RE: A rant about the grim ones.

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RE: A rant about the grim ones. - 2/28/2011 6:23:06 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan

~FR~

Even it were "just" a dating site, I really don't understand what's so hard about finding a partner. In the time I've been on CM, I've found at least three, including my girl, and I've made several friends on top of that.  Am I a drop-dead goreous model? No.

Do I live in a major city like Los Angeles or NYC with hundreds of potential partners?  No.

Am I a Pro with paying clients?  Hell no.

I'm a middle-aged, married mom. I'm not single, unencumbered by major responsibilities, or in the oh-so-desirable 18-35 age bracket. So how is it that I've managed to find at least three people to play with on this site alone? I think the answer comes down to what I call the Three P's: Presentation, Politeness, and Patience. Apparently, the Grims don't understand let alone have mastery of the basics.

I can't help but to quote this as it is so much how I feel on the matter. OK. Maybe in My case I don't see Myself so much in alliance with the three P's in regard to My posting style, but the rest of it is so on target that it's impossible to ignore.

I've never looked at CM as a dating site. I don't really use it that way. Yet, I've managed to meet people through it. Like the above, I don't feel as though I'm prime target at all. I should be so far down on the list that it's scary.

This is why I can't really identify with folks who come over to the forums side to rant about how hard it is to find people to connect with. I literally just don't get it. I think it's possible that it might be exactly as Steven points out. They are so focused on that particular aspect that the pressure that they create for themselves just makes matters worse. Of course, when that happens, it's always everyone else's fault (pros, etc) and can't possibly be the way they are going about it.

(It's a bit early yet, so I'm not sure if that last line is written in a way that the sarcasm comes through appropriately.)

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RE: A rant about the grim ones. - 2/28/2011 7:22:36 AM

LillyBoPeep

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i never really looked at it as a dating site, either, because when i first joined it, i didn't see it that way. sometimes it's hard to redefine a thing you've already come to know -- do you even have to?
for me, i don't think it's about the 3 Ps, i think i'm pretty patient, polite, and present my points in well-thought-out ways. =p (yes, that is my own horn you're hearing =p bwah haha)

i haven't generally been attracted to people who were attracted to me, and the people i AM attracted to, i'm not attractive to them. =p honestly, the world is probably drowning in female subs and i'm just one of many, and often one who doesn't make the cut for any number of reasons. i could take it personally, or i could just shrug it off and forget it, which, after a while, is what i do.

maybe i'll find someone. or maybe i'm a spinster at 26, doomed to wander the earth alone after my "one true love's untimely demise." =p
life is funny that way.

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RE: A rant about the grim ones. - 2/28/2011 8:26:23 PM

Kaliko

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It was a dating site originally to me. Which is why I came and went with a few different profiles over the years. I never really took it too seriously - signed on and made a profile when I was looking, closed my account when I wasn't interested anymore. My last time around was when I started to really get into the boards - posting, not just reading. This time I'm trying to stick it out under the same profile primarily because of these boards. I don't want to see the vanilla ice cream cone again.

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RE: A rant about the grim ones. - 2/28/2011 8:39:42 PM

goddesserato

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
So how is it that I've managed to find at least three people to play with on this site alone? I think the answer comes down to what I call the Three P's: Presentation, Politeness, and Patience. Apparently, the Grims don't understand let alone have mastery of the basics.

Exactly my thoughts. Being polite and presenting yourself well go a long way whenever you deal with other people- here on CM, in real life, wherever. If you can't at least show that "momma raised you right", then you're bound for disaster.

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RE: A rant about the grim ones. - 2/28/2011 11:15:36 PM

NihilusZero

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Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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We have some comments bemoaning this site being used for dating and then other comments describing suggestions as to how to approach the site in the ways that will best yield dating results.

People will seek to find connections no matter where they are. All we're arguing about is what type of connections and methods we do and don't prefer.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 2/28/2011 11:16:09 PM >

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