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RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:19:45 PM

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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

The reason is because it can play out in multiple ways that don't end the relationship.

The final chapter would be a question of who still holds the last strands of devoted investment in the relationship versus who has let theirs go. At that point, we can determine where this elusive "veto power" actually resides. But this can happen to either party.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:20:13 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
But only ephemerally. Because, if not, then someone can inwardly control themselves into acting as if they do not have said control...no?

Choosing to hand over control of one's life is a choice, every time a submissive says yes or consents to something s/he is completely responsible for the consequences.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:21:17 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

The reason is because it can play out in multiple ways that don't end the relationship.

The final chapter would be a question of who still holds the last strands of devoted investment in the relationship versus who has let theirs go. At that point, we can determine where this elusive "veto power" actually resides. But this can happen to either party.

Exactly.

Besides, subs aren't the only ones to veto stuff and go off.

Sub: I'd like to try gang bangs, it sounds hot.
Dom: Fuck, you're crazy, I'm out of here.

(in reply to NihilusZero)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:24:23 PM

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Joined: 1/27/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
Besides, subs aren't the only ones to veto stuff and go off.

Sub: I'd like to try gang bangs, it sounds hot.
Dom: Fuck, you're crazy, I'm out of here.

Still not the scenario I'm talking about. I've already spun it out multiple times.

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:25:36 PM

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Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Exactly.

By the way, you don't look the same without one of the usual pretty avatars. But the tagline helps soften the blow.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:27:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Exactly.

By the way, you don't look the same without one of the usual pretty avatars. But the tagline helps soften the blow.

Awww <3<3<3

Yeah I took down my pics for privacy etc. XD

(in reply to NihilusZero)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:28:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
But it COULD happen! It could, it could, it could!
And you also instantaneously morph into a zebra! It COULD happen!

Really? It could?

Yes it could.
At least according to quantum mechanics and our currently theory of the universe.
Quantum models predict that anything can happen at any time.
In essence, it's not a matter of whether or not it can happen, but whether or not probability predicts it will happen.

(in reply to Chulain)

RE: no limits period - 1/31/2011 5:29:12 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
Yeah I took down my pics for privacy etc. XD

Nothing to do with me, before anyone points a finger.

(in reply to Elisabella)

RE: no limits period - 2/1/2011 2:05:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

Perhaps I should use the phrase "final decision-making power."

Well, the submissive is still reacting to the decision of the dominant but the gist I get from your argument is not that the semantics are important but that submissive should know they have the legal right to end their relationship. I'm pretty sure most of us are aware of that already.

cha ching! exactement!

its what pushes a submissive to leave that determines everything.

Dom: Do the washing up already!
sub: no, im painting my nails.
Dom: Right, six of the best then
sub: no, im leaving, youre being unreasonable

or...,

Dom: Walk into that club full of people and fuck as many men as you can without a condom.
sub: but i might end up with STD's
Dom: i dont care its what i want.

the first example is of a sub who has no interest in the dynamic except when she's in the mood or its convenient to do so and in point of fact is NOT in submission anyway.

the second example is of a Dominant abusing his position of power and asking for an unreasonable task to be fulfilled. he has no particular interest or care in the health or well being of his sub and she would do well to recognise that and find someone who does.

painting all subs and all relationships and all dynamics with a universal colour and saying 'this is it, this is how it is' is an oversimplification of a variety so broad in their spectrum of colours that it actually beggars belief.

if someone can honestly say that they have had 100 subs and out of those 100, 99% got up and left of their own volition id have to think the Dominant in question was a major asshat.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to BitaTruble)

RE: no limits period - 2/1/2011 5:06:42 AM

RCdc

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain
The s- is always free to surprise the D by saying yes. So unless the D is psychic, your scenario is not 100% guaranteed. So once again, final say-so is in the hands of the s-.

Well, s-types aren't psychic either. You are talking in circles.

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RC&dc

love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

(in reply to Chulain)

RE: no limits period - 2/1/2011 5:08:37 AM

Posts: 3939
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Chulain

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
Yeah I took down my pics for privacy etc. XD

Nothing to do with me, before anyone points a finger.

Haha I don't even know who you are.

