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RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/14/2011 5:36:22 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Thank you for sharing that hausboy.

Thank you.

And I have to comment, hausboy, that I am impressed with the calm that you evidence on the forums.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to leadership527)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/14/2011 6:07:39 PM

BKSir

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Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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Well, OP, my thoughts on trans subs, in general, happen to be "Send them to me..." ;) But in seriousness, let's take a look at the questions you posed, shall we?

Q1: Do you see a practical difference in the above two, as it matters to you ? Would you have an interest in one but not the other? (assuming you have any interest at all)

Well, I would generally not be terribly interested in a TS, as I'm not really into the female anatomy. Simple as that. TV/CD however, I'm quite interested in.

Q2: Generally only applicable if you don't have much interest in male subs; How do you view trans? In the above example, I get the feeling that this dom views trans subs as a stand-in for a female. An acceptable compromise, second choice, etc. Possibly due to the relative numbers of males to females on the site. Do you view trans subs as something seperate, or as a something that approximates a female sub

Quite separate. Extremely so. I view trans people, be they subs, doms, switches, or none of the above as people, just the same as anyone else. I don't view my subs, any of them, as "stand ins" for anyone or anything. I view them all as unique, beautiful, wonderful individuals of their own merits whom no one on earth could possibly stand in for.

Q3: For doms who have an interest in male subs; how do you view a trans sub? Is an MtF trans sub "too female" for you? Do you have any interest in crossdressing subs that identify as male? Would you expect different things from them than a male sub, if you did take one on?

Interest in CD subs that identify as male? Well, that tends to be pretty damn near the number one spot for my interests, so I'd have to say 'yes'. ;) Would I expect different things? I expect different things from all of my subs. One of them, I didn't expect him to make dinner, because frankly, he was an awful cook. LOL But I did expect him to do the dishes. Every person has their own unique abilities and talents, and that's what I expect from them. The only common expectation I have from all of them is for them to serve and love as best they can.

Q4: How do you view crossdressing and feminization, from a fetish viewpoint? Do you find interest in it, and would you take on a trans sub for that purpose? Or, if you do take on a trans sub, would you expect to have that aspect of their life sorted on their own, so that you could concentrate on whatever other kinks you have in mind?

Uh... hm... how to approach answering this group...
Interest, yes.
Take on a sub for that purpose, yes. But not required. I'd be happy to help one discover this and assist in dressing, etc. I rather enjoy it actually. However I wouldn't turn one down if they were already well on their way to having it all 'good to go', as it were.

Q5: Aside from all of the above, do you have any other thoughts to share? If you are a dom that is not seeking trans subs, is it something you've considered? do you have concerns or thoughts about the subject? I don't know if I can offer to answer questions here, being that this forum is for me asking YOU stuff, but I can always answer by cmail.

Be you. Be yourself. It's the most awesome and amazing thing you can ever be, and the only thing you should ever truly be proud of being. No matter who you are, as long as you're the best you there is, then there's always someone out there who would be proud to know you and call you "friend", "pet", "sub", "lover".

Also, welcome to CM. :) Hope to hear from you more. You seem to be fairly intelligent, well spoken, and from what I've seen (if I may say so) rather pleasant to look at.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to FukinTroll)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/14/2011 6:16:36 PM

Posts: 222
Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

Well, OP, my thoughts on trans subs, in general, happen to be "Send them to me..." ;) But in seriousness, let's take a look at the questions you posed, shall we?

Q1: Do you see a practical difference in the above two, as it matters to you ? Would you have an interest in one but not the other? (assuming you have any interest at all)

Well, I would generally not be terribly interested in a TS, as I'm not really into the female anatomy. Simple as that. TV/CD however, I'm quite interested in.

Q2: Generally only applicable if you don't have much interest in male subs; How do you view trans? In the above example, I get the feeling that this dom views trans subs as a stand-in for a female. An acceptable compromise, second choice, etc. Possibly due to the relative numbers of males to females on the site. Do you view trans subs as something seperate, or as a something that approximates a female sub

Quite separate. Extremely so. I view trans people, be they subs, doms, switches, or none of the above as people, just the same as anyone else. I don't view my subs, any of them, as "stand ins" for anyone or anything. I view them all as unique, beautiful, wonderful individuals of their own merits whom no one on earth could possibly stand in for.

