RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 2/27/2011 12:25:24 AM

CherryNeko

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Oh wow, this one left me so absolutely confused.

*Processing...*

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 3/1/2011 7:20:56 PM

LadyRian

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Joined: 9/5/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CherryNeko

Oh wow, this one left me so absolutely confused.

*Processing...*

Don't worry too much about it, hun, seriously. Consider the source.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 4/4/2011 2:53:09 PM

sheisreeds

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Joined: 7/8/2008
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Some service tops, are into serving pain, just like it was any other form of service. Some are even owned submissives. Plenty of dominants like pain, and enjoy instructing their submissives on how to hurt them, or for those where that is too much of a role reversal have other means of meeting their pain needs.

Dominant and masochist are mutually exclusive terms.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 4/4/2011 6:20:53 PM

Muttling

Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sheisreeds

Some service tops, are into serving pain, just like it was any other form of service. Some are even owned submissives. Plenty of dominants like pain, and enjoy instructing their submissives on how to hurt them, or for those where that is too much of a role reversal have other means of meeting their pain needs.

Dominant and masochist are mutually exclusive terms.

I think you meant to say "aren't mutually exclusive" and I quite agree with you. I've known a number of Tops and even a couple of Sadists who were also masochists. Getting a true pleasure from pain is a separate question from Dominant/submissive.

One of the most hard core masochists I have ever known was definitely NOT submissive. She thoroughly enjoyed being given a major ass beating, but she was absolutely turned off by any effort to Dominate her.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/4/2011 12:46:17 AM

whipher1

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I think Pam you met him :o0

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/4/2011 5:30:27 AM

HeatherMcLeather

Posts: 2559
Joined: 5/21/2011
From: The dog house
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quote:

The submissives I play with enjoy pleasing me... yet hate enduring pain.
Because they enjoy pleasing me, they will sometimes endure pain.
That doesn't mean they enjoy enduring pain... it means they enjoy the results of enduring pain -> pleasing me.

This!! I am that submissive.

quote:

"I don't like being whipped, for any reason, even though I willingly submit to it" is just plain ridiculous on its face.

Well, paint me ridiculous then. I do not like pain, it hurts. I get no pleasure from it. I don't mind a light spanking, but I hate being whipped or flogged. Yet I do submit to it, willingly and enthusiastically because Hanners enjoys hurting me, and I enjoy pleasing her. I get my kink on by obeying her and making her happy, that means if she wants to whip me, then I get whipped. It's that simple.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/4/2011 6:29:56 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Muttling

I think you meant to say "aren't mutually exclusive" and I quite agree with you. I've known a number of Tops and even a couple of Sadists who were also masochists. Getting a true pleasure from pain is a separate question from Dominant/submissive.

One of the most hard core masochists I have ever known was definitely NOT submissive. She thoroughly enjoyed being given a major ass beating, but she was absolutely turned off by any effort to Dominate her.

I could not agree with this statement more. The majority of us are not either/or when it comes to gender, role, orientation, gender preference, etc.

Many dominants like to be topped on occasion; they find pain a much needed cathartic release. Many subs are not what you would classically consider a masochist, like Heather, they get off on the control aspects and the end result of pleasing their dominant.

This whole issue, as in most relationship issues, is all about "know yourself."

You can confuse the fuck out of people if you are posing as a dominant, for instance, when you are a physically sadistic top who is emotionally masochistic. Another example is the highly masochistic (and often very fetishy) male who poses as a submissive, when there is not a submissive bone in his body. This type pretends to be sub to get their kink on, but it is so not the same thing..

The more you know yourself, the easier it is to find compatible people.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/4/2011 8:02:20 AM

HannahLynHeather

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Joined: 4/4/2011
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quote:

You can confuse the fuck out of people if you are posing as a dominant, for instance, when you are a physically sadistic top who is emotionally masochistic. Another example is the highly masochistic (and often very fetishy) male who poses as a submissive, when there is not a submissive bone in his body. This type pretends to be sub to get their kink on, but it is so not the same thing..

way fucking true chatte. on this site, the main problem is the lack of options in the orientation. dominant, switch, submissive, slave. you got 4 fucking boxes, you have to pick one and cram yourself into it and then fucking explain why you don't really fit in it.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/5/2011 2:36:19 PM

XenoMaster

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Joined: 1/24/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

on this site, the main problem is the lack of options in the orientation. dominant, switch, submissive, slave. you got 4 fucking boxes, you have to pick one and cram yourself into it and then fucking explain why you don't really fit in it.

