RE: are there any real femdoms? (Full Version)

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LadyNTrainer -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/7/2011 12:57:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankeree
I don't think there's anything in my post that suggests I want a woman to cook for me! or that it's going to be a one way street in the bedroom!


Honestly, there is.  Trust us on this.  There is a unanimous perception from all the women here who have read and commented on your post that you are in fact looking for a one way street and you're not interested in what your partner wants or willing to compromise.  Also there's some major red flags of "one true way-ism" and massive male entitlement, eg, you're not a real femdom if you don't do X sex act, and if you don't do it with me when I want you to.  Hopefully that will tell you something about how you're coming across.  It isn't a recipe for success.


quote:

The post doesn't define me or everything about my sexuality, it's a question concerning something I was wondering about at the time and something i'm interested in. The reason I want a real relationship and don't want to pay for it is because i absolutly believe in and love pleasuring the woman in my life. There are many sides to my sexuality.


Then present yourself as a real person seeking a human relationship and not as a laundry list of sexual acts that you do and don't want.  Table pretty much all explicit mention of the sex stuff; put it waaaay off to one side in an inconspicuous corner of your profile, and then start talking to people like a normal human being, as if you weren't even on an adult site.  That's likely to be a much more productive approach in getting to know people as people, in an environment where we already know everyone here is kinky. 


quote:

As far as my post being a shopping list of desires, a few people mentioned this but i don't think that's the case, certainly not the intention, but in order to ask the question i need to describe what i like and what i don't like


Then if you want to connect with someone on a human level first, it's a question you don't ask until you know them better.  If you wouldn't whip your cock out and start talking about how much you love oral sex in the first five minutes of meeting someone at a party, don't do it here either.  Tact and class and leading with your personality, not your penis, is the way to go if you seek a relationship. 

It sucks maybe, and it's not fair, and it's counterintuitive as hell.  Since we are on an adult site, it's presumably okay to whip out the old weenie and have a go at describing your kinks.  You can if you want, and the moderators won't care.  But neither will the women you're trying to attract.  And that's where your problem is going to be.    



spankeree -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/7/2011 5:20:44 PM)

I don't want to get into an argument, i genuinely want to discuss this and get some insights into BDSM, dominance, submission and even myself, but I have to say that what other people have said and what's in the archives is nothing to do with me.......



LadyHibiscus -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/7/2011 5:25:18 PM)

You are absoolutely free to ignore us. We are only dominant women with successful relationships past and current.

Your first post boils down to "I want a kinky girlfriend who can follow directions". And I am sure that someone exists that fits those criteria. Just not *here*.



VaguelyCurious -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/7/2011 5:37:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankeree

I have to say that what other people have said and what's in the archives is nothing to do with me.......

Oh, but it does. It always does.

The people who come before you have an impact on how you're seen. That's how life works.



LadyPact -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/7/2011 5:47:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankeree

I don't want to get into an argument, i genuinely want to discuss this and get some insights into BDSM, dominance, submission and even myself, but I have to say that what other people have said and what's in the archives is nothing to do with me.......

The thing about that is, a large number of Dominant women are only going to take the time to do all of that with someone that they are interested in a D/s dynamic with.  For example, when I first got clip, I spent a lot of time talking with him about Dominance, submission, how that applies to My life and how he could make it a part of his.  That's something that I think all folks who are looking to see if they are compatible should do with each other.  Yes, it takes a great deal of time, but certainly worth the investment when it is someone that a person wants to have in their life.

So, what you might be interested in doing is finding someone who is looking for the same things that you are to do this with.  That's when people are more likely to invest hours, days, weeks, months to do that exploring that you want to do.





SexyBossyBBW -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 12:09:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
OP, as the joke goes, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that it won't be that difficult to find a woman who will do that.  The bad news is that she won't come to you that way.  You'll have to train her.

