RE: Approaching vs Being Approached

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RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/22/2011 12:42:30 PM

Palliata

Posts: 371
Joined: 8/9/2010
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I am on several other sites with the same name, but to be honest my presence both here and elsewhere is mostly for the sake of discussing on forums rather than actually trying to meet people. I made a profile because I figured it might bring me someone interesting, and if it doesn't what have I really lost? If we're going on a strict marketing analysis, my online presence can only be deemed a complete failure. I have yet to meet anyone with whom I shared a mutual attraction who was within an attainable distance radius, so make of that what you will.

In general terms, I kind of hate to speculate about whether or not I have the magnetism for a passive approach (if only because to say yes would seem like egotism and to say no would seem like self-loathing), but I have done fairly well over the years in person without having approached more than 1 or 2 people. I would like to think that's something about me as a dom, but who really knows? It might just be my hair - it's quite breathtaking

.

As to my profile itself, I'm honestly not sure. This is the first time I've ever really written one, so probably almost anyone's guess would be superior to mine in terms of whether or not it is likely to attract people. It hasn't so far, as I mentioned, but whether that's a problem related to the 75:1 ratio someone mentioned or the profile itself is hard to say. What do you think?

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Post #: 101

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/22/2011 1:32:35 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Palliata

I am on several other sites with the same name, but to be honest my presence both here and elsewhere is mostly for the sake of discussing on forums rather than actually trying to meet people. I made a profile because I figured it might bring me someone interesting, and if it doesn't what have I really lost? If we're going on a strict marketing analysis, my online presence can only be deemed a complete failure. I have yet to meet anyone with whom I shared a mutual attraction who was within an attainable distance radius, so make of that what you will.

Thank you for accepting my comments in the spirit they were intended. Since you're on other sites it's possible our paths have crossed and I'll have to look you up.

I don't consider distance an outright barrier. It really comes down to who's moving and hopefully one of the two is relocatable. But based on what you've stated I'd surmise you haven't encountered someone that could do this or anyone worth making the leap for either.

quote:

In general terms, I kind of hate to speculate about whether or not I have the magnetism for a passive approach (if only because to say yes would seem like egotism and to say no would seem like self-loathing), but I have done fairly well over the years in person without having approached more than 1 or 2 people. I would like to think that's something about me as a dom, but who really knows? It might just be my hair - it's quite breathtaking

Your speculation wouldn't be egotistical in this vain since I posed the question. While truth is subjective, there are realities that one can't ignore and excessive modesty is just as bad as narcissism in my book. But now that you've mentioned your tresses (lovely subliminal hint) I'll have to steal a look. Curiosity and all that jazz. :)

quote:

As to my profile itself, I'm honestly not sure. This is the first time I've ever really written one, so probably almost anyone's guess would be superior to mine in terms of whether or not it is likely to attract people. It hasn't so far, as I mentioned, but whether that's a problem related to the 75:1 ratio someone mentioned or the profile itself is hard to say. What do you think?

It isn't something I do very often, but I have provided feedback when asked to do so. I liken it to your one minute spiel to make an impression before their attention is elsewhere. In my opinion you aren't trying to appeal to the masses, but to those that illustrate what you're seeking in a prospect. A well composed profile will repel and attract. I'll forward my thoughts.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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Post #: 102

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/24/2011 8:46:54 PM

aragos

Posts: 1
Joined: 5/24/2010
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I personally dislike approaching subs/slaves on here. It's tedious at best because of the fact that few respond. I try to approach as respectful as possible as you would approach any stranger to avoid the whole "calling them a sult on the first email" thing and I'm not that way. But at least have the common courtesy to say "not interested" and then I'll leave you alone. But getting a message, is exciting still to this day, and being approached is very flattering. So kudos to those that make the first move!

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Post #: 103

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/24/2011 10:49:47 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
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I've given up contacting sub/slaves on the other side. 90% of those I have contacted (in Aussie on the east coast) who are looking to relocate, and even supplied photos as requested, don't bother to check their CMail for weeks if not longer, and even when it shows they have read it, they have not the basis manners to reply, even if it is "Thanks but no thanks." Such a lack of basic manners fails my first test to them and indicates they would not be compatible. far better to look at importing suitable slkav e flesh (domestic duties) on a paid work contract here from Canada.. (Where I have more one on one contacts)..

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Post #: 104

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/25/2011 3:38:50 AM

SexyBossyBBW

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Joined: 2/25/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero
context of "predatory" the OP was using was not at all relevant to sexual predation, but rather was meant to symbolize the process of aggressive pursuit typically associated with courtship.

I like that kind of pursuit, though I am a fem dominant. To be fair, I will on occasion approach someone noteworthy, who for some reason, has not come accross my profile or emailed me. I don't worry too much about the response, as whatever happens, does, and we live another day. M

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Post #: 105

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/27/2011 11:36:04 AM

RomanticmasterDC

Posts: 12
Joined: 2/17/2011
Status: offline

I think there is a power-dynamic in who does the approaching first, but if you know what you are about, it quickly fades away as you assume control of the situation. I have been approaching appealing subs on this site for a couple months. I don't expect a reply, but when I do I follow up and see where it goes. It has usually been fun; I'm still learning how this thing works though and it is sometimes frustrating. As i see it, I'm still figuring out two new social dynamics: how to identify a promising sub and how to get to know people on a Web site instead of in person.

I've been approached here on CM by female subs who liked my profile and I have to admit it is flattering. I know most women here are flooded with vulgar emails and unwanted attention. So even though my initial emails are respectful I don't take it personally when they don't respond to me, and I'm flattered when they do, and even more flattered when they approach me.

--RMDC

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Post #: 106

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 3/28/2011 4:30:56 PM

UBICUO

Posts: 6
Joined: 3/24/2011
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I don't have problems aproaching people online. It's something impulsive. But I don't think that talking to subs will make me have a lower terrain for a future relation. In any case, maybe is my latin culture, but the "natural order" for me is beeing the approaching one.

I have a very limited success being approached because I'm really bad at creating profiles, don't like to put mi pictures (even on the most vainilla site , even on facebook) and always loose all my creativity. But even with that, sometimes a curious person ask me something and is really nice and don't have any problems with it.

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Post #: 107

RE: Approaching vs Being Approached - 4/1/2011 11:31:51 PM

MstrJamesJ

Posts: 1
Joined: 12/27/2010
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Its power exchange. How ever the first contact is made , the female still has to give up power. Or it resembles rape. Asking for a date- approaching for approval does not set a precident to be overcome or changed later. Its part of the process. If rejection is a factor in all this. Try not to ask yes or no questions. Point out what you like about her and ask for more about her.

Wow i said all that like i actually can do it. lol

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Post #: 108