Truer words never spoken.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/5/2011 2:41:44 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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quote:

ORIGINAL: HannahLynHeather

way fucking true chatte. on this site, the main problem is the lack of options in the orientation. dominant, switch, submissive, slave. you got 4 fucking boxes, you have to pick one and cram yourself into it and then fucking explain why you don't really fit in it.

No matter who or what you are, you don't *need* anyone to validate that. You can just be you and say the hell with those who can't or don't want to understand. That's what I do, and it works for me.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/7/2011 6:31:09 PM

HannahLynHeather

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i'm both. i'm a switch, so am dominant and submissive. and i'm also a sadist and a masochist. right now i'm the dominant in the relationship, and so when i want some fucking hurting time, i get heather to do it.

yup, she'll tie me up and abuse the fuck out of me when i tell her to. it works just fine. sometimes i'll tell her pretty clearly what i want her to do, but most of the time i just give vague directions, and others i just tell her to hurt me and leave it to her how the fuck to go about it.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/21/2011 11:45:36 PM

BratAli19

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Joined: 1/15/2008
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yes, definitly a sadistic submissive here. i enjoy nothing better than sitting on a dominants chest and plucking infected ingrown beard hairs out with very pointy tweezers while he curses. and then running like hell to safety.

but then, im a freak.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 7/22/2011 10:35:25 AM

orchid77

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I have never separated myself one way or the other, but if I did I would say I was a Dominant/sadist and masochistic submissive, but that might be the norm. LOL Good question.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 8/21/2011 7:50:03 AM

ejmichaels

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My Dom has a definite masochistic side, but is never submissive. I'm generally submissive, with a sadist side that sometimes makes an appearance. My Dom enjoys seeing me get aroused by inflicting pain and likes getting it from me sometimes. So, that works out nicely for us. I have my dominant moments, too, but I generally don't feel like doing that, and since it wouldn't be with my regular partner, there usually aren't as many opportunities.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 10/12/2011 2:55:59 PM

curvyladyj

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I'm naturally dominant and it shows in my relationship. I'm mildly masochistic. In a good scene I will orgasm from being hit. My current play partner is a submissive male. In scene he is more of a service Top. He is also a good service bottom.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 10/12/2011 4:29:15 PM

EmeraldsPheonix

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i am a sadomasochistic Switch plain flat and simple I like taking pain to an extent as my husband's sub but i enjoy much more dishing it out as hard and rough as i can thats why i cant wait till we get a sub that i can tourture because my husband lets me get sadistic with him but i just cant inflict enough pain on him to make it enjoyable for me.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 10/20/2011 5:45:42 PM

strongbottom88

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Joined: 9/10/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: EmeraldsPheonix

i am a sadomasochistic Switch plain flat and simple I like taking pain to an extent as my husband's sub but i enjoy much more dishing it out as hard and rough as i can thats why i cant wait till we get a sub that i can tourture because my husband lets me get sadistic with him but i just cant inflict enough pain on him to make it enjoyable for me.

I think when I was in my 20's I could identify as not so much a masochistic dominant as a masochistic vanilla, swith, or something dominant withoug being bdsm dominant. In terms of not being able to inflict enough pain on someone to make it enjoyable for you, I think that "where there is a will there is a way' when it comes to that especially if he will let you tie him up.

I don't think it was until my late tewnties that I could clearly identify as having a genuine large submissive streak as opposed to being just a masochist and a bottom. I had a sadistic play partner who I outhweighed by 100 pounds and she could push me so close to the edge without going over that in time I could not help but form a deep desire to please her and seek guidance from her - not as some type of payment for giving me an intense masochistic fix, but because I could not help but form a really close bond with her and trust her like I had never trusted anyone else before.

I have no doubt she could cause serious, serious pain to any man if the man was tied up and I think most smaller women would be surprised how easy it is if they have not experienced doing it.

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RE: Masochistic dominant or sadistic submissive - 10/22/2011 4:51:26 PM

MistressLilliana

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I am a Sadist BUT I do like pain. I love the pain of tattoos, play (and permanent) piercings, biting, nibbles, scratches and so on. I am not a sub because I don't like to give up complete control. Sure, I'll submit to the person driving needles into my skin but I'm not about to let them strap me down or make me do house work or anything. I may be submitting to a certain degree but only because I'm in control of what is happening to me.

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