You want a submissive woman who likes to please you.  So get one.  When in the bedroom, introduce her gently.  Have her spank you, and I can guarantee it will be lighter than you want.  Enjoy it anyway, and tell her that you enjoyed it.  Hint that you wouldn't mind if it were harder.  Train her - make her associate spanking you/riding you, etc. with you being pleased and praising her.  You say that you want to worship her body - just go do it!  Later, ask her to command you to do so.

Oh, yes, if you introduce a submissive woman to all this, expect her to want to experience the other side of the kneel.  In your intro, you state that you want that as well. so it's all good.

A word about tact - you define a "real" femdom as someone who is submissive everywhere except the bedroom, and dominates you in the bedroom per your wishes.  The femdoms who frequent this forum, have an altogether different take, and likely don't appreciate you implying they're fake.
That is a very generous reply.

For myself, I'm going to go with, if you can't say anything good....     M



Wickad -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 2:23:47 AM)

(fast reply)

Greetings Everyone,

At one point I had been lamenting about how I was having a hard time finding a 'decent' submissive guy. A bright friend of mine took the time to fill me in and I think it is pertinent to this discussion.

He told me that men are goal orientated and have a hard time thinking outside of specific, pre-defined boxes. In this particular case this means that the OP's train of thought might have gone something like:

I"m looking for a woman who is interested in me, but I'm a twisted kinky soul --> this means I have to find a twisted, kinky woman --> those women are Mistress --> how do I find a compatible one who will like the things I like? --> well, if I put out there what I like, then the ones that are like me will contact me --> ergo, I will write my profile to tell them what I like.

This type of thinking does not mean that folks like the OP are not interested in what we, Dominant women, want or like, but rather that this is there way of telling us what they have to offer and who they are. If you think about it, it's the same reason that new guys put up picks of their dicks -->they are looking for sex and they like naked women, thus women looking for sex must like naked male bits. It seems no one has ever explained to these guys (the OP and others) that they have to pitch to their target audience - women.

So, it seems to me that the OP, is just new and ignorant. He doesn't seem to yet understand that this is our little fiefdom and here the rules are different than in the 'real world'. Here, the best way to get a response is to pitch to your target audience. This means that profiles, emails, and posts should be aimed at the women he is writing to (or who are possibly viewing them) and not to a pre-specified generic Dominant woman (you'll note how in this description 'woman' comes last). Women are constantly hit on (real life or online) and can get laid almost anytime and anywhere. What we don't get enough of is people who are interested in us as people and folks who respect us for all of our many facets.

This has been my experience and the things I try to remember when am confronted with entitled, ignorant men who can't seem to figure out what they are doing wrong. Of course, not everyone sees things the way I do - lol.

Wickad (who is very tired and done rambling - g'night)



LadyConstanze -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 3:36:25 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: spankeree

I don't want to get into an argument, i genuinely want to discuss this and get some insights into BDSM, dominance, submission and even myself, but I have to say that what other people have said and what's in the archives is nothing to do with me.......


So if it has nothing to do with you, then maybe ask yourself that if the same thing happens over and over again, would you not start to recognize a pattern? Would you not tell the person "seen it over and over again" and how seriously would you take it if said person would say "But it has nothing to do with me"?



LadyRian -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 6:29:48 AM)

Op, if there's cognitive dissonance between what you consider to be FemDom, and what a FemDom woman considers to be FemDom, my suggestion is that you put your own perceptions aside, and really take notice of what women are saying. Especially as concerns our definition of who we are.

I think doing this will lead to much less confusion on your part, and more possibility of developing a relationship.



Killerangel -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 7:42:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

(fast reply)

Greetings Everyone,

At one point I had been lamenting about how I was having a hard time finding a 'decent' submissive guy. A bright friend of mine took the time to fill me in and I think it is pertinent to this discussion.

He told me that men are goal orientated and have a hard time thinking outside of specific, pre-defined boxes.

Yes! They are and most have the little boxes thing going on.

quote:


In this particular case this means that the OP's train of thought might have gone something like:

I"m looking for a woman who is interested in me, but I'm a twisted kinky soul --> this means I have to find a twisted, kinky woman --> those women are Mistress --> how do I find a compatible one who will like the things I like? --> well, if I put out there what I like, then the ones that are like me will contact me --> ergo, I will write my profile to tell them what I like.

