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D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 1:56:05 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

just curious as to your thoughts, o great distinguished panel of discussors!



"She's crawling deeper in my skin.... this deadbeat finally feels alive & drowning in... Her intent...." ~the diminished
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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 1:59:02 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Love can form between people in any situation- even in arranged marriages between complete strangers.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_282567/mpage_1/key_love/tm.htm#282615
13 topics on love and Ds

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 1:59:50 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		a simple reductio absurdium should suffice.

you are a straight male.  you search for a female, I am not in doubt.

So with the hard parameter of you looking for a woman, do you think that it is possible for love to flourish.

Easily answered yes, regardless of any parameters that could be thunk...(LOL)

Ron 

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:03:10 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I would not have a D/s relationship without some form of love involved. I love even my friends though, I am a loving person.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:06:06 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		ok ok....but specifically with the D/s perameters....is it love that develops or is just a certain attachment born of compatability & sexual chemistry?

perhaps thats what love is anyway.........

or am i going about this all wrong?


"She's crawling deeper in my skin.... this deadbeat finally feels alive & drowning in... Her intent...." ~the diminished

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:12:18 PM   
GeekFreak


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quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

ok ok....but specifically with the D/s perameters....is it love that develops or is just a certain attachment born of compatability & sexual chemistry?

perhaps thats what love is anyway.........

or am i going about this all wrong?


I think it's often with relationships, in general, that sexual chemistry and love are  confused for one another. However, I think in any relationship both should be mutuall existent

< Message edited by GeekFreak -- 5/2/2006 2:15:41 PM >

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:23:38 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship? or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

just curious as to your thoughts, o great distinguished panel of discussors!



"She's crawling deeper in my skin.... this deadbeat finally feels alive & drowning in... Her intent...." ~the diminished



Fox fell in love with me during training, probably just a few months into it. It took me a bit longer to fall in love with him. He told me first, I was surprised because he was supposed to be my fun project for that school year, someone to train and then send off into the local community a better person who could become a strong local leader.

He did but he also earned my collar and the right to move in with us.

The love, well, I'm not sure how it happened, but it is very real and very intense and very passionate. But we are still very much owner and slave.

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Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:27:45 PM   
slavejali


Posts: 2918
Status: offline 		I think love can emerge wthin a relationship that has pre-defined parameters, perhaps even a more profound love than the relationships that just starts out from a high energy level of lust and attraction. I think a relationship with defined parameters gives the relationship a solid foundation and isnt subject to *the honey moon* period which so often happens with undisciplined beginnings.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:33:34 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
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From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

just curious as to your thoughts, o great distinguished panel of discussors!





"She's crawling deeper in my skin.... this deadbeat finally feels alive & drowning in... Her intent...." ~the diminished




Definately, without at doubt.  The reality is... no matter what predefinitions occur, W/we are just people. W/we fall in love.  It's just that the way we show O/our love is to use, abuse and bruise eachother .  ~laughs~

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:36:24 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Aside from Stockholm syndrome and capture bonding, which I am sure a sub/slave would or could experience, I personally wouldn’t involve myself in a D/s M/s long term relationship that did not have love as a possibility.

Smiling

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Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:41:45 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		use...bruise...& abuse....
well said....i like that.........

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:43:50 PM   
SirCumsSlut


Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

just curious as to your thoughts, o great distinguished panel of discussors!







"She's crawling deeper in my skin.... this deadbeat finally feels alive & drowning in... Her intent...." ~the diminished




 
Yes real love can develop in an M/s relationship 

< Message edited by SirCumsSlut -- 5/2/2006 2:45:26 PM >

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His slut


"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:48:09 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		ahhh....but if im reading you correctly....there was love there to begin with....& then he introduced you to your subbie side...is that correct?
thanx for sharing tho.....im glad you have found your soulmate.....its a sweet, inspiring story...

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~Love is Pain~


www.myspace.com/iamthediminished

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:49:26 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83


Is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

To begin with ..... What is *real love*?

 Each person has their own idea of what *love* is, what it means to them and how they define it.

agirl

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 2:53:12 PM   
composer83


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline 		it was intentionally left open ended for your own interpretation.......

in my mind if it is real...it is genuine...it is without question & it is all-consuming...

& hopefully passionate & growing........

but i may be setting the bar too high.......any thoughts?  anyone?

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~Love is Pain~


www.myspace.com/iamthediminished

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 3:16:07 PM   
genvieve


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/14/2005
From: SF Bay Area
Status: offline 		No, no.  i definately think that the more open for interpretation the question is...the more fun the answers can be.

_____________________________

In the quietness of myself, i find myself at the mercy of Your hand.

Musical Wishes Design

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 3:42:36 PM   
Padriag


Posts: 2633
Joined: 3/30/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: composer83

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

The short answer, Yes.

There's an old saying that Love knows no bounds.  I don't think its a stretch to say its no respector of bonds either.  Love can certainly blossom in a relationship that began with just an arrangement.  History is full of such examples (not specifically D/s, but certainly with arranged marriages, even cases of captive and captor).

Sadly the reverse is also possible, sometimes the love dies and only the arrangement remains.

In short, with love you are dealing with human emotions, and human emotions often pay little head to rules and boundaries.

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Padriag

A stern discipline pervades all nature, which is a little cruel so that it may be very kind - Edmund Spencer

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 3:46:46 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Love is possible but undisciplined love can be counterproductive, especially in the dominant.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 4:01:03 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline 		I'll take the perspective of answering the question from the flip side. Can you have a D/s experience without love or some kind of emotional connection. To me, that answer is no. I require emotional connection, even if that emotion is limited to friendship or just caring for the other person. I know all the attraction of "casual play" but I came to realize a long time ago, that I didn't "play" and had a hard time being "casual". Not every relationship was love based or evolved into the big "LOVE" but every experience went beyond; "Hello, what's your safe word - bend over the spanking bench!"

I'll give the perspective that developing love isn't just possible, but required. But that's just me. I get emotionally involved.

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RE: D/s Love? - 5/2/2006 5:32:17 PM   
SDFemDom4cuck


Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline
quote:

hi, all....long time reader....first time poster.......here is my question:

is it possible for real love to develop in a relationship that has been pre-defined in the perameters of a D/s relationship?  or, for that matter, in any type of relationship that begins with a certain set or rules or protocol?

just curious as to your thoughts, o great distinguished panel of discussors!


Speaking from a Cuckoldress perspective I couldn't ever be in a lt relationship/marriage without being in love and loving My cuckold. That said...Does that mean I won't find physical pleasure with others??? Of course, I will, why shouldn't I?
 
There is a wide gulf of difference between physical fidelity (or infidelity as it were) and EMOTIONAL infedelity. Far too often the emotion of Love is equalized and mistaken for the feelings of passion/lust/pleasure/sex; when in fact they are each wholly separate things.
 
They can be present singly or together and of course they can and do when in a loving relationship whether vanilla or D/s. They can also have nothing to do with the other. Still in the end one is not necessarily the precept or replacement for the other.
 
So regardless of the parameters of My particular cuckold relationship where there isn't the act of sexual intercourse (in particular p/v) between Cuckoldress and cuckold...it doesn't mean I will not love him deeply and completely. Perhaps even more so for his understanding that My need for physical pleasure does not outweigh or negate My love for him. Ummm I hope that made sense....


_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

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