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analyticalmaster -> RE: Looking for a Master to Mentor and lern from (3/5/2011 8:01:34 PM)
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Good evening,
Checking your profile, I see that you and your submissive are both extremely young. That is your first limitation, I dont say that to be discouraging but it is your reality. Being a Dominant and being a Top are two very different things, being young is not a limitation on being a great top it is however a problem when it becomes a successful dominant. As I have never met you, I have no idea of how mature you are at this stage of your life. My general rule is that for most males is that the transition stage from being a boy at heart to being a fully grown up man starts at around 25 years.
The problem is that it is difficult to control another if you dont have control of yourself. The first stage of controlling yourself is that you must know and understand who you are as a person, most young people simply dont have enough life experience to truly know who they are yet. You are on the cusp of true adulthood now and I am assuming that you are maturing in a typical manner for most young males. By the way what I am saying to you go just as much for your submissive. They must know and understand themselves just as any dominant does. A doormat does not make a good submissive.
Looking at what little you have posted, you both are playing in the Top/bottom area to some degree at this point. This is a good place for you as you grow into yourself, it is much more about techniques and endurance than true control is. But as you grow expanding your dominance is both the right and natural way is that is in fact how you are wired. Likewise as your submissive grows into herself, she may find the maturity and desire to grow into becoming a great slave, assuming again that is in fact how she truly is.
The goal of your life should not to be master and slave or dom and submissive or even your typical vanilla couple, it is a journey to becoming what you really are and what truly brings joy to both of your hearts. You will find plenty of people (low life scum in my opinion) who will tell you that what your sub wants or feels is irrelevant, it is all about the Dom and meeting his needs. You will also find plenty of people (misguided idiots) who will tell you it is all about the submissive and she is simply giving you a gift. The first is simply abuse of women who have no self esteem, the second is simple ignorance.
If you want to become a master or just a good dominant, the needs of your sub become your needs very quickly, not all of her wants by any means, but her true needs. It is your responsibility to make the home work for both of you. It is her responsibility to follow the path you lay down, to serve and derive pleasure from that service. This is a two way street, both of you contribute, being dom is not being a top sergent who bellows out orders or beats the shit out of anyone who displeases him. A dom and especially a master is a leader and commands the respect of his submissives by simply being who he is.
As I stated earlier the first step is to know who you are and who you want to be, then being it. Being true, first to yourself and then to others in your life. The most important thing about being a good dominant is first being a good man. If you have any specific questions, please feel free to get in contact with me, if I dont know, I almost certainly know someone who does.
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