This type of thinking does not mean that folks like the OP are not interested in what we, Dominant women, want or like, but rather that this is there way of telling us what they have to offer and who they are. If you think about it, it's the same reason that new guys put up picks of their dicks -->they are looking for sex and they like naked women, thus women looking for sex must like naked male bits. It seems no one has ever explained to these guys (the OP and others) that they have to pitch to their target audience - women.


Why does it have to be explained to men that they should be courteous and polite? You've hit the nail on the head here with explaining why the laundry lists and dick pictures occur, but come on, we all learn at a young age that we can't go around expecting instant gratification and that we can't use tunnel vision in pursuit of our goals. We're talking about grown, adult, men...not children. Have these men ever waited in a line at the grocery store? So, they've been hungry and figured out in order to eat they have to go through the routine we know as selecting and paying for groceries, as opposed to ripping open packages whenever they feel hunger.

Have they ever been to a party at a friend's house and saw a cute girl that they'd like to get to know better? Did they drop their pants at that point and hope she'd be amazed at what was displayed there and proceed to boink them? I'm sure sometimes it might work but most times...no, it won't.

So these manly problem-solving skills and the tendency to think in boxes is used to successfully navigate life at times, but not at other times like trying to meet women on a site like this. If you are a woman on this site how flattering is that? Are women on an adult site worth less time and energy than other life skills? I don't think that personally but that is how it comes across when a man posts penis pictures and propositions a woman straight away because she happens to be in a place that 'he' associates with easy sex. A couple more seconds of thinking would probably produce a more mannerly approach and a lot of guys don't do that, it's fair in those cases for him to be called on it and shown that women anywhere on any site don't generally want to be interchangeable puzzle pieces that are not even given an extra seconds worth of thought.

quote:


So, it seems to me that the OP, is just new and ignorant. He doesn't seem to yet understand that this is our little fiefdom and here the rules are different than in the 'real world'.

New and ignorant to the site perhaps but not to life. If a guy wants pussy then he should figure out a way to get it. That includes wondering what his target audience would respond to and setting out to do it. This site is not 'our' little fiefdom of pussy, it's just a web site. In general the women here are not asking for anything out of the ordinary, just common courtesy and to be recognized as a unique individual human being with a personality. The women here are not some secret group and certainly not a fiefdom unless i missed that memo. There are no general rules here that are different from the real world, that's the entire point! That is why it's mystifying when a guy comes on here blundering around and doing things he wouldn't do out in general society.

quote:


Here, the best way to get a response is to pitch to your target audience. This means that profiles, emails, and posts should be aimed at the women he is writing to (or who are possibly viewing them) and not to a pre-specified generic Dominant woman (you'll note how in this description 'woman' comes last). Women are constantly hit on (real life or online) and can get laid almost anytime and anywhere. What we don't get enough of is people who are interested in us as people and folks who respect us for all of our many facets.

This has been my experience and the things I try to remember when am confronted with entitled, ignorant men who can't seem to figure out what they are doing wrong. Of course, not everyone sees things the way I do - lol.

Wickad (who is very tired and done rambling - g'night)


In general, I agree that men think differently than women do. This is at the heart of some long-standing difficulties that men and women have. For me, if a man would only think and act like a women I'd have an easier time, but alas they don't. So when i have something to tell a man that I'm with that is important I'll actually spend the time to figure out the best way to do it which generally entails keeping it short and sweet and to the point. If I do 'my' thing it gets emotional and long-winded and men tend to tune out. It's in my best interest to figure out an approach that will work.

Once again, if a guy wants pussy he should spend a little time finding out how to get it. There's really no getting around the fact that he should invest a little time for good results. There are general societal rules for approaching people, he should use them or suffer the consequences, which is no pussy. Men do think differently overall but it's not like they have a handicap, they're entirely capable of putting forth some effort in their attempts to get a woman and I for one want to see that I'm worth some effort beyond a list of what I can do to fulfill someone's fantasies.



tiggerspoohbear -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 8:36:08 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRian

Op, if there's cognitive dissonance between what you consider to be FemDom, and what a FemDom woman considers to be FemDom, my suggestion is that you put your own perceptions aside, and really take notice of what women are saying. Especially as concerns our definition of who we are.

