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RE: Hello Everyone... gay boy here. - 1/7/2011 6:48:26 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: koejo1

Thanks. RCdc and RapierFugue.. Yes Im sure not enjoying this site at all. Not many people from colorado either way.. Yes people are blinded to see what she said but I dont think people get it, Oh well. I least I didnt lose anything. Im glad you guys dont think I was so mean but, I really trying to protect myself after having the whole Site of collarme agasinst me except you 2 thanks. I apperciate that you guys arent attacking me either.. I was even kind enough to say my appologies to everyone to just get this drama out the way. I dont like conflicks at all...

@Crazyml I think you need to read the whole to get it. Just the fact she sent the to me was really towards me.. I know she tried to play sweet by saying "Good Luck" at the end but its not working at all. its more like being a smart ass. but i hope all of this is in the past now cause Im just here to enjoy people entertainment..

Thanks alll
koejo1

Well, to be 100% fair, as I always try to be (not saying I always am, but I like to make the effort), you might try thinking of internet forums and chat rooms as a sort of bar one might frequent one evening. Now you know, in a social sense, that when one walks into a strange (i.e. new to you) bar, that the likelihood is that lots of people there will know each other, and have social relationships with one another, so you don't go in all guns blazing (not saying you did this, just that you know you wouldn’t do that IRL). Well any net forum’s kind of like that; people “know” each other, some through having met IRL, some merely through having exchanged pleasantries and messages with one another, etc., and thus some folk are apt to get a little defensive in regard to others. Now of course one can react to any potential jibe by immediately taking a swing at someone, but this just tends to lead to one having a lot of bar-fights, and meeting a lot of “cops” (who I suppose equate to the moderators on CM) and being thrown out of a lot of bars, or being ignored by most folk in the ones that do still let you in (the “ignore” facility on CM).

In general, and I'm not saying this is right or fair, if one is “new” somewhere (anywhere), the onus is on the individual to make friends, not on everyone else to make your life easy. So if that means one has to absorb a little dig now and again then so be it - it’s no skin off one’s nose to do so. Sorry about all these “ones” BTW, I’m just trying to make all this 3rd person, not 1st, if that makes any sense.

Now if someone does go for the jugular then of course you've every right to defend yourself, but only you can say what has truly upset you, and what has merely irritated. I read back this particular thread and I have to agree with RCdc that it rates about a 7.5 on the Clique-ter scale, so I don't “blame” you for getting a little hot under the collar (heh), but similarly (as just an example) if one is being attacked by someone who can’t actually harm you then there’s often not a lot of reason to bother being aggressive with them. It’s like punching a midget; fun, but not satisfying*.

There’s also the point that it’s difficult, if people don’t know you, for them to be sure of the context in which you mean a comment, but I see you've already grasped that by your comments above, so fair play.

Whew. What a lot of wordy crap. I do that quite a bit, sorry. Just trying to explain a few things.

As to what things are like in your locality, while there may not be all that many profiles from Colorado, my understanding (from listening to other people on CM who are in the US) is that often it’s better to use CM to find munches and meetings and such where you can go along and meet folk, rather than trying to plough through a load of profiles on CM itself. ISTR that there’s someone who either does live in Colorado, or used to, and posts regularly, so maybe they’ll get in touch or post to point you in the right direction.

Best of luck in your search.

*do I really have to label this as a joke so people don't pitch a fit? Ok, it’s a joke, M’kay?

(in reply to koejo1)