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Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 12:46:57 AM

Aneirin

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Depression medications, namely Citalopram or Celaxa in the US, I have been on them for about three years now for variable mood and depression, which I understand depression as mental confusion and the meds as a stabiliser and edge padding. Now, I believe I have cleared the mental fog and want to get back into the land of the living, but I am of the belief that the meds are now acting against me, what I want to do, I just seem to can not be bothered and have adopted a 'do it tomorrow, no rush' kind of mentality, which is not helping. So, I have come to view the meds now as an evil I must continue with until I get them out of my life, which is no easy task I can tell you even with medic supervised tapering down.

Now with the tapering down, or the occasional miss I have discovered something, something I like, but am wary of, and when I described it to a friend, the friend called it, 'coming alive', as what I found, was the sex drive being enhanced, got the horn something rotten and it is not just about relief, the feeling is returning, but it is controllable and with my arts the creativity similarly is returning and that, with a gusto and the desire to get out into the world and breathe deep lung fulls of air being the feeling. The other thing I have always suffered from whilst on the meds, was under confidence and disbelief in my abilities, off them, that is all reversed

But a part of me is suggesting what I am feeling is yet another chemical imbalance caused by withdrawal and the feeling isn't real, but at the same time I am aware the meds act as an anchor against change, but I so desire to change, as the meds I feel are holding me back.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar from tapering down or coming off depression medication ?

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 2:13:13 AM

angelikaJ

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Have you discussed any of this (wanting to go off them and self tapering) with the doctor who oversees them?
It sounds like you are doing this on your own, which is not recommened.

But since I think you are likely going to do it anyway:
A suggestion I have is instead of discontinuing them all together, why not simply try them for awhile at a lower dose?

It is possible you don't need them anymore, but at the moment you feel well on the lower dose.

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 2:45:06 AM

Aneirin

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Aye, it is true I don't need them any more, and I do see them as a hindrance to my life now, and so, am sort of tapering down with how it feels to me. Now my doc wants in on this, which I do understand is necessary, but, the bugger is always on holiday, so getting to see him, is to be perfectly honest, a pain in the ass.

The reason I say I don't need them, is because I have worked out all of my problems, the down time the meds enabled did that, so they had a use I will not deny that, but now they have to go as I have my life to start anew.

The confusion I experienced that caused the self destruction I now know has a name, and that name cannot be treated with medication, for it is just a difference in the way of thinking, different to most, but perfectly acceptable once I make others aware of the boundaries. I now aware, can deal with myself and any who wish to work with me, they also will learn my boundaries, as I will not bend to another's rule through blind ignorance on both sides.

I need to get back into the world of work, not because of the money, but because I actually want to, and with that, realise my own ambitions working for myself as an independent artist craftsman, as others already know, and want my skills.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 3:33:48 AM

Termyn8or

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What has changed ? What brought this about ?

T^T

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 10:00:58 AM

Aneirin

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Simply, a change of enviroment. I finally found the funding and the expertise to remodel my living space, a change from multi colour, damp, moldy, dingy to a clean, light airy, minimalist and neutral living space. With the change, my mood changed, and I started to see positives instead of negatives. That was the biggest boost, but over the last few months, I have noticed a change, my creativity was returning and my interest in the opposite sex and with that sex, which is a boost, for it has been a long, long time since that, since the break up of my marriage five years past.

Now, the cold, wet and gray of winter is normally the worst time of the year for me, but lately, I have noticed a more positive attitude, an increase in energy and better sleeping patterns with less reliance on alcohol to get to sleep. One thing which I think might have aided the mood shift, was the fitment of full spectrum light bulbs, daylight bulbs in lieu of just light bulbs. The other thing that I believe has helped, is my family, they at last understanding how to motivate me.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 11:59:32 AM

kalikshama

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Ah, mold. I worked in a building with toxic mold for two years and had all kinds of symptoms that were misdiagnosed til we finally made the mold connection. They all went away when I stopped working there.

So if in fact YOUR symptoms and prescriptions were actually due to mold then of course you should stop taking unnecessary medication. It's best to taper off under medical supervision but gradually decreasing a dose is really not that complicated.

Decreased sex drive is a listed side effect of Celexa: http://www.rxlist.com/celexa-drug-patient.htm#sideeffects

So less Celexa can = more sex drive.

I had more vivid dreams when I stopped taking Welbutrin (by tapering down, on my own).

< Message edited by kalikshama -- 2/2/2011 12:01:52 PM >

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 12:11:44 PM

Aneirin

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The only downside of coming off the meds, is the sex drive, for I remember what it was like before the meds, it seemed like permanent horn.

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Everything we are is the result of what we have thought, the mind is everything, what we think, we become - Guatama Buddha

Conservatism is distrust of people tempered by fear - William Gladstone

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RE: Coming alive ? - 2/2/2011 2:31:51 PM

DesFIP

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If it's seasonal depression, then you need to start taking 5000 IUs of Vitamin D III daily.

What you complain about as a result of the medication is something that I found was alleviated when I was put on a higher dose. When I got to an optimal level I had a huge rush of energy. It was while undermedicated that I was in the blahs.

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