I think doing this will lead to much less confusion on your part, and more possibility of developing a relationship.




Have to agree with LadyRian. Not only is she a close friend, I know her to be a good Dominant Woman who knows where her strengths lie. A male sub would be lucky to have her as his Domme. This of course is IMHO, but I know it to be true.



sexyred1 -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 8:49:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wickad

(fast reply)

Greetings Everyone,

At one point I had been lamenting about how I was having a hard time finding a 'decent' submissive guy. A bright friend of mine took the time to fill me in and I think it is pertinent to this discussion.

He told me that men are goal orientated and have a hard time thinking outside of specific, pre-defined boxes.

Yes! They are and most have the little boxes thing going on.

quote:


In this particular case this means that the OP's train of thought might have gone something like:

I"m looking for a woman who is interested in me, but I'm a twisted kinky soul --> this means I have to find a twisted, kinky woman --> those women are Mistress --> how do I find a compatible one who will like the things I like? --> well, if I put out there what I like, then the ones that are like me will contact me --> ergo, I will write my profile to tell them what I like.

This type of thinking does not mean that folks like the OP are not interested in what we, Dominant women, want or like, but rather that this is there way of telling us what they have to offer and who they are. If you think about it, it's the same reason that new guys put up picks of their dicks -->they are looking for sex and they like naked women, thus women looking for sex must like naked male bits. It seems no one has ever explained to these guys (the OP and others) that they have to pitch to their target audience - women.


Why does it have to be explained to men that they should be courteous and polite? You've hit the nail on the head here with explaining why the laundry lists and dick pictures occur, but come on, we all learn at a young age that we can't go around expecting instant gratification and that we can't use tunnel vision in pursuit of our goals. We're talking about grown, adult, men...not children. Have these men ever waited in a line at the grocery store? So, they've been hungry and figured out in order to eat they have to go through the routine we know as selecting and paying for groceries, as opposed to ripping open packages whenever they feel hunger.

Have they ever been to a party at a friend's house and saw a cute girl that they'd like to get to know better? Did they drop their pants at that point and hope she'd be amazed at what was displayed there and proceed to boink them? I'm sure sometimes it might work but most times...no, it won't.

So these manly problem-solving skills and the tendency to think in boxes is used to successfully navigate life at times, but not at other times like trying to meet women on a site like this. If you are a woman on this site how flattering is that? Are women on an adult site worth less time and energy than other life skills? I don't think that personally but that is how it comes across when a man posts penis pictures and propositions a woman straight away because she happens to be in a place that 'he' associates with easy sex. A couple more seconds of thinking would probably produce a more mannerly approach and a lot of guys don't do that, it's fair in those cases for him to be called on it and shown that women anywhere on any site don't generally want to be interchangeable puzzle pieces that are not even given an extra seconds worth of thought.

quote:


So, it seems to me that the OP, is just new and ignorant. He doesn't seem to yet understand that this is our little fiefdom and here the rules are different than in the 'real world'.

New and ignorant to the site perhaps but not to life. If a guy wants pussy then he should figure out a way to get it. That includes wondering what his target audience would respond to and setting out to do it. This site is not 'our' little fiefdom of pussy, it's just a web site. In general the women here are not asking for anything out of the ordinary, just common courtesy and to be recognized as a unique individual human being with a personality. The women here are not some secret group and certainly not a fiefdom unless i missed that memo. There are no general rules here that are different from the real world, that's the entire point! That is why it's mystifying when a guy comes on here blundering around and doing things he wouldn't do out in general society.

quote:



Here, the best way to get a response is to pitch to your target audience. This means that profiles, emails, and posts should be aimed at the women he is writing to (or who are possibly viewing them) and not to a pre-specified generic Dominant woman (you'll note how in this description 'woman' comes last). Women are constantly hit on (real life or online) and can get laid almost anytime and anywhere. What we don't get enough of is people who are interested in us as people and folks who respect us for all of our many facets.