(in reply to Chulain)

RE: no limits period - 2/1/2011 1:34:39 PM

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Joined: 1/9/2009
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~FR~ no limits? Ha. i cant even begin to count the times i've been told: "no limits- everything goes". i purposely ask,"so...if i wanted to hang you upside-down, cut your stomach and watch your inards fall out...you'd be fine with it? ya know...since there are no limits." communication stops there and i couldn't be happier.

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(in reply to sinandhoney)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 12:51:18 AM

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Joined: 4/16/2009
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.... yes but in reality - percentage wise, how many submissives would actually mean that when they say 'no limits' - arent they making the leap that you are, generally, a reasonable human being with a reasonable level of respect for other human beings and that you dont particularly want to spend the rest of youre life in prison.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to MissAsylum)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 4:48:02 AM

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Joined: 1/22/2011
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I don't see 'no-limits' as meaning 'anything goes'.

I see it as meaning that I can trust my dom to impose (and if he wishes change or push) the limits. That I don't have to have limits within our relationship.

I can do this because he is sane, he is 'experienced' (whatever that means), and he loves me deeply. And because he has never given me reason to re-think our dynamic.

If he got a bang on the head or something and started thinking it would be a good idea to treat me in a way which would damage me, then of course I would be out the door before before you could blink, no matter how I feel for him.

:-)

(in reply to lally2)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 8:06:20 AM

TotalDiscipline

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Joined: 5/5/2010
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quote:

he is 'experienced' (whatever that means),

mostly that he is old

(in reply to SourandSweet)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 9:48:40 AM

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Joined: 1/22/2011
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Hahaha!

Or am I supposed to be horrified that you've 'insulted' my dom and swear undying vengence and a pox upon your house etc? ;-)

Off topic but for the record: one thing we do have in common is amusement regarding the way the word 'experience' is used in d/s terms. Hence my use of quotation marks.

:-)

(in reply to TotalDiscipline)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 1:15:38 PM

TotalDiscipline

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Joined: 5/5/2010
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fun is not a limit for me..lol

you may laugh :P

(in reply to SourandSweet)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 1:33:46 PM

tiggerspoohbear

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Joined: 6/27/2010
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Anyone else happen to notice that since the OP posted on the 20th of last month he hasn't been back once? 2 weeks as a no show. I read the first 4 pages then skimmed thru the other 12 1/2 skimming the nics. Can we say run and duck???

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"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

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(in reply to TotalDiscipline)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 1:41:29 PM

WolfyMontgomery

Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline

Using fast reply to follow the current train of conversation. =)

I think there's a difference in saying that you have 'no limits' within the relationship you're in, and going up to strangers and going, "Abuse me, I have NO LIMITS!!1!one!"

I have no limits with Master because I know that he shares the same major dislikes as me, thus I can trust that he won't push things that otherwise *would* be limits. But in order to get to that stage of "no limits" trust needed to be established, I needed to know the kind of person he is to know that he wouldn't do those things to me. You can't achieve that with complete strangers.

Those that walk into a room going "Take me I'm a No Limits sub!" never know the kind of people they're propositioning, there is no trust established, for all they know, the person they're playing with COULD in fact be a psycho with a decapitation fetish! Whether or not they actually are and the likelihood of that actually being the case, without getting to know the person you don't know who they are, and there is no way you could establish that sort of trust with a complete stranger.

Sometimes those people claiming to have no limits don't know that needles, knives, bloodletting, etc are real kinks. I know that I've met a few online who were shocked to realize that cutting was an actual fetish and that they did indeed have a limit. Some of them don't realize that simple golden showers and scat are existent. So yeah, even simple stuff like that can be overlooked. They could be making a leap that you're a normal human being, sure, but that's a huge leap of faith to assume all of those things that they're not into what you're not into too when you've only been talking for ten minutes.

_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to TotalDiscipline)

RE: no limits period - 2/2/2011 2:14:35 PM

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Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: tiggerspoohbear

Anyone else happen to notice that since the OP posted on the 20th of last month he hasn't been back once? 2 weeks as a no show. I read the first 4 pages then skimmed thru the other 12 1/2 skimming the nics. Can we say run and duck???

Sure you can say that.. For me I'd say Fuck-a-Duck and be done with it........

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to tiggerspoohbear)

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