This is true...
The values I listed are a values baseline, they are not a person. One's personality is built upon, and is distinct from, one's values. There are those on here whose opinions and statements I value. There should be no need for Me to point out every one of them is wildly different than I! Indeed, their being different is what gives them their value.
As far as the limitations of the "Men's Movement"---the statement, "If you are homosexual, please don't get involved in this movement 'cause, y'know, we're kinda nervous at the thought of a gay man touching us." shows it to be not a men's movement, but a boy's club. Nothing Manly about bigotry.
My name is Master David Goodmen, and I approve the message I am trying to make! :-)
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