This has been my experience and the things I try to remember when am confronted with entitled, ignorant men who can't seem to figure out what they are doing wrong. Of course, not everyone sees things the way I do - lol.

Wickad (who is very tired and done rambling - g'night)


In general, I agree that men think differently than women do. This is at the heart of some long-standing difficulties that men and women have. For me, if a man would only think and act like a women I'd have an easier time, but alas they don't. So when i have something to tell a man that I'm with that is important I'll actually spend the time to figure out the best way to do it which generally entails keeping it short and sweet and to the point. If I do 'my' thing it gets emotional and long-winded and men tend to tune out. It's in my best interest to figure out an approach that will work.

Once again, if a guy wants pussy he should spend a little time finding out how to get it. There's really no getting around the fact that he should invest a little time for good results. There are general societal rules for approaching people, he should use them or suffer the consequences, which is no pussy. Men do think differently overall but it's not like they have a handicap, they're entirely capable of putting forth some effort in their attempts to get a woman and I for one want to see that I'm worth some effort beyond a list of what I can do to fulfill someone's fantasies.


This whole post above. I am SO over the endless stream of threads by either submissive or dominant men who just whine, whine, whine about what they want.

Aren't the profiles up for that reason and more to the point, the journals attached?

Why, why, why do grown men have to be lectured by Dommes or subs on how they need to approach women?

It boggles the mind and it also continues to show the differences between the way men and women think.

If you are any type of adult with any cognitive ability and you have ever had any dealings with the opposite sex, it really is not that difficult to discern the correct type of behavior when attempting to meet people.

This is getting so boring already. Whenever I see a thread about Are there any REAL fill in the blank_________, I know I should not click on it. But I do and then I see the never ending patient replies to these men about what women want and how the men should learn a different approach.

But it never works, does it? There are always more waiting in line to write an introduction and whine.

Where are the hot threads? I miss them. [;)]



lizi -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 12:41:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

This whole post above. I am SO over the endless stream of threads by either submissive or dominant men who just whine, whine, whine about what they want.

Aren't the profiles up for that reason and more to the point, the journals attached?

Why, why, why do grown men have to be lectured by Dommes or subs on how they need to approach women?

It boggles the mind and it also continues to show the differences between the way men and women think.

If you are any type of adult with any cognitive ability and you have ever had any dealings with the opposite sex, it really is not that difficult to discern the correct type of behavior when attempting to meet people.

This is getting so boring already. Whenever I see a thread about Are there any REAL fill in the blank_________, I know I should not click on it. But I do and then I see the never ending patient replies to these men about what women want and how the men should learn a different approach.

But it never works, does it? There are always more waiting in line to write an introduction and whine.

Where are the hot threads? I miss them. [;)]


To be fair...part of the reason why there are lots of threads from disappointed men who are not getting what they want is because there is an imbalance in amount of men on this site and others like it as opposed to the amount of women. If there were many more women on here we'd probably read about the same disappointment from the female side fairly often. Lol, I'm sure whining sounds the same from a female perspective but we don't get as much of that because there are fewer females around.

It's like the 'in' toy for Christmas...not a lot of toys and lots of people who want them. There are a lot of people out there who are going to be disappointed when they don't get a toy. Here's the thing though, if you want the popular toy then figure out how to get the damn thing- saying you want one isn't enough to put it under your tree. Sexyred is right...there are endless gentle replies to these disappointed men that try to show them what to do. So why does it seem like there aren't there more men out there that are wising up and getting down to work? There is this feeling of entitlement that abounds among the threads that I've read where men are not getting the woman of their dreams. They do seem to feel that signing up for a profile here guarantees them a woman while doing minimal effort to find her. The ratio of men to women isn't going to change, the men need to put forth the right kind of effort to get what they want.