Q3: For doms who have an interest in male subs; how do you view a trans sub? Is an MtF trans sub "too female" for you? Do you have any interest in crossdressing subs that identify as male? Would you expect different things from them than a male sub, if you did take one on?

Interest in CD subs that identify as male? Well, that tends to be pretty damn near the number one spot for my interests, so I'd have to say 'yes'. ;) Would I expect different things? I expect different things from all of my subs. One of them, I didn't expect him to make dinner, because frankly, he was an awful cook. LOL But I did expect him to do the dishes. Every person has their own unique abilities and talents, and that's what I expect from them. The only common expectation I have from all of them is for them to serve and love as best they can.

Q4: How do you view crossdressing and feminization, from a fetish viewpoint? Do you find interest in it, and would you take on a trans sub for that purpose? Or, if you do take on a trans sub, would you expect to have that aspect of their life sorted on their own, so that you could concentrate on whatever other kinks you have in mind?

Uh... hm... how to approach answering this group...
Interest, yes.
Take on a sub for that purpose, yes. But not required. I'd be happy to help one discover this and assist in dressing, etc. I rather enjoy it actually. However I wouldn't turn one down if they were already well on their way to having it all 'good to go', as it were.

Q5: Aside from all of the above, do you have any other thoughts to share? If you are a dom that is not seeking trans subs, is it something you've considered? do you have concerns or thoughts about the subject? I don't know if I can offer to answer questions here, being that this forum is for me asking YOU stuff, but I can always answer by cmail.

Be you. Be yourself. It's the most awesome and amazing thing you can ever be, and the only thing you should ever truly be proud of being. No matter who you are, as long as you're the best you there is, then there's always someone out there who would be proud to know you and call you "friend", "pet", "sub", "lover".

Also, welcome to CM. :) Hope to hear from you more. You seem to be fairly intelligent, well spoken, and from what I've seen (if I may say so) rather pleasant to look at.

Thank you for this detailed response sir ^_^

And for the kind words

quote:

quote:

Q3: For doms who have an interest in male subs; how do you view a trans sub? Is an MtF trans sub "too female" for you? Do you have any interest in crossdressing subs that identify as male? Would you expect different things from them than a male sub, if you did take one on?

Interest in CD subs that identify as male? Well, that tends to be pretty damn near the number one spot for my interests, so I'd have to say 'yes'. ;) Would I expect different things? I expect different things from all of my subs. One of them, I didn't expect him to make dinner, because frankly, he was an awful cook. LOL But I did expect him to do the dishes. Every person has their own unique abilities and talents, and that's what I expect from them. The only common expectation I have from all of them is for them to serve and love as best they can.

I meant CD subs who identify as female, sir. With regards to different things; would you expect a MtF sub to use their cock, or be in any way active?

(in reply to BKSir)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/14/2011 6:30:49 PM

BKSir

Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Nanako

quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

quote:

Q3: For doms who have an interest in male subs; how do you view a trans sub? Is an MtF trans sub "too female" for you? Do you have any interest in crossdressing subs that identify as male? Would you expect different things from them than a male sub, if you did take one on?

Interest in CD subs that identify as male? Well, that tends to be pretty damn near the number one spot for my interests, so I'd have to say 'yes'. ;) Would I expect different things? I expect different things from all of my subs. One of them, I didn't expect him to make dinner, because frankly, he was an awful cook. LOL But I did expect him to do the dishes. Every person has their own unique abilities and talents, and that's what I expect from them. The only common expectation I have from all of them is for them to serve and love as best they can.

I meant CD subs who identify as female, sir. With regards to different things; would you expect a MtF sub to use their cock, or be in any way active?

Ohhh, I misunderstood. Well, referring back to answer 1, I would indeed expect such a thing, but would have no problem if they identified as male or female or even moose. As long as they primarily identified themselves as mine, and was true to themselves and me, then the rest is all area for compromise or at least discussion.

On a lighter note, just because I'm one of those all glorious and powerful D-types, I still like the peen and think it's rather fun and integral part of my toys. It's like having a monopoly game and playing with most of it, but not the dice. Just one part of the whole that completes the picture.

