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If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 8:41:15 AM

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Thru the recession, the current timeframe we are in... and even of good economic times of the past.... There have never been enough female sub/slaves. Have you noticed that about 1 in 3 posts are looking for a female sub or slave to join them? Is there just not enough? What are the downfalls of being a " 3rd" in a relationship? I can see a few.

I guess I would ask myself since supply and demand is SO limited, why would I even post on my profile that I am actively seeking a female submissive or slave? The odds of finding someone here are about as good as hitting the lottery.

Hey... just sayin...

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 8:47:46 AM

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Just the opposite in the gay world. Many, many more subs than DOMS

(in reply to 4everkinky)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 8:50:28 AM

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Clarifying - you are a maledom couple actively seeking a sub woman comfortable with being the third in an existing relationship. That makes your odds kinda slim.

All I can suggest is to get looking. I personally know of some women like that, but they are not currently available.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:12:33 AM

poise

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I liked your profile. It was short yet concise, not filled with
an unpleasant list of tasks/demands/must haves...etc.
However, this thread has the feel of "Woe is me, I'm never going
to find that special third..why do I even bother looking".
It sounds self defeating, which I would imagine isnt very appealing
to someone who is looking to join your household.
Best of luck in your search. Keep the faith!

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:18:57 AM

hlen5

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I think unless you have (or have had) another profile, this thread is a ploy to garner attention to the profile you just created today. I agree with poise, your profile is fine, good luck!!

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(in reply to poise)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:18:58 AM

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From: Apple County NY
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Perhaps it isn't that there aren't enough submissive females, but that there's a dearth of competent male dominants worth submitting to. We are grown women, perfectly capable of running our own lives. Unless you can show an amazing superiority in managing your life, we would be foolish to turn our lives over to you so that you could run it into the ground.

Beyond that, why would someone want to come as an afterthought to an existing relationship? We're ordinary people and we have the same needs you and your wife do, to come first in someone's heart. You can't offer that.

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(in reply to poise)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:23:14 AM

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That's because you're looking on line. Online dating is spam and losers today. It was cool a decade ago, but that's over. Craigslist is 95%+ spam; most of the "women" there are autoresponders for porno sites or gay "pic collectors".

There are plenty of potential female submissives, but most of them are out in the 'burbs buying Harlequin romances and not playing. You can recognize those when they start "I've always dreamed about..." About half of them will freak out if it gets real. That gets wearing, and you have to learn how to filter out the wannabees.

It's useful to have some female friends who know you're kinky, even if they're not. They may find you women with sub potential. Ask.

(in reply to 4everkinky)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:28:29 AM

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It doesn't have a thing to do with the economy or the recession. The truth of the matter is that an established couple looking to add a female to their home are fishing in the smallest pond and they have the most competition. Add to that the stats that I've seen that are actually quite low for even one person finding another one on the net for a monogamous relationship, it sure doesn't look encouraging.

The majority of poly folks that I know who have added someone to their household have met them through the local community. I've run across two women who wanted to join Mine, but those were women who knew Me through local channels.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 1/8/2011 9:29:20 AM >

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Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

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(in reply to poise)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:44:45 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: txurinal

Just the opposite in the gay world. Many, many more subs than DOMS

Sigh, goddammit! I've pondered if it would have been easier to be a gay Dom than a straight Domme.

(in reply to txurinal)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 9:51:54 AM

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in the community i participate in, there seem to be too many subs and not enough single Doms. almost everyone is married or VERY committed, and if you aren't interested in a poly dynamic right off the bat, then you're sorta out of luck. =p
of the few who remain, finding someone you feel compatible with is an additional hurdle.
i WISH there were more single Doms in our community. =p hahaha
but here online, the ratio is typical -- 1,000,000 men to 1 woman hahaha ^_^

then of course, yes -- you're a binary seeking a third. that whittles down your potential pool immediately. not everyone is into plural relationships, and of those who are, they are usually seeking a situation where they don't feel like a "self-cleaning sex toy" (borrowed that phrase from someone on FL -- hilarious!) -- a lot of duos looking for a third expect the third to put their needs above her own at all costs, which isn't fair to her.

i also agree with poise -- the self-defeating tone of this post isn't very attractive. it's good to be optimistic about the future :) why connect yourself to someone who seems to think it's all a sinking ship? haha

(in reply to Tantriqu)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 10:19:12 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Beyond that, why would someone want to come as an afterthought to an existing relationship? We're ordinary people and we have the same needs you and your wife do, to come first in someone's heart.

I personally think this is golden.

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RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 11:04:58 AM

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Yes we had another profile that we closed about a year ago. Prior to that we have been on Collarme since about 2007 maybe, when we lived back East. We would more like to meet other couples that have made this type of relationship work for them, but that is our personal preference. I guess we were abit discouraged when we would look at several profiles and it seems thats about 1 in 3 are looking for a sub female to join them. Yes, it seems that the high demand is female sub, slave as a 3rd. Also, the demand was probably about the same back in 2007 also, but I believe there were more couples looking to meet and socialize with other couples.

That is somewhat discouraging.