Once upon a time when I was looking, I received an email from a male switch who expressed interest in me. I returned the email and said I wasn't interested because we wouldn't be a match, but good luck with things. He wrote back and basically said that he must have missed the memo that said we wouldn't be a match, because I was just what he was looking for. Since he was nice, I wrote back and said that I'd explain a bit more about why we wouldn't match. First of all he was a switch and I was interested in a Dom- not saying there is anything wrong with his orientation, but it wasn't what worked for me. Secondly his profile was slanted at him finding a play partner, I myself was looking for a relationship. Thirdly, many of our interests just didn't match up.

Guess what he focused on when he wrote back....the interest list. He said that it was just suggestions and things could be tweaked in order to match up with a partner. He completely ignored what I said about being a switch and that he and I were looking for different things in a relationship- he bypassed the 2 big things that were more telling of a basic incompatibility than the interest list was. Once again I wrote back to say that we really didnt have much to discuss as we were coming from 2 different places and our interests were not a big issue but the other things were. He wrote back to say that our interests could be meshed and we'd find a way to please each other somehow. Once again he completely ignored what I said in order to pursue what he saw as an opportunity. My wishes and my personality were being completely ignored in order to supply this man with a faceless, brainless, kinky partner. Unfortunately, this experience was not an uncommon one. Many times I would be approached and still am with a complete disregard to my own interests and tastes. Just look at how many men will reply to any female profile without actually reading those profiles.

Another man in the journal section was whining nonstop about being too old for most of the women he wanted and that they shouldn't have preferences in age that excluded him. He actually wrote to one woman and told her that while she had an age limit in her profile, she also had someone in her friend's list that was outside of that cutoff. So this guy felt that he should be allowed to pursue this woman, because clearly she opened the door to men of his age by having this other older man in her friend's list. What the heck? He couldn't see outside of his little box that maybe the other older man was a friend or that she had her reasons for having him there on her profile. The journal writer felt entitled to pursue what he wanted regardless of that woman's own wishes for what she was looking for. Then he whined in his journal that this woman that he wrote to blocked him. As she should have.

So men and women think differently but they have to adapt somewhat in order to get what they want from each other. I'm not implying that there is something wrong with men and that men are somehow defective. The complaining that seems to happen so often results from their frustration in the uneven ratio of men to women. They are in the more difficult position here on an adult site and whining isn't ever going to accomplish anything. I've told my sons that excuses are for losers, if you ever think of using one then there is probably something you can DO instead to take the place of that excuse that will get you a result as opposed to getting you nothing. Sitting on your butt complaining is going to get nothing, figuring out what to do will accomplish something.

Treat women like individuals worthy of your time and effort and the women will come. Treat them like interchangeable lego people and they'll pass you by. I met my man on CM, he treated me then and does now like a valuable addition to his life. He gets laid regularly and can do all the kinky things he wants with a willing partner- his laundry list is taken care of. He thinks he's a lucky guy but it's not luck, he puts forth the work to keep his pussy around.

It's not enough to have a liking for the same activities, it's being a person that someone will want to be with that will get you an actual person to be with.



Tantriqu -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 12:59:58 PM)

I don't think it's that men think differently than women: it's that SOME guys think differently than MOST people, and yes, they're not weally twuly subs, just entitled, do-me bottoms with some vanilla porn fantasies of how women will/must respond to them.
Lovely, lovely men don't. Did I mention I love good men?

The latest funny one is a dom I said no to, and felt he could/should take me down a notch by replying 'I tried to read your profile. But then I fell asleep within 19 seconds.'
I felt better for responding, 'That's what your wife says in bed.'



Wickad -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/8/2011 9:12:34 PM)

(fast reply)

Greetings Ladies,

Somehow I thought my late night ramblings might lead to some discussion - lol. Sorry 'bout that.

The point I was trying to make (hopefully more concisely this time) was simply not to sweat the ignoramuses. If a guy can't get passed his natural predilection to put everything in boxes and see only those things that fit into his definition of 'what he wants' ... then f*#'em! It's not about us or how we portray ourselves and it's certainly not about whether or not we're real, it's about their inability to shift paradigms. That being said, some of them do eventually get it if someone sees something redeemable in them and makes a choice to give them a metaphoric swift kick in the head (or maybe not so metaphoric - lol).