PS: Aren't you up awful late?
PPS: Like I have room to talk usually. ;)
PPPS: No reason to call me "sir", you're not my pet, nor do you work under me. LOL But I do appreciate the effort and sentiment.

< Message edited by BKSir -- 2/14/2011 6:32:10 PM >

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Nanako)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/14/2011 6:43:50 PM

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Joined: 2/7/2011
From: Glasgow, Scotland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BKSir

PS: Aren't you up awful late?
PPS: Like I have room to talk usually. ;)
PPPS: No reason to call me "sir", you're not my pet, nor do you work under me. LOL But I do appreciate the effort and sentiment.

I seem to be always up late :(

and I'm just being polite ^_^ I use sir when talking to random strangers in the street, or pretty much any adult male who hasn't told me to do otherwise.

(in reply to BKSir)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/14/2011 6:53:01 PM

BKSir

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From: Salt Lake City, UT
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Nothing wrong with that. Late is when all the fun people come out to play. ;)

And I know. I was just being a bit of a meanie for a bit. But in the good way.

Admittedly, I'm finding the timing on this rather interesting. Your questions are things I've been asking myself recently as well. My partner of near 16 years is now letting himself explore the possibilities of transvestism and cross dressing, and experimenting with it. It's a bit interesting, this situation. I'm used to it, and expect it from my pets, but after this many years with someone who is now just beginning to discover and explore this new possible aspect and side of himself, it's making me ask some far deeper questions and more serious considerations into these areas as well.

_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

BiggKatt Studios

(in reply to Nanako)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/15/2011 7:51:41 AM

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From: Petaluma, CA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy

Good grief. This thread is already giving me a headache.

SlaveOwnedDave: I'm guessing I just have much more contact with transfolk than you do. There are actually petite transwomen (MTF) out there. You just don't know it because they live completely as women and just blend right in with all the other women. And by the way--I guess you don't have a lot of FTMs in your life either. Because a good many of us are just as strong as bio-men. Some of us are body builders....some of us are cops...some firefighters...construction workers...whatever. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be, courtesy of modern chemistry.

No one sees me as Trans--and thank goodness--I wouldn't want them too-- I am seen exactly as I am--a man. This whole men are men but trans is trans is a lot of bullocks. The truth is, there are likely a handful of transpeople who you have encountered in your life, and you had no idea that they are trans. The only place I'm "out" is here, online.

Many of us, like myself, live completely stealth, so that we can live our lives without having to deal with prejudices of others. My co-workers....neighbors...not even my housemate...know or suspect that I'm anything other than 100% male from the start. It's a luxury many of my transsisters don't have. Saying that you consider transmen to not be "real men" and transwomen to not be 'real women" is really a slap in the face

Thank you for the flame. You had Me going, there, until I realized you had not bothered to read what I said.
I never said trans are not real. Thus, you are lying. Or are you just a troll??
I accept critique, I do not accept libel. Try to get it right, sometime!

(in reply to hausboy)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/15/2011 11:50:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: NaughtybyNight

There's (in my opinion) a huge difference between a TV and someone who is TG. Any guy can put on woman's clothes if he enjoys them but being TG is a medical condition. A horrible, heart breaking one. To be trapped in the wrong gender's body is a reminder every second of every day that you don't feel whole. I have a friend who didn't have her surgery (MtF) until she was in her mid forties. She told me that the second she woke up after surgery and was able to check on what was down there now her whole life changed and she was finally happy. And I was fanatically happy for her. As for Doms........ There will always be bigots and ignorant people who don't understand that for some being a TV is the first steps they're taking to being TG. You are who you are baby and someone out there is looking for you. NbN

You seem like a lovely human being. Well said.

(in reply to NaughtybyNight)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/15/2011 7:40:54 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveOwnerDave

Thank you for the flame. You had Me going, there, until I realized you had not bothered to read what I said.
I never said trans are not real. Thus, you are lying. Or are you just a troll??
I accept critique, I do not accept libel. Try to get it right, sometime!

Godd evening SOD.
Actually, I read every word you said. You made several generalizations--that biofemales are smaller than MTFs. As I pointed out in my post, this is a generalization and not a hard and fast rule. There are MTFs who are petite--most live stealth, and no one ever knows about them. You then made another generalization that an FTM is not as strong as a bio male. Grossly untrue as well.

