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ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

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ORIGINAL: osf

It's not always that she refuses but rather her being what she is and I have no problem with that, it's what I prefer

I find this problematic, because, according to your sig, which reads

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

this leads to you taking a woman who is not able to take responsibility because of who she is, and you will turn
that woman into a woman she never wanted to become.

If she doesn't refuse to take responsibility, and she does not take responsibility, am I wrong to conclude she is not able to take it?

Should such a woman be made into something she never wanted to become?

quote:

ORIGINAL: happylittlepet

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

testing is an on going process and not always a conscious thing on her part

it must be comforting in a way for her to know the boundaries are still there

I tell people that they can never forget they are handling a horse because the horse never forgets it's a horse

With the variables we are considering, your last sentence then reads:

The Master can never forget he is handling a slave because the slave never forgets it's a slave.


I don't see how that leads to the idea that a slave will continue testing consciously or unconsciously.


If the slave never forgets she is a slave, doesn't the Master ever forget he is a Master either?

And does it hold true that: the slave can never forget she is 'in the presence of' a Master because the Master never forgets he is a Master?

Why would she test that? To confirm that she is a slave?

I am not convinced that someone who knows who he/she is (slave) and who is in the presence of someone with authority, needs to keep testing to make sure he/she is just him/herself or needs to keep testing that authority.

If that happens I start to wonder if the person is who he/she says he/she is.



I am happily playing with Spinoza's ideas in BDSM context:  is someone Master/Dominant/sub/slave because that is who he/she is and therefore that is good to him/her, or does this person consider one of these to be good and therefore wants to be like that.

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ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

Personally I don't think it takes a long time to see someones true colors. An act is an act and its exhausting. If he was to spend all of his time trying to be something he is clearly not then he would probably be the one to walk. I sometimes hear dominants say, 'my sub exhausts me and she doesn't understand that sometimes I just need a break' a break from what? I ask myself. Its these very men/women that walk from what could be very healthy relationships and they walk because they don't have the stamina to keep up the act. They even become bitter and resentful and they quickly blame it all on her. This is really not all about being who your sub expects you to be, its about being yourself and if you have all of those attributes that we spoke about earlier in the thread then we have one very happy sub and one very relaxed and contented dominant.