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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 1:09:57 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

However... a dominant's party with slave's aservin... oh yeah! lol

I'll take a wild guess here - with said slaves in proper waiters' outfits, or tuxedoes at the least? Go on, surprise me . . . .

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 1:18:30 PM

LadyNTrainer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Definitely a different strokes for different folks area. I just see it as any submissive who would be attending the dinner with Me isn't over and above other submissives. That includes the submissive of the host who has already put in a good deal of work for a formal to plan, shop, cook, and serve dinner for at least a dozen people. (As Otter's post here and on another thread on the subject suggests.) Especially if this is a more formal evening, I see it as offering an available resource. Probably would be an offer made before the event for things like prep work and laying the table. Up to the host's discretion, of course.

I tend to agree, though I don't see any dominant attending the event to be over and above my submissives either. If another dominant acts too obtrusively as if they were in some way above any of my family, I'm likely to firmly and politely offer correction. Once. The second time I'm not going to be polite. Their being *my* owned property doesn't make them submissive to anyone else, nor do I expect them to conduct themselves as if they were. I may offer their service to others if it is appropriate to do so, but they serve graciously and with dignity as the knights they are. You don't degrade or dishonor knights who are in service, nor samurai whose fealty and obedience belong absolutely to their liege. They may be owned property, but they aren't *your* property, and disrespect to them from outsiders reflects directly on their household.

I will generally offer to share my family's resources graciously to help make the event a good one, and that might include my own skills as well as their service. What I won't do is allow others to disrespect members of my family, regardless of their sexual or D/s orientation. The line can be a fine one as to what constitutes disrespect; I don't necessarily see eating on the floor or separately from the dominants at a formal dinner to constitute disrespect. It can, but it doesn't have to.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 1:21:19 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
I'll take a wild guess here - with said slaves in proper waiters' outfits, or tuxedoes at the least? Go on, surprise me . . . .

Some of the ones that we've done have had different variations of attire of 'white on top, black for the bottom'. Usually, it's without the jacket. It's been everything from button down white shirts with black pants/skirt, to some that have been, shall we say, a bit more revealing. Due to the issue of concerns of stay hairs finding their way into food, there has always been a requirement of bottom attire during the serving of dinner. Over the years, folks have come up with some very interesting outfits if there wasn't a standard that was specifically set up. I tend to like the ones that will do the stand alone cuffs with cufflinks, starched collar and bow tie, and really cute fitting black shorts. Something you might look fabulous in.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 1:48:44 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Something you might look fabulous in.

Why, thank you, LP! Would that be with or without a 'tail'?

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 1:56:07 PM

LadyPact

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The tail's for later, after you've been good and done an excellent job serving dinner.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 2:08:20 PM

OttersSwim

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For anyone interested, I am compiling an English-style Silver Service manual. Happy to share it once I get it completed from my various sources.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 2:38:47 PM

LillyBoPeep

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what an interesting thread to read :D i'm really interested in planning something like this for the near future, so it's interesting to see the viewpoints.
here's a great service manual that you can read pretty big chunks of. i've really enjoyed reading it the past few days.
via google books -- http://books.google.com/books?id=n8NRhPOMjWEC&pg=PA230&lpg=PA230&dq=formal+table+service&source=bl&ots=kHzSYQgVJD&sig=mbLTLvWH2-ZUU33eLQ7TjYlppI4&hl=en&ei=3LTsScK_EJLIM5OB3dcF&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1#v=onepage&q=formal%20table%20service&f=false

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 5:20:55 PM

BiDomLooking

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This is a really good topic I have to agree that a "Dom" Dinner would not be a place for the subs the kitchen would be a more setting place in a formal dinner but at a more playful dinner party seated on the floor next to their Dom would be appropriate.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 9:07:09 PM

trueshadow

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Of course, if the slaves were shaved clean, stray hairs wouldn't be a problem...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Some of the ones that we've done have had different variations of attire of 'white on top, black for the bottom'. Usually, it's without the jacket. It's been everything from button down white shirts with black pants/skirt, to some that have been, shall we say, a bit more revealing. Due to the issue of concerns of stay hairs finding their way into food, there has always been a requirement of bottom attire during the serving of dinner. Over the years, folks have come up with some very interesting outfits if there wasn't a standard that was specifically set up. I tend to like the ones that will do the stand alone cuffs with cufflinks, starched collar and bow tie, and really cute fitting black shorts. Something you might look fabulous in.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 9:21:10 PM

BKSir

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This is easy. M, my partner, would sit to my right, and my pet to my left. He would, of course have his own plate and seat, and would be the picture and epitome of manners and grace. Nothing more and nothing less than normal expectations and protocol in my dynamic.

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RE: My Submissive's Place is... - 1/20/2011 10:16:00 PM

SthrnCom4t

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Finally I have time to post :)

Originally, I was unsure that I wanted to accept the invite. I have observed some HP, but never really participated. I'm not one for 'rules', unless they're mine...lol. I'm a live and let live person generally, so I don't spend much time with the 'one twue way' types.

As Otter mentioned, I did end up being the only female dominant in the group. I was curious about how that dynamic was going to work, because I had seen the majority of the seating requests, with submissives on the floor or in the kitchen. But, I figured what the hell, when I'm in my 'Dominant' head space, I do things the way *I* WANT!

So, I sat Otter at the table next to Me on My right :)

The majority of us met a few nights before, where some of the more experienced in HP, shared info with those of us less familiar. I was testing the atmosphere. As I said, I don't do *holier than thou*. While there were a few Gorean folks, it was a great bunch. They were very open and enjoyed explaining their dynamics, however, and the whole atmosphere was about sharing and enjoying other peoples' dynamic, not pushing one's own on others. In fact, the purpose of the dinner, was to enjoy good company, and include some power exchange ritual, so we could all sink into that lifestyle energy that every day life tends to get in the way of.

We had a great time. :)

There wasn't an over-abundance of male testosterone at all. They enjoyed the playful dynamic I tend to have with Otter, and I'm sure, were very glad my new Xmas present wasn't anywhere near THEIR bits....lol. As Sadists are want to do, they had great fun watching Me 'accidentally' hit the higher intensity number, even as Otter worked quite hard to keep quiet and graceful in his submissive 'place'. (no I wasn't setting him up to fail.....I was mentally stroking his 'submissive exhibitionist' side.)

For me, HP is a short leash. It goes both ways. It requires an awareness by all parties to the power dynamic. Most of the time I'd rather have a bit less obvious power dynamic, which allows us both to be loving and playful. There is never any question about who is who.

Just like I don't feel the missionary position takes anything away from my authority, neither did I have a problem with instructing Otter to feed Me when I signaled.

His presence at the table did not make him 'above' the others. Each submissive was there to wait on his/her own Dominant, as instructed, within the 'house rules'.

As far as other Dominants being disrespectful of submissives not their own.....even though we didn't know each other well, the level of integrity within this particular group wouldn't have tolerated it for a minute. We were all there to have fun, and appreciate each others' difference's as well as common interests.:)

Being novices to HP, we learned a lot, and I'll start another thread with some fun observations.

My thanks to all who are participating in this thread....I love hearing others' perspectives and opinions.

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