There was nothing in my post, in response to yours that was inflammatory or libel against your character. I stand by my words that anyone who makes the generalizations that you made--that MTFs don't come in a Size 4 dress or that FTMs can't bench press--hasn't met a lot of transfolk other than the "obvious" ones who are unable to live stealth.

Nowhere did I "accuse" you of saying that transfolk aren't real. For someone so quick to claim that I didn't read your post--it's obvious you didn't read mine either. My response was completely truthful, and I believe I did get it right.
As for your troll remark-- You only dishonor yourself with such statements.

< Message edited by hausboy -- 2/15/2011 7:42:41 PM >

(in reply to SlaveOwnerDave)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/15/2011 7:44:16 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

Thank you for sharing that hausboy.

Thank you.

And I have to comment, hausboy, that I am impressed with the calm that you evidence on the forums.

Thank you Steven
and you as well..... it's a pity not everyone can follow suit.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/15/2011 10:25:25 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveOwnerDave
Good questions.
1. TV and TG are essentially the same. One is for fun, the other has an important need.

IMO, TV and TG are totally different. Sure, they might wear the same clothes, but one is just wearing the clothes for sexual kicks (I think anyway) and the other REALLY FEELS that s/he is the opposite sex from the one they were born into. The TV's/CD's I know are secure in being the sex they were born into, the TG/TS people I know feel that they should have been born into the gender that they were not born into. I know both MtF and FtM TG people and they both tell me the same thing.....until they had their sex-reassignment surgery, their psyches and their bodies were at odds. As a matter of fact, they're both very close personal friends of mine.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Am I the only one who views a CD as a straight male interested in sex with women but defines gay males who dress as women as being in drag?

I feel the same. CD is a straight man interested in straight sex but he likes to wear women's clothes, a Drag Queen is a gay man interested in gay sex AND he likes to wear women's clothes. ALSO, for that matter, I think a TG/TS wears clothing usual for the opposite sex and feels like s/he really is the sex s/he wasn't born into.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to SlaveOwnerDave)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 2:10:54 AM

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From: Glasgow, Scotland
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

IMO, TV and TG are totally different. Sure, they might wear the same clothes, but one is just wearing the clothes for sexual kicks (I think anyway) and the other REALLY FEELS that s/he is the opposite sex from the one they were born into. The TV's/CD's I know are secure in being the sex they were born into, the TG/TS people I know feel that they should have been born into the gender that they were not born into. I know both MtF and FtM TG people and they both tell me the same thing.....until they had their sex-reassignment surgery, their psyches and their bodies were at odds. As a matter of fact, they're both very close personal friends of mine.

Hello Miss ^^
TG (transgender) is most often used as an umbrella term, to cover everything in this sphere of influence. Anyone who identifies as TS, CD, TV, etc, also fall under transgender.. What you describe as transgender, is pretty much the definition of transsexual.

Transvestism does not necessarily have anything to do with sex. I know some TVs who sincerely wish to fully transition, but for whatever reason (wife/family/kids/fears/age) they cannot, and use dressing up to live the experience temporarily. Perhaps the TVs you know are comfortable with their biological gender, but that does not apply to all, and personally it applies to very few of the ones I know. I identify as TV personally, because I am not yet on hormones, living as female, or preparing for surgery. Whether I will do these things in future is a bag of uncertainty, but none are ruled out.

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Am I the only one who views a CD as a straight male interested in sex with women but defines gay males who dress as women as being in drag?

I feel the same. CD is a straight man interested in straight sex but he likes to wear women's clothes, a Drag Queen is a gay man interested in gay sex AND he likes to wear women's clothes. ALSO, for that matter, I think a TG/TS wears clothing usual for the opposite sex and feels like s/he really is the sex s/he wasn't born into.

