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RE: Married partners - 5/3/2006 2:03:23 AM

Bluebird

Posts: 384
Joined: 2/17/2006
From: Las Vegas
Status: offline

I think the concern reigns on both sides of the fence. I am married, and my husband and I are both primarily dominant. We enjoy playing as a couple with a sub, but we also do play separately. We meet each other's "potentials" and if there is concern or discomfort from either of us, the potential is declined. This is not about swinging; neither of us has any interest in having sex with a third party, and that is a hard limit for both of us. Howver, we have been married a very long time and understand that while we can fulfill the vast majority of each other's needs, there are certain things that we would like to, in fact NEED to, explore on our own.

That being said, I do look rather askance at married potential subs. I am bluntly honest and I expect those I deal with at a personal level to also be that way. If someone is dishonest with his wife/partner (who hopefully is his "soul mate"), why would I believe that he would be honest with me?

I do wonder about the men who email me and say "Oh, good, I am married too - we can be discreet." That is exactly what I am NOT looking for. And I think my profile is clear on that point, but perhaps (?!) they don't actually read the whole thing ....

(in reply to Dustyn)

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Post #: 41

RE: Married partners - 5/3/2006 1:44:56 PM

cheekysmile

Posts: 44
Joined: 4/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShiftedJewel

quote:

How do you feel about being involved with a Dominant/submissive online when he or she is married? Does the marraige effect the relationship and how?

I have, once. And I insisted that her husband know all about me. That relationship lasted over two years, she lived in England and flew over once to spend a couple of weeks with us, the next time they both flew over and spent time with us. We're still the best of friends and I absolutely adore both of them. I think together we made her marriage stronger. Now they explore the lifestyle together.

Jewel

when i first came to the lifestyle i knew in a short time that honesty is paramount, the fact that Jewel Ma'am insisted my husband knew of our relationship and was happy about it, meant alot.

before talking to my hubby about the lifestyle i had to know fully about it myself....that then helped hubby to understand.. to a point. it wasnt until we as a couple went to Jewel Ma'ams place that both him and Her Husband Scooter sat down and talked about the roles involved, we then found out he was also a submissive, which helped our marriege...i thank both Jewel Ma'am and Scooter Sir for this.

now we both have the same Mistress, we both enjoy life in the full, even being involved with the lifestyle knowing how we both tick....Mistress has been really blessed to now have two very happy slaves serving Her with our souls and really meaning it, there has been many people who have said online relationships never last...well im sorry but i have to say both Ma'am Jewels and now my Mistress were started in online and became real time (planning to meet real time with Mistress) both Ma'am and Mistress insisted that both pete and i are to be fully involved in everything and that a meeting was not gonna happen unless specific critea was met.
again i thank Ma'am Jewel and my Mistress for giving such happiness to us..

(in reply to ShiftedJewel)

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Post #: 42

RE: Married partners - 5/6/2006 7:43:14 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

My wife hears first thing about any potential second partner I may meet, and while I can date and flirt at will, if we're going to proceed to actual physical intimacy, she expects to meet them first.

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(in reply to slaveladyj)

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Post #: 43

RE: Married partners - 5/6/2006 8:29:12 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I personally avoid married Dominants, and maintain a drama free life to the best of my ability . However....i have played with married couples twice, both BDSM and vanilla swinger types.....in each case....i was sought out by them as a couple...i think that makes all the difference.

(in reply to Manawyddan)

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Post #: 44