(in reply to windchymes)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 1:10:50 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: 4everkinky

Thru the recession, the current timeframe we are in... and even of good economic times of the past.... There have never been enough female sub/slaves. Have you noticed that about 1 in 3 posts are looking for a female sub or slave to join them? Is there just not enough? What are the downfalls of being a " 3rd" in a relationship? I can see a few.

I guess I would ask myself since supply and demand is SO limited, why would I even post on my profile that I am actively seeking a female submissive or slave? The odds of finding someone here are about as good as hitting the lottery.

Hey... just sayin...

All the best subs are taken...always was, is and probably..........

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to 4everkinky)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 2:14:21 PM

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From: Here To Eternity.
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It isn't called "a search for the elusive unicorn" for nothing.

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RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 2:36:33 PM

poise

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Joined: 7/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Perhaps it isn't that there aren't enough submissive females, but that there's a dearth of competent male dominants worth submitting to. We are grown women, perfectly capable of running our own lives. Unless you can show an amazing superiority in managing your life, we would be foolish to turn our lives over to you so that you could run it into the ground.

Beyond that, why would someone want to come as an afterthought to an existing relationship? We're ordinary people and we have the same needs you and your wife do, to come first in someone's heart. You can't offer that.

I think it's unfair to assume this man has an intent is to run someone's life into the ground.
There are many successful poly relationships out there, where all parties thrive on the love
that is shared between them. Why would it have to be a more than/less than scenario?
KnightofMists and his lovely alandra and kyra are a great example of this.

< Message edited by poise -- 1/8/2011 2:37:07 PM >

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(in reply to DesFIP)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 2:37:17 PM

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It's not just a spare female sub that many couples are on the lookout for...it's a spare domme...or any ol' spare tyre you'd think...like pick it up on the road side, inflate it, run it round the block a few times and then trade it in for another one when the thread wears thin.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to 4everkinky)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 2:42:32 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Perhaps it isn't that there aren't enough submissive females, but that there's a dearth of competent male dominants worth submitting to. We are grown women, perfectly capable of running our own lives. Unless you can show an amazing superiority in managing your life, we would be foolish to turn our lives over to you so that you could run it into the ground.

Beyond that, why would someone want to come as an afterthought to an existing relationship? We're ordinary people and we have the same needs you and your wife do, to come first in someone's heart. You can't offer that.

I think it's unfair to assume this man has an intent is to run someone's life into the ground.
There are many successful poly relationships out there, where all parties thrive on the love
that is shared between them. Why would it have to be a more than/less than scenario?
KnightofMists and his lovely alandra and kyra are a great example of this.

It;s like I described only just about running a third into the ground. Yes there are exceptions and I agree that KnightofMists is a shining example. But this not only takes an exceptional dominant but exceptional women also who can put aside jealousy, possessiveness, learn inependence of self and selfless love because those aspects of a power dynamic are all surely present in a poly relationship that becomes family.
A play scenario now that's quite different but play is one thing and affairs of the heart are quite another.

_____________________________

Owner of asterion

Metawhore.... the sound of a metaphore when gagged
Free woman
Resident thread finisher
To my stalker:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LN2lP_7J7GI&feature=fvwrel

(in reply to poise)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/8/2011 4:39:04 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: 4everkinky

Yes we had another profile that we closed about a year ago. Prior to that we have been on Collarme since about 2007 maybe, when we lived back East. We would more like to meet other couples that have made this type of relationship work for them, but that is our personal preference. I guess we were abit discouraged when we would look at several profiles and it seems thats about 1 in 3 are looking for a sub female to join them. Yes, it seems that the high demand is female sub, slave as a 3rd. Also, the demand was probably about the same back in 2007 also, but I believe there were more couples looking to meet and socialize with other couples.

That is somewhat discouraging.

Okay. You've gone to the trouble to put up a profile. Then what?

The natural second step would be to show initiative and contact the women that are your target audience. Have you done that, or just waited for them to come to you?

The third step is to look for the women that are doing exactly what you'd like them to be doing with you. Seek out profiles of poly families and contact the women and tell them that you're looking for someone like them. Do they know of someone? Could they give you feedback on your profile? Etc. Network. (It goes without saying that you need to be careful here not to create the impression that you're trying to poach them.)

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to 4everkinky)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/9/2011 5:48:26 AM

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
I think it's unfair to assume this man has an intent is to run someone's life into the ground.
There are many successful poly relationships out there, where all parties thrive on the love
that is shared between them. Why would it have to be a more than/less than scenario?
KnightofMists and his lovely alandra and kyra are a great example of this.

I don't think anyone intends to ruin someone else's life. But unless they are amazingly competent, that is what happens.

Someone like KOM is very rare. Just think of the plethora of threads over the years from distraught subs who discover their master is married, is cheating on them, is bringing someone else into the house who has avowed her intention of destroying the primary's relationship. A stable long term triad is very rare compared to all of them that implode.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to poise)

RE: If only the world had enough. - 1/9/2011 3:13:35 PM

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Joined: 1/8/2011
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How important is it really for you to add a third?
Honestly, think about it.
If it's really important, you have to find a way to get that third.
However, if there are other things you can indulge in, such as flogging, exhibition, etc., you could put your energies into those.
Focus more on what you can have than what you can't have.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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