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LaTigresse -> Internet bullying. (3/10/2011 12:10:25 PM)
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In reading another thread here, early this morning, I got to thinking about this topic on my drive in to work.
I can see several sides of the issue.
With kids, I really do believe that there are limits, even online. And I support adults enforcing those limits. I think we all realize that kids can be very cruel, vicious even, and allow that to spill over onto the internet and social networks in ways that are unacceptable and harmful. So, in the light of the fact that none of us are children and really should be able to police ourselves....
For me, if I was answering a thread about 'nasty old meanies' making, less than coddling remarks, on a thread..... I think most people that have read many of posts would have a general idea of how I would answer. I am not gentle. I don't coddle those I see as fools. I will even enjoy sadistically poking sticks at those I see as fools. Even more fun, pompous fools that seem to feel they are the 'all knowing' uber cool......whatever.
I have a strong belief in taking responsibility for myself and how I allow other people to affect me. Both here and in my daily life. Yet, I also accept that there is a certain responsibility I have, or WANT to have, in how I affect other people's lives.
Yes, I gleefully admit I am a sadistic bitch. But where my boundaries are, who I hurt, how, why, all of those things I know I need to be responsible. Always in the back of my mind there is a voice "Do no harm". For a sadist like me, there is quite often a huge gray area where a clear boundary exists for others.
For myself, I can honestly say that I've never had any regret over anything I've posted. Yes, I know I've been misunderstood.....if it's been brought to my attention I clarify. If I've been aware I've hurt feelings by accident, I apologize.
Yet, I know that the way in which I speak, and write, is blunt and to the point. I don't candy coat my truths. If that makes people uncomfortable or hurts someone's feelings, generally I am still not going to feel remorse.
I think that my line between speaking bluntly and bullying/sadistic snark........is simply my own intent. For me, it really is that simple.
What I see in others, often appears to be gang mentality and/or, wanting to fit in. There will be one poster, perhaps someone less fortunate, emotionally, mentally, educationally, financially, or physically. Someone that has certain qualities that are considered disgusting or pathetic. I occasionally see, an almost nasty teen girl type reaction. Oh, it gets quite expertly coated in 'helpfulness' but the nasty is there, glaring, obvious for all to see. With no exactly word or phrase as a sign, but still there none the less. To me, I can see how that could be bullying. That will often trigger in me, a desire to deflect, protect, and then attack the attacker. Not the most admirable of reactions but there it is.
So where are your lines? Where do you step in? Do you, do you feel any obligation to monitor your words? Do you feel more free to be nasty via the net? Do you ever consider that the person you are about to attack might not think, feel, have the same capacity to deflect, understand, cope........as you do? Do you even give a shit......ever?
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