@Killerangel - I had to respond directly to this comment because it made me laugh to myself

"We're talking about grown, adult, men...not children. Have these men ever waited in a line at the grocery store? So, they've been hungry and figured out in order to eat they have to go through the routine we know as selecting and paying for groceries, as opposed to ripping open packages whenever they feel hunger. "

The reason I find this so humorous is that I live with a man and he only begins to think about what is for dinner at about 10 mins. to dinner - lol. The idea of defrosting something, planning a meal, collecting all the needed things ahead of time is absolutely foreign to him. No matter how many times we 'talk' about this ... it's always the same - lol. So, yes, I think if there were no consequences men would do just as you suggest - lol.

Wickad



slavekal -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/9/2011 7:32:48 AM)

They exist.  I have known quite a few in my life.  I am with one now.



AngelicaGoddess -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/9/2011 1:29:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: slavekal

They exist.  I have known quite a few in my life.  I am with one now.


Lucky you, I wouldn't be happy with just being "allowed" to be dominant in the bedroom. So I guess for the OP I'm not "real"



SaharahEve -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/10/2011 7:11:09 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: spankeree

My fantasy is to be with a genuine regular woman, we have a normal relationship in every way but she is dominant and assertive in the bedroom.

I'm starting to wonder if such people exist or is it a constuct of the porn industry / media in general?

It seems most women who will participate in something like that do it for other motivations other than for sexual pleasure - for money or tributes, or because they hate men, or because they are sadistic and use a man for those reasons, or are just acting in a porn film.

I know these are generalisations and i don't mean to offend anyone who doesn't fall into these categories.

I would love a girl who was kind and gentle and loving but who took the lead - told me to get on my knees, go down on her, wank off as she stood over me fully clothed, spanked me, told me to worship her feet, legs, ass etc etc. she would ride my face, sit on my face, explore my limits with anal play etc etc

I'm not into pain or serious humiliation or being shouted at or spit on or blackmailed etc etc.

I'd be interested to know if there are any other men who feel the same and what women on here think???

Looking forward to your replies....




The premise of your post title is somewhat at odds with the content of your question. Real "femdom" to me means real dominant Females. This means out of the bedroom, too, otherwise She is little more than a "sexy time" (Borat voice) mirage.



spankeree -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/25/2011 11:26:57 AM)

Thanks for the posts, I think the posts from SaharahEve and Wickad particularly address the issue i'm interested in here. Yes I recognise the goal oriented box ticking thing, maybe that's a man thing more than a woman thing, but obviously not all men and obviously not completly excluding some women. i admit my posts were pretty direct but i was interested in teasing out some ideas.

I suppose this discussion has brought out some interesting ideas and ways of thinking that are new to me. I think i've been using the wrong terminology and mixing concepts. I think i'm probably a top and a bottom switch if there is such a thing. If being dominant and or submissive is a personality trait that you live 24/7, then that's definitely not me. I'm very clear on my gender politics and believe 100% that men and women are and should be equal. Everyone is capable of everything. Humans do bad and good. That includes men and women. Individual experiences we all have might slant our perspectives and opinions. That's my opinion. In terms of sexuality, I love the excitement of being in charge and also being with someone who likes to take charge. For me it's all about games in the bedroom until both of us have come. Then the games end. Does that makes sense?



SweetDommes -> RE: are there any real femdoms? (1/25/2011 9:44:06 PM)

Yes, it does make sense. However, the fact that we aren't interested in that does not make us "fake" - it just means that we aren't compatable with you.

Most of the Dominant women who post on this board are not interested in "playtime" - we are dominant all the time. Most of us (I think, anyway) accept that our submissives are our equals, in terms of they are human, they are intelligent, etc. However, we seek out those who want us to be in charge - ultimately, the decisions are ours (see LadyPact's sig line about 'it's not a democracy'). If that's not for you, that's fine. Move on, and don't insult our way of life as being fake.



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