~sweetsub~

You can't really just go around making up your own definitiions for words Miss (._.)
CD (abbreviation of crossdresser) is anyone of any gender who dresses up as the oppposite gender, for any reason. Sexuality doesn't fit into the definition at all. It simply doesn't contain that information, makes no assertion one way or the other.
Drag queen, as mentioned before, is a performance term, for someone who crossdresses for the specific purpose of performing. Again nothing to do with sexuality

The wikipedia page for this stuff is helpful: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender ^_^

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 6:59:13 AM

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I'll repeat here what I've said on the other side. My thanks to you, hausboy, for taking the time to write the follow up post. I really didn't consider My remarks compassionate. If anything, in My mind, they were rather selfish. Even we big, bad Dominants know our weaknesses. The idea of losing My family absolutely is Mine.

Dave, while I wouldn't say that anyone should avoid expressing their views, I think you've made an incorrect assumption regarding hausboy. Either that or we have different definitions as related to the word "troll". While I don't know him personally, I could hardly consider him as someone who makes no positive contribution to the forums. (One of the characteristics of an internet troll, as I'm sure we could agree.) I'm sure you'll come to find many of his contributions worthwhile, even if this particular subject is one that you may not be seeing eye to eye.

My regards to your household.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to hausboy)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 7:20:41 AM

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You know, if I have learned anything in my years here on the big ball-o-dirt, it is that the terms and contexts and definitions around concepts of those who are in some way "other gendered" are pretty much completely fluid depending on the person. I don't get too hung up on what term someone is using or how they are using it as long as their intentions seem be honest and respectful of me.

I let people label themselves, and then do my best to use their terms when referring to them.

Without doubt, Dominant males or females who are "into" someone who identifies as other gendered or expresses gender fluidity is a smaller pool...however, I think that if, as people, we submissives/slaves do our best to make ourselves "a catch" to any Dominant, not just one that wants a trans/CD/TV/TG/insertyourtermhere...we might turn the odds more to our favor.

In my view, we do that by being awesome human beings in vanilla life who are not totally kink/gender-focused, are relationship aware, are more "other focused", and have made an effort to develop mad subbie skillz!
At a club a few weeks ago, my Lady said that there were bisexual male Doms in attendance who "would be interested in you..." I have to say that took me totally aback, but I was delighted to know that there were males in the BDSM world who would be interested in an other gendered person!

I also wonder if those with more years in the scene might comment on the numbers of other gendered people in the scene - More people expressing gender fluidity at clubs, events, etc...has it increased over the years? Have you seen more/less acceptance? My guess (and information gathered from others) is that it has increased...and that the acceptance of gender expression has increased over the years, but it would be nice to have additional confirmation.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to Nanako)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 7:34:04 AM

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From: Savannah, GA
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~FR~ and not directly answering the question (havent read the entire thread.. close to nap time for me)

but my personal view on TG folks is that they are the gender they identify as. I dont care what genitalia they have/had. If someone born as Michael identies to me as Michelle, then Michelle it shall always be, for instance. Pre-op/post op.. whatever.. their gender is THEIRS to define, and I will accept that, and embrace it.

DISCLAIMER:
*Disclaimer: .. I refuse to promise that anything I may say over the next few hours will make sense, (even to myself, upon review)*

I'm sleepy.. if it doesnt make sense, ask me later, with references to what I said,so hopefully, I can clarify. No promises.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 7:54:16 AM

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Greedy makes a good point, and something that I wanted to point out as well - this whole "what do I call you thing"...

It is my experience that it can make cis-gendered people (yea, that's what we call you folk who are right at home with your brain and your plumbing) very nervous about interacting with other gendered folk - they honestly don't want to offend, and honestly, many other gendered folk tend to be out there looking for offense and thus can be quite sticky on terms.

I personally find this a total barrier to "normal relations" and thereby try to be very open and fluid - not only about my gender, but my name ( I have two, male and female, and string them together, and answer to them separately regardless of how I am presenting), how people refer to me and the terms that they use. I find that once people determine that you are not going to "go off on them" for calling you "he" or "him", they are more likely to fall in line to how you refer to yourself, or will feel more comfortable asking you for your preference.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to GreedyTop)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 8:47:50 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
At a club a few weeks ago, my Lady said that there were bisexual male Doms in attendance who "would be interested in you..." I have to say that took me totally aback, but I was delighted to know that there were males in the BDSM world who would be interested in an other gendered person!

I also wonder if those with more years in the scene might comment on the numbers of other gendered people in the scene - More people expressing gender fluidity at clubs, events, etc...has it increased over the years? Have you seen more/less acceptance? My guess (and information gathered from others) is that it has increased...and that the acceptance of gender expression has increased over the years, but it would be nice to have additional confirmation.

Again, not the best person to answer the questions, but will offer the small tidbit that I have.

Yes, it has increased over the years. I think part of what has happened is that there is more availability of kink events and in some cases, there are folks that feel that is the environment where they can be 'out' as the gender they wish to present. I see this more with folks who aren't living as the gender that they are transitioning to full time. More those who dress on occasion.

From the standpoint of My experience with clubs and organizations, I've seen more occasions where folks who are presenting as female be permitted to attend when there is a designation of 'ladies only'. The key part to this is that when attending, you come to the event as female and remain female for the duration of the event. Some will specify the difference between those cross dressing for fetish and those who identify as transgender.

That's the 'getting in the door' part. How well a person is received after that will completely depend on other folks attending. I've seen the whole spectrum on this. Everything from folks being welcomed to the event in the gender they are presenting to they came for an hour and then left because so few people would talk with them during mingling. I remember very vividly an event from a few years back where the latter happened and the person asked for a refund of the event because their position was that it was a waste of their money to come when no one would talk to them.

Personal dynamics, I can't say I've seen a lot of change. I don't necessarily think that there has been an increase from what I gather from conversations with other women who identify as female Dominants. I don't have enough information on the position of male Dominants to offer an opinion either way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 9:38:14 AM

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Thanks for your thoughts LadyP...while I certainly understand that some folk might have trouble talking to someone expressing gender fluidity, I think it is also a two-way street. How a person presents themselves makes a huge difference in how they are received in group dynamics - dress, deportment, and attitude can make a big difference and most trans folk learn pretty early on that how people react to you, depends largely on how comfortable you are with yourself and if you present confidence or confusion, openness or defensiveness.

From a personal dynamic perspective...we actually spent this past weekend with a Femdom/sissy couple and we discussed this a bit - how in the Denver scene we see so few actual working relationships of that type, how it seems that gender expression is more accepted, but the dynamics of sexual preference still play a huge part in coupling because intimate relations are part of so many BDSM relationships.

We also discussed how if more Ladies actually understood the benefits of having a girlie-boy in their service, they would be lining up! Doms too I think...

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(in reply to LadyPact)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 9:54:44 AM

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You're welcome as always, Otters. Actually, I think you did a better job at hitting the nail on the head better than I did. I think both sides play a part at times when it doesn't go well. Sometimes it is based on personal bias and prejudices, but there can also be that 'chip on the shoulder' mentality. To go back to hausboy's post, he mentioned specifically that he could go about hating the world or live to the fullest. In fairness, there are also folks out there who have struggled for so long that they expect problems and are on the defensive. Where one might see bigotry, another might have seen a room full of people who were merely talking with friends they already knew. Sometimes, our own influences color our perceptions.

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(in reply to OttersSwim)

RE: Your thoughts on trans subs? - 2/16/2011 2:42:35 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'll repeat here what I've said on the other side. My thanks to you, hausboy, for taking the time to write the follow up post. I really didn't consider My remarks compassionate. If anything, in My mind, they were rather selfish. Even we big, bad Dominants know our weaknesses. The idea of losing My family absolutely is Mine.

Dave, while I wouldn't say that anyone should avoid expressing their views, I think you've made an incorrect assumption regarding hausboy. Either that or we have different definitions as related to the word "troll". While I don't know him personally, I could hardly consider him as someone who makes no positive contribution to the forums. (One of the characteristics of an internet troll, as I'm sure we could agree.) I'm sure you'll come to find many of his contributions worthwhile, even if this particular subject is one that you may not be seeing eye to eye.

My regards to your household.

Thank you LadyPact. What I felt was compassionate was your ability to place yourself in the shoes of a transperson--and recognize the tremendous risk and loss that can occur from transition. Not many people can even make that mental stretch--they get so caught up on the "logistical" aspects that they forget the emotional side of it. There's nothing selfish about that.

Given the popularity that FukinTroll has on this site, I think perhaps I need to embrace that label--it might do me some good with the ladies.

(in reply